Umxholo
- 1. Uyadika
- 2. Ulilolo
- 3. Ukubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo
- 4. Ukuziphindezela ngesondo
- 5. Akazithembanga
- 6. Usemtshatweni ongabelani ngesondo
- 7. Uzalisa isikhewu esingokweemvakalelo
- 8. Kuba unako
Ngaba unokusola ngokungathandabuzekiyo ukuba umfazi wakho akathembekanga kwi-100%? Isifundo kwizibini ezitshatileyo esahlukileyo sifumanise ukuba i-19% yabasetyhini kubudlelwane obunzulu baxele ukukopela kumaqabane abo. Iinkcukacha-manani zibonisa ukuba nabasetyhini abathi bayonwabile emitshatweni bayavuma ukuthatha isithandwa ecaleni.
Ngaphandle kolu hlolisiso luphandwe kakuhle, abasetyhini abanamathuba okuba babonwa njengabakhohlisi ngendlela efanayo namadoda. Ngaba kungenxa yokuba abasetyhini ngokubanzi bakopela uthando endaweni yezemidlalo, okanye ngaba bangcono ngokufihla imikhondo yabo? Iimpendulo zisenokumangalisa.
Nazi izizathu ezi-8 zokuba kutheni abafazi bekopa
1. Uyadika
Amaqabane athambekele kwiincopho kunye neentlambo ebudeni bomtshato wabo. Ukuba kubudlelwane bexesha elide, ukuzibophelela kuthetha ukuba ukunye nomntu omnye imihla nezolo. Ngelixa oku kukhokelela kwiimpawu ezintle ebomini ezinje ngentuthuzelo, uzinzo nothando, inokubangela abanye ukuba bazive bekruqukile, ngamanye amaxesha, nolwalamano.
Ezi mvakalelo zokudinwa ziza kwaye ziqhubeke kulo lonke ubudlelwane. Kodwa, xa echaphazeleka kwezinye izinto ezinjengokungavisisani emtshatweni, umfazi unokuhendeka ukuba aqalise into ngaphandle komtshato wakhe. Unokuziva ngathi le yindlela yokunonga ubomi bakhe, ukuba abe nento enomdla ajonge kuyo okanye asenokuthi uyayenza "ukusindisa umtshato" ngokwenza okuthile kuye.
2. Ulilolo
Ngelixa owasetyhini enokuphambuka emtshatweni wakhe ukonwaba ngokwasemzimbeni, izizathu zokungathembeki kwabasetyhini ubukhulu becala ziimvakalelo. Esinye sezizathu zokuba lilolo. Ukuba iqabane lakhe lihlala lisemsebenzini, liphuma nabahlobo, okanye lidiniwe kakhulu ukuba lingamnika uthando kunye nesiqinisekiso asifunayo, isilingo sakhe sokukopela siyenyuka.
Ukungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwesondo liqabane kunokubangela umntu azive elilolo kwaye edandathekile. Ezi mvakalelo zinokuthambekisa umntu wasetyhini ukuba afune ukuqinisekiswa kunye nokunxibelelana komzimba kwenye indawo.
3. Ukubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo
Ayisiyonto ithi ukuba umntu wasetyhini ukwibudlelwane obuhlukumezanayo ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokwasemzimbeni, mancinci amathuba okuba ahlale ethembekile.
Ukulawula kunye nokuhlukumeza amaqabane kunokudiliza umfazi kwaye kumenze azive ngathi akafanelekanga nantoni na elungileyo. Oku kunokubangela ukuba afune uthando, intlonipho kunye nokuqinisekiswa ngaphandle komtshato.
4. Ukuziphindezela ngesondo
Ukuziphindezela-ngesondo, ngelishwa, sisizathu esiqhelekileyo sokungathembeki kwabasetyhini. Ukufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakhe belingathembekanga kuyayityumza intliziyo yomfazi kunye nokuzazisa kwakhe, ngenxa yoko unokujonga isondo ngaphandle kolwalamano njengendlela yokuphilisa iimvakalelo zakhe ezibuhlungu. Okanye, ubuncinci umnike ukuzithemba.
Ukuba owasetyhini ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakhe liyabandakanyeka kwimicimbi engaphandle komtshato, usenokuphamba ukuze enzakalise iqabane lakhe ngendlela elimonzakalise ngayo. Unokukhetha umntu osondeleyo kwiqabane lakhe ukuba abelane naye, njengomntakwenu okanye umhlobo osondeleyo, ukuze abenzakalise.
5. Akazithembanga
Ngelixa lilize kwaye linzulu kwindalo, esinye sezizathu zokungathembeki kwabasetyhini sinento yokwenza nokuziphatha kwakhe.
Kukho uxinzelelo oluninzi kwabasetyhini ukuba baphile ngokuhambelana nemigangatho yoluntu yobuhle. Oku kunokumenza i-ego ibe yinto eethe-ethe, ngakumbi ukuba akahambelani nomzimba omncinci okanye owamkelekileyo we-hourglass ophakanyiswe kumajelo eendaba.
Nokuba liqabane elingakanani elinokuqinisekisa umfazi wakhe ngomtsalane kuye, anganqwenela ukuliva komnye umntu. Kufuneka azive ngathi usenqweneleka njengomfazi kwaye unokufuna ubudlelwane bezesondo ngaphandle komtshato wakhe ukwanelisa ukungazithembi kwakhe.
6. Usemtshatweni ongabelani ngesondo
Umtshato ongenasondo uyacaphukisa kubo bobabini abatshatileyo. Omnye unomnqweno wabo wesondo kunye neemvakalelo zonxibelelwano kunye nokuthanda ukungakhathalelwa, ngelixa elinye liziva linyanzelwa ukuba lenze ngokwesondo xa kungenjalo.
Uphando olwenziwe ngumbhali uStephen Davidowich lufumanise ukuba igama elithi "umtshato ongabelani ngesondo" ubuziwe kukhangelo lukaGoogle ngabasebenzisi abangama-21,000 inyanga nenyanga. Ezi zibalo ziyothusa, kwaye iziphumo ezinjalo zikhangela amanye amagama athandwayo anjengokuthi "umtshato ongonwabanga". Ukuhlala kumtshato ongabelani ngesondo kuthwala kunye neengxaki zomtshato, kubandakanya ukungathembeki.
Akufanele kusimangalise ke, ukuba esinye isizathu sokukopela kwabasetyhini kungenxa yokungabikho kolwabelana ngesondo kubudlelwane, nokuba kungonelisi ngesondo, isondo elingenaxhala, okanye ukuhlala kubudlelwane obungenasondo.
7. Uzalisa isikhewu esingokweemvakalelo
Kukho ngaphezulu kokukopela kunokwabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala. Abasetyhini abaninzi bafuna imicimbi yeemvakalelo ukuze bavale isikhewu emtshatweni wakhe. Ubudlelwane bumalunga nothando, ubuqabane, intlonipho kunye nokuthembana. Ukuba umfazi uziva ngathi akafumani luthando lwaneleyo okanye ingqalelo kwiqabane lakhe kunokwenzeka ukuba aphambuke ngaphandle komtshato. Imicimbi yeemvakalelo, okanye "imicimbi yentliziyo" ibandakanya ukwanelisa intswelo yeemvakalelo okanye yengqondo yomnye umntu ongelilo iqabane lakho.
Ngelixa ukukopa ngokweemvakalelo kuhlala kubandakanya ukuzityand 'igila emntwini ngendlela obuya kwenza ngayo neqabane lakho lomtshato, kusenokubandakanya intetho engcolileyo, isithembiso sobudlelwane bexesha elizayo, ukutshintshiselana ngeefoto ngokungathandekiyo kwaye kungakhokelela nakwinto eyenzeka emzimbeni.
8. Kuba unako
Imicimbi kukungcatsha okwenzakalisayo kumntu omthandayo, kwaye isiphithiphithi esinokuthi sishiywe sisithandane asichaphazeli amaqabane atshatileyo kuphela kodwa nosapho olongezelelekileyo kunye nabaphi na abantwana ababandakanyekayo. Nangona kunjalo, ngokufanayo nangamadoda, abanye abantu ababhinqileyo benza ukungathembeki ngenxa yokuba benakho okanye ngenxa yokuba ukhetho luzivezile. Abasetyhini abaninzi bacinga ngento yokuthandana njengobushushu, isini, kwaye bayisebenzise njengendlela yokufumana ukoneliseka ngokwasemzimbeni okanye banokufumana ukungxama kwiihomoni kunye nedopamine ekhutshwe yimfihlo.
Iingcinga zokugqibela
Ukungathembeki kwabasetyhini kuyinto eqhelekileyo njengokukhohlisa emadodeni- uyifihla ngcono. Inyani yile, abafazi bayakhohlisa ngazo zonke izizathu ezifanayo ezenziwa ngamadoda: isizungu, isithukuthezi, ukuziva ungathandwa okanye ungaxatyiswanga, okanye ngenxa yokuba ithuba likho.