Umxholo
- Ukugcina iimfihlo
- Ukuphepha iincoko ezinzima
- Ukuthandana: Ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo
- Ukugcina amanqaku
- Ukubamba ingqumbo
Eyona. Umntu othandana naye. Uthando lobomi bakho.
Yenzekile ekugqibeleni; Ufumene umntu onika ubomi bakho ngakumbi. Uvuka yonke imihla unemincili kuba lolunye usuku oza kulichitha nomntu wakho. Ubuhle, ubudlelwane obunothando zezona zinto zibalulekileyo emhlabeni, ke kufuneka ziphathwe ngononophelo. Nje ukuba uzifumanele ubuhlakani obungunaphakade, kubalulekile ukuba uyigcine iphila kwaye uyihloniphe ubukhulu ebomini bakho. Zininzi izinto onokuzenza ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele kwaye bube nothando, kodwa uluhlu lwezinto ongafanele uzenze ludibene ngakumbi. Ngokuphepha nje izinto ezimbalwa, unokuqiniseka ukuba umntu ovule umnyango kolo lonwabo ebomini bakho akazukuluvala ngesiquphe. Ukuthintela oku kulandelayo okungamkelekanga ekuziphatheni kuya kugcina olo thando, ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo busaphila.
Ukugcina iimfihlo
Esinye seziseko zobudlelwane obomeleleyo kukuthembana. Awudingi ukuba ufunde inqaku okanye ubukele uGqirha Phil ukuze uyazi loo nto. Sonke siyazi kwaye siziva zombini iziphelo zembonakalo yokuthembana.
Xa ukholelwa emntwini kwaye ubathembe ngayo yonke into, luluvo olumangalisayo. Uziva unqabisekile. Uziva ukhathalelwe. Uziva useluxolweni. Isiphelo esichaseneyo nembonakalo sixelela ibali elahlukileyo. Sonke simazi umntu-umhlobo, ilungu losapho, umntu esisebenza naye-esingamthembanga kwaphela. Xa ungathembi mntu, kuya kufuneka unyathele kancinci njengoko unxibelelana nabo. Uyazi ukuba nangawuphi na umzuzu, banokuyikhupha umbhoxo phantsi kwakho, bakushiye wonzakele kwaye ubhencekile.
Ukuze ulwalamano lwakho lusebenze, kufuneka uzibophelele ekumiseni imeko ethembekileyo. Ukuba kukho iimfihlo ozigcina kuwe, udlala umdlalo oyingozi. Nokuba yimali, ubudlelwane, okanye imfihlo yobuqu obambelele kuyo, ulindele ukuba ingcolise umgangatho wolwalamano lwakho. Ukuba ubambelela kuyo ixesha elide, uyazi ukuba awunakuthenjwa, kwaye ngekhe ube yeyona nto ibalaseleyo kulwalamano lwakho. Ukuba imfihlo yakho ityhilwe ngengozi, ubudlelwane bakho obuthembakeleyo neqabane lakho buza kwaphulwa. Akukho fomula iphumeleleyo kumdlalo oyimfihlo.
Ukuphepha iincoko ezinzima
Mhlawumbi ubungafuni ukwabelana ngemfihlo yakho neqabane lakho kuba ingayincoko engathandekiyo. Qikelela ukuba? Okukhona uvumela ixesha elifihlakeleyo ukuba lihlale ixesha elide, kokukhona kuya kuba nzima ukuba incoko ibekho. Kungcono ukuba ujongane nezo ngxoxo zinzima ngaphambili.
Beka iimvakalelo zakho phandle kwaye ube notshintshiselwano olunemfesane kunye neqabane lakho malunga nezinto ekufuneka zitshintshile ukugcina uthando luphila. Ukuba kukho into ekukhathazayo, kuya kufuneka uthathe uxanduva lweemvakalelo kwaye uyibonise ngendlela enobubele. Andikucebisi ukuba uze ne-arhente yesimo sengqondo kunye nokungoneliseki kwingxoxo; Iya kuba nemveliso kuphela xa ulungisa inkxalabo yakho ngendlela exhasa ubudlelwane bakho. Ingqumbo engathethiyo iyityhefu kulwalamano lwakho nayo nayiphi na imfihlo okhetha ukuyigcina. Vulelani izinto kwaye ninyaniseke omnye komnye kungekudala.
Ukuthandana: Ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo
Sonke siyazi ukuba ukuba nolwalamano lomzimba ngelixa ulwalamano olwenziweyo akulunganga. Umgaqo # 1 kwincwadi yesandla yomfazi omnye. Ukuba uzibophelela ekuchitheni ubomi bakho kunye nomntu, ngeeringi kunye nomsitho okanye akunjalo, kunyanzelekile ukuba ukhusele oko kuzinikela kuko konke onako.
Into enokuba yingozi ngaphezu kokuthandana, nangona kunjalo, kukuba luhlobo lweemvakalelo. "Umfazi wakho osebenza naye" okanye "isoka lakho lendlu" linokubonakala njengobuhlobo obungenatyala, kodwa lumka. Ukuba wabelana ngakumbi, ukhathalele ngakumbi, kwaye ubonakalisa ngakumbi ukuba ulungile emntwini ayisiyiyo Umfazi wakho, umyeni wakho, isoka lakho okanye intombi yakho, usenokuba uzisa kancinci kubudlelwane bakho ekhaya.
Njengoko usondela kufutshane nomntu osebenza naye, okanye laa mfazi umbona kwindlela engaphantsi kwendlela yonke imihla, wenza umgama phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho. Uya kuziva loo mgama, kodwa okona kubaluleke kakhulu, kuya kuba njalo nakubo. Nje ukuba uhambe umgama omde kakhulu, kuya kuba nzima kakhulu ukubuyisa umva kunye. Lumka nolwalamano lwakho ngaphandle kolona lubaluleke kakhulu kuwe.
Ukugcina amanqaku
Ndihlambe izitya, ndahlamba iimpahla, kwaye uhambise abantwana esikolweni namhlanje. Ingaba wenze ntoni?"
Ngaba ugcina amanqaku ebhodi engqondo entlokweni yakho kuzo zonke izinto ozenzayo ngothando lwakho? Ukuba kunjalo, emva koko ususa enye yezona zinto zibalaseleyo ebomini bakho. Xa uqala ukubona izinto zemihla ngemihla ozenzela iqabane lakho njengezinto ezenziweyo "ndizenzile" vs. Awusasebenzi ngenxa yothando nobubele. Wenza into-yodwa. Xa ukuthandana kwakho kujika kube kukhuphiswano, kuya kuba nzima ukugcina omabini amaqela onwabile.
Ukubamba ingqumbo
Oku kunxibelelana nokubuyela kwiingxoxo ezinzima, ezinemveliso kubudlelwane bakho. Njengoko kuchaziwe apha ngasentla, ezi ngxoxo zibalulekile kuba ivumela omabini amaqela amazwi ukuba aviwe kwaye aqondwe. Into ebaluleke ngokulinganayo kukuhamba ushiye ezo ncoko zivaliwe. Ukuba ubuthetha neqabane lakho malunga nento abayithethileyo eyenzakalise iimvakalelo zakho, olo tshintsho kufuneka lube lixesha lokugqibela elivelayo. Sebenzisa incoko ukubonisa indlela oziva ngayo kwaye uqiniseke ukuba bayayiqonda imbono yakho. Nje ukuba usombulule umba, kuya kufuneka udlule kuwo. Ukuba uyigcina ijikeleze i-ammo kwimpikiswano yexesha elizayo, umbi nje njengeqabane lakho kwisimvo sokuqala esihlabayo. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa nokubamba loo ntiyo kuzokunyusa izinga lenzondo yakho kumntu omkhathalele kakhulu. Yiba nengxoxo enzima, sombulula umba, kwaye uqhubeke. Ukuvumela ukwenzakala kunye nomsindo kuqhubeke kuya kupela intlekele kwimpilo yexesha elide yobudlelwane.
Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zintlanu kufuneka zithintelwe ngazo zonke iindleko ukuba ufuna ubudlelwane bakho buhlale. Akufuneki ubamkele kwiqabane lakho, kwaye ndiyakuqinisekisa ukuba abayi kwamkela kuwe.
Ukunyaniseka ngakumbi, iimfihlo ezingaphantsi. Ukuxolela okungakumbi, inzondo encinci. Benze bazive uthando lwakho, ungavumeli ukuba babone ukuba kusekho. Yenza ulwalamano lwakho lube lolona lungcono.
UNick Matiash
Eli nqaku libhalwe nguNick Matiash.