Umxholo
- Ukukopa-kumiselwa njani?
- 1. Ukukopa ngokwasemzimbeni
- 2. Ukukopa ngokweemvakalelo
- 3. Ukukopa kwi-Intanethi
- Ukuqonda imeko - amanani 'okukopela'
- Izizathu zokuba amanani atshintshile
- Ngubani okopela ngakumbi, angamadoda okanye amabhinqa?
Xa ufunda okanye usiva igama elithi "umkhohlisi", uninzi lwethu luya kucinga ngendoda enomnye umfazi, akunjalo?
Siyabadelela abantu abakhohlisayo kungekuphela ngenxa yobuhlungu kunye nentlungu abayinika amaqabane abo kodwa nangenxa yokuba kusisono ukukopela. Kutheni bengashiyi ubudlelwane ukuba abasavuyi?
Ngokuqinisekileyo uvile ngebinzana elithi abantu bayakhohlisa okanye ngendalo, baya kulingeka-ewe, oko kwakungaphambili. Uya kumangaliswa kukwazi ukuba namhlanje, abantu basetyhini banakho ukukopa njengamadoda kwaye oku kusenza ukuba sicingisise, ngoobani abakhohlisa ngakumbi, amadoda okanye abafazi?
Ukukopa-kumiselwa njani?
Ngaba ungumkhohlisi?
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukhe wazibuza lo mbuzo kwezinye iimeko okhe wadlula kuzo kwaye sonke siyazi ukuba kutheni.
Ukukopa sisono esinokufa.
Inoba sisoyika ukwenza impazamo okanye sele siyenzile kwaye sifuna uhlobo oluthile lwesizathu.
Ngubani okopela ngakumbi, amadoda okanye abafazi? Wazi njani ukuba sele ukopela? Ukuba nolwalamano akuqali kwaye kuphele ngokulala nomntu ongeloqabane lakho. Ngapha koko, oko kubizwa ngokuba kukungadlali okungenabungozi kunokuthathwa njengomda wokukopela.
Makhe sijonge iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokukopela kwaye sibone ukuba ngubani onetyala!
1. Ukukopa ngokwasemzimbeni
Le yeyona nkcazo ixhaphakileyo yokukhohlisa. Kuxa usabelana ngesondo nomnye umntu ongelilo iqabane lakho.
Amadoda nabafazi bobabini banakho ukuzibophelela kweli nyathelo kodwa amaxesha amaninzi, ngabafazi abatyala imali eninzi ngakumbi kuneminqweno yabo yenyama. Kubo, ukukopa ngokwasemzimbeni kukhatshwa kukopela ngokweemvakalelo.
2. Ukukopa ngokweemvakalelo
Xa kuziwa ekukopeni ngokweemvakalelo, ngubani okopela ngakumbi, amadoda okanye abafazi?
Abasetyhini, abakhohlisayo, bahlala betyala imali ngaphezu komnqweno wabo wenyama. Rhoqo kunokuba kunjalo, aba bafazi banonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo nabathandi babo. Amadoda nawo angachaphazeleka ngokweemvakalelo kwaye awunyanzelekanga ukuba ubelane ngesondo ukuze ubizwe ngokuba ungumkhohlisi.
Ukutyala iimvakalelo zothando komnye umntu ongelilo iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho, ukuthanda omnye umntu nokuba uyazi ukuba uya kulilimaza iqabane lakho sele kuyindlela yokukhohlisa.
3. Ukukopa kwi-Intanethi
Kweminye, oku akuyi kuthathelwa ingqalelo njengokukopa kodwa utyale ingqalelo, iimvakalelo zakho kunye nexesha lokuncokola nokudlala ngothando nomntu othile, ukubukela iphonografi, ukujoyina indawo zokuthandana "ukuzonwabisa" ayizizo izizathu ezifanelekileyo.
Le iseyindlela yokuqhatha, nokuba ungasenza ntoni na kwezi zenzo.
Ukuqonda imeko - amanani 'okukopela'
Yikholwe okanye ungakholelwa, amanani atshintshile- kakhulu! Ngokwezibalo, ngubani okopela ngaphezulu, amadoda okanye abafazi?
Masambe nzulu. Ngokusekwe kwidatha yakutshanje evela kuPhando oluBanzi lwezeNtlalontle e-U.S., Ngubani okopela ngakumbi, amanani abantu ababhinqileyo okanye abesifazana abonakalisile ukuba yayi malunga ne-20% yamadoda kwaye phantse i-13% yabasetyhini bavunyelwe ukuba babenemicimbi engaphandle komtshato.
Nangona kunjalo, njengesibhengezo esichazayo, kufuneka siqonde ukuba ezi nkcukacha-manani zixhomekeke kubantu abazimiseleyo ukuthatha inxaxheba.
Uninzi lwamaxesha, ngakumbi nabasetyhini, ngekhe bakulungele ukuvuma ukuba bayakopa. Inqaku apha kukuba namhlanje, kokubini amadoda nabasetyhini bayakwazi ukukopela kodwa ukhe uzibuze ukuba ingaba abantu basetyhini ngoku baba ndlongondlongo kangakanani malunga nemicimbi engaphandle komtshato namhlanje ngokungafaniyo ngaphambili apho ukucinga ngokudlala ngothando namanye amadoda sele kusisono.
Izizathu zokuba amanani atshintshile
Usenokuzibuza ukuba ngubani okopela ngakumbi amadoda okanye amabhinqa kwiziphumo zokufunda aphume elingana phakathi kwamadoda nabafazi. Kukothuse kakhulu kwabanye ukuba abantu basetyhini ngoku bavulekile ekuthetheni ngemicimbi ngaphambili, oku kunokubangela ibala elinzima nentiyo kubo bonke abantu.
Inye into ebalulekileyo ethathelwa ingqalelo apha sisizukulwana sethu sangoku.
Kuyinyani ukuba isizukulwana sethu namhlanje sinenkalipho ngakumbi kwaye sinesibindi. Bayayazi into abayifunayo kwaye abayi kuvumela isini, ubuhlanga, kunye nobudala ukuba babone ukuba banokwenza okanye bangakwazi ukwenza ntoni. Kungenxa yoko le nto ukuba bekwibudlelwane, baya kukhuseleka ngakumbi kwaye baya kulwela nelungelo labo lokuba nantoni na enokwenziwa yindoda-banokwenza ngcono.
Ngubani okopela ngakumbi, amadoda okanye abafazi? Ixesha litshintshile kwaye nendlela esicinga ngayo itshintshe kakhulu. Ukuba ngaphambili, ukudlala ngothando ngokulula kunokukwenza uzive unetyala, namhlanje iimvakalelo ezichaziweyo ziyonwabisa kwaye zinomlutha.
Kufana nokuba siyazi ukuba ayilunganga kodwa umnqweno wokuyenza iba nkulu njengoko kungavumelekanga.
Ngubani okopela ngakumbi, angamadoda okanye amabhinqa?
Ukwazi ukuba ngubani onako ukukopa akuyonto unokuba neqhayiya ngayo. Ngapha koko, iyothusa kuba asisakuboni ukubaluleka nobungcwele bomtshato. Asisaboni ukuba ungcwele kangakanani umanyano phakathi kwabantu ababini othandweni, into esiyibonayo yimincili kunye nemvakalelo yokulutha.
Ke ngubani okopela ngaphezulu, amadoda okanye abafazi? Okanye ngaba sobabini sinetyala lesi sono singazukumosha nje umtshato wethu kodwa nosapho lwethu? Uphononongo lubonakalisile ukuba isimilo sokungathembeki phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini siyafana. Amadoda ahlala ebandakanyeka ekuziphatheni ngokwesini kunye nabasetyhini ngakumbi ekuziphatheni ngokweemvakalelo. Ezinye iziphumo ezivela kolu phando zezi zilandelayo:
- Bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini bafuna uthando, ukuqonda, kunye nokuqwalaselwa kubudlelwane bangaphandle komtshato
- Basengozini enkulu yokuqhatha ukuba baziva bengakhuselekanga
- Bayakopela kuba abafumani manqanaba anelisayo okuqwalaselwa kunye nokusondelelana kumaqabane abo
- Abasetyhini kunokwenzeka ngakumbi ukuba bafune into yokugcwalisa ukungonwabi kwabo ngokweemvakalelo okanye bazive benqweneleka ngakumbi ngokuba neentlobano zesini kodwa ukoneliseka ngokwesondo nako kunokuba yinto.
- Banokubona ukuthandana njengendlela yokuphelisa umtshato wabo ukuba baziva bevalelekile.
- Kwizibini ezitshatileyo, abantu basetyhini kunokwenzeka ukuba baqalise uqhawulo-mtshato kwaye bonwabe emva koko
Ukuphinda wakhe ubudlelwane emva kokuba wophulwe ngumtshato akunakuze kube lula.
Ithemba, lakube laphukile alunakulungiswa ngokulula. Eyona nto imbi kukuba baninzi abantu abazakuhlupheka ngenxa yale mpazamo. Ewe ukukopa kuyimpazamo nokuba zithini izizathu zakho. Ke, ngaphambi kokuzifaka kule meko-cinga.
Ukhohliswe phi okanye awukho okanye ukuba nguwe okhohlisileyo. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba asekhona amathuba wesibini kodwa masiqiniseke ukuba asichithi la mathuba.
Ngubani okopela ngakumbi, amadoda okanye abafazi? Ngubani ofanelwe lithuba lesibini? Ngubani omele abekwe ityala? Musa ukulinda ixesha lokuba ubuze le nto ngokwakho kwaye ungalindi ukuba ube neentloni kuba uye waba buthathaka ngaxa lithile.
Bobabini abesilisa nabasetyhini banakho ukuba nolwalamano kwaye ayisiyiyo le nto kufuneka ibalwe, kunokuba kukuzeyisa kunye nokuziphatha onako njengomntu kuya kuba nakho.