Yintoni ukuxhalaba ngobuhlobo kwaye unokuhlangabezana njani nayo?

Umbhali: Monica Porter
Umhla Wokudalwa: 15 Eyokwindla 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 27 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Yintoni ukuxhalaba ngobuhlobo kwaye unokuhlangabezana njani nayo? - I-Psychology
Yintoni ukuxhalaba ngobuhlobo kwaye unokuhlangabezana njani nayo? - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Ukuxhalaba ekuqaleni kobudlelwane kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Akunakuze kusongelwe ukuqala ubudlelwane! Kodwa yintoni uxinzelelo kubudlelwane?

Ukuxhalaba ubudlelwane kuyenzeka ngelixa uthandana kuba uzibuza ukuba ingaba umntu omthanda kangaka uza kuvela ngendlela onethemba lokuba babe ngayo kwaye uqala ukuzibuza ukuba uza kuba nakho na ukuhlangabezana nolindelo lwabo ngokunjalo.

Xa ungamazi umntu ongaphandle ngaphandle kwaye uthatha isigqibo sokuba awuzukukwakha ikamva kunye, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba ufumane uxinzelelo kubudlelwane.

Ngelixa kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba novalo xa unxibelelana nomntu omthandayo, unxunguphalo kunye nobudlelwane abuhlangani ngokukodwa, ngakumbi kwisigaba sokuqala sokuthandana ... Kwaye ayisiyonto imbi leyo! Ngapha koko, ukuthanda ixhala, ukuziva amabhabhathane amaphiko ephephezela esiswini sakho kwenza ukuthandana kube mnandi kwaye kube nomtsalane.


Kodwa, kukho icala elibi kuxinzelelo. Xa ucinga ukuba ixhala lonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho kwaye uqala ukuziva unganqabisekanga kangangokuba awukwazi ukusebenza kakuhle, inokuba luphawu lokuba ufumana amaxabiso amabi oxinzelelo lonxibelelwano olunokuthi lube nefuthe kwimpumelelo yobudlelwane bakho!

Xa uqala ukuthandabuza iqabane lakho, ngokwakho kwaye uqala ukucinga ngezinto ezinje ngokuthatha uxinzelelo kovavanyo, inokuba lixesha lokufumana uncedo ekulawuleni iingcinga zakho kunye noloyiko lokugcina ubudlelwane bakho.

Unxunguphalo lobudlelwane okanye uxinzelelo kubudlelwane ngumba wokwenyani abantu abalwa nawo. Ayiluloyiko nje lokuzibophelela kodwa luxinzelelo lwangempela kunye noxinzelelo oluvela nakweliphi na inqanaba lobudlelwane.

Olu xinzelelo lunokuthintela ubomi bothando nokuba umntu ojamelene noxinzelelo angathanda ukufumana uthando. Elona candelo lililo kukuba, inokuthi ikhule ngakumbi njengoko ubudlelwane bezothando buba bukhulu ngakumbi.


Ingqondo inzima kakhulu kwaye ezinye iingqondo zisabela gwenxa kwenye yezona zinto zimnandi ebomini: uthando. Endaweni yokuthatha wonke umzuzu, abo banengxaki yokuxhalaba bathwaxwa kukukhathazeka, uloyiko, ukuthandabuza kunye nokungazithembi.

Ukuba oku kuchaza wena, ngokuqinisekileyo awuwedwa. Uyakufumana impendulo yendlela yokufumana uxinzelelo kubudlelwane kumacandelo angezantsi.

Kodwa ngaphambi kokutsiba kwimfuno yoku indlela yokujongana noxinzelelo lobudlelwane Kuya kufuneka uyiqonde imiqondiso, iimpawu kunye noonobangela bemicimbi yoxinzelelo.

Ulwalamano lweempawu zoxinzelelo

Abo banolwalamano oluxhalabileyo banokufumana uluhlu lweempawu, zonke ezinokuthi zonakalise ubudlelwane bezothando. Makhe siye kwezinye zeempawu eziqhelekileyo:

  1. Ukoyika ukugwetywa liqabane: Abo banexhala elinxulumene nolwalamano banokuba nokuzithemba okuphantsi. Ngenxa yokuzithemba okuphantsi, boyika isigwebo esibi kumaqabane abo. Ngokungafaniyo nabanye, ukubona isigwebo esibi rhoqo kuya kuthatha umthwalo omkhulu kwabo banalo mbandela.
  2. Uloyiko lokushiywa liqabane: Oku kuya kuba kukugatywa kokugqibela kwaye kuqinise uloyiko.
  3. Ukoyika ukusondelelana: Ukuba semngciphekweni ngokweemvakalelo kubonisa ubunzima. Iimpawu zoxinzelelo zothando zibonakaliswa kukoyika ukusondelelana.
  4. Imfuneko: Soloko ufuna ukuba phakathi kweqabane lakho kunye nesidingo sothando oluqhubekayo.


  1. Ukubangela ungquzulwano kubudlelwane xa yonke into ihamba kakuhle: Oku kukwabizwa ngokuba kukuziphatha ngokutsala. Emva kokubangela ukungqubana abo banengxaki yoxinzelelo bakhuthaza ukusondela. Ukubuya nokubuya kuhlala kuqinisa iimvakalelo zomntu zoxinzelelo kwaye kunokubenza nzima ubudlelwane babo.
  2. Ikhwele elingafanelekanga: Olu luhlobo olugqithisileyo lomona olugqitha nje ekugadeni ubudlelwane obabuxabisayo. Ukuba uliqabane lomtshato okanye uneqabane elineengxaki zokuxhalaba kunye nomsindo, kunokuba ngenxa yomona ongafanelekanga.
  3. Ndiziva ndinyanzelekile ukuvavanya iqabane lakho: Oku kwenziwa ngelinge lokuvavanya uthando kunye nokuzibophelela kweqabane. Ukuphumelela kuvavanyo kusebenza njengokuqinisekisa.
  4. Ukungazinzi ngokweemvakalelo: Oku kunokuba ngendlela yokonyuka kosizi, ukungxamiseka, ukuba nochuku okanye umsindo.
  5. Isidingo sokuqinisekiswa rhoqo: Abo banolu hlobo loxinzelelo bafuna ukuqinisekiswa ukuze banciphise iimvakalelo ezimbi kodwa iziphumo zezokwexeshana.
  6. Ukuzikhusela okungafunekiyo: Ukuziphatha okungalunganga kunokuzibonakalisa ngenxa yoxinzelelo olukhulu.
  7. Ukuxhalaba: Ukuhlaselwa ngamaxhala kunokubakho ngenxa yokugcwala ziingcinga neemvakalelo ezingalunganga.
  8. Ukurhoxa eluntwini: Ukutya kakhulu kwaye uxhalabele ubudlelwane bezothando kunokubangela ukuba umntu ashiye abanye abasondeleyo kubo.
  9. Ukungathembi: Ukungakwazi ukuthembela kwiqabane elithandanayo elibangelwa kukukhathazeka okungafunekiyo kokungcatshwa.
  10. Ukungakwazi ukulala: Ukukhathazeka kunokuchaphazela ukujikeleza.
  11. Ukuncipha kwesondo: Esi sisiphumo esithe ngqo soxinzelelo olubangelwa luxinzelelo kubudlelwane.

Ezi ziimpawu ezibonisa indlela uxinzelelo olonakalisa ngayo ubudlelwane. Babangela iintanda kubudlelwane kwaye ekugqibeleni bayitshabalalise yonke into eniyakhe kunye.

Oonobangela bolwalamano

Njengezinye iindlela zoxinzelelo, unxunguphalo olunxulunyaniswa nolwalamano lunonobangela oyintloko. Oku kunokuba yiyo nantoni na yokwenzakala kubudlelwane obudlulileyo kwaye inokubuyela ebuntwaneni.

Mhlawumbi bekukho ukungabikho kothando ekhayeni okanye uloyiko lokuba sesichengeni ngokweemvakalelo eziphuhliswe ngenxa yokuvezwa kubudlelwane obubi kwasekuqaleni.

Nangona iyinyani, imiba kulwalamano lwangoku njengokuthandabuza ubudlelwane kunokubangela uxinzelelo. Nantoni na evela ekuphulukaneni nokuthenjwa kwindlela abantu ababini abanxibelelana ngayo inokubangela ingxaki.

Ungajongana njani nomntu onexhala?

Ngethamsanqa, ukungafezeki kubudlelwane kungasuswa ngokuthatha amanyathelo ayimfuneko okuphucula.

Oku kunokwenziwa ngokumisela ukuthembana okungakumbi, kuqinisekiswe ukuba iimfuno zomlingane ziyafezekiswa, kusenziwa iinzame zokuphepha ulwimi olubi kubudlelwane kwaye, ngokuqhubekekayo besebenza ekuphuculeni unxibelelwano.

Ngoku, ungamisa njani uxinzelelo kubudlelwane? Ngolwazi malunga Ungasusa njani uxinzelelo kubudlelwane, kufuneka ufumane uncedo.

Uhlangabezana njani noxinzelelo kubudlelwane-Fumana uncedo

Nangona unxunguphalo lobuhlobo ayisosifo sisemthethweni, kukho uncedo kwabo banengxaki. Eyona ndlela yokuqalisa ukujongana noxinzelelo lobudlelwane kukuzinceda.

Uyaziqonda ngcono, ke zibophelele ekuthatheni ixesha lokusebenza ngokwakho. Uninzi lufumana iindlela zokunciphisa uxinzelelo ziluncedo.

Elinye icebo eliluncedo ngokwamkelekileyo. Ukunciphisa ixhala lakho, kufuneka ulamkele.Ngokwamkela ingxaki yakho, uya uhambelana nengqondo yakho ngakumbi ngakumbi, umjikelo wakho wokucinga.

Ukuphefumla okunzulu, nangona kungakhathalelwanga, sisincoko esihle sokufumana la maxesha anzima. Ukuthatha uthotho lokuphefumla okunzulu kukhuthaza umzimba ukuba ukhululeke.

Esinye isicwangciso esisebenzayo se ukoyisa uxinzelelo kubudlelwane ichasene neengcinga zakho ezizaliswe luxinzelelo. Ukuphuhlisa amandla okwazi xa ingqondo yakho idlala amaqhinga kuwe linyathelo elifanelekileyo.

Xa iingcinga ezimbi ziqala ukungena, buza ezo ngcinga kunokuba uzivumele ukuba ungene kubo. Kuya kufuneka uzityand 'igila kwiqabane lakho kwaye ubazise ukuba unamaxhala kubudlelwane.

Kumntu ohlala nomntu oxhalabileyo kufuneka aqonde ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukunika ingqiniseko kubudlelwane.

Abo bafuna uncedo olongezelelekileyo ngoxinzelelo kubudlelwane kufuneka bakuthathele ingqalelo ukubona ingcali.

Njengonxunguphalo, lukhona unxunguphalo lobuhlobo olukhoyo. Unokuphathwa ngokucebisa kwaye kwiimeko ezigqithiseleyo, unyango.

Xa naluphi na uhlobo loxinzelelo luqala ukuphazamisa ubomi bemihla ngemihla kwaye kuba nzima ukulusebenzisa, ungaze ube madolw 'anzima ukufumana uncedo.

Ubudlelwane bunzima kwaye sonke sineengxaki zethu, uloyiko, amathandabuzo, kunye nokungazithembi kodwa akufuneki ziluthintele uthando.