Umxholo
Nokuba singathetha kangakanani ukuba asisokuze sithandane okanye siza kuzama ngandlela zonke ukuba singathandani - isenzeka.
Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba uthando yimvakalelo, olona luvo lunamandla esinokuze siluva kwaye lusizi, nokuba singazama kangakanani na ukuba singathandani-ekugqibeleni senza njalo.
Ukuqonda abasetyhini ngothando zombini kuyinkimbinkimbi kodwa kulula ngexesha elinye. Ukuqonda ngcono ukuba abantu basetyhini, bathandane, kufuneka kuqala siqonde indlela yokwenza ukuba bathandane kwasekuqaleni.
Umfazi othandweni-yonke into yothando
Wakhe wathandana? Abafazi bathandana njani?
Iingcali zithi imichiza yobuchopho bethu kunye nezinye zeekhemikhali ezibalulekileyo emzimbeni wethu zidlala indima ebalulekileyo kwindlela esithandana ngayo.
Masiqonde ukuba ezi khemikhali zisinceda njani ukuba sithandane.
- Dopamine - Yikhemikhali ekhutshwa yingqondo xa siziva sonwabile okanye sonwabile. Kungenxa yoko le nto umntu osenza sihleke kwaye sonwabe, anokusenza sithandane.
- I-Testosterone -Ukunyuka kwe-dopamine kuya kubangela ukuveliswa kwe testosterone. Singayazi sonke le khemikhali njengehomoni yesini esiyindoda kodwa nabasetyhini bayayikhupha kwaye babangele ukuba babe nesondo elinamandla ngakumbi- elonyusa umtsalane abaziva kuwo abantu ababhinqileyo.
- INorepinephrine kunye nePhenylethylamine - Ukuya phambili, abasetyhini abathandanayo baya kuba ne-norepinephrine kunye ne-phenylethylamine kwiinkqubo zabo ezibanika imvakalelo "yomlingo" kubudlelwane babo.
- I-Oxytocin- Oku kuyakwenza ukuba ulutywine olo thando njengoko luya kwenza ukuba abantu basetyhini bazive bencamathele kwaye, ngandlela thile, abasetyhini banamathele ngokulula kunamadoda njengoko abasetyhini bevelisa i-oxytocin ngakumbi kunamadoda. Esi sizathu sokuba abasetyhini kunokwenzeka ukuba bathandane ngokukhawuleza kunamadoda.
Akukho mntu ufanele ukujongela phantsi abantu basetyhini ngothando kuba ungothuka xa usazi ukuba bangancama malini ngenxa yothando nokuba semathandweni.
Siye sabona amabali amaninzi ngamabhinqa enza yonke into ngothando nokuba ayinangqondo kwaphela, nokuba ingajongeka ngathi iyasetyenziswa- basakholelwa ukuba luthando lwenene.
Ungaya kude kangakanani ukulwela lowo umthandayo?
Indlela yokwenza umfazi ukuthandana
Indlela abafazi abathandana ngayo iya kuxhomekeka kwizizathu ezininzi.
Ngaba usalikhumbula ixesha lakho lokuqala ukuthandana kwaye yayiyintoni isizathu sokuba uwe kulomntu ubalulekileyo?
Sonke sineendlela zethu zokuba sitsala bani kodwa inyani kukuba, ngekhe uxele ukuba ngubani oza kuthandana naye kwaye iyakwenzeka nini-senza nje.
Nangona kunjalo, baqala njani ukuwa abasetyhini abathandanayo? Unokwenza njani ukuba inenekazi lithandane nawe?
- Nyaniseka- Uyenza njani into yokuba abantu basetyhini bathandane nawe? Nyaniseka! Akukho nto idlula leyo. Uninzi luya kuba lunomdla kwaye lube luhle, kodwa ayizizo zonke ezinokuba neenjongo ezinyulu. Umtsalane unokufumana umdla kumfazi kodwa ukunyaniseka kuya kumgcina.
- Yiba yinto ehlekisayo- Sonke siyayazi indlela abantu besetyhini abathanda ngayo amadoda athandekayo natshisayo, kodwa ubusazi ukuba umntu ohlekisayo unokuba nomtsalane ngokulinganayo? Uya kumangaliswa kukwazi ukuba bangaphi abaye bathandana nomfana ohlekisayo.
- Mphathe njengenkosazana- Abafazi abathandanayo basenayo inkosazana eyintsomi kubo, ke qiniseka ukuba umphethe kakuhle. Yiba ngumnumzana kwaye umkhathalele ngathi sisiqwenga esihle sobucwebe kwaye uqiniseke ukuba nokuba sele unonyaka wakho wokuqala okanye wesibini, usahambelana nezenzo zakho.
- Khusela - Abasetyhini abaninzi bazimele. Abakwazi ukunceda kodwa bawele umntu okhuselayo kwaye abenze bazive ngathi zezona zinto zixabisekileyo emhlabeni. Nokuba bangomelele kwaye bazimele kangakanani aba bafazi, baya kuhlala benendawo ethambileyo kubafana abakhuselayo.
- Yiba mkhulu ebhedini-Zonke ezinye iimpawu zibaluleke kakhulu ukwenza ukuba umfazi athandane nawe, kodwa ungalibali ukuba mkhulu ebhedini. Yenza amava akhe angalibaleki kwaye uyakulangazelela okungakumbi!
- Yiba noxanduva-Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuthandana kumnandi kodwa ungalibali ukuba ukhuseleko lubalulekile ngokunjalo. Ukuba ufuna ukuchitha ubomi bakho kunye naye, yiba noxanduva kwaye uqiniseke ukuba uhlala ungaguquguquki. Abafazi kule mihla, nangona besethandweni banezinto eziphambili kwaye abayi kulungela amadoda angenankathalo.
- Thembeka-Akunyanzelekanga ukuba siyicacise ngakumbi le nto. Abafazi ngothando balindele ukuba amadoda abo athembeke. Akukho sizathu sokuba kungabikho buxoki!
Abafazi ngothando iikowuti
Umfazi oseluthandweni angazisusa iintaba kwaye angadubula njengombala obomvu. Ukwabelana nabanye babafazi abahle kakhulu kwingqokelela yexabiso lothando.
"Awumthandi umntu kuba egqibelele, uyamthanda nangona engenjalo."
-UJodi Picoult, uMgcini kaDade wam
Xa ekugqibeleni ufumene uthando, uyaqonda ukuba ayithethi ngokugqibelela. Ayisiyonto yokuba enomzimba omnandi, ubuso obuhle okanye isipaji esityebileyo. Uyamthanda nje lomntu ngoba unguye.
“Alikho ixesha okanye indawo yothando lokwenene. Kwenzeka ngengozi, ekubetheni kwentliziyo, ngomzuzwana nje omnye, obabazekayo. ”
-USarah Dessen, Inyaniso Ngonaphakade
Nokuba ucwangcisa ukuthanda umntu xa ufikelela kubudala obuthile okanye ucwangcise ukuthandana nomntu ofuna ngenxa yeempawu zakhe, kanye emva koko uzifumana uthandana nomntu ongalindelekanga kunye nelona xesha ungalilindelanga.
Izicwangciso zakho, iikhrayitheriya kunye nengqondo yakho iyakukungcatsha wakube ufumene "inye".
"Uyazi ukuba uyathandana xa ungekhe ulale kuba inyani ekugqibeleni ingcono kunamaphupha akho."
-Gqirha Seuss
Okokugqibela, uyazi ukuba uyathandana xa ungakwazi ukulala ngenxa yothando olukhulu kunye nolonwabo onalo. Oko kuvuka kuzisa uncumo ebusweni bakho - obuqaqambileyo nobuhle obulungele ukujongana nolunye usuku.
Ukuba ukhe ubone abanye abantu basetyhini ngothando- bonwabele kubo njengoko bekwazile ukufumana umntu obenza bazive bephelele kwaye bonwabile.