Umxholo
- USally wayeneminyaka engama-23 kwaye wayehlala eSan Francisco xa inkcubeko itshintshile
- UFawn wayeneminyaka eyi-19 ngelo xesha, kwaye uyayichaza into ethethwa nguSally
- UMarc, 50, uyimbali-mlando umsebenzi wakhe ugxile kwixesha lenkululeko ngokwesondo
- URhonda unembono engathandekiyo yenkululeko yesondo
Xa sithetha ngenkululeko yesondo, sithetha ngantoni kanye kanye? Kwabaninzi abantu, la magama mabini azisa imifanekiso yabasetyhini abatshisa iibrasi zabo ngexesha loqhankqalazo oluninzi, ihlobo laseLuthando kunye neHaight-Ashbury, kunye nemvakalelo ngokubanzi yesini simahla-kuyo yonke into eyayingaziwa ngaphambili. Nangona uyichaza, inkululeko yesondo yayiyeyona ibalulekileyo, ukutshintsha inkcubeko eyenzeka ngexesha leminyaka engamashumi amabini phakathi kweminyaka yama-1960 kunye neye-1980, kwaye yatshintsha ngonaphakade indlela eyayijongwa ngayo isini, ngakumbi isini sabasetyhini.
Kwabasetyhini, inkululeko yezesondo imalunga nokuxhotyiswa.
Umfazi okhululwe ngokwesondo une-arhente yasimahla emzimbeni wakhe, ukonwaba kwakhe, ukhetho analo kumaqabane, kunye nendlela anqwenela ngayo ukuhlala nobudlelwane bakhe bezesondo- okukhethekileyo, okungakhethiyo, njl. inkululeko yesondo.
USally wayeneminyaka engama-23 kwaye wayehlala eSan Francisco xa inkcubeko itshintshile
"Ndikhulele kwikhaya elalisemaphandleni- ngokwesintu," usixelela. “Umama wayehleli ekhaya ekhulisa mna nabantakwethu, utata wayesebenza. Kwakukho intetho encinci malunga nesondo kwaye hayi Thetha ngokuzonwabisa ngokwesondo. Kwakucingelwa ukuba ndiza kuhlala ndiyintombi de nditshate. Kwaye ndandiyintombi kuyo yonke ikholeji.
Emva kwezifundo zam, ndafudukela eSan Francisco ndaza ndayibetha kanye ngelo xesha lehlobo leXesha loThando. Imotto yethu? Vula, uvule, uphume. Kwakukho uthotho lweziyobisi zijikeleza, uhlobo olutsha lomculo luza kuloo ndawo, kwaye sasinxibe sonke kuMary Quant kunye ne-tie-dye.
Ngayo yonke loo nto yayiyile ngcamango yothando olukhululekileyo. Sasinokufikelela kulawulo lokuzalwa kwaye uloyiko lokukhulelwa lwalususiwe ngaphandle kwenxaki.
Ke siye salala naye nabani na esimfunayo, xa sifuna njalo, kunye okanye ngaphandle kokuzibophelela kumfo lowo. Kwakuyinkululeko yezesondo kum ... kwaye ndinethamsanqa ukuba ndiyiphile. Yakha indlela endijonga ngayo isini kunye nolonwabo ngokwesondo ubomi bam bonke. ”
UFawn wayeneminyaka eyi-19 ngelo xesha, kwaye uyayichaza into ethethwa nguSally
“Ndizibona ndinethamsanqa lokuba ndide ndaluphala ngexesha lenkululeko yesondo. Zimkile iilebheli ezinje nge "slut" okanye "intombazana elula" okanye zonke ezinye iimonikers ezisetyenziswa ngabantu ngokujongela phantsi abasetyhini abaqinisekisa iminqweno yabo yesini.
Besingakhululekanga nje ukonwabela ukwabelana ngesondo, kodwa besikhululekile kwihlazo elihamba nokonwaba ngokwesondo, iintloni ndicinga ukuba oomama bethu babenazo.
Inkululeko yezesondo ikwathetha ukuba sinokuba namaqabane amaninzi ngaphandle kokukhathazeka malunga nokubonwa njenge-slut. Wonke umntu wayenamaqabane awohlukeneyo, yayiyinxalenye yenkcubeko. Ngapha koko, ukuba ubufuna ukuba ne-monogamous (eyona nto bendiyithanda kakhulu), abantu bakubize ngokuba "uptight" okanye "possessive".
Ndonwabile ngokwenene zizinto ezinokuzinza kwii-80s, kwaye kwabakho ukubuyela kwi-monogamy, ngakumbi xa kwafika i-AIDS kwindawo leyo kuba le yayiyimvelo yam.
Owu, ungandivi kakubi. Ndiyithandile imvakalelo yokuxhobisa umbutho wenkululeko yesondo ondinike wona, kodwa ekugqibeleni, bendilulo uhlobo lomntu oyindoda. Ukanti, bendinokhetho, kwaye intle loo nto. ”
UMarc, 50, uyimbali-mlando umsebenzi wakhe ugxile kwixesha lenkululeko ngokwesondo
Uyasifundisa: “Eyona njongo iphambili yenkululeko yezesondo yayikukuphucuka kunye nokufumaneka okuxhaphakileyo kolawulo lokuzalwa. Ingqondo yam ngaphandle kwale, inkululeko yesondo ayinakwenzeka. Ycinge. Ukuba abafazi bebengazange babe nokufikelela kwiPilisi, isondo ngekhe sahlala sigcinelwe izibini ezitshatileyo, ezazinezakhiwo zokukhulisa bonke abo bantwana bazalwa kuba kwakungekho ndlela inokuthenjwa yokuthintela ukukhulelwa.
Ngokufika kwepilisi kwafika inkululeko yokuba neentlobano zesini ngenxa yolonwabo, hayi ukuzala kuphela. Le yayiyibhola entsha ngokupheleleyo yabasetyhini, abathi de umbutho wenkululeko yezesondo, babengenayo inkululeko, njengamadoda, bonwabele isondo ngaphandle koloyiko lokukhulelwa.
Ukusuka apho, abafazi baqonda ukuba bangabaqhubi bezesondo zabo, ukonwaba kwabo, kunye nendlela abanokuthi basebenzise ngayo isondo ukuveza izimvo zabo nokunxibelelana nehlabathi elibangqongileyo. Olunjani lona utshintsho kubo!
Ngaba singcono ngalo?
Ewe, ngeendlela ezininzi sinjalo. Ukwabelana ngesondo kunye nolonwabo zizinto ezibalulekileyo ebomini. Beka ngale ndlela. Ngaphambi kwenguquko yesini, abasetyhini babenesidingo sokunxibelelana nesini sabo kodwa akukho ndlela yakwenza oko ngaphandle komtshato. Oko kwakumda ngokwenene kubo.
Kodwa emva kwenguquko kwezesondo, bakhululwa kwaye ngoku banokubona ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukuba ne-arhente kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi babo, ngokwesondo nangaphandle kwesondo. ”
URhonda unembono engathandekiyo yenkululeko yesondo
“Mamela, bendiphila ngeli xesha bekugcwele ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye ndingakuxelela into ibenye: abaxhamli bokwenyani benkululeko yesondo babengengabo ababhinqileyo. Yayingamadoda. Ngokukhawuleza banokwabelana ngesondo xa befuna, kunye namaqabane ahlukeneyo, ngokungazinikeli kunye nemiphumo emibi.
Kodwa ucinga ntoni?
Kuyo yonke intetho yabo "ekhululiweyo", abasetyhini bahlala befana: bafuna ukuzibophelela. Bafuna ukulala ngesondo kunye neqabane elinothando, umntu abathandana naye. Uyabona yonke le mifanekiso yeendaba yeWoodstock kunye namadoda nabasetyhini abelana ngesondo kuyo yonke indawo kunye nabani na, kodwa eneneni, abona bantu bakhululwe ngokwesondo kuthi bafuna ukuhlala nomnye umntu olungileyo ekupheleni kosuku kwaye silale nje. yena.
Owu, amadoda avuya kakhulu yile ntengiso yasimahla yesondo. Kodwa abafazi? Andinakucinga ngomnye wabo namhlanje onokuthi afune ukukhumbula imihla yabo yenkululeko ngokwesondo. ”