Umxholo
- 1. Izinto ezikutsalile kwiqabane lakho zizinto ezikucaphukisayo ngoku
- 2. Unenzondo kumlingane wakho kodwa awunakuthetha
- 3. Jonga nomlingane wakho ukuba ngaba uziva into efanayo
- 4. Thembeka, kodwa ungoyikisi
Uye wanandipha ubudlelwane obunokuthula kunye nothando iminyaka embalwa. Kodwa mva nje, kukho into ebeziva yahlukile. Wena neqabane lakho nibonakala ningadibani kangako kwezi ntsuku, nokuba kungenxa yomsebenzi, umdla wangaphandle, okanye nobabini nichitha ixesha elininzi kwi-intanethi. Incoko yakho inikwe umda kulawulo lwamalungiselelo endlu kunye nabantwana, kwaye awunakukhumbula ixesha lokugqibela owabelana ngesondo ngalo. Ulwalamano lwakho lusengxakini. Yintoni ongayenza ukubuyisela izinto emgceni?
Qala ngokuchonga iindawo ezinengxaki. Khomba indawo ezithile ezichithekileyo
1. Izinto ezikutsalile kwiqabane lakho zizinto ezikucaphukisayo ngoku
Ayisiyonto ingaqhelekanga le kwizibini ezitshatileyo. Uthandile ukuba iqabane lakho lalingumntu wenene "wenyama kunye neetapile" xa wawuqala ukudibana. Ukupheka kuye kwakulula: ukuba nje ibiyinyama ebomvu, wayevuya. Kodwa ngoku ujonge ukuzama indlela eyahlukileyo yokupheka; izitya ezibandakanya imifuno kunye nokukhetha okunempilo. Umlingane wakho akaluqondi olu tshintsho lutsha, okanye ukunyanzelisa kwakho ukuba avule ukutya ukutya okukhethiweyo. Njalo xa uphuma kwaye uyalela i-burger, uziva ukuba umsindo wakho uyanda. Oku kuchaphazela ulwalamano lwakho.
Isisombululo esisebenzisekayo kolu hlobo lweemeko-apho elinye iqabane litshintsha kakhulu lisuka kumntu ebebekulo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane-kukwamkela umahluko omtsha. Endaweni yokulwa nokungaguquguquki komntu ofuna ukuqhubeka esenza oko ebehlala esenza, kutheni ungathathi enye indlela kolu tshintsho? Bhiyozela ukuba unokhetho olwahlukileyo kwaye ushiye kuloo nto. Awunakho ukwenza omnye umntu atshintshe, kwaye akufuneki ufune ukwenza njalo. (Oko kukulawula ngokukhululekileyo.) Kodwa wena unako Yonwabele indlela yakho entsha yokutya ngokwakho, kungekho zifundo okanye izimvo malunga nokuziphatha okuya kuthi ngokuqinisekileyo kukhokelele kwiimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo phakathi kwakho. Ngubani owaziyo? Emva kokuba iqabane lakho lijonge kakuhle into ekwipleyiti yakho kunye nendlela oziva ngayo ngesicwangciso sakho sokutya esitsha, unokuhendeka ukuba abeke phantsi isitya kwaye akujoyine. Kodwa kufuneka ibe sisigqibo sakhe. (Ungavuya ngasese, nangona kunjalo.)
2. Unenzondo kumlingane wakho kodwa awunakuthetha
Oku kunokuba yimeko enetyhefu ukuba awuthathi manyathelo. Ukuzivavulela iimvakalelo — ngokufuthi ukuze uphephe umlo — kunokukhokelela kuqhekeko lobuhlobo ukuba lwenziwa rhoqo. Nobabini kufuneka nifunde indlela yokunxibelelana ngembeko, ngaphandle kokoyika ukugxekwa okanye ukucaphukisa. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ufikelele kwinqanaba kubudlelwane bakho apho uzixelela khona "Akufanelekanga ukuba uthethe ngako, akukho nto ingatshintsha," akukho nto Ngaba Uhlala utshintsha. Nangona kuyinyani ukuba uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo babuyela kwimpikiswano enye, kaninzi, kukho ithemba kwizibini ezifuna ngokwenyani ukugqitha kwezi ndawo "zibambekayo". Ukugcina izinto ngaphakathi ukugcina uxolo akuloncedo. Qala ngokuvulela iqabane lakho. Ukuba kukho imfuneko, yenza oku ngoncedo lobuchwephesha bolwalamano onokukhokela incoko ngeendlela ezakhayo. Kodwa musa ukuthula okanye ulwalamano lwakho luya kuhlala lunengxaki.
3. Jonga nomlingane wakho ukuba ngaba uziva into efanayo
Le ncoko kufuneka yenzeke xa nobabini ninokuhlala phantsi nibelane ngeemvakalelo zenu ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa ngabantwana, umabonwakude, okanye iminxeba enokuphazamisa umzuzu. Cwangcisa ixesha lokwenza olu phawu lubalulekileyo kwimpilo yolwalamano lwakho xa usazi ukuba unokuchitha iiyure ezimbalwa kuyo. Unokuvula incoko ngomyalezo olungileyo othi “Ndi”, onje ngokuba “Ndiva ngathi asikhathalelanga ngokwaneleyo omnye komnye mva nje. Ndiyakukhumbula. Ngaba ucinga ukuba singabuthintela ubusuku bosuku ukuze sihlale sipholile kunye kwaye siphinde sinxibelelane? ” Le yindlela esebenzayo, engamangaleliyo yokuqhubela iqabane lakho ekwabelaneni ngento eliye lahlangabezana nayo, nayo. Qiniseka ukuba umamele ngenyameko kwinxalenye yakhe yencoko ukuze azi ukuba uyayixabisa into ayiqwalaseleyo malunga nokuba yeyiphi ingxaki enokubakho kulwalamano lwakho.
4. Thembeka, kodwa ungoyikisi
Ukuba unokukhomba iindawo ezithile ezinengxaki, kunokuba yindlela elungileyo yokufumanisa ukuba yeyiphi ekufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo. Kodwa oku kufuneka kwenziwe ngobuntununtunu kunye neliso ekufumaneni isisombululo; awufuni ukuba oku kujike kube ngumdlalo wokusola. “Sekuyiminyaka oko sasidlala intenetya kunye. Kutheni singajongi nje ekuthatheni izifundo kwizibini ezitshatileyo? ” izandi zibhetele kunokuthi “Awusoze udlale intenetya nam. Ndicinga ukuba ndiza kuseka izifundo zabucala kunye naloo mqeqeshi uselula kwiklabhu. ” Khumbula, awufuni ukubhengeza umba kwaye uwushiye ethangeni lomlingane wakho ukuze ulungise. Isitshixo sokubuyisa ulwalamano lwakho kukusebenzela ukufumana isisombululo ngeendlela enizixhasayo nizimisele ukuzibophelela kuzo.
Kubalulekile ukuba ungatshayeli nje iingxaki zobudlelwane phantsi kombhoxo, ngethemba lokuba ziya kunyamalala zodwa. Oku kunqabile ukuba zisebenza njani izinto. Inzondo ethuleyo iya kwakha, njengoxinzelelo kwimbiza egqunyiweyo, kude kube lusuku olunye konke kuza kuqhushumbo olukhulu lomsindo. Ingozi yokuvumela izinto zakhiwe ngoluhlobo kukuba xa sisenza ngomsindo, sinokuthetha okanye senze izinto ekunzima ukuzilungisa. Ngelixa ingxaki yobudlelwane ithambekele kwangoko ngaphambi kokuba imiba inyuke, kulula kakhulu ukufumana iindlela zokulungisa nokwakha kwakhona nayiphi na into efuna ukulungiswa. Olu luphawu lobudlelwane obuhle: ukukwazi ukunxibelelana ngemicimbi ngendlela enesidima ukuze iingxaki ezincinci zilungiswe ngaphambi kokuba zibe ziingxaki ezonakalisa ubudlelwane.