Umxholo
- 1.Abanaxesha lakho
- 2. Ezothando zisefestileni
- 3. Abakwenzi ube kwindawo ephambili
- 4. Abafuni kuxambulisana
- 5. Bacaphuka msinya
- 6. Bazama ukukucaphukisa
- 7. Bayakubonisa ukudela
Olunye ubudlelwane buhamba buqhuma ngumsindo, iingxabano kunye neemvakalelo. Ngamanye amaxesha, utshintsho lufihlakele ngakumbi, kwaye umgama uthe chu phakathi kwamaqabane de, ngequbuliso, ube mkhulu kakhulu ukuba ungawela.
Ngamanye amaxesha, umntu omnye uya kuwubona lo msantsa usenzeka. Ngamanye amaxesha, kubonakala ngaphandle kohlaza okwesibhakabhaka kwaye konke abanokukwenza kukubukela ubudlelwane buqhekeka macala onke kubo kwaye bazibuze ukuba ngebe benze ntoni ngokwahlukileyo.
Zeziphi ezinye Iimpawu zomlingane wakho uphulukana nomdla kwaye wenzeni ukuba ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho liphulukana nomdla kubudlelwane bakho? Apha zi ezinye iimpawu zokulumkisa ukuba iqabane lakho linokuphulukana nomdla.
1.Abanaxesha lakho
Ukuba ivakalelwa njengeyakho iqabane liyakuphepha okanye ukuba bahlala bevuthela izicwangciso ngesizathu esinye okanye esinye, kunokubakho inkxalabo.Amaqabane kufuneka afune ukuchitha ixesha kunye kwaye ukuba bahlala bexhasa ixesha elifanelekileyo, leyo iflegi ebomvu ecacileyo.
UCarrie Krawiec, umtshato onelayisensi kunye nonyango losapho kwiKliniki yaseBirmingham Maple eTroy, eMichigan, uthi izibini kufuneka zisebenzele Chaza ukuba lithini ixesha elisemgangathweni omnye komnye kwaye ubeke phambili.
Uthi: "Kukho ukuqhubekeka kwecala ngecala ubuso ngobuso kwaye abantu abohlukeneyo banelisekile ngamanqanaba ahlukeneyo," utshilo. "Abantu kufuneka bazi ngokuthanda kwabo, kunye namaqabane abo kwaye baqonde ukuba" ixesha elifanelekileyo "kufuneka libandakanye into encinci eyonelisayo kuye ngamnye wenu."
2. Ezothando zisefestileni
Nokuba ukhona ukuchitha ixesha kunye neqabane lakho, oko akuthethi ukuba intlantsi ayiphumanga.
Umlingane wakho angayeka ukubambana ngezandla okanye ukuba nothando, angakhathali ekubheneni kuwe, ukhetha ukuvumela imbonakalo yabo ihambe, kwaye isondo sinokuba sisikhumbuzo esikude nesingathandekiyo. Zonke ezi zinokuba yimiqondiso yokuba eyakho ubudlelwane bunokuphulukana nomphunga.
U-Krawiec uthi ukugxila kancinci kwizimbo zomzimba ezinkulu kunye no-zero kwizinto ezincinci eziza kulawula ukuthanda izinto.
Uthi: "Izimbo zomzimba ezigcina iintlantsi ziphila ayizizo iiholide ezinkulu okanye iilokhwe zangaphantsi ezinqabileyo," utshilo. Rhoqo, sisigidi esincinci. Imibhalo emincinci, ukubamba kancinci, okanye ukuveza izinto ezithandwayo nezingathandiyo okanye uloyiko, amathemba namaphupha kunokusigcina siziva sombane omnye nomnye. ”
3. Abakwenzi ube kwindawo ephambili
Kuya kufuneka uze kuqala kubudlelwane, ewe, kuya kuhlala kukho amaxesha apho abantwana babeka phambili, kodwa inani lokuqala kulo naluphi na ulwalamano kufuneka lube lolunye.
Ukuba iqabane lakho linomdla wokuba kunye nabahlobo kunye nokuzonwabisa kwezinye izinto ozithandayo, ke azikho ukuthatha ubudlelwane ngokungathí sina. Ukufikelela kwingcambu yoku, uKrawiec uthi kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba yintoni eqhuba iqabane ukuba lithathe eminye imisebenzi.
Ngaba basebenza kakhulu kuba bekuthiyile ukuba sekhaya okanye ngenxa yokuba bezama ukondla usapho? Kwaye yintoni eyakha ezakho izimvo malunga nendlela abazali bakho abanxulumana ngayo?
Uthi: "Umzekelo, umntu obone umzali omnye enyanzelwa ukuba enze izinto zabanye unokuxabisa ukuvumela umntu ngamnye azikhethele kwaye unokubona oku njengophawu 'lwempilo.' Yintoni esebenzayo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano olunikiweyo lolusebenzayo kwabo bantu babini alusekelwanga kwisivumelwano esithile malunga 'Zonke izibini kufuneka zifuna ukuchitha ixesha kunye.' ”
4. Abafuni kuxambulisana
Ungacinga ukuba okuchaseneyo kuyakuba yinyani- ukuphikisana kuya kuba ngumqondiso wokuba umtshato usengxakini.
Kodwa inyani kukuba, ukungavisisani kwenzeka ngalo lonke ixesha kubudlelwane kwaye ukuba iqabane lakho kunokuba lithule endaweni yokuthetha ngomcimbi, luphawu lwengxaki. Kungathetha ukuba abasenamdla wokulungisa iingxaki kubudlelwane.
UKrawiec uthi: “Ukuvalwa ngamatye, okanye ukuvalwa, ngomnye wabakhweli bamahashe abane bakaJohn weApocalypse.
“Ukugxotha, ukungathethi, okanye ukungabi namdla, yonke le yimizekelo. Nangona iincoko zinokungqubana, ukuguqukela kwiqabane lakho endaweni yokutyhala ngexesha loxinzelelo kunempilo. Xa izibini zityhila, zabelana, zithuthuzelana zikhupha iihormones zoxinzelelo ezilungileyo kubo bobabini abo banikayo kunye nabo bafumana.
5. Bacaphuka msinya
Ukuba eyakho iqabane liqala ukuphulukana nomdla, Yonke into encinci, ukusukela kwindlela ohlafuna ngayo ukutya ukuya kwisandi sokuphefumla kwakho, inokubabeka, kubangele imilo nokungavisisani malunga nemicimbi engenamsebenzi. Oku kunokuba ngumqondiso wenzondo kunye neengxabano phantsi kobuso bobudlelwane.
UCelia Schweyer, ingcali kwezolwalamano kwiDatingscout.com uthi: "Ngexesha elizayo xa usilwa nomsebenzi osisidenge okanye yintoni, ubabuze eyona nto ibacaphukisayo." Kubhetele ukuba sincokole phandle kunokuba sivumele ingqumbo iqhume. ”
6. Bazama ukukucaphukisa
Xa umntu omnye enayo uphelelwe ngumdla kulwalamano, banokwenza izinto ezinjengokukhetha imilo yokukukhathaza kwaye ikugxothe.
"Xa uthe ekugqibeleni wanikezela, utshilo uSchweyer," baya kubeka ityala kuwe kwaye bakuxelele ukuba awuzange ube nomonde ngokwaneleyo okanye awubathandi ngokwaneleyo ukugcina ubudlelwane. " Ukuba oku kuyenzeka, jongana ngqo nentloko, ucebisa uSchweyer.
Buza ukuba yintoni umthombo wokuziphatha kwabo kwaye yintoni kanye ebakhathazayo. Ukuba ngenene bafuna ubudlelwane ukuba busebenze, baya kufumana indlela yokuyilungisa kwaye bangabuyeli kwindlela yokuziphatha ecaphukisayo.
7. Bayakubonisa ukudela
Olu lolona phawu lucacileyo kwaye awuyi kuba nengxaki enkulu ekuchongeni. Kodwa, ukuba ikhula kubudlelwane bakho, kufuneka ilungiswe kwangoko.
Ukujongela phantsi ulwalamano oluphambili lokubulala, lwenza umntu azive engento kwaye ngokungathi izimvo zakhe azinamsebenzi.
UKrawiec uthi: "Ukungahloniphi yinto ongayithandiyo iqabane lakho." Iphawulwa ngegama, ukubiza amehlo, ukuthuka, ukubhuqa, kuthetha ukuhlekisa. Ukuba ikhona indelelo kubudlelwane bakho, luphawu lokuba kukho iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu, iimfuno ezingavakaliyo nokuphela kwezixhobo. ”