Umxholo
- Luyintoni usizi kunye nohlobo lwalo?
- Usizi olulindelweyo
- Intlungu eqhelekileyo
- Intlungu exineneyo
- Zivela phi izigaba zentlungu?
- Ngaba usizi lusoloko lulandelelana ngokulandelelana kwamanqanaba?
- Athini amanqanaba amahlanu osizi?
- Ukuchaza amanqanaba ama-5 osizi
- Isigaba sokuqala: Ukukhanyela
- Inqanaba lesibini: Umsindo
- Inqanaba lesithathu: Ukuxoxa
- Isigaba sesine: Uxinzelelo
- Isigaba sesihlanu: Ukwamkelwa
- Iimeko ezahlukeneyo xa abantu besentlungwini
- Iimpawu zosizi
- Iimpawu ezingokweemvakalelo zosizi
- Iimpawu ezibonakalayo zentlungu
- Lide kangakanani ixesha lokulila?
- Unyango lwentlungu
- Indlela yokunceda xa abanye besentlungwini
- Ithiyori yokuncamathisela kunye nosizi
- Ukuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo
- Ukuncamathela kwixhala
- Ukuthintela ukunamathela
- Uncamathiselo olungalungelelaniswanga
- Isiphelo
Uqhawulo-mtshato ngamava abuhlungu, ngakumbi ukuba ayinguwe owaqala inkqubo.
Akukho mntu ungena emtshatweni ecinga ukuba uza kuphela ngoqhawulo-mtshato. Kuqhelekile ukuba xa uqhawulo-mtshato luphelile kwaye lusemthethweni, kuya kuthi kulandele ixesha losizi.
Ngokufana nentlungu, siziva xa umntu esimthandayo esifa, amanqanaba osizi emva koqhawulo-mtshato anokwehliswa ngokwamanqanaba ahlukeneyo osizi.
Luyintoni usizi kunye nohlobo lwalo?
Yintoni ke intlungu?
Intlungu imele ukuba lusizi, uxinzelelo lwengqondo, okanye imvakalelo yokubandezeleka okubangelwa kukusweleka okanye ukwahlukana nomntu othile.
Kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zentlungu, njengoko kuchaziwe ngezantsi:
Usizi olulindelekileyo lwenzeka ngelahleko yokwenyani yento okanye umntu omthandayo, isifo esinganyangekiyo, njl.
Usizi oluqhelekileyo luthetha ukusabela kuyo nayiphi na imeko okanye ilahleko. Ezi mpawu zokuziphatha okanye zokuqonda ziqhelekile kubo bonke abantu.
Intlungu exineneyo ihlala ibhekisa kuhlobo lwentlungu ehlala ixesha elide. Ezi zinokubizwa ngokuba lusizi olufihliweyo okanye usizi olungapheliyo, apho ixhoba linokubonisa indlela yokuziphatha eyenzakalisayo.
Zivela phi izigaba zentlungu?
Amanqanaba osizi aziswa ngo-1969 ngu-Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, ugqirha wezengqondo waseSwitzerland-waseMelika, kwincwadi yakhe ethi On Death and Dying. Ungqina amawaka ezigulana ezigulela ukufa ngaphambi kokuba afike kwisiphelo seengqondo zentlungu.
Kukho iingcamango ezahlukeneyo malunga namanqanaba osizi ngokulandelelana kwawo ahluka ngokwenani. Ngelixa ezinye zimbini, ezinye zisixhenxe, kodwa uElizabeth Kübler-Ross uxoxa ngamanqanaba amahlanu kwaye oku kwaziwa njengemodeli yaseKübler-Ross.
Zama kwakhona: Intlungu kunye neLoss Quiz
Ngaba usizi lusoloko lulandelelana ngokulandelelana kwamanqanaba?
Zenzeka ngokulandelelana njani ezi zigaba? Kubalulekile ukuba uyiqonde loo nto Amanyathelo okuba buhlungu awahambelani.
Awunakulindela ukuba ugqitywe ngokucocekileyo kwaye uqhubeke ngqo uye kwelandelayo.
Kungenxa yoko le nto sinokubhekisa kumanqanaba osizi kubudlelwane njengakwimijikelezo yentlungu, ngaphandle kwesiqalo esihle okanye isiphelo esichongiweyo kumjikelo ngamnye.
Ukongeza, Ungalindela ukuba ube neentsuku apho uziva ngathi ufumana umtsalane wokuqhubela phambili kwizigaba zakho zentlungu, kuphela ukuvuka ngentsasa enye uzibone ubuyela umva amanyathelo amabini.
Kwakhona, oku kuqhelekile. Amanqanaba osizi anokubangelwa yingoma, inqaku okanye incwadi oyifundayo, ebalekela kubahlobo bakho abaqhelekileyo, okanye ngemihla ebalulekileyo efana nesikhumbuzo sakho okanye umhla wokuzalwa.
Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba uzikhathalele xa usiya kumanqanaba osizi emva koqhawulo-mtshato kwaye uzixelele ukuba nantoni na oyivayo, kwaye naphina apho ukhoyo kumjikelo wentlungu yakho, yonke into ilungile.
Uya kusinda kule nto.
Athini amanqanaba amahlanu osizi?
Intlungu ayinakuphepheka kunye nobubi obuyimfuneko. Njengokuba ulonwabo luyinxalenye yobomi, kukwanjalo nosizi olugcina ibhalansi yobomi ilungile. Xa umntu edibana nosizi, kuthatha ixesha ukumka.
Isizathu kukuba kukho amanqanaba entlungu umntu ahamba kuyo ngaphambi kokuba aqhubeke ngokupheleleyo. Amanqanaba osizi kunye nelahleko asebenza kuninzi lwamatyala obudlelwane.
Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ngaphambili, uGqirha Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wabhala amanqanaba amahlanu osizi kubudlelwane obusebenza kubantu abaninzi abanamava abaguli abagulela ukufa ngaphambi kokuba basweleke.
Zonke ezinye iinkqubo ezilusizi zisekwe kwimodeli yeKubler-Ross. Amanqanaba amahlanu osizi ngala:
- Ukukhanyela
- Umsindo
- Iingxoxo
- Uxinzelelo
- Ukwamkelwa
Ukuchaza amanqanaba ama-5 osizi
Ngenxa yoko, kubalulekile ukuba wazi kwaye uqonde ukuba uza kujongana nantoni, kwaye eli nqaku linokukunceda ukuba wenze oko ngokuphosa ukukhanya kumanqanaba ahlukeneyo osizi ngexesha nasemva koqhawulo mtshato.
Nazi iindlela ezi-5 zenkqubo yokulila:
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ulifumene eli nqanaba xa wawusaqhawula umtshato.
Ukukhanyela yindlela yengqondo yakho yokukhusela kwixinzelelo olunzulu.
Inqanaba lokwala likuvumela ukuba uzikhwebule kwisiganeko esibuhlungu de ube ukulungele ukuqala ukusilungisa.
Ke ukuba uzive usithi, "Andikholelwa ukuba siza kuqhawula umtshato! Kubonakala ngathi liphupha nje elibi! ”, Yazi ukuba le yindlela yokwala, kwaye yinto eqhelekileyo leyo.
Njengoko uqala ukwenza into yokuba uza kuba okanye uqhawule umtshato, ungaqala ukuba neemvakalelo zentlungu kunye nomsindo.
Yonke inhlungu neentlungu ozifumene ngexesha lomtshato wakho zingangaphambili, kwaye ungazibona sele uthetha izinto ezoyikisayo ngomlingane wakho wangaphambili.
Zizizathu zokuba umtshato usilele, imeko yakho yezemali imbi, kwaye abantwana bayakuqhuba. Ke yayihle into.
Jonga kwakhona ngezantsi:
Vumela ukuba uzive zonke ezi mvakalelo zinomsindo. Inxalenye yamanyathelo enkqubo yakho yokukhathazeka kunye ne-cathartic.
Oh nkwenkwe. Inqanaba lokuxoxa malunga nosizi linyathelo lokucinga eliphambeneyo.
Ungaqala ukucinga ngendlela owawubi ngayo umtshato wakho.
Mhlawumbi yayilungile. Uhendwa ukuba uzame ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho ngayo nayiphi na indleko.
Ngaba iqabane lakho likushiyele omnye umntu? Ungaqala ukucinga, ok, mhlawumbi singaba nomtshato ovulekileyo.
Uqala ulahle iqabane lakho kwaye ucinge ukuba nokuba babesoyikeka, ubuncinci kwakungcono kunento.
Njengokuba usiya kwesi sigaba sosizi, yazi ukuba linyathelo eliqhelekileyo eliya kukunika ukuqonda ukuba kuphelile ngenene.
Njengoko ujikeleza ukulila ilahleko kwaye uza kuhlangabezana noqhawulo mtshato, yakho entsha, inyani eyodwa iyakubetha, kwayeuxinzelelo lunokungena.
Abantu abaninzi bahlala kweli nqanaba lentlungu ixesha elide. Yindlela eqhelekileyo yokusabela. Umtshato wakho uphelile, kwaye awazi ukuba yintoni ekhoneni.
Ulusizi ngenxalenye elungileyo yembali yakho neqabane lakho.
Kwinqanaba lokudakumba losizi emva koqhawulo-mtshato, unokuzifumanisa ungakhuthazekanga kwaphela, ungazikhathaleli, ucoceko lomntu, umphefumlo wakho kunye nomoya wakho.
Unokutya ukutya okuneswekile, ungabinakho ukuhlamba, kwaye ulile kakhulu. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba awukwazi ukuphuma kweli nqanaba lentlungu, nceda ufune uncedo.
Baninzi oochwephesha abafanelekileyo abanokukunceda ujongane noxinzelelo kwaye bakukhokele kwinqanaba elilandelayo kwinkqubo yokulila.
Inqanaba lokugqibela, kunye neyona intle ngeendlela ezininzi, zokuba lusizi ulwalamano lwakho ukwamkelwa.
Uyayiqonda kwaye uyidibanisile inyani yakho entsha njengomntu oqhawule umtshato.
Uziva unxibelelwano nezigidi zabanye abantu abaqhawule umtshato abaye bahamba la manyathelo okuba buhlungu phambi kwakho.
Uqala ukubona ukukhanya ekugqibeleni kwetonela kwaye ungonwaba kancinci sesi sahluko sitsha ebomini bakho.
Uyamkela ukuba izinto zikhangeleka zahlukile ngoku, kwaye ukulungele ukwamkela obu bungqina butsha.
Ukwazi nokwamkela ukuba uyakukhanyela ukwenzakala, kufuneka ujongane nentlungu, kufuneka ulawule umsindo wakho, kwaye ujongane nokudakumba kunokukunceda uye phambili. Yenye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokujongana noku kwaye ungene kwinqanaba elilandelayo lobomi bakho njengomntu omtsha.
Iimeko ezahlukeneyo xa abantu besentlungwini
Yinto elusizi ngobomi ukuba ubudlelwane obuninzi abuphumeleli kwaye benyanzelwa ukuba badlule kumanqanaba athile angenakuphepheka emva kokwahlukana.
Nokuba omabini amaqabane alandela zonke "izinto eziyimfihlo" kunye "nefomula ekhethekileyo" evela kuthando kunye neengcali ezinkulu, kuhlala kukho into eyaphula isibini ngaphandle kokuba ayenzelwanga ukuba ibe njalo.
- Xa umntu efumana iindaba ezothusayo, kuya kuthatha ixesha ngaphambi kokuba ingqondo kunye neemvakalelo zabo zikwazi ukuzilungisa, kwaye oku kukhokelela kwintlungu.
- Intlungu iyeza xa abantu benqaba ukuyamkela imeko njengoko injalo kwaye baya kulwa okanye batyhole abanye abantu ngokwahlukana kwabo.
- Utshintsho kwezempilo okanye nakoluphi na uhlobo lokugula ngengqondo okanye komzimba kunokubangela usizi.
- Intlungu inokuba sisiphumo sokulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo
- Ukungaqiniseki kwemali okanye ukungalingani ngokweemvakalelo ngenxa yeengxaki zemihla ngemihla kunokubangela ukuba ube lusizi.
Iimpawu zosizi
Intlungu inokubonisa iimpawu ezahlukeneyo zomzimba nezomzimba. Ezi mpawu ziqhelekile ukuba zihlala iintsuku okanye iiveki ezimbalwa. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba kukho iimpawu ezinde zokuba buhlungu, oku kunokuba yingxaki enkulu.
Iimpawu zovakalelo zosizi zezi:
- Ukungakwazi ukonwaba nakwiimeko ezonwabisayo
- Ukuphulukana neengcinga zosizi
- Ubumdaka
- Ukurhawuzelela abantu, izinto, kunye nobomi, ngokubanzi
- Ukuphulukana nokuncamathela kwabanye abantu ebomini
-
Iimpawu ezibonakalayo zentlungu
Ngaba usizi lwenza ntoni emzimbeni wakho? Yijonge:
- Ukudinwa
- Ukungalali
- Ukulala kakhulu
- Ukuphelelwa ngumdla wokutya
- Intloko ebuhlungu
- Iintlungu zesifuba
Lide kangakanani ixesha lokulila?
Ixesha liyaphilisa onke amanxeba.
Intlungu isekhona, kodwa akusekho ntlungu. Umntu uchache ngokwaneleyo ukuze aqhubeke nemisebenzi yabo yemihla ngemihla.
Ke ithatha ixesha elingakanani inkqubo yokulila?
Kuxhomekeke kumntu kumntu. Umjikelo wentlungu unokuhlala iiveki ezimbalwa unaphakade. Ngumcimbi wokuthanda ukusuka kwelinye inqanaba uye kwelinye.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba ngawaphi amanqanaba osizi anokuhlala ixesha elide, inyani, ixhomekeke kuwe!
Amanqanaba osizi kubudlelwane yimizekelo nje ebonwa ngugqirha wengqondo okrelekrele. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uyilandele inyathelo ngenyathelo njengeresiphi. Kuyenzeka ukuba weqe ukukhanyela, umsindo, ukuxoxa, okanye inqanaba loxinzelelo.
Kuyenzeka ukuba uhlale apho ubomi bakho bonke. Ukwazi ukuba uphi kwaye wenza ntoni kukuvumela ukuba uye phambili. Kuphela kuxa ufikelela ekwamkelweni ngenene apho unokuphiliswa.
Unyango lwentlungu
Xa izinto zisonakala, kwaye yonke enye into isilele. Ukuphelelwa lithemba kuya kukhokelela kwiimvakalelo zentlungu. Eli lixesha elinobungozi kunye nenqaku elibuthathaka. Ngokubanzi, ingcali yezempilo yengqondo iya kuba lukhetho olufanelekileyo lokukhokela umntu osentlungwini kwaye amncede aphume kule meko ngengcebiso zolawulo lwentlungu kunye neengcebiso malunga nosizi.
Ke, ngaba ndifuna uncedo lweengcali?
Qaphela ukuba usizi ayilulo usizi oluqhelekileyo lwemihla ngemihla, kwaye ukuba luyolulwa, ufuna uncedo ngakumbi ukujongana nezigaba zentlungu kubudlelwane. Iingcali zonyango, abacebisi, okanye oogqirha bengqondo banokuncedisa kunyango olusemthethweni ngakumbi kunye neendlela zokucebisa ngentlungu.
Indlela yokunceda xa abanye besentlungwini
Umntu ophethwe yilahleko uya kujongana nantoni na, kubandakanya inkolo, amanye amandla angaphezu kwendalo, kwaneentshaba zabo, acele isisombululo. Benza oku ukuphelisa iintlungu.
Kuyimfuneko ukuba neqela elixhasayo elibonelela ngamanyathelo okubuyisa usizi xa umntu esentlungwini.
Kubalulekile ukuba ungaze umshiye umntu olilayo eyedwa ngexesha lokudakumba. Banokuthi bafuna ukuba bodwa, khumbula ukuba ayonyani.
Baneentloni kakhulu ukujongana nabani na okwangoku, kodwa bayafa yinkampani. Zoba indlela yokuqhekeza udonga.
Ithiyori yokuncamathisela kunye nosizi
Umxholo ophambili wethiyori yokuncamathisela kukuba umnakekeli ophambili uyafumaneka ukuze aqwalasele iimfuno zosana. Oku kunika usana imvakalelo yokunqabiseka. Ithiyori yokuncamathisela iphuhliswa kubudlelwane bomzali nomntwana kwaye iqhubela phambili inefuthe kolunye ubudlelwane ebomini.
Kwincwadi yakhe enesihloko esithi Attachment and Loss, uJohn Bowlby uchaza ukuba ngamaxesha okuphulukana nosizi, siye sisebenzise iindlela zethu ezisisiseko zokuncamathisela kunye nendlela efanayo yokuziva, yokucinga nokuphendula kwintlungu.
Zine iindlela zokuncamathisela, kwaye nantsi indlela abantu abanesitayile ngasinye sokuncamathisela abajongana nentlungu:
Abantu abanale ndlela yokuncamathisela babonisa ulawulo lweemvakalelo kwaye basabela kwintlungu ngendlela esempilweni kwaye elungeleleneyo.
Abantu abanesitayile sokuncamathela kwixhala abakufumani kulula ukujongana nentlungu kunye nelahleko. Bahlala bezama ukuzikhusela kwintlungu nangaphambi kokuba yenzeke.
Abantu abanesi sitayile sokuncamathisela banesimo sengqondo sokugxotha. Oku kuthetha ukuba bayakuphepha ukusondela kubudlelwane kunye nolunye uhlobo lwentlungu.
Abantu abanolu hlobo lwesimbo sokuncamathisela abanayo iphethini emiselweyo yokuphendula okanye yokujongana nentlungu kunye nentlungu. Banexesha elinzima lokujongana nelahleko njengoko kungekho mzekelo ubekiweyo.
Isiphelo
Ukuphela kwamanqanaba okuphulukana kunye nentlungu kuza emva kwayo yonke i-roller-coaster yeemvakalelo ezinxulumene nelahleko okanye ukwahlukana kobudlelwane. Emva kweli nqaku, kuya kufuneka ulindele utshintsho kubuntu kunye nombono omtsha wokubona izinto.
Kungcono okanye kokubi, ufunde isifundo esibalulekileyo kuthando nakubudlelwane. Isifundo eso sibonakalisa njani, ngokuqinisekileyo okanye ngokungalunganga, kuxhomekeke ekuziphatheni komntu nakwimigaqo.