Umxholo
- Ngubani onetyala lokungasebenzi kakuhle kubudlelwane bothando?
- Siyathanda ukufumana i-scapegoat yokucinezela lonke ityala
- Kulula ukuba lixhoba kunokwamkela ukungasebenzi kakuhle
- Qonda ukuba nobabini ninendima elinganayo ekusebenzeni
Ngaba ukungasebenzi kakuhle kubudlelwane bothando? Ngubani ngokwenene obekek 'ityala? Kwenzeka ngalo lonke ixesha, njengombandela ukungasebenzi kakuhle kubudlelwane bothando kuqheleke kangangokuba sinamazinga aphezulu oqhawulo-mtshato aseMelika. Ukungasebenzi ngokucacileyo kuqala ngendlela ngaphambi kwenkqubo yoqhawulo mtshato.
Ngubani onetyala lokungasebenzi kakuhle kubudlelwane bothando?
Apha sithetha ngokungasebenzi kakuhle kubudlelwane bothando kunye noxanduva oluza xa sizama ukutshintsha iipateni zethu zangoku nezedlulileyo zothando. Ubudlelwane bunzima. Nokuba ungafunda ntoni na kwiimagazini ezithandwayo, iincwadi zokucinga ezilungileyo. Ubudlelwane ngumsebenzi onzima. Ubuncinci ukuba ufuna elungileyo. Njengokuba unomzimba omkhulu ngumsebenzi onzima ngokwenene.
Ke ukuba uku ubudlelwane obunzima, ngubani onetyala lokungasebenzi kakuhle kubomi bakho bothando? Malunga neminyaka emine eyadlulayo, kwafika isibini eofisini yam kuba sasisemngciphekweni woqhawulo mtshato. Umfazi wayechitha imali ngokweemvakalelo, ebakhokelela ekonakaleni ngokwezimali, kwaye umyeni wayesela kakhulu ngeempelaveki ngokuthanda kwakhe.
Siyathanda ukufumana i-scapegoat yokucinezela lonke ityala
Ke bangena bezama ukuqonda ukuba ngubani unobangela wobudlelwane. Ewe, yile nto siyithandayo ukuyenza. Fumana i-Azazeli. Kwaye emva kweeveki ezine ndisebenza kunye, ndafika kubo ngesigqibo esisesinye isiphelo endiza naso kwisibini ngasinye esasilwa nobomi babo bothando. Akukho namnye kuni olixhoba, kwaye akukho namnye kuni oyena nobangela wengxaki.
Bandijonga ngathi ndineentloko ezili-17 000. “Uthetha ukuthini xa usitsho?”, Watsho umfazi. "Inkcitho endiyichithileyo ayiyondawo yakwenza nolwalamano lwethu nokusela kwakhe ngeempelaveki." Le mpendulo ayothusi, kodwa le ndiyithethileyo yabothusa bobabini.
“Mamelani, benineminyaka eli-15 nindawonye, kwaye kangangeminyaka eli-10 kule minyaka ili-15, benikade nidimazekile ngokupheleleyo. Ukungathembani. Ukuzalisa inzondo. Uya kuba nenyanga okanye ezimbini okanye ezintathu zeenyanga njengoko ubundixelele apho izinto bezilungile khona kodwa zineenyanga ezili-12 ngonyaka, into ethetha ukuba iinyanga ezisithoba ezizayo zifunxe. Ngoku lawo ngamazwi akho, hayi awam. Inyaniso ke yeyokuba, nobabini nihlala kunye ixesha elide kubudlelwane obungasebenziyo, ithi nobabini ninoxanduva lwe-50% yokungasebenzi kakuhle enikuvayo ngoku, kwaye naziva ngaphambili. "
Kulula ukuba lixhoba kunokwamkela ukungasebenzi kakuhle
Ukuba abantu ababini abasokolayo eluthandweni, qhubeka nokuhlala ngaphandle kokufikelela kuncedo olunamandla, lwexesha elide, ke bobabini banesiphene ngokulinganayo kwindawo yobudlelwane. Ngoku, ziindaba ezimnandi ezi, kuba awungekhe ukhombe umnwe wakho kwaye ubeke ityala kotywala xa ubenze bakwazi ukuhlala kubudlelwane iminyaka eli-15. Kwangokunjalo, awunakugxeka umntu osebenzisa imali ngokweemvakalelo ochitha iiakhawunti zakho zebhanki, kuba uhlala nabo iminyaka ngeminyaka njengoko bebesenza iziyobisi zabo.
Ngokwenyani yathatha esi sibini, xa ndandiqala ukusebenza nabo nganye kwenye, ezinye iiveki ezine ngaphambi kokuba bayiqonde le nto ndiyithethayo. Kwaye isizathu soko? Kulula kakhulu ukuba lixhoba, ukwenza iprojekthi yokuba ingxaki kulwalamano liqabane, hayi kuthi.
Qonda ukuba nobabini ninendima elinganayo ekusebenzeni
Kodwa mandiphinde ndiyenze le nto kuba kubalulekile ukuba wonke umntu athathe kwaye ayamkele. Ukuba ulwalamano lwexesha elide olungaphilanga, nobabini ninendima elinganayo ekusebenzeni, akukho mntu mbi kunomnye.
Unokuba ulikhoboka lotywala, elihamba nekhowudi eliyoyika ukoyikisa isikhephe kunye nokubeka imida emibi kunye neziphumo.
Unokuba nomntu othe wachitha iimvakalelo, onoxanduva lokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi, okwimeko efanayo, woyika ukusijija isikhephe kunye nokuphelisa ubuhlanya. Kwaye ngoku ndandiqhubeka nokusebenza nezi zibini zingasentla, zaye zatshintsha ngendlela emangalisayo. Igqityiwe yathatha malunga neenyanga ezili-12 zomsebenzi, kodwa bakwazi ukuwusa umsindo, ingqumbo, ubundlobongela kunye nokusola, bamkele ukungasebenzi kwabo kubudlelwane bothando kwaye ekugqibeleni bayibuyisele kwisikwere sokuqala, besempilweni, benembeko nothando. Bekuwufanele umsebenzi, bekufanele umzamo, kwaye nawe ungafumana okufanayo.
Okokugqibela kususwe
Nje ukuba ubeke ixesha eloneleyo kunye nomcebisi, unokufika kwisigqibo sokuba ubudlelwane babunomhla wokuphelelwa lixesha eningawunakanga nobabini, kwaye ngewuwuphelisile kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, kwaye wenza isigqibo ngoku sokuhamba ngentlonipho, ngethemba lokufunda kula mava ukuze ungaphindi. Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, nobabini niyaphumelela ngothando.