Umxholo
- Ukwakha ngokutsha ubomi obutsha emva komtshato
- Ukunika ithuba kumanyano olutsha lomtshato
- Ukujongana noqhawulo mtshato kwakhona
- Ukuhlengahlengisa ubomi bokuzimela
- Ukutyikitya namaqela asekuhlaleni
Uqhawulo-mtshato alusoze lube lula. Nokuba iinkqubo zikamabonwakude ezithandwayo zibonisa ungquzulwano, iimvakalelo kunye nokudideka okukhoyo ngexesha nasemva kwenkqubo.
Ndandineminyaka elishumi elinesithoba xa ndatshata okokuqala. Emva kokuthandana ngesivunguvungu eYurophu ukuya kuLieutenant omncinci womkhosi, ndiye ndahamba ndaya kude nosapho xa sabuyela e-US ukuqala ubomi njengesibini esitshatileyo.
Iminyaka engamashumi amabini anesiphithiphithi kunye neentombi ezimbini ezintle kamva, bendipakisha ezo ntombi ngokuhamba ilizwe elinqamlezayo. Sashiya utata wabo ngasemva eCalifornia saya eVirginia.
Mna naye besingafani gwenxa kwasekuqaleni. Iminyaka yongquzulwano kunye neentlungu zenza isigqibo sokugqibela sokuba kuphelile kubonakala ngathi kukukhululeka njengoko sasisazi ukuba isiphelo asinakuphepheka. Okwangoku, uqhawulo-mtshato lwalunzima kwaye luguqula ubomi.
Ukwakha ngokutsha ubomi obutsha emva komtshato
Ukuqala wedwa kwindawo entsha kunye neentombi zangaphambi kolutsha bekungekho lula. Sakhe ubomi obutsha kunye njengentsapho yabafazi abathathu.
Ukutyhubela iminyaka sikhule ngamandla aqinileyo angangxamiyo, ukuzimela, kunye nobunye obungenakoyiswa.
Njengama-threesome amaninzi afanayo, saba yiyunithi kwaye sabambelela kunye sizicingela thina ziimisipha ezintathu.
Ukunika ithuba kumanyano olutsha lomtshato
Iminyaka idlulile, amantombazana akhula kwaye phantse alungela ukuba yedwa. Sobathathu sasikhululekile, sizithembile, kwaye sinomxholo kwihlabathi elizimeleyo ebesizenzele lona.
Ukanti ubomi buphethe utshintsho. Emva kweminyaka yokunxibelelana kunye nokuzibophelela okukhulayo kwindoda eyandiqinisekisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngothando olungapheliyo, ndandizimisele ukuthatha ithuba. Undiqinisekisile ukuba ndingakwazi, "ukuyeka ukulinda esinye isihlangu, (waye) kuso ubomi bonke."
Ndifumene isimanga emva kwayo yonke intlungu yomtshato wokuqala kunye noqhawulo-mtshato, bendizimisele ukubuyela kwilizwe lobudlelwane.
Ndaziva ndiqinisekile ngokunyaniseka kwakhe, ingqibelelo kunye nezifungo. Ndathabatha umhlala-phantsi kumsebenzi wam wobutitshala ndaza ndafudukela kwenye indawo ukuze ndiqhubele phambili umsebenzi wakhe. Ngaphandle kwesilumkiso, esinye isihlangu saye sawela ngaphandle kwengcaciso. Undixelele ukuba bendikhohlakele, kwaye ugqibile. Kwaye ngaphandle kokucaciswa ngakumbi, wayemkile.
Jonga kwakhona: 7 Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuqhawula umtshato
Ukujongana noqhawulo mtshato kwakhona
Kungelo xesha ke ndafunda ngentlungu yokwenene emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Intloni endandizifumana ngenxa yetyala awalifaka phambi kokuba siphume ebomini bethu landenza andaba nosizi.
Bekusele iiveki ndayeka ukukhala ndehla esofeni. Bendingakwazi ukutya, ukulala, okanye ukucinga. Ndazibuza ukuba ingaba ubomi bam bunokubamba ntoni kwaye ndinokuqhubeka njani. Kufike umhlobo ozokuthatha ulawulo. Ndizamile ukucacisa imeko yam ngokuzolileyo. Ndimxelele eyona nto ndiyaziyo. "Kungathatha ixesha elide ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kwaye andazi ukuba le ndlela ingakhokelela phi."
Andizange ndiyazi ukuba kuya kuthatha ixesha elingakanani. Ikhampasi yam yayiqhekekile kwaye ndandingenalo nolwazelelo. Ndixelelwe iminyaka elishumi elinantathu ukuba ndikwazi, "ukuyeka ukulinda esinye isihlangu," xa ngesiquphe nangokungalindelekanga isihlangu saphoswa ngqo kum-ngenjongo ebulalayo.
Kwaku ngaphezulu kweminyaka emibini ngaphambi kokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lwam lube lolokugqibela kwaye ndakwazi ukufumana nayiphi na imeko yokuvalwa kwesilingo sam. Umsebenzi wamaphepha, nangona kunjalo, awuniki mpiliso. Ayichazi amanyathelo alandelayo, inika isikhokelo kubomi obungcono, okanye icebise ngeendlela eziqinisekisiweyo zokuqhubela phambili.
Ukuhlengahlengisa ubomi bokuzimela
Intlungu ayisiyonto ixhaswayo okanye ikhuthazwayo kwinkcubeko yaseMelika. Ibali lam lalindala. Inkqubo yam yokuxhasa isigulana.
Ngoku yayilixesha lomsebenzi onzima wokuhlengahlengisa ubomi bokuzimela ndedwa kwindawo endingaqinisekanga ngayo ukuba ndifuna ukuhlala.
Ukutyikitya namaqela asekuhlaleni
Ndifumene amaqela entlalo kwindawo yam. Ndabhalisela ngononophelo izidlo, iimuvi, kunye neminye imisebenzi nabantu endingazange ndibabone kwaye ndingabazi ukuba bayafumaneka.
Kwakungelula, kwaye ndandidla ngokuziva ndingenaloyiko nokoyika. Ndandiqala ngokuthetha ndedwa nabanye. Ukuphuma ngakunye kwaba yinto eyoyikisayo kancinci kwaye kwaba lula ukuyifeza.
Kancinci kancinci, ngaphezulu kweminyaka emibini, ndiye ndaqala ukuqonda ukuba ndakha ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo kwakhona.
Ndiqaphele ukuba iimvakalelo zokuba wedwa kunye nesizungu ezazisasazeke ukusukela oko umlingane wam wemkayo zaye zanyamalala kancinci. Ngoku ithathelwe indawo yimvakalelo yokufezekiseka kunye neyakho. Ikhalenda yam yayingasenanto. Ngoku yayizaliswe yimisebenzi enentsingiselo ebandakanya abahlobo abatsha.
Uhambo oluya ekuzizalisekiseni nasekuxhobiseni
Ndisamangalisiwe. Ndinikwe amandla. Ndiphilile. Ndiphilile kwaye ndiyakwazi ukuphila ubomi bam bokuzimela. Ndizikhethela. Ndaphinda ndaziva ndixabisekile kwaye ndixabisekile. Ndivuka ndiziva ndiphilile kwaye ndinamandla ntsasa nganye.
Ndingathetha ngokukhululekileyo naba bahlobo batsha malunga neemeko zento eyenzekileyo ebomini bam. Ndabelana nabo ukuba ezimbini zoThabatha enye: Isimemo siya kupapashwa. Bayakhuthaza kwaye bayayixhasa. Ndinoluvo olugqithisileyo loxolo, uvuyo kunye nolwaneliseko ngobomi bam. Ndenze okungaphezulu lee kunokusinda. Ndikhulile.