Yintoni i-Trauma Bonding? Ungayiqonda njani kwaye uyiPhule iiBond eziManyumnyezi

Umbhali: Monica Porter
Umhla Wokudalwa: 22 Eyokwindla 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Yintoni i-Trauma Bonding? Ungayiqonda njani kwaye uyiPhule iiBond eziManyumnyezi - I-Psychology
Yintoni i-Trauma Bonding? Ungayiqonda njani kwaye uyiPhule iiBond eziManyumnyezi - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Ngaba wakha wanomhlobo owayesebudlelwaneni obonakala buhlukumeza? Mhlawumbi ubukunye kwaye wakufumanisa kunzima ukwahlukana neqabane lakho. Isenokuba oku kubangelwe kukukhathazeka okufumene wena okanye ngenxa yomdibaniso womothuko.

Ukufumana ngakumbi malunga nokuba zeziphi iibhondi zengozi kwaye unokwenza ntoni ngazo, qhubeka ufunda eli nqaku.

Yintoni ukudibanisa umothuko?

Umothuko unokwenzeka ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo, ezinje ngeziganeko ezoyikisayo okanye ezoyikisayo okanye xa ufumana ubundlobongela. Oku kuhambelana nemigca efanayo kunye nokudibanisa umngcipheko.

Olu hlobo lokudibana lwenzeka xa udibana nomntu okuhlukumezayo. Oku akwenzeki nje ngamaqabane othando; Inokwenzeka kwakhona namalungu osapho okanye abahlobo beplato.

Ngokusisiseko, ukuba unobudlelwane nomntu kwaye uyakuphatha gadalala, le yinto ebuhlungu.


Nangona kunjalo, xa olu hlobo lokuziphatha luqhubeka kangangexesha elithile, unokuzibona ungakwazi ukuqaphela ukuba uyaxhatshazwa kwaye ucinga ukuba yindlela umntu abonisa ngayo uthando.

Umntu okuhlukumezayo uya kukuqinisekisa ukuba izinto abazenzayo ziqhelekile okanye zilungile ngokugqibeleleyo, kanti akunjalo.

Oku kunokubangela ukuba ixhoba licinge ukuba bacinga impatho-mbi, kwaye kungathatha ixesha ukuqonda ukuba impatho-gadalala iyenzeka ngenene.

Umzekelo, ukuba unayo iqabane elingenzi nto ngaphandle kokukubiza ngamagama kwaye lithethe kakubi ngawe, kwaye uyiqhelile le nto, apho ufuna ukuba bathethe ngawe nangona oko kunokuchaphazela ukuzithemba kwakho.

Kwimeko apho, unokuba ufumana ukunamathela okubuhlungu kulo mntu, okungenampilo.

Ukubopha umothuko kunokubakho kubudlelwane bokujikeleza, apho iipateni ezifanayo zivela rhoqo.

Imiba yomngcipheko wokudibana nomothuko


Nazi izinto ezinobungozi bokuzibophelela, ekufuneka uyazi. Umntu onezi mpawu unokufumana ulwalamano olomeleleyo.

  • Abantu abaneembono eziphantsi ngeziqu zabo.
  • Abantu abanexabiso eliphantsi.
  • Abo babekhe baba nobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo ngaphambili okanye babenengxaki yomtshato.
  • Umntu ongenabahlobo okanye usapho olunokubala.
  • Abo baye bangcungcuthekiswa ebomini babo.
  • Umntu onemicimbi yempilo yengqondo.
  • Umntu onokufuna inkxaso yemali.

Iimpawu zebondi yomothuko

Kukho iindlela ezimbalwa zokuxelela ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo une-trauma bond nomnye umntu.

1. Uyayityeshela into ethethwa lusapho lwakho

Xa amalungu osapho lwakho kunye nabahlobo bakuxelela ukuba kukho into engalunganga kwiqabane lakho kwaye uyabahoya, oku kunokuthetha ukuba ufumana ukonzakala kulwalamano lwakho.

Ukuba uyayityeshela ingcebiso yabo, nokuba uyazi ukuba bayinyani kwaye iimpikiswano zabo zisemthethweni, kuya kufuneka ucinge malunga nokuba uyayinyamezela na intlalontle ebopha umothuko.


2. Uyaluchaza uxhatshazo olo

Kukho iindidi ngeendidi zoxhatshazo kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, kwaye unokuba ukujongile okwenzekayo kuwe.

Xa uzixelela ukuba akukho nto imbi okanye ungayihoyi impatho-mbi ohlangabezana nayo, kungenzeka ukuba uhamba nentlungu yokudibana neentlungu ekufuneka zijongiwe.

3. Uziva ngathi ubatyala okuthile

Ngamanye amaxesha, umntu oxhatshazwayo uziva ngathi unetyala lomxhaphazi wakhe. Oku kusenokwenzeka ukuba bahlala nabo okanye amaqabane abo ahlawula amatyala abo okanye ayabathenga.

Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba akukho sizathu sokuba umntu akuphathe gadalala, nokuba angakunika ntoni na.

4. Ucinga ukuba lityala lakho

Unokuziva ngathi wenze into ngaphambili ukuze uqinisekise indlela oziphethe ngayo kwiqabane lakho. Kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba oku akunjalo.

Ubudlelwane bunikiwe kwaye bufunyenwe, ke nokuba uthe wangxola ngaphambili, iqabane lakho kufuneka likwazi ukukuxolela kwaye uqhubeke.

5. Usoyika ukushiya ubudlelwane

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba usoyika ukushiya ubudlelwane, oku kungabonisa ukuba ujongene nokudibana nomothuko.

Ngamanye amaxesha, umntu unokoyika ubomi bakhe kwaye angashiyi imeko eyingozi.

6. Unethemba lokuba izinto ziya kutshintsha

Nokuba uhlala kangakanani kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, ungaziva ngathi izinto ziya kuba ngcono kwaye zitshintshe.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba iqabane lakho libonakalisile ukuba akukho njalo, kuya kufuneka uthembeke kwisiqu sakho malunga noko unokukulindela.

Kutheni le nto isenzeka

Xa kuziwa kwithiyori yokudibanisa umothuko, zininzi izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba ukubopha umothuko kwenzeka.

Enye kukuba ingqondo yomntu inokuba likhoboka lezinto, ezinokuthi zenzeke ngokukhawuleza kwabanye abantu.

Oku kufanelekile kuba nokuba umxhaphazi uthetha iipesenti ezingama-95 zexesha, ngamanye amaxesha zizinto ingqondo yakho enokuthi ijolise kuzo kwaye zikunike ulonwabo.

Oku kukugcina ufuna inkuthazo engakumbi kumxhaphazi lowo wakho, nokuba oku kunqabile.

Esinye isizathu sokubopha umothuko ngenxa yempendulo yoxinzelelo, ekwabizwa ngokuba kukulwa okanye ukuphendula ngenqwelomoya. Iziganeko zoxinzelelo okanye ezibangela uxinzelelo kunokubangela le mpendulo.

Ukuba ufumana le mpendulo rhoqo, inokubangela ukuba ungakwazi ukusabela ngokufanelekileyo. Ngamanye amagama, unganikezela ngokuzama ukulwa okanye ubaleke ngenxa yokuphathwa gadalala oye wakunyamezela.

Umntu angaphila kwimeko yoxinzelelo rhoqo, apho athi abe nexesha elinzima ngakumbi ukuqaphela ukuba uyahlukunyezwa.

Ungayiqhawula njani ibhondi

Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba kukho iindlela zokoyisa umothuko. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uqhubeke ukuyinyamezela, kwaye ungaqala ukuphilisa, ukuze ukwazi ukugqitha kwintlungu yakho. Nazi iindlela ezimbalwa onokukwenza ngazo oku.

1. Yaphule umjikelo wentlungu

Ukuba uye waxhatshazwa, yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuze ungonzakalisi nabani na, kwaye uqiniseke ukuba abantwana bakho nabo abaphathwa gadalala. Eli inokuba linyathelo elikhulu lokumisa umjikelo.

2. Fumana iingcebiso

Thetha nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho malunga noko bacinga ukuba kufanele ukwenze. Amathuba kukuba, nokuba ubekwe wedwa kwaye awukwazanga ukufikelela kwabo basondeleyo kuwe, baya kukulungela ukukunceda.

Xa uthetha nabantu obathembayo kwaye ubabuze ingcebiso, uya kuba neendawo ezininzi zokujonga onokuthi uziqwalasele, ukuze uthathe isigqibo sokuba kukulungele ntoni.

3. Cinga ngento onokuyithetha

Kuya kunceda ukuba nawe ucinga ngobudlelwane bakho ngokuchanekileyo. Ukuba umhlobo wakho okanye ilungu losapho belinamava afanayo nawe, ungabaxelela ukuba benze ntoni? Cinga ngale nto ngelixa usebenza ngendlela yokufumana ukudibana kwengozi.

4. Zihoye

Nje ukuba uqhubeke nokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba uyazikhathalela. Oku kuthetha ukufumana ukuphumla okufanelekileyo, ukutya okunesondlo, ukwenza imithambo, nokwenza izinto ofuna ukuzenza.

Unokucinga ukuba ubhala iingcinga zakho ephepheni okanye wenze ezinye izinto eziphumzisayo ukunceda ingqondo yakho ibuye.

5. Musa ukuba kude nomxhaphazi lowo wakho

Kuya kufuneka ukuba uqhawule ubudlelwane nomntu okuhlukumezileyo ukuze uyeke ukufumana iimpawu zomothuko.

Oku kuthetha lonke unxibelelwano, kwanezinto ezibonakala zingenabungozi, ezinje nge-imeyile okanye imiyalezo ebhaliweyo.

Ngaba ufuna ukufunda okungakumbi malunga nokwaphula izibophelelo zoxinzelelo? Bukela le vidiyo:

Ukufumana kwakhona ukuxhatshazwa

Kungangcono ukuba nawe wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuba uphinde uchache ekuphatheni gadalala okwenzileyo. Nje ukuba uphilise umonzakalo wobundlobongela basekhaya, unokuthintela ukuba ube kolu hlobo lobudlelwane kwixesha elizayo.

Cinga ngokuya kunyango ukukunceda ufumane izixhobo ozifunayo ukuze usebenze ngokudibanisa umothuko kunye nayo yonke enye into obuphila kuyo phakathi kobudlelwane bakho.

Umgqirha uya kuba nakho ukukunika iindlela ezininzi zokuziqesha ezinokukunceda usebenze ngoxinzelelo kunye nezinye iimvakalelo ekufuneka usebenze kuzo.

Banokukwazi nokuthetha nawe malunga nendlela yokuqhawula uxinzelelo lwengozi, ngakumbi ukuba woyika ukuba ngekhe ungenziwa kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku.

Kubalulekile ukuba uzikhathalele, kubandakanya impilo yakho yengqondo kunye nokuba sempilweni, xa ucinga ukuba unyamezele umothuko wokubopha. Olu hlobo lobudlelwane lunokuthatha ixesha elide ukuphola, kwaye kunokuba nzima ukwenza wedwa.

Ugqirha unokukuxelela nangamaqela enkxaso, anokuba luncedo kuwe kuba uya kudibana nabantu abadlule kumava afanayo. Banokukwazi ukunika iingcebiso kwaye bakuncede ngezixhobo.

Ucwangcisa njani ukhuseleko lwakho?

Enye into ekufuneka uyenzile kukucwangcisa ukhuseleko lwakho emva kokushiya ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo. Le yenye indawo apho ugqirha anokukunceda umisele ikhondo lakho lesenzo.

Isicwangciso sokhuseleko sinokufuneka xa uzama ukuphuma kubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo okanye ufuna ukukhuselwa kwiqabane lakho.

Izicwangciso ezilungileyo zokhuseleko zinoluhlu lweendawo onokuya kuzo apho uya kukhuseleka khona kwaye ube nezinto ozifunayo. Iya kubandakanya isicwangciso sakho sekamva, njengohlobo lomsebenzi oza kuwenza, indawo oza kuya kuyo, kunye nendawo oza kuhlala kuyo.

Ukongeza, kuya kufuneka uqale ukubhala phantsi imicimbi yolwalamano lwakho, ngakumbi ukuba kukho iingxelo zamapolisa okanye izehlo apho kuye kwafuneka ukuba uye esibhedlele.

Kuya kufuneka ugcine bonke ubungqina bakho kwindawo ekhuselekileyo xa kunokwenzeka unxibelelane nokunyanzeliswa komthetho, okanye uphelele kumlo wokugcina abantwana bakho.

Oku akukho lula ukucinga ngako, kodwa kunokuba yimfuneko, kwaye kunokukunika ithemba lokuba uya kuba nakho ukuqhubeka nobomi. Oku kunokukunceda ngokudibanisa umothuko kunye nendlela yokuqhawula iqhina.

Zama kwakhona: Ngaba ukuBudlelwane obuhlukumezayo?

Ungalufumana nini uncedo

Xa uziva ngathi uxhatshaziwe okanye ulixhoba lokophuka, kufuneka ufune uncedo. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba ukulungele ukuphuma kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku.

Akukho luvavanyo lwebhendi yomothuko, kodwa ukuba uphethwe kakubi kwaye ufuna ukutshintsha, kuya kufuneka wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukutshintsha iimeko zakho.

Oku kunokuthetha ukushiya imeko, ukufumana unyango, okanye ukuza nesicwangciso sokulungisa ubomi bakho bonke.

Gcina ukhumbula ukuba uyaxhatshazwa, nangaliphi na ixesha lixesha elifanelekileyo lokufuna uncedo!

Kuza kukunceda ukuba uye wafikelela kunyango xa ucinga ukuba uyalufuna. Kukho izixhobo ezinje ngeNombolo yeSizwe yokuXhatshazwa kwabaSebenzi baseKhaya enokukunceda kwiimeko ezingxamisekileyo.

Isiphelo

Ukudityaniswa komothuko kunokwenzeka nakubani na, kodwa izinto ezithile zomngcipheko zenza ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba zibekho ebomini bakho. Ewe kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba wenze into engalunganga kwaye kufanelekile ukuphathwa kakubi.

Nanini na xa uxhatshazwa okanye uphethwe kakubi, kuya kufuneka wazi ukuba kukho uncedo olukhoyo kwaye ungalwenza utshintsho ukuba uyafuna. Nje ukuba uqaphele ukuba uyaphathwa gadalala, yenza konke okusemandleni ukushiya imeko kwaye uyeke ukuzithethelela ngale mpatho ingenantlonipho.

Ukophula olu hlobo lwebhondi kunokuba nzima kwaye kuthathe ixesha, kodwa kufanelekile, ukuze uqhubeke nobomi kwaye wonwabe. Bala abanye xa ufuna kwaye uthathe inyathelo elilandelayo xa sele ukulungele.