Umxholo
- 1. Sukubhenela kwizinto eziqhelekileyo
- 2. Mamela, Ngokwenene
- 3. Musa ukuzikhusela
- 4. Cinga ngokujonga ngenye indlela
- 5. Kunqande ukubonisa indelelo kwiqabane lakho
Akukho kuqhekeka kulula. Xa kufikwa kumba woqhawulo-mtshato, izinto zinokuba nzima kancinci. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba bobabini abantu bafuna, banokuhlala bezilungisa izinto ngoxolo. Kodwa kukho iimeko apho izibini ziye zadibana kwaye ziqhubekeke ngokungalunganga. Ngeemeko zoqhawulo mtshato oluphakamileyo, elinye iqabane kufuneka ligcine ukuzimela kwaye liqhubeke nemicimbi esemthethweni ejongene noxolo.
Unxibelelwano lubalulekile.
Kwiimeko zokuvavanya, akukho sixhobo silunge ngakumbi kunxibelelwano. Uqhawulo mtshato oluphakamileyo alunakuze lube lula kuwo omabini amaqabane. Kungenxa yokuba omabini amaqabane acinga kwaye azive elungile kwaye engazimisele ukucinga ngokwembono yomnye umntu. Kungoko kungcono ukuba ufune ingcebiso kwezomthetho kwaye wenze ngokufanelekileyo. Ngale nto, izibini kufuneka zidibanise izandla nefemu yomthetho wosapho ukuze iinkqubo zoqhawulo mtshato zenziwe ngokuchanekileyo.
Kuqhawulo mtshato oluphakamileyo, iqabane lakho liba lutshaba lwakho! Uyakubafumana ukuba bahlale bexhalabile kuphela ngezinto abanomdla kuzo, ezingayi kufana nezakho. Unokuziva uhlaselwa amaxesha ngamaxesha. Kwaye kwezi meko, unokubona oku kulandelayo:
- Ukukhawuleza kokutshintsha kwe-adrenaline okuya kukwenza ulahlekelwe ngumdla wokutya kwaye uzive ungonwabanga.
- Ukungakwazi ukugxila kweminye imicimbi.
- Uyadinwa ngumsindo kwaye uphonononge abantu abangakufanelanga.
- Uthatha inxaxheba kwi-vortex yokuthetha kakubi, enokwenza izinto zibe ngumceli mngeni kubomi bakho bobuchwephesha kunye nobomi bobuqu.
Ukuba udibana nawo onke la manqaku akhankanywe apha ngasentla, yazi ukuba impendulo enjalo iyakuthatha ixesha ukuba isonjululwe kwimeko yakho yoqhawulo mtshato. Yiyo loo nto yamkele kwaye uqiniseke ukuba unabanye abantu abanokukuthuthuzela.
Iingcebiso ezimbalwa malunga nendlela yokusinda kuqhawulo mtshato:
Unako ukuhlala usebenza kwaye ulandele ezinye iingcebiso ezifanelekileyo zokuqhawula umtshato kuyo yonke imiceli mngeni yoqhawulo mtshato. Thetha negqwetha lomthetho wosapho onokuthi uthembele kulo kwaye uzame ukufumana iindlela ezimbalwa zokuzikhusela ngelixa ulungiselela ukuqhawula umtshato:
- Musa ukufumana nayiphi na ileta eza ngaphandle kwempendulo engayilwanga kunye.
- Sukuyikhuphela i-imeyile kumyeni / kumfazi wakho, okt malunga nokuza kubakho.
- Sukuthatha isigqibo esibalulekileyo malunga nokugcinwa komntwana kunye nemali ngaphandle kobukho begqwetha lakho.
Kuhlala kungcono ukuba udibane negqwetha lakho ngalo naluphi na unxibelelwano ekufuneka ulwenzile neqabane lakho ngelixa nina nobabini niya kuqhawula umtshato ukunqanda nakuphi na ukungqubana okungalindelekanga kuqhawulo mtshato. Ngale ndlela, unokuqinisekisa ukuba awukhohliswanga okanye uqhathwe xa sele ukulungele ukuqhawula umtshato. Qiniseka ukuba awusayini naluphi na uxwebhu xa ushukunyiswa yiyo nayiphi na ingcinga okanye unomsindo kwaye ulusizi. Thatha ixesha lokufunda imigaqo kunye neemeko ngaphambi kokuba ungene kwiphepha. Olona khetho lufanelekileyo lokuba iifemu zosapho lubonise ukuba abantu abatshatileyo baya kuqhawulo-mtshato oluphezulu kukujonga ukuvalwa kwemali.
Ngenxa yoko, oko kuthetha ukuba, izibini kufuneka zikhethe i-FDR (isisombululo seNgxabano yezeMali). Kukho isidingo somntu wesithathu ongathathi hlangothi, okt, igqwetha okanye ijaji, eya kuthi ive izindululo ezivela kuwo omabini amaqabane kwaye icebise esona sisombululo sisiso sendlela yokulungiselela ukuqhawula umtshato. Esi sisombululo siyinto evavanywa ngononophelo yijaji kwaye ayinyanzeli ukuba esi sibini siqhawule uqhawulo mtshato.
1. Sukubhenela kwizinto eziqhelekileyo
Xa wena neqabane lakho nixoxa ngeengxaki ezithile ezinxulumene noqhawulo-mtshato, imeko yetyala isebenza kakuhle kuni nobabini. Xa usebenzisa iingxelo ezinje "awuzange uyenze le nto", okanye "uhlala usenza le nto", ingqumbo idla ngokwanda, kwaye incoko ingaphuma ngokukhawuleza. Kungcono ukujongana nezinto ngobuzaza, ngokuzisa izehlo ezizodwa apho uziva ukuba bebenokuhoya ngakumbi okanye bekufanele ukuba bakuncede. Zama ukungazikhuselanga okanye unyanzele umyeni wakho ukuba enze okufanayo.
2. Mamela, Ngokwenene
Elinye lawona maxesha aphazamisayo kubudlelwane kuxa uziva ngathi iqabane lakho alikuniki ingqalelo ekufaneleyo. Ukuba ucinga oko bazama ukukuthetha okanye ngokuqhubekayo ubaphazamise, uya kuthi ubanqande ithuba lokuthetha ngokuzeleyo. Kuya kufuneka ubanike indawo yabo kwaye bakuxelele ukuba baziva njani, nokuba uqinisekile ngento ocinga ukuba bayayithetha.
Umahluko phakathi kokuva nokumamela ulahlekile kwizibini ezininzi, kwaye unokwenza okanye uphule ubudlelwane bakho. Ukuba unengxaki yokumamela ngokwendalo, zama ukufunda iindlela zokuphulaphula ezisebenzayo. Ngamathuba, cacisa into abayithethayo ukuze bazi ukuba uhamba ngesantya nabo, kwaye unokucima nakuphi na ukungaqondani. Buza imibuzo- lo mkhuba ubizwa ngokuba kukujonga ukuqonda- ukuqonda ukuba bathini ngokuchanekileyo.
Jonga kwakhona: 7 Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuqhawula umtshato
3. Musa ukuzikhusela
Ukugxekwa akukho lula ukujongana nako, kodwa eyona nto imbi onokuyenza xa ugxekwa liqabane lakho kukubanika indlela yokukhanyela kunye nokuzikhusela ngokubuyisela. Ukuzikhusela akusombululi nayiphi na imeko. Okona kungcono, kuphuma njengesizathu, kwaye iqabane lakho elidanileyo liwuyeke lo mbandela, kwaye, okona kubi, ujike ube yingxoxo egcweleyo. Akukho meko ikhethwayo. Kungangcono ukuba uthintele la mathuba okuqinisekisa ukuba unxibelelwano luvulekile, luthembekile kwaye lubumnene.
4. Cinga ngokujonga ngenye indlela
Ukukrakra ngokungathandabuzekiyo kubi. Yintoni eyenza ubukrakra bubi kukuba bunokuguqula isimilo sakho ngokumangalisayo. Ubukrakra bunokujika omnye umntu, umntu oqiqayo abe ngumntu ocaphuke kakhulu kwaye anomsindo ngemeko yakhe yangoku ebomini kangangokuba kubonakala kunzima ukuyifumana kwakhona. Kuya kunceda ukulawula umsindo wakho kunye nokukhathazeka njengoko uqhubeka nesahluko esitsha kraca. Gxila ekuthatheni umbono wendoda yakho ukunqanda ukuba nomsindo ngelixa uneengxoxo zoqhawulo mtshato.
5. Kunqande ukubonisa indelelo kwiqabane lakho
Kukho imiba yobuzali bokusebenzisana, eyezemali, kunye neemvakalelo ezinokukushiya ucaphukile kwaye udiniwe, uzibuza ukuba izinto zinokuhluka na kwaye ungahamba uqhubeke wonwabe. Elona nyathelo lililo elibi ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato oluphakamileyo kukubonisa ukudelela umntu oza kuba liqabane lakho langaphambili. Amagqabantshintshi athoba isidima kwiqabane lakho. Ngapha koko, kuya kuba ngcono ukuba ukuphephe ukubiza amagama kunye nokuhlekisa. Enye yeengcebiso ezibalulekileyo zoqhawulo-mtshato kukususa ukungazithethi izinto ezinje ngokuncwina okanye ukukhupha amehlo.
Kwividiyo, u-Esther Perel uthetha "ukugxeka okuqhubekayo kunye nokuxabana kunokuziva ngathi kunamandla asezantsi, iimfazwe ezingapheliyo kwaye zikhokelele ekuphelisweni kobudlelwane."
Kulumkele ukungabi nantlonelo xa ufuna ukubonisa imeko ephikisanayo kuqhawulo-mtshato lwakho. Esinye sezona ndlela-qhinga zoqhawulo mtshato ukufikelela kwisivumelwano kunye nokuphelisa umtshato ongasebenziyo.