Umxholo
Umtshato liziko lakudala eliye lasinda kuvavanyo lwexesha. Ngapha koko, uqikelelo lwe-apocalyptic malunga nokukhula kwenqanaba loqhawulo-mtshato zihlala ziwile kwaye uninzi lwabantu abatshatayo bakhetha ukutshata.
Kodwa, kuyamangalisa ukubona ukuba, siphela senza iimpazamo ezifanayo kubudlelwane bethu. Akubonakali ngathi sifunda kwabanye. Sinamahomoni ethu kunye nezigidi zeminyaka yokuzivelela ukuba sibekek 'ityala ngale nto. Umtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni uyaqhubeka nokudlala indima enkulu ekukhetheni iqabane lethu. Nangona kunjalo, iimfuno zobudlelwane bexesha elide zihamba ngaphezulu nangaphaya kwento iihormoni zethu ezinokusixelela yona!
Ukuba ubukhathalele ubudlelwane bexesha elide, jonga ezi mpawu zintathu zihlala zibamba izibini zingazi. Ayisiyiyo yonke loo nto. Zama ukuphendula imibuzo emine elula ukufumanisa imiba esisiseko kubudlelwane bakho-
1. Ukungalingani okulindelweyo
Uninzi lwezibini ziya kwenza iinzame eziqinisekileyo zokubonisa kuphela ezona zinto zibalaseleyo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Kodwa, njengoko ubudlelwane buya bukhula, imiba yokwenyani iqala ukuwa ngaphandle kwekhabethe. Ngequbuliso, ulwalamano lwenyama luyanyamalala! Izinto ziba nzima kwaye zinzima kunangaphambili. Umtyholwa, kule meko, akulindelanga ulindelo.
Nayi imibuzo elula eya kukunceda uqaphele ulindelo olungalunganga:
- Luluphi ulindelo oluphambili kwiqabane lakho?
- Zeziphi iinzame ezenziwa liqabane lakho ukuhlangabezana nolindelo lwakho oluphambili?
- Kwiveki ephelileyo, mangaphi la uthe hayi kwiqabane lakho?
- Kwiiveki ezine ezidlulileyo, kukangaphi ufikelela komnye umntu ngento ebefanele ukuba uyenzile iqabane lakho?
Ukuba iqabane lakho lisokola ukufikelela kulindelo lwakho oluphambili kwaye unoluhlu olude lwezinto onokuzithetha ngemibuzo 3 no-4, kuya kufuneka uqaphele.
2. Kukuzingca
Abanye bethu babona ubudlelwane njengelitye lokunyathela ukufezekisa into esondele entliziyweni yethu. Ayisiyonto imbi leyo. Kodwa, ukuxhaphaza ubudlelwane kwiimfuno zakho zobuqu kunye nokungayikhathaleli iminqweno yeqabane lakho kuyityhefu.
Zibuze le mibuzo ukufumanisa ukuba ngaba omnye wenu ulawula kwaye usebenzisa ubuqhetseba:
- Zeziphi iimeko apho ubeka khona iimfuno zeqabane lakho phambi kwakho?
- Ngaba kufuneka unamathele kwinkqubo ethile okanye ufune imvume kwiqabane lakho ukuze wenze izinto ozifunayo?
- Ngaba wakhe waziva ukuba iqabane lakho liyonakalisile iminqweno yakho?
- Wakha waziva umona ngempumelelo yeqabane lakho?
3. Ukubamba ingqumbo
Amaqabane ahlukana ngezizathu ezininzi. Ukukopa, ukunqongophala konxibelelwano, iimpikiswano eziqhubekayo, ukunqongophala kobudlelwane obusondeleyo zezinye zezizathu. Nangona kunjalo, uninzi lwezi zizathu kukubonakaliswa nje kwenqala ebambe ukungaziphathi kakuhle. Unokuba yindlela yokubulala indlela njengoko iinzondo zihlala zingaqondiswa kakuhle.
Zibuze le mibuzo ukuze ufumanise ukuba usebudlelwaneni kunye nenqala engasonjululwanga.
- Ngaba wena okanye iqabane lakho niyalibona ilizwe elimnyama nelimhlophe? Ngamanye amagama, umntu ulungile okanye uphosakele?
- Ngaba wena okanye iqabane lakho ninemicimbi yobuntwana ehlala isonjululwa (njengokuhlukunyezwa okanye ukushiywa)?
- Kwiiveki ezine ezidlulileyo, kukangaphi uxolisa ngokunyanisekileyo ngenxa yempazamo oyenzileyo?
- Kwiiveki ezine ezidlulileyo, kukangaphi wena okanye iqabane lakho nifumana impazamo kwizinto ezivakaliswe libaxa?
Yenza umzamo wokuqonda ezi mpawu zilumkisayo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuqonda ukuba kutheni unemicimbi kubudlelwane bakho linyathelo lokuqala lokulungisa.
USrinivas Krishnaswamy
USrinivas Krishnaswamy ngumseki weJodi Logik, iqonga le-Intanethi lokwenza iiprofayili ezenzelwe amaIndiya kwihlabathi liphela.. Ubhala malunga nobudlelwane, imitshato, kunye nothando lweblogi yeJodi Logik.