Umxholo
- Izibonelelo zokucebisa ngobuhlobo
- Yintoni onokuyilindela kwingcebiso yobudlelwane ngaphambi komtshato
Ukuba ukhwele phezulu kuthando lokuzibandakanya kwakho kutsha nje kunye nokucwangcisa usuku lwakho olukhulu, into yokugqibela ofuna ukuyicinga malunga nemiba yobudlelwane kunye nokusebenza ukunqanda uqhawulo mtshato iingcebiso ngaphambi komtshato.
Wena, njengabanye abaninzi, unokucinga olo lwalamano iingcebiso phambi komtshato yinkcitha xesha kunye nento eza kunceda ezo “zibini zitshatileyo” zilwayo kwaye zingavani kakuhle njengokuba nisenza nomyeni wakho. Le ayisiyiyo kwaphela imeko kwaye enyanisweni; Iingcebiso malunga nolwalamano ngaphambi komtshato ziqhelekile.
Ke yintoni ukucebisa ngomtshato ngaphambi komtshato? Ukucebisa izibini ngaphambi komtshato luhlobo lonyango olunceda ekulungiseleleni abantu abatshatileyo.
Enye yeenzuzo ezininzi zokufumana iingcebiso ngaphambi komtshato okanye ingcebiso ngaphambi komtshato kukuba inceda izibini ukuba zichonge ubuthathaka bazo kwaye zenze umtshato ozinzileyo, owomeleleyo nowanelisayo.
Izibonelelo zokucebisa ngobuhlobo
Ukucebisana ngaphambi komtshato kunokukhuthaza izibini ukuba ziphucule ubudlelwane bazo ngokunxibelelana nokuxoxa ngezihloko ezibalulekileyo emtshatweni wazo. Ukucebisa ngaphambi komtshato kunceda amaqabane ukuseta okulindelweyo kunye nokwakha indlela yokunciphisa nokusombulula iimbambano.
Zininzi izibonelelo zeiingcebiso zomtshato ngaphambi komtshato, nokuba utshata okokuqala okanye okwesihlanu, kubandakanya:
1. Izakhono zokunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo
Unxibelelwano lubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abantu abatshatileyo bagcine umtshato wabo wonwabile kwaye usempilweni. Ukusebenza kwencoko phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho kunokuba mahluko phakathi kokuhlala emtshatweni okanye ukuphuma kuwo.
Ukungakwazi kwabantu abathandanayo ukunxibelelana ngokukhululekileyo ngokukhululekileyo izimvo kunye nezimvo zabo kumaqabane abo amaxesha amaninzi sisizathu sokuba umtshato uqhawuke. Inkqubo ye- Izibonelelo zokucebisa izibini ngaphambi komtshato kukuba yenza ukuba izibini ziqondane ngcono ngokufumana iindlela zonxibelelwano ngcono.
Ngexesha lokucebisa, i-Therapist iyakubonisa izibini ukuba zixoxe ngemicimbi ebalulekileyo kwikamva labo, langoku kunye nekamva labo. Njengeenkolelo, amaxabiso, iimali, ukusonjululwa kwembambano, okulindelweyo nokunye okuninzi.
2. Izixhobo zokuqinisa ubudlelwane bakho
Ukucebisa ngaphambi komtshato kunika ithuba izibini ezisebenzisa izixhobo zokucebisa kunye nobulumko bomcebisi wazo ukujongana nayo nayiphi na imiba kwaye zilungiselele okuzayo emtshatweni wabo.
Ayisiyonto efana nesibini esigqibeleleyo okanye umtshato ogqibeleleyo, abanye abantu bangcono ekuwaqondeni amaqabane abo okanye bafuna uncedo kwangoko. Nokuba ulunge kangakanani ubudlelwane bakho okanye bomelele kangakanani amaqhina abelana ngesibini, bonke banokufunda kwaye baxhamle kwiingcebiso zangaphambi komtshato.
Iyacetyiswa Ikhosi yangaphambi komtshato
3. Uncedo lokujamelana nokuhamba usuka kwimicimbi kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo
Indlela umntu aliqonda ngayo ikamva lakhe elinokubakho kunye nefuthe elinokubakho ichaphazeleka kakhulu kwinto ebeyiqonda kwaye ayifundile kwixa elidlulileyo. Kwangokunjalo, indlela wena neqabane lakho elijongana ngayo nemicimbi yenu yobudlelwane ixhomekeke kwindlela enisombulule ngayo imicimbi ngaphambili.
Iingcebiso phambi komtshato Inzuzo kubo nabaphi na abantu abatshatileyo ngokubanceda baxoxe ngokungafihlisiyo kwimicimbi yabo kwixesha elidlulileyo kunye nendlela ekusetyenzwe ngayo. Endaweni yokutyhala nje iingxaki zangaphambili phantsi kombhoxo, ukucebisa kukunceda ukuba ungavumeli inzondo ikukhuthaze kulwalamano lwakho kwaye ufumane yonke into phandle.
Ukwazi ukuba ujongana njani neengxaki ezidlulileyo kunye nemicimbi ayakhi kuphela ukuthembana ngakumbi emtshatweni wakho kodwa kukunceda ukuba ufundise okufanayo ebantwaneni bakho. Ukujongana neengxaki zakho zangaphambili kunokukufundisa ukuba ungaliqinisekisa njani kwaye ulithuthuzele iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho.
4. Ukusebenzela iinjongo zakho zexesha elizayo
Okokugqibela kodwa kungaphelelanga apho, iingcebiso phambi komtshato yindlela entle yokuvavanya wena kunye namaqabane akho iminqweno kunye nolindelo lwexesha elizayo. Unokufumana iindlela zokuxoxa malunga neenjongo ozibekele zona kwaye ungazilungelelanisa njani iinjongo zakho kunye neqabane lakho.
Uyakwazi ukwakha isiketshi esilukhuni apho unokuba khona emva kwexesha elithile kubomi bakho kunye nasemtshatweni wakho. Oku kukunceda ukuba uxoxe ngeenjongo zakho zemali, ucwangciso-ntsapho, kunye nokunciphisa umngcipheko wokwahlukana okanye wokuqhawula umtshato.
Uninzi lwabantu luphantsi kwengcinga ephosakeleyo yokuba iingcebiso malunga nolwalamano zikhawulelwe kwabo bajongene nengxabano enkulu. Iingcebiso ngesibini ngaphambi komtshato inokukunceda uphephe ukuba nengxabano ongenakuyisombulula ngokukufundisa izakhono zokusebenza ngezinto.
Inokuqinisekisa ukuba ungena emtshatweni uzilungiselele ngolwazi lokuchaza iimvakalelo zakho kwaye umamelane, nto leyo eya kwenza ukuba zonke iinkalo zomtshato wakho zibengcono.
Nje ukuba ilokhwe yomtshato ipakishwe kwaye ixesha lasemva komtshato liphelile, kuyakufuneka ujongane nazo zonke izinto ezenzekayo emtshatweni, njengezezimali, umsebenzi wasekhaya, iishedyuli zomsebenzi, nazo zonke ezinye izinto eziyindinisa ezinokuhlala ziphakathi abathandani.
Ukwenza izigqibo malunga nekamva lakho, ezinje ngendawo yokuhlala okanye indlela yokukhulisa abantwana bakho nako kunokusongamela isibini esisandul 'ukutshata kwaye kubeke uxinzelelo kubudlelwane. Ezi zizinto ezinokukunceda ukuba ucebise ngolwalamano.
Yintoni onokuyilindela kwingcebiso yobudlelwane ngaphambi komtshato
Ngaphandle kokuba ukhe wafumana uhlobo oluthile lokucebisa kwixa elidlulileyo, awuqinisekanga ngento onokuyilindela okanye ube nomfanekiso entlokweni yakho okwenzekayo kwiziluleko zezibini ezisekwe kwinto oyibonileyo kumabonwakude. Awuyi kulala esofeni malunga nobuntwana bakho okanye nayiphi na into eyaziwayo.
Uya kuchitha iseshoni yakho yokuqala uthetha nomphengululi ofunda ngale nkqubo. Ingcali yezonyango iya kuthatha ixesha ukuba iqhelane nawe njengesibini kwaye ngokukodwa. Uya kubuzwa malunga nezinto ezinje:
- Kutheni ugqibe kwelokuba ufumane ingcebiso
- Naziphi na iinkxalabo ezithile kubudlelwane bakho, ukuba zikhona
- Nakuphi na ukuxhalaba okanye uloyiko malunga nomtshato okanye ikamva lakho
- Ukuze ufumane okuninzi kwiiseshoni zakho, kuya kufuneka uzimisele ukuthetha ngokungafihlisiyo nangokunyaniseka ukuze ugqirha afunde ukuba yintoni ubudlelwane bakho kunye nezinto ezikubambayo, zeziphi izinto eniphikisana ngazo, uxinzelelo olunokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho, njani unxibelelana, yintoni enokusilela kulwalamano lwakho, njl.
Isibini sayo yonke iminyaka kunye neemvelaphi sinokuzuza iingcebiso phambi komtshato. Uninzi lwezakhono ezifundwe kwingcebiso ngolwalamano zinokusetyenziswa nakwezinye ubudlelwane ebomini bakho, ezinokuthi zithathe uxinzelelo lwangaphandle emtshatweni.
Ngaba ufuna ingcebiso ngaphambi komtshato? Thatha imibuzo