Umxholo
- Ukuvavanya ulonwabo olunokubakho kwikamva
- Ukuthemba ukuba iqabane lakho liza kutshintsha ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ukuze ube liqabane lakho elifanelekileyo
- Uxinzelelo kwezentlalo
- Akukho mntu unethemba lokuba ngumzali osele ekhulile
- Ifuthe labangani
- Umbono wetonela
- Into onokuyenza
- Thatha uluhlu lwempahla
- Zibuze imibuzo efana nale
- Zama ukunyaniseka kwisiqu sakho
Ngaba unomdla wokutshata kunokuba unalo mntu utshata naye?
Oku kunokubonakala ngathi ngumbuzo ongaqhelekanga kodwa mnye, njengonyango, ndizifumana ndizibuza ngamanye amaxesha. Ukucacisa, ihlala ibafazi ndizibuza oku.
Ndiqaphele umxholo ojikeleze abantu basetyhini abazinze kwimeko engonelisiyo ngethemba lokuba iya kukhokelela emtshatweni kunye nosapho. Ayisiyiyo le kuphela, kodwa babeke ubomi babo ekumeni ukukhuthaza inkqubo.
Ukuvavanya ulonwabo olunokubakho kwikamva
Eli nqaku limisele ukulungisa le ndlela inokwenzeka kwaye linike abasetyhini izixhobo zokubanceda bavavanye ukonwaba kwabo kwixesha elizayo kubudlelwane babo bangoku.
Ndichithe ixesha elininzi lomsebenzi wam wokuthetha nabantu "ngesigaba sasemva komtshato" sobudlelwane babo kwaye ndicinga ukuba kulapho abantu abaninzi babambeke khona.
Isigaba sokuqala solwalamano oluninzi luyonwabisa kwaye sinokuvuya. Ngokwesiqhelo, omabini amaqabane abeka iinyawo zawo phambili kwaye azama ukubonisa omnye komnye. Ngeendlela ezininzi, omabini amaqabane abeka umboniso. Kumava am, oku kuhlala kungunobangela wokuba abantu bahlale kubudlelwane ixesha elide kunokuba befanele.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uthetha izinto ezinje, "Ndinqwenela nje ukuba iqabane lam lingabuyela kulomntu babenjalo xa ndadibana nabo.", Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukulesi sikhephe. Unethemba lokuba iqabane lakho liza kubuyela kulowo uthandane naye. Iyavakala kakhulu. Kubudlelwane obuninzi, inguqulelo yesigaba sasemva komtshato yeqabane ibuya amaxesha ngamaxesha ihlaziya ithemba lethu.
Ukuthemba ukuba iqabane lakho liza kutshintsha ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ukuze ube liqabane lakho elifanelekileyo
Olunye uhlobo loku kukufuna okanye unethemba lokuba iqabane lakho liya kutshintsha ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo ukuze ube liqabane lakho elifanelekileyo. Oku kunokuba ithambeka elimtyibilizi kunye nento onokuthi uyiqwalasele.
Kukho umahluko phakathi kokuthanda umntu ngaphandle kweziphene zabo kwaye unethemba lokuba baya kujika babe ngumntu onokumthanda okanye uzive uthandwa nguye.
Uxinzelelo kwezentlalo
Ndingathanda ukwamkela uxinzelelo abajamelana nalo abasetyhini malunga nokutshata kunye nokuqala usapho.
Nokuba ukuva oku koontanga, kwimithombo yeendaba, kusapho lwakho okanye kwimeko yakho, olu xinzelelo lunokuba lukhulu. Kwabafazi, oku kudityaniswa ne-biology kunye noloyiko lokuba ukulinda ixesha elide kuya kukushiya unokhetho olunqongopheleyo lokuba nosapho.
Ngaphandle kwento yokuba abantu ababhinqileyo babeleka kamva nasemva kobomi kusekho abanye abantu abazinzileyo nomntu ophakathi kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini kwaye baqala indlela yabo yokukhulisa abantwana.
Ngaphandle kwamanqaku malunga nabantu abadumileyo abazala kwiminyaka yabo engamashumi amane ukuya kwiintsana ezisempilweni, sondliwa ngandlela thile ngombono wokuba isibeleko sethu siyoma okanye ukuba simiselwe ukuba nemicimbi yokuzala engenakoyiswa.
Akukho mntu unethemba lokuba ngumzali osele ekhulile
Oku kudityaniswa nembono yokuba akukho mntu unethemba lokuba ngumzali osele ekhulile onokutyhala uxinzelelo kwizinto eziphezulu kwaye enze isiphango esifanelekileyo sokulungiselela iqabane elingaphantsi kunqwenelekayo kwixa elizayo ukuthintela ukubakho kokuphoswa lithuba lakho lokuba nabantwana kunye nosapho. .
Abanye abantu, oku kuyaphumelela. Nangona kunjalo, oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni uzive ubambekile kwimeko apho ubotshelelwe kumntu ongonwabanga naye ngenxa yomntwana wakho okanye abantwana bakho.
Ifuthe labangani
Andikholelwa ukuba uxinzelelo lokukhuphisana noontanga bethu lonyukile. Nangona kunjalo, ndiyabona ukuba imithombo yeendaba zentlalo ikhokelele ekuthatheni ukhuphiswano lwethu. Yiforamu yabantu yokubeka ingxelo ebhalwe kakuhle yokwenyani yabo.
Kwiminyaka ethile, kuqala ukuziva ngathi wonke umntu uyabandakanyeka, uyatshata okanye unabantwana. Xa oku kuyinjongo yakho kodwa awukho ngqo apho ubuthemba ukuba uya kuba khona kunokuziva kukhathazekile kwaye kubuhlungu. Ikwenza ukuba kube lula ngakumbi ukuba ubani atsalele kwizinto ezikufutshane nokuba azivakali ngokupheleleyo.
Uluvo lokuba unokufumana ezinye zezinto ozifunayo lunokugqitha ulonwabo lwakho ngokubanzi.
Eli lixesha apho amaqabane angaphambili abonakala enomtsalane ukuba aqala ukubandakanya. Unokuba noluhlu lwezizathu zokuba ubudlelwane abuzange busebenze kwaye unethemba lokuba banokutshintsha okanye bakhule okoko izinto ziphelile.
Umbono wetonela
Oku kusikhokelela kumbono wetonela. Abanye abantu, bajolisa kakhulu kwingcinga yokuba sisibini kunye / okanye ukutshata. Into eqhelekileyo kukuba emva koko bajonge kancinci kubo nakuphuhliso lwabo ngakumbi nangakumbi ekwenzeni ubudlelwane busebenze.
Baza kuhlala bevumela iqabane ukuba liwele imida ethile ngethemba lokuba impendulo yabo ekhululekile iya kwenza ukuthanda kweqabane lakho.
Banokuzithintela ezabo iimvakalelo ngenxa yokoyika ukuba iqabane labo liza kucinywa ngokubonisa ukungonwabi okuncinci okanye amava abo njenge-nag. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo, bahamba ngamaqokobhe amaqanda bezama ukonwabisa amaqabane abo xa bona bengekho.
Konke oku kunethemba lokuba iqabane liya kubathanda ngakumbi. Phantse ulwandiso lwenqanaba lokutshata. Inqanaba ngoku lisetelwe ukuba ungaze ufumane le nto uyifunayo. Xa sigoba ngasemva ukwenza abanye bonwabe, ngokungathandabuzekiyo intuthuzelo yethu ayibalulekanga kwaye inzondo iyakha.
Ebomini, xa sityhala ecaleni iimfuno zethu ziyasifumana ngandlela thile.
Into onokuyenza
Zonke ezi zinto zichaphazela ubudlelwane bakho bexesha elizayo kulula ukuzibona xa ujonga. Ndiyazi abantu abaninzi abanokundixelela ukuba bayazi ukuba izinto zazingalunganga ngaphambi kokuba batshate kwaye ngoku baqhawule umtshato. Ungazigcina njani ungangeni kuwamandla afanayo?
Thatha uluhlu lwempahla
Ndicebisa ukuba uthathe ubomi bakho kwaye uzibuze imibuzo ebalulekileyo. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ngeempendulo eziqondakalayo; imibuzo yobomi ayilula.
Kunokuba luncedo ukuthetha nonyango olunokukunceda ukhuphe into oyifunayo kunye nezinto ozifunayo xa kuthelekiswa nezinto onazo ngoku.
Zibuze imibuzo efana nale
Ngaba ndilandela ukuthanda kwam / umdla wam?
Ngaba ndijolise ekukhuleni nasekukhuleni kwam?
Ngaba iqabane lam liyakuxhasa ukukhula kwam?
Ndifuna ntoni kwiqabane kwaye ndiyayifumana le ndiyifunayo?
Ngaba ndonwabile kulwalamano lwam lwangoku?
Ngaba mna neqabane lam sithethile ngento esiyifunayo kwixesha elizayo?
Ngaba ngokwenene siphepha elinye?
Ngaba ndiziva ndikhuselekile xa ndinokuthetha oko ndikucingayo kunye nendlela endiziva ngayo?
Ngaba iqabane lam liyazimamela iingxaki zam kwaye lizama ukundiqonda?
Ngaba sobabini sizama ukusombulula ezona ngxaki zethu ziphambili?
Unokuzibuza ukuba ingaba izicwangciso zakho zekamva ziqhutywa kukukhathazeka okanye kukonwaba kwakho.
Zama ukunyaniseka kwisiqu sakho
Andicebisi ukuba nabani na akalunganga ngokufuna ukutshata kwaye aqale ikamva nomntu. Ndiziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndithethe ngento eyenzekayo xa ubeka loo njongo phambi kwakho.
Sivame ukuva malunga "nokuhlala phantsi" okanye "ukuhlala ngokulula". Ndiyakholelwa ekubeni unakho konke ukuba unyanisekile kwiimfuno zakho kwaye wenze iimfuno zakho zaziwe. Kungathatha ixesha ukufumana iqabane elifanelekileyo.
Xa uziva ungxamile okanye ucinezelwewe kungasiphazamisa isigwebo sakho.
Abantu bahlala bekulinganisa ukutshata nokonwaba. Ayiloyeza lokunyanga. Inyaniso mayixelelwe abanye babantu abanesithukuthezi endibaziyo abatshatileyo. Umtshato, nkqu kumntu olungileyo, unzima kwaye ufuna umsebenzi. Thatha ixesha lakho. Ufanele zonke izinto ezilungileyo.