Umxholo
- 1. Uyavumelana, ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasengqondweni nangokomzimba
- 2. Unombono ofanayo ngekamva lakho
- 3. Awugcini ingqumbo
- 4. Abahlobo bakho kunye nosapho bayakubona okubonayo
- 5. Nicela umngeni omnye komnye ukuba nibe ngcono
- 6. Ninako ukuba nobabini niyinyaniso
- 7. Uyazi nje
Wonke umntu ufuna ukufumana umntu olungileyo ukuba abelane ngeminqweno yakhe enzulu, awona maphupha abalulekileyo, kunye neemfihlo ezimnyama. Umtshato ukuvumela ukuba uzive ukhuselekile kunye nokuqinisekiswa ngokuba nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni ecaleni kwakho.
Kodwa wazi njani ukuba “ngabo bodwa”? Wazi njani ukuba ukunye nomntu olungileyo?
Ngaphambi kokuba uzibophelele emtshatweni, kubalulekile ukuba uzimamele, uthembe isisu sakho, kwaye wabelane ngeemvakalelo zakho nabahlobo, usapho, abaqeqeshi bobudlelwane, kunye neminye imithombo yesikhokelo ethembekileyo.
Umtshato awukho lula, kodwa Nazi iindlela ezisixhenxe zokumisela ukuba umntu oqalisa naye olu hambo ngumntu olungileyo kuwe.
Jonga le miqondiso ukuze ufumanise ukuba iqabane lakho lingumdlalo ogqibeleleyo.
1. Uyavumelana, ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasengqondweni nangokomzimba
Ukuqonda utyekelo lomnye nomnye kuzo zonke iimeko nokusabela ngokufanelekileyo ngundoqo kwimpumelelo. Xa ukhathazekile, bayayazi indlela yokukuhlaziya. Xa uxinezelekile, bayayazi indlela yokunciphisa iingxaki zakho kunye nokunye.
Nje ukuba ube nomntu olungileyo, nina nobabini niya kuwela emgceni wendlela eniqheleneyo ngayo, izinto ezenzekileyo, kunye neequirks. Olunye lweempawu nguye oza kuza xa unemvakalelo yokuthuthuzela ejikeleze bona. Umzekelo, uya kuyishiya imiba yomzimba wakho ukuba unayo. Kangangoko uya kubamkela, uya kuqala ukuzamkela nawe.
2. Unombono ofanayo ngekamva lakho
Umtshato awunakuphumelela ngaphandle kokuba niyavumelana ngendlela enifuna ukuchitha ngayo ubomi benu bonke kunye kwaye niyiqonde intsingiselo yomtshato. Ukunxibelelana ngombono wakho kunye neenjongo zomtshato zekamva kwangoko kubudlelwane kunye nokubona iliso ngeliso ngokubhekisele kubantwana, indawo, kunye nokuma kobomi emsebenzini kubalulekile.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba unelungelo, Unokulungelelanisa imibono yakho njengabantu kwaye malunga nobudlelwane kwaye ubadibanise njengesibini esitshatileyo. Oku kuya kukunceda ukuba ulazi ngcono iqabane lakho.
3. Awugcini ingqumbo
Xa unengxabano nenye yakho ebalulekileyo, uthetha iimvakalelo zakho, uthathe ixesha lokuphola, kwaye uqhubeke ngenene, ushiye ukungavisisani ngaphambili. Akunakwenzeka ukuqhubela phambili kubudlelwane ukuba omnye okanye nobabini nibambe ngokungafanelekanga kwiimvakalelo ezishiyekileyo.
Ke, iimpikiswano azipheli kuqhawulo okanye zibangele isiphithiphithi kulwalamano nomntu olungileyo. Nobabini nithatha inyathelo eliya phambili lokusombulula umba kwaye niqonde ukukhathazeka kweqabane lakho.
4. Abahlobo bakho kunye nosapho bayakubona okubonayo
Bakwazi kakuhle kwaye babambe ezona zinto uzithandayo, ke ukuba abahambelani neqabane lakho, le ihlala iflegi ebomvu. Ukuba ingxelo onayo yeqabane lakho yahluke kakhulu kwindlela ababathandayo ababona ngayo, lixesha lokuba ubuze ukuba kutheni kusenzeka oko.
Abantu banokumfanyekiswa luthando kunye ne-glaze ngaphezulu kobunzima obukhoyo kubudlelwane ngaphandle kokuba bavulekele ukuva inkxalabo yamaqabane abo abathembekileyo.
Ke xa uyifumana, usapho kunye nabahlobo bakho baya kwabelana ngenqanaba elikhulu lokuhambelana neqabane lakho, nawe ke uya kwenjenjalo.
5. Nicela umngeni omnye komnye ukuba nibe ngcono
Nobabini nifuna ukukhula njengabantu ngabanye kunye namaqabane kwaye nibe ne-cheerleader yenu ecaleni kwenyathelo ngalinye lendlela. Ukucela umngeni komnye nomnye kudlulela ngaphaya kwamazwi-iintshukumo ezibonisa ukuba nobabini niyakhathala nifuna ukubona ukuphucuka komnye nomnye kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ukufumana umntu olungileyo kuthetha ukuba nobabini niyazi amandla omnye nomnye kwaye nihlala nityhalelana ukuze nibe ngcono. Umceli mngeni osempilweni kulwalamano kukho incoko evulekileyo kunye nemibuzo eyenziwe ngokunyaniseka.
Ikwayinto eqhubekayo-iqabane lakho kufuneka likukhuthaze ngalo lonke ixesha uqala uhambo oluya kuthi lubenomvuzo omkhulu.
6. Ninako ukuba nobabini niyinyaniso
Oku kuya ngaphandle kwengcaciso, kodwa umntu olungileyo kufuneka akuthande ngayo yonke into oyiyo. Xa ufumana efanelekileyo, uziva ukhululekile ngokupheleleyo ukubonisa ubuntu bakho bokwenyani, uburharha, kunye nokuziphatha okungqongileyo, kwaye iqabane lakho kufuneka livakalelwe ngendlela efanayo xa likufutshane.
Kwividiyo engezantsi, Ingcali yobudlelwane uRachel DeAlto uthetha ngendlela esinxiba ngayo iimaski ezininzi. Oku kusenza sibe phakathi kwaye kusinqande ekubeni siyeyona nguqulelo iphambili kuthi. Mmamele apha ngezantsi:
7. Uyazi nje
Wazi njani ukuba uyifumene?
Ukuba ubuza ubudlelwane kwaye uhlala uzama ukulungisa iingxaki ezifanayo eziphindaphindayo, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba ungene nzulu emtshatweni wakho. Ayisiwo onke amathandabuzo angunobangela wokungangqinelani ngokupheleleyo, kodwa uyazi ukuba ubudlelwane bakho yeyona nto ilungileyo.
Ngamanye amaxesha yonke into icofa nje nomntu olungileyo, kwaye uyazi ezantsi kwalo mntu ubumele ukuba ube naye.
Umtshato ngumanyano lwabantu ababini abazinikezele omnye komnye ubomi babo bonke, kodwa kunokuba yinto enzima kakhulu ukuhamba. Kuqhelekile ngamanye amaxesha ukubuza ukuba umntu otshata naye okanye otshatileyo naye, ngulowo mntu ubufanele ukuba naye.
Ukuqeqesha ubudlelwane kunika umthombo wangaphandle wonxibelelwano apho wena neqabane lakho ninokuveza izimvo zenu kwindawo efihlakeleyo kwaye nifumane iingcebiso ngeengcali ezivela kwiingcali eziqonda amahla ndinyuka obudlelwane.
Ukuba ubaleka olu luhlu kwaye awuqinisekanga ngokupheleleyo ukuba iqabane lakho 'nguLowo,' inyathelo elilandelayo iya kuba kukufikelela kwabanye ukuze bancede.