Umxholo
- 1. Cinga ngesiqalo esitsha
- 2. Chonga imiqobo
- 3. Yenza isigqibo sokusebenzisana
- 4. Zoba isicwangciso sobuzali ngokubambisana
- 5. Khumbula ukuba bhetyebhetye
- 6. Yiba nentlonipho
- 7. Funda ukumelana nobulolo
- 8. Nxibelelana neqabane elitsha
- 9. Yakha iqela lenkxaso
- 10. Khumbula ukubaluleka kokuzikhathalela
Uqhawulo-mtshato lunokuba ngamava abuhlungu kubo bonke abachaphazelekayo, ngakumbi xa kufikwa kubazali bobabini emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Uninzi lwabazali, eyona ntlungu yabo ibhekisa ebantwaneni babo kunye neziphumo zoqhawulo mtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana kubo. Nangona umtshato uphelile, nobabini nisengabazali babantwana benu, kwaye akukho nto izokutshintsha lonto.
Nje ukuba uthuli luzinze kuqhawulo-mtshato, lixesha lokuba ujongane nemiceli mngeni ebalulekileyo yokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana ngeyona ndlela isebenzayo neluncedo ebantwaneni bakho.
Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ungaba njani-ngumzali emva koqhawulo-mtshato okanye, endaweni yoko, ungaba ngumzali onjani ngokufanelekileyo, ungalisebenzisa eli cebo kubazali bobabini ngenjongo yokufumana ukuba ngumzali ophumeleleyo emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Nazi iingcebiso ezilishumi zokuba ngumzali kubazali abaqhawule umtshato.
1. Cinga ngesiqalo esitsha
Ukuze ube ngumzali osebenzayo emva koqhawulo-mtshato, musa ukuphelelwa lithemba kwaye uwele kumgibe wokucinga ukuba ubonakalisile ubomi bomntwana wakho ngonaphakade.
Kubantwana abaninzi, ubomi emva koqhawulo-mtshato bunokubangcono kakhulu kunokuhlala noxinzelelo oluqhubekayo kunye noxinzelelo lwempikiswano yabazali. Ngoku banokuba nexesha elifanelekileyo kumzali ngamnye ngokwahlukeneyo, ehlala isebenza ukuba ibe yintsikelelo ephindwe kabini.
Khetha ukubona oku njengesahluko esitsha okanye isiqalo esitsha kuwe nakubantwana bakho kwaye wamkele i-adventure yobuzali emva koqhawulo-mtshato oluzayo.
2. Chonga imiqobo
Owona mqobo ubalulekileyo wokuba ngumzali osebenzayo ziimvakalelo ezingalunganga, ezinjengomsindo, inzondo kunye nomona. Zinike ixesha lokuba buhlungu ngokusweleka komtshato wakho kwaye ufumane uncedo oludingayo lokujongana neemvakalelo zakho.
Musa ukukhanyela okanye ukuzama ukubeka phantsi indlela oziva ngayo- yamkele kwaye uziqonde iimvakalelo zakho, kodwa uqaphele ukuba banokukuthintela kwindima yakho yokuba ngumzali emva koqhawulo mtshato.
Ke zama ukwahlulahlula iimvakalelo zakho ngelixa ujongana nazo, ukuze ufumane esona sisombululo sisiso sokubambisana nabantwana bakho.
3. Yenza isigqibo sokusebenzisana
Ukusebenzisana akuthethi ukuba sibe ngabahlobo.
Kuzo zonke iimeko ezinokwenzeka, ubudlelwane buxinene phakathi kwakho nowakho wangaphambili, ke kuya kuthatha isigqibo esifanelekileyo sokukulungela ukubambisana njengomzali ngokwakhayo ngenxa yomntwana wakho.
Ukukubeka ngokulula, kuziwa ekuthandeni umntwana wakho ngaphezu kokuba umthiyile okanye ungamthandi umntu wakudala. Ukubeka izinto ngokubhaliweyo kunokunceda ekwenzeni amalungiselelo acacileyo anokugqithiseka ngokulula kamva, ngakumbi xa kuziwa kubani abahlawula ntoni kunye namaxesha eeholide.
4. Zoba isicwangciso sobuzali ngokubambisana
Nje ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokusebenzisana, kulungile ukufumana isicwangciso sobuzali esisebenza kuni nakubantwana.
Ungalibali ukuthetha nabantwana bakho kwaye uve ezinye zeengcinga ezilungileyo abahlala benazo. Bazise indlela oziva ngayo kunye neenjongo zakho kunye nolindelo lwakho.
Unokumangaliswa zizimvo zabo kunye nendlela ababona ngayo indlela eya phambili.
Isicwangciso sakho sokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana emva koqhawulo mtshato kuya kufuneka sigubungele ishedyuli yokutyelela, iiholide, kunye neziganeko ezizodwa, iimfuno zonyango zabantwana, imfundo kunye nemali.
5. Khumbula ukuba bhetyebhetye
Ngoku ukuba unesicwangciso endaweni, sisiqalo esiphambili, kodwa kuya kufuneka uphinde uphinde uvavanye amaxesha ngamaxesha.
Zilungiselele ukuba ube bhetyebhetye njengoko izinto ezingalindelekanga ziqinisekile ukuvela amaxesha ngamaxesha. Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba umntwana wakho uyagula kwaye ufuna ukuhlala ekhaya angayi esikolweni, okanye ukuba iimeko zakho ziyaguquka kwikamva?
Ngamanye amaxesha isicwangciso sobuzali ngokubambisana kufuneka sihlengahlengiswe ekuqaleni kwekota nganye ngokwesikolo sabantwana bakho okanye iishedyuli zomsebenzi.
6. Yiba nentlonipho
Ukuqhubela phambili ngendlela eyakhayo kuthetha ukubeka umva emva kwakho kwaye uqonde ukuba iminyaka yobuzali obuzayo ingangcono kakhulu ukuba nobabini nihlala ninohlonipho kwaye nizilawula kwinto eniyithethayo nayenzayo.
Oku kubandakanya into oyithethayo emntwaneni wakho xa iqabane lakho langaphambili lingekho. Khumbula ukuba umntwana wakho uyanithanda nobabini.
Ke, ngelixa ubambisene njengomzali emva koqhawulo-mtshato, ngomonde nonyamezelo, unokunika (kwaye ngethemba lokufumana imbuyekezo) isidima, imbeko, kunye nentlonipho efanele umntu ngamnye.
7. Funda ukumelana nobulolo
Ixesha ngaphandle kwabantwana bakho linokutshabalalisa kwaye libe lilolo, ngakumbi ekuqaleni.
Enye yeengcebiso ezibalulekileyo zokuba ngumzali kubazali abaqhawule umtshato yile, musa ukuba nzima kuwe, kodwa ngobunono qala ukuzalisa ixesha lakho lodwa ngezinto ezakhayo ozithandayo.
Ungaqala nokukhangela phambili ekufumaneni ixesha lakho, ixesha lokundwendwela abahlobo bakho, ukuphumla, kunye nokwenza izinto ozithandayo obusoloko ufuna ukuzenza.
Ke, xa abantwana bakho bebuya, unokuziva uhlaziyekile kwaye ukulungele ukubamkela kwakhona ngamandla ahlaziyiweyo.
8. Nxibelelana neqabane elitsha
Ukuba i-ex yakho ineqabane elitsha okanye utshata kwakhona, lo mntu uza kuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabantwana bakho.
Le yeyona nto inzima ukwamkela ukubangumzali emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Nangona kunjalo, ngeenjongo ezilungileyo zomntwana wakho, kulungile ukuba wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukunxibelelana nalo mntu.
Ukuba unokwabelana ngezinto ezikuxhalabisayo kunye nolindelo lwabantwana bakho ngendlela evulekileyo nenobuthathaka, ngaphandle kokuzikhusela, ingahamba indlela ende ekuncedeni abantwana bakho ukuba benze ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo.
Bukela le vidiyo:
9. Yakha iqela lenkxaso
Sonke sifuna iqela lenkxaso, nokuba lusapho, izihlobo, amalungu ecawe, okanye abantu esisebenza nabo.
Ungazami ukuhamba wedwa-njengabantu, kwaye senziwe ukuba sihlale ekuhlaleni, ke ungoyiki ukucela uncedo kunye nokuxhasa abanye. Nje ukuba uqalise ukuzabalazela amalungelo, uya kusikelelwa ngokufumanisa ukuba luluphi na uncedo olufumanekayo.
Kwaye xa kuziwa kubambiswano lwabazali emva koqhawulo-mtshato, qiniseka ukuba iqela lakho lenkxaso lihambelaniswe nendlela yakho kunye nendlela onxibelelana ngayo nomntu wakudala, ngentlonipho nisebenzisanayo.
10. Khumbula ukubaluleka kokuzikhathalela
Ukuzikhathalela linyathelo lokuqala lokuphilisa, ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo kunye nokubuyiselwa emva komtshato.
Ukuba ufuna ukuba ngumzali osebenzisanayo ngokwakhayo, kuya kufuneka ukuba ube yeyona nto ibalaseleyo onokuba yiyo, ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasemphefumlweni nangokomoya - ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana emva koqhawulo-mtshato kufuna intsebenziswano efanayo kubazali bobabini.
Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakuxhaphaza okanye alizimiselanga ukusebenzisana, kungafuneka uthathe amanyathelo asemthethweni okanye ufune iingcebiso neengcebiso ukuze ufumane eyona ndlela iphambili yokukhusela kunye nentlalontle yabantwana bakho.