Umxholo
- Intsingiselo yomona
- 15 Iimpawu zomona kubudlelwane
- 1. Ukujonga kuwe ngokuphindaphindiweyo
- 2. Ukulandela emva kwakho
- 3. Ubanomsindo xa usenza into ngaphandle kwabo
- 4. Ukungenelela kwisangqa sakho sentlalo
- 5. Ukubuza ubuhlobo bakho nabanye abantu
- 7. Ukuxelela indlela yokunxiba
- 8. Musa ukubona okuhle kuwe
- 9. Ukukulandela
- 10. Ukuqhayisa xa ukhankanya omnye umntu
- 11. Ukutyhola ukukopela
- 12. Kukudimaza ekuphumeni
- 13. Ukulawula indlela oziphethe ngayo
- 14. Ukwenza uchaze wena
- 15. Ukuba nomsindo xa uncoma abanye
- 16. Ukufuna ukwazi malunga nexesha lakho elidlulileyo
- Amanyathelo ama-5 xa ujongana neqabane lakho elinomona
- 1. Qalisa incoko uzolile
- 2. Chaza indlela oziva ngayo
- 3. Buza ukuba batshintshe
- 4. Banike ithuba lokuba bathethe
- 5. Yivume impendulo okanye ushiye ikhefu
- Isiphelo
Ngokubanzi, abantu bacinga ukuba ngamanye amaxesha imiqondiso yomona kubudlelwane ayinabungozi kuba uninzi lwabantu aluthandi ukujongana nesoyikiso kulwalamano lwabo.
Ngelixa imiqondiso yesikhwele kubudlelwane ingeyonto inkulu ekuqaleni, kubalulekile ukuba ujonge umona ogqithileyo kubudlelwane. Ungabonisa ukungoneliseki kwakho xa iqabane lakho likhetha ukuba kunye nabanye abantu nokuba ujikeleze nabo okanye ubaxabisile ngakumbi.
Nangona kunjalo, umona ongenampilo ngezinto ezingenamsebenzi awamkelekanga njengoko unokonakalisa ulwalamano lwenu. Ngokophononongo, umona yenye yeempawu ezikhokelayo kubundlobongela basekhaya. Nangona oko akuthethi ukuba ulwalamano lobukhwele luhlala luyingozi, oko kuthetha ukuba umona ogqithisileyo unokuphelisa ubudlelwane bakho.
Ke, umona uthetha ntoni kubudlelwane?
Intsingiselo yomona
Umona yimvakalelo yomsindo okanye yenzondo xa umntu ecinga ukuba omnye umntu uzama ukufumana ingqalelo yesithandwa sakhe okanye iqabane lakhe. Abantu basebenzisa umona nomona ngokutshintshisanayo ukubonisa umnqweno womntu onamandla wokuba nezinto zomnye umntu. Nangona kunjalo, la magama mabini ahlukile.
Umona yimvakalelo yokuba nenzondo eyakhekayo xa ufuna izinto zomnye umntu okanye iimpawu zakhe. Ngokwahlukileyo, umona lulawulo onqwenela ukuba nalo phezu kwento okanye umntu osele eyakho. Yindlela yokukhusela uncamathiselo lwakho okanye ukubonisa ukongama okupheleleyo emntwini okanye kwinto ethile.
Iingcali zengqondo ziye zafunda umahluko phakathi kweempawu zomona kunye nekhwele ukwahlula phakathi koonobangela kunye nendlela ezichaphazela ngayo isimilo. Umona wenza abantu banqwenele izinto kunye neempawu zabanye abantu. Nangona kunjalo, umona ubenza bangazithembi ngento ethile okanye umntu osele ekhona ebomini babo.
15 Iimpawu zomona kubudlelwane
Xa umntu esebudlelwaneni, kunokuba nzima ukuxelela ukuba umona sele uyinto exhalabisayo.
Ukuba ukrokrela iimpawu zobukhwele kubudlelwane obukubo, kwaye ungathanda ukwazi ukuba ungazibona njani, jonga le miqondiso ili-15 yobukhwele bobudlelwane:
1. Ukujonga kuwe ngokuphindaphindiweyo
Uyakwazi ukubona ukuba umntu unomona ngokujonga ukuba ujonga kangakanani kuwe. Ukufumana izicatshulwa ezimbalwa okanye iifowuni kuthetha ukuba iqabane lakho liyikhathalele impilo yakho. Kodwa xa iqabane lakho lifowuna ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ngakumbi xa uphumile nabahlobo, luphawu oluxeliweyo lomona kubudlelwane.
Unxibelelwano lubalulekile kulo naluphi na ulwalamano, kodwa izifundo zibonise ukuba ukusebenzisa itekhnoloji ukunxibelelana rhoqo neqabane lakho kunokunciphisa ulwaneliseko lobuhlobo kakhulu.
2. Ukulandela emva kwakho
Ukulandela iqabane lakho kwiminyhadala yindlela ebalaseleyo yokwakha iqhina elomeleleyo.
Nangona kunjalo, xa iqabane lakho liziva lifuna ukukulandela kuyo yonke indawo okanye licaphuke xa usithi masihlale ngasemva, luphawu lobukhwele bobudlelwane. Amaqabane ayaxhamla ngokunikana indawo, kuba iyabanceda ukuba baphephe ukuphulukana nolwalamano lwabo.
3. Ubanomsindo xa usenza into ngaphandle kwabo
Ukuchitha ixesha elibalulekileyo kunye neqabane lakho yindlela yokuqinisa ubudlelwane bakho kunye nokwakha ubuhlobo. Xa uhlukana nabo, kunokuba ngathi kukho into engekhoyo, eqhelekileyo. Kodwa ukuba iqabane lakho liyacaphuka xa usenza into ngaphandle kwabo, kubonisa umona ogqithileyo.
Isibini sinezinto ezahlukeneyo zokuzonwabisa apho bonwabela ixesha lam. Iququzelela ubudlelwane obonwabileyo nobusempilweni. Ukutshaya xa iqabane lakho ligqiba ukonwaba nabahlobo babo okanye kwenye indawo kubonisa umqondiso wokuziphatha komona.
4. Ukungenelela kwisangqa sakho sentlalo
Olunye lweempawu zekhwele kubudlelwane kuxa iqabane lakho lihlala lihlasela iindibano zakho zoluntu ungaxelwanga.
Umzekelo, iqabane lakho linokuthi gqi liphume kumhlobo wakho, konke egameni lokujonga wena. Banokuma kwindawo osebenzela kuyo xa ukwintlanganiso.
5. Ukubuza ubuhlobo bakho nabanye abantu
Ukubuza imibuzo malunga nabantu kubomi beqabane lakho kuyinto eqhelekileyo njengoko kuyindlela yokubazi ngcono.
Nangona kunjalo, xa iqabane lakho lifuna ukwazi yonke into malunga nobudlelwane bakho nabanye abantu, luphawu oluphazamisayo lomona. Musa ukumangaliswa xa bekubuza ngeenxa zonke ukuqinisekisa yonke into obaxelele yona.
7. Ukuxelela indlela yokunxiba
Xa iqabane lakho linyanzelisa ukuba unxibe ilokhwe ethile okanye ulungise iinwele, luphawu lomona kubudlelwane.
Abantu banomfanekiso wendlela abafuna ukujonga ngayo amaqabane abo, kodwa abanakubanga. Ukwazi apho ukrwela khona umgca kubonisa ubudlelwane obunempilo.
8. Musa ukubona okuhle kuwe
Enye yeempawu zekhwele kubudlelwane kuxa iqabane lakho likujongela phantsi kwaye likwenza uzive umncinci.
Endaweni yokukukhuthaza nokukuxhasa, bakucenga ukuba ushiye iprojekthi ngasemva kwaye bacebise umbono ophantsi ukuba uzame.
9. Ukukulandela
Omnye umqondiso wobudlelwane bobukhwele kuxa iqabane lakho likubetha xa uphuma okanye ukwiakhawunti yakho yemidiya yoluntu.
Banokuqesha umntu ukuba akubeke esweni, atyhale iakhawunti yakho, okanye afune ukwazi ukuba kutheni unezincoko ezithile. Xa uqaphela ukulandela, likhwele elingafanelekanga.
Jonga le vidiyo inokukunceda uchonge iimpawu zokuhamba:
10. Ukuqhayisa xa ukhankanya omnye umntu
Ukuba uzibuze, "Ikhwele livakalelwa njani?" jonga indlela iqabane lakho eliphendula ngayo xa ukhankanya igama lomnye umntu.
Banokuba nomsindo okanye bakubuze ngokungaphaya ukuze wazi ubudlelwane bakho nalo mntu naxa omnye umntu eyitshomi yakho okanye umntu osebenza naye emsebenzini.
11. Ukutyhola ukukopela
Isimangalo esingalunganga sokukopela sisiphelo sayo yonke eminye imiqondiso yomona kulwalamano.
Ewe, sisimangalo esiqhelekileyo esivela kumntu onomona ogqithisileyo. Ukuqhula neqabane lakho kuqhelekile, kodwa xa yonke incoko ijikeleze ukukopa xa ingachanekanga, kuya kufuneka ulumke ngakumbi.
12. Kukudimaza ekuphumeni
Umona ogqithileyo uzityhila xa iqabane lakho likuyekisa ukuphuma.
Iqabane elinomona lifuna ukukubona ecaleni kwabo ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye bakhetha umlo omncinci ngalo naliphi na ixesha ukhe uphume. Impikiswano sisiphumo ngqo somona wabo esekwe kwingqondo engakhuselekanga.
13. Ukulawula indlela oziphethe ngayo
Xa iqabane lakho lifuna ukuba wenze ngendlela ethile, yenye yeempawu zekhwele kubudlelwane. Umzekelo, ukuba iqabane lakho likuxelela ukuba ulincome kwimidiya yoluntu okanye likuxelele ukuba uhlale emva kwabo ngelixa besombulula iingxaki zakho, luphawu olucacileyo lokuziphatha.
Ingcali kwezonyango uKamalyn Kaur uqaphele ukuba indlela yokuziphatha elawula ubudlelwane ikhathaza ukuzithemba komntu olawulwayo kunye nokuba sempilweni ngokweemvakalelo. Kukumdla wakhe wonke umntu ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obunjalo.
14. Ukwenza uchaze wena
Enye indlela yokubona umona kuxa iqabane lakho lifuna iinkcukacha ngayo yonke into oyenzayo kunye nabantu odibana nabo.
Iingcali zengqondo uSharon Martin unika iinkcukacha malunga nokuzithethelela, ukuphikisana, ukuzikhusela, kunye nokuzicacisa (JADE) ukuphawula ubudlelwane obungenampilo kwiindlela zonxibelelwano ezichaphazela umntu kunye nobudlelwane.
15. Ukuba nomsindo xa uncoma abanye
Ukuba ufuna ukujonga ukuba iqabane lakho linomona okanye hayi, qaphela indlela abasabela ngayo xa unika abanye ukuncoma okulula.
Ukuxabisa abanye nokuba sele usebudlelwaneni akuthethi ukuba uyakopa. Xa amaqabane akho ephosa umsindo ngenxa yokuncoma okungenabungozi, awanqabisekanga, abonisa iimpawu zokumona.
16. Ukufuna ukwazi malunga nexesha lakho elidlulileyo
Nokuba ulwalamano lwakho lwangaphambili alubalulekanga, iqabane elinemiqondiso yomona lifuna ukwazi zonke iinkcukacha. Kwaye ukuba uthi hayi, baya kuba nomsindo. Ukungazithembi kuqhuba umnqweno wabo okhulayo wokufunda ngakumbi malunga nexesha lakho elidlulileyo rhoqo.
Amanyathelo ama-5 xa ujongana neqabane lakho elinomona
Ukuba usenomnqweno wokwenza ulwalamano lwakho lusebenze, ungaqala utshintsho olusombulula le miqondiso yomona kubudlelwane.
Jonga la manyathelo alandelayo ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho malunga nomona wabo obonakalayo:
1. Qalisa incoko uzolile
Qinisekisa ukuba awenzi kubonakale ngathi banengxaki.
Endaweni yoko, yibonise ngathi yingxaki ongathanda ukuyisombulula kunye ukuqhubela phambili ubudlelwane. Inokukunceda njengoko ingagcina iqabane lakho lingaziva livalekile, elinokuthi libenze bavuleke ngakumbi kwincoko.
2. Chaza indlela oziva ngayo
Thetha iimvakalelo zakho ngokunyaniseka nangokunyaniseka. Zama ukunganciphisi magama malunga nendlela oziva ngayo kukuziphatha kwabo.
Chaza ngokucacileyo ukuba yintoni ukuqonda kwakho kobudlelwane obusempilweni kwaye ulindele ntoni ukuya phambili. Qiniseka kwaye ungangxolisi, njengoko unelungelo lokuba kubudlelwane obanelisa iimfuno zakho.
3. Buza ukuba batshintshe
Bazise ukuba uyafuna ukuba batshintshe izenzo zabo okanye indlela abathetha ngayo nawe.
Ukucela utshintsho olulungileyo oluya kunceda ubudlelwane bakho ayisiyokuzingca nangayiphi na indlela. Ukuthatha isigqibo ngokuthatha isigqibo kungabonisa ubuzaza bomcimbi lowo kwiqabane lakho.
4. Banike ithuba lokuba bathethe
Kungcono ukumamela nengcaciso yabo.
Zama ukuba ungahambi kakhulu nezikhalazo zakho ukuze ulibale ukubanika ithuba lokuthetha. Ukuziva kuyakukunceda uqonde izinto ngcono kwaye ucwangcise izenzo zakho ngokufanelekileyo.
5. Yivume impendulo okanye ushiye ikhefu
Okwangoku, impendulo yeqabane lakho iya kumisela apho ubudlelwane buhamba buye khona.
Ukuba badakumbile kwaye bayazamkela iimpazamo zabo, unokubaxelela ukuba uyakuxabisa ukunyaniseka kwabo kwaye uceba ukwenza izinto zisebenze. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ababoni nto iphosakeleyo ngezenzo zabo, isenokuba lixesha lokuba uphinde uphonononge isikhundla sakho kwaye uhambe.
Isiphelo
Ubudlelwane buza neempawu zabo, kubandakanya neempawu zomona kubudlelwane.
Umona ngamanye amaxesha uqhelekile, kodwa umona ogqithisileyo unokuba yingozi kuye wonke umntu obandakanyekayo. Ukuba ukrokrela ukuba iqabane lakho linotyekelo oluthile kwaye ungathanda ukwazi ukuba ungazibona njani, nikela ingqalelo kwiimpawu ezidweliswe kweli nqaku.