Yintoni i-Stonewalling kubudlelwane kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo

Umbhali: Laura McKinney
Umhla Wokudalwa: 10 Utshazimpuzi 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 26 Isilimela 2024
Anonim
Yintoni i-Stonewalling kubudlelwane kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo - I-Psychology
Yintoni i-Stonewalling kubudlelwane kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Ngaba ufumana iqabane lakho livala ngabom nanini na xa usiza nomcimbi obalulekileyo wengxoxo? Ngaba ufumana iqabane lakho lisoyikeka ngexesha lengxoxo eqhubekayo kwaye ngokutshintsha isihloko?

Mhlawumbi ulixhoba lokuhlaselwa ngamatye kulwalamano lwakho. Yintoni amatye, uyazibuza? Ukwenza amatye kubudlelwane kunokuba yinto enzima ukuyichonga nokujongana nayo. Nangona kunjalo kuyingozi kulwalamano kunye nolwalamano lwenu. Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba yintoni na ilitye, funda ku.

Yintoni amatye kulwalamano?

Yintoni amatye? Ukuxhonywa ngamatye kubudlelwane yindlela yokuziphatha enokuthi ichazwe njengesenzo sokusebenzisa iindlela zokulibazisa.


Umntu ogibisela omnye ngamatye uyakuphepha ukungqubana okanye ale ukwamkela inkxalabo yomnye umntu. I-Stonewalling inokwenzeka kubudlelwane obahlukeneyo. Unxibelelwano ngoyena ndoqo wobudlelwane obunempumelelo. Kubaluleke kakhulu, ngakumbi kubudlelwane obubaluleke kakhulu.

Ukuba unxibelelwano luthintelwe kubudlelwane, luyonyusa imicimbi esele ikho iye kumanqanaba anzulu. Kwakhona, ubudlelwane obusondeleyo buya kuphosa xa elinye lamaqabane lisebenzisa amatye. Kungenxa yesi sizathu le nto amatye ethathwa njengeyona nto ixhaphakileyo kubudlelwane okanye emtshatweni.

Imizekelo yamatye ngamatye kubudlelwane

Kuphantse kube nzima ukuchaza amatye ngaphandle kwemizekelo. Kuba amatye amatye ingumba ontsonkothileyo wokuchonga kwaye unokudideka nomntu ocaphukisayo kwaye angafuni kuthetha ngalo mzuzu, nantsi eminye imizekelo yamatye amatye aza kwenza umahluko ucace.


Eminye yemizekelo eqhelekileyo yale ndlela yokuziphatha inokubonwa kwizibini ezitshatileyo, apho elinye iqabane ligibisela elinye. Iqabane eligibisela omnye ngamatye lingazigxotha iimvakalelo zomnye okanye liphume liye phakathi kwencoko.

Ngokwesiqhelo, kwiimeko ezinjalo, ingxoxo inokuphela ngaphambi kokuba kufikelelwe kwiziqhamo ezihle. Ukuzibuza ukuba yintoni into enamatye ngokubonisa ukuba ibonakalisa njani ngamazwi nangezenzo? Nanga amanye amabinzana aqhelekileyo asetyenziswa ngelixa kugityiselwa ngamatye kubudlelwane:

  • Andifuni kuthetha ngoku
  • Yiyo leyo!
  • Ndonele
  • Musa ukuqala kwakhona
  • Ukuphela kwengxoxo
  • Hlukana nam
  • Yiya kukude! Andifuni kumamela kwanto ngoku.

Ukufumana ukuqonda okungcono malunga nendlela esebenza ngayo isayikholoji yengqondo, cinga ngalo mzekelo ulandelayo -

UJohn noLibby baneminyaka emibini betshatile. Ngeli xesha, baneempikiswano ezininzi kwimicimbi eliqela. UJohn ubuya ekhaya emva kwexesha emsebenzini, kwaye emva kokuba ebuyile, uhlala exakekile kwiselfowuni.


Le ndlela yokuziphatha yenza uLibby angonwabi, kwaye kwizihlandlo ezahlukeneyo, uxelele uJohn ngendlela avakalelwa ngayo. Uninzi lwexesha athe wazama ukujongana noJohn, akazange anike zimpawu ezingezizo ezomlomo malunga nendlela awayeziva kwaye aziphathe ngayo ngokungathi wayephume waphela uLibby.

Kwezinye iimeko, wabonisa ukungoneliseki kwakhe ngokushiya igumbi emva kokuxelela uLibby ukuba wonele kwezi ngxoxo kwaye akafuni kuva nto.

Lo ngumzekelo weklasikhi weqabane elinye lokugudla elinye. Rhoqo, amaqabane ayaziphepha iingxabano okanye kuba engafuni ukujongana nemeko.

Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukogquma amatye kwahluke kakhulu ekuthatheni ikhefu. Xa umntu ephumla, bathatha ixesha lokucingisisa ngemeko leyo, ehlala izisa iziphumo eziluncedo. Ngelixa, kwindlela yokuziphatha kwamatye, akukho nkqubo yokucinga ibandakanyekayo.

Ukuba unqwenela ukuqonda eminye imizekelo yokuziphatha kwamatye, bukela le vidiyo.

Ngaba amatye amatye angabonakaliswa njengophatho gadalala?

Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, unokuba uyazi ukuba kukuthini amatye kwaye akukho mpilo. Nangona kunjalo, ngaba ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kwamatye? Ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemoyeni kubhekisa kwindlela yokuziphatha ebonakalisiweyo yokwenzakalisa nokusebenzisa umxholo.

Nangona kunjalo, abantu abanamatye ngamatye abanakuhlala bezimisele ukwenzakalisa umntu oxulutywe ngamatye.

Ukuphathwa gadalala ngamatye kuxa umntu engavumi ukumamela, avume okanye anikel 'ingqalelo kwizikhalazo zeqabane lakhe okanye iimvakalelo zokubenzakalisa. Kwiimeko ezininzi zobudlelwane bamatye okanye umtshato wamatye, iqabane eligibisela amatye lizama kuphela ukunqanda ukungqubana okanye umlo.

Ngelixa besenokungazi ukuba bazama ukulimaza iqabane labo ngezenzo zabo (ezinje ngamatye), inxenye yengqondo yabo inokwazi ukuba kunjalo. Ukuba i-stonewalling isetyenziselwa ukukhohlisa, ukuthoba okanye ukonzakalisa umntu, inokuthi ibonakale njengokuhlukumeza.

Iimpawu zokuqhekeka kwamatye

Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, amatye kunokuba ngumceli mngeni ekuchongeni. Ngamanye amaxesha, omabini amaqabane angazibandakanya kumatye, nangaphandle kokuqonda oko. Ukuba unqwenela ukuchaza indlela yokuziphatha ngamatye kubudlelwane, jonga le miqondiso:

  • Ukungahoyi into ethethwa ngomnye umntu
  • Ukutshintsha isifundo xa isihloko singonwabanga okanye sinzulu
  • Ukuqhawuka phakathi kweempikiswano, iincoko
  • Ukuza nezizathu zokuba ungangeni kwincoko
  • Uyala ukuphendula imibuzo yeqabane lakho
  • Ukutyhola amaqabane abo endaweni yokujongana nengxaki ekuyo
  • Sebenzisa ulwimi lomzimba njengokuqengqeleka kwamehlo, izijekulo zesandla ukugxotha
  • Ukuzibekel 'amangomso incoko ngezinto ezinzulu
  • Ukwala ukwamkela nayiphi na kwezi mpawu.

Iindidi zamatye

I-Stonewalling ayisiyohlobo olunye kuphela.Ngoku ukuba uyazi ukuba kukukrola amatye, kufuneka wazi ukuba amatye ngamatye kubudlelwane angaba ziindidi ezahlukeneyo, kuxhomekeke kwinjongo yomntu owakha amatye, kunye neendlela ezithile zokuziphatha ezinokuthi ziphosakele ngokwenza amatye.

1. Ukuzibiyela ngamatye okungenziwanga ngabom

Ngamanye amaxesha, ngenxa yobuntwana obunabo abantu kunye nendlela abafunde ngayo ukumelana neemeko ezithile, babonisa indlela yokuziphatha kwamatye.

Abanye abantu abanqweneli kulwa kwaphela kwaye, ke, banokuthi bawaxulube amaqabane abo ukuphepha iingxabano kunye nokulwa. I-Stonewalling ijonge ukungalimazi okanye ukuxhaphaza amaqabane abo kodwa kuthintele nakuphi na ukungqubana okunokukhokelela kwiingxoxo ezishushu okanye iimeko ezingathandekiyo.

2. Ukuzonga ngamatye ngabom

I-Stonewalling ilolu hlobo xa iqabane libonisa ngabom isimilo sokuziphatha ngamatye ukuze sisebenzise imeko okanye iqabane labo. Ukuzibetha ngamatye ngabom kunokubandakanya ukuphathwa gadalala ngamazwi okanye ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye kwenziwa ukwenzakalisa umntu oxulutywe ngamatye.

Ukufunda okunxulumene noko: Yintoni Ukuphathwa gadalala Ngamazwi

Ukuziphatha kuphosakele ngokwenza amatye

Amaxesha amaninzi, abantu bathambekele ekubhideni imida yokubeka amatye ngamatye. Abanye abantu, iimfazwe, iimpikiswano, kunye nezinye iimeko zinokubangela uxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, okanye ezinye iingxaki zempilo yengqondo. Ke ngoko, banqwenela ukuphepha ukungqubana. Nangona kunjalo, komnye umntu, ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zinokubonakala njengamatye, oko kungenjalo.

Oonobangela bamatye

Ukwazi ukuba kukukrola amatye kunye noonobangela bokwakhiwa kwamatye kubalulekile ekuphenduleni 'indlela yokumisa amatye.' Ngelixa i-stonewalling inengxaki kubudlelwane okanye emtshatweni, isenokungasoloko icingelwa kakubi okanye yenzelwe ukonzakalisa iqabane eligityiselwa ngamatye. Ukuqonda nokwazi oonobangela bokwakha ngamatye kunokukunceda uqonde ukuba kutheni iqabane lakho lihlala kulo, kwaye unokufumana iindlela zokuzisombulula kunye nokujongana nazo.

  • Abantu banokugubungela ngamatye njengendlela yokohlwaya amaqabane abo
  • Xa umntu engakwazi ukuchaza indlela abavakalelwa ngayo
  • Xa umntu engaqinisekanga ngendlela abavakalelwa ngayo
  • Ngokubanzi ufuna ukunqanda ungquzulwano okanye umlo
  • Xa umntu efuna ukunciphisa uxinzelelo kwimeko ehlaselwe yimvakalelo
  • Uloyiko lwendlela abaza kusabela ngayo amaqabane abo kwimeko
  • Ngenxa yokuphelelwa lithemba ukuba isisombululo asifumaneki
  • Ngendlela yokujonga iqabane labo njengongenazimvakalelo
  • Ukulungisa imeko
  • Ukuthintela ukungqubana okunokubangela ukuba ubudlelwane buphele ngokupheleleyo.

Ukuchonga amatye kubuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane?

Kwiimeko ezininzi, apho ukubetheka ngamatye kubudlelwane kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kuye kwabonwa njengendlela yokuphathwa gadalala kwengqondo. I-Stonewalling inokushiya iqabane lakho liziva lisemngciphekweni.

Emva kokuba uyiqondile into enamatye, kufuneka uyazi ukuba iimpembelelo zokwakhiwa kwamatye kuwo nawuphi na ubudlelwane bomtshato buyadelela. Amaxesha amaninzi xa umntu ebagibisela ngamatye amaqabane abo, iqabane lifumana uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo.

  • Ngamanye amaxesha, iqabane linokusebenzisa into eyaziwayo 'yokuphathwa cwaka. Nantsi indlela amatye anokuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane bakho okanye umtshato wakho.
  • Umlingane oxhonywe ngamatye anokuziva ethotyiwe de azibuze ukuba ungubani na
  • Ingakhokelela kwinzondo kunye nokudana kulwalamano
  • Uphando lubonisa ukuba amatye ngamatye angaba sisiseko sokuqhawula umtshato
  • I-Stonewalling inokuchaphazela nempilo yomzimba. Ngokophando, inokukhokelela kwiimpawu ze-musculoskeletal kuwo omabini amaqabane.

Kukuziva njani ukwenza amatye?

Kumntu oxhonywe ngamatye, amatye anokuba ngumngeni wokujongana naye. Umntu oxhonywe ngamatye angaziva ethotyiwe, edidekile, elusizi, kwaye enomsindo- konke ngaxeshanye. Banokuqala ukuziva bengenakuzinceda kulwalamano okanye emtshatweni. Ukuzixabisa kwabo nentlonelo yabo inokuchaphazeleka.

Ngelixa banokuziva bezimisele ukushiya ubudlelwane ngamanye amaxesha, banokungakwazi ukwenza njalo. Oku kunokubenza bazive bebi nangakumbi. Inokuchaphazela impilo yabo yasemzimbeni nasengqondweni.

Ujongana njani nelitye

Ngoku ukuba uyazi ukuba kukukhanda ngamatye, oonobangela, kunye nendlela ekuchaphazela ngayo kunye nolwalamano lwakho, kuya kufuneka ufunde iindlela zokujongana nayo. Ukuba uhlala uxhonywa ngamatye, kuya kufuneka usoloko ucinga malunga nendlela yokugqobhoza amatye. Ukwenza amatye kubudlelwane kungathathelwa ingqalelo ukuba wena neqabane lakho nizimisele ukubeka imizamo yenu yokulunga.

  • Inyathelo lokuqala libandakanya i-stonewaller yokuchonga kunye nokuvuma le ndlela yokuziphatha. Nje ukuba yamkelwe, omabini amaqabane kufuneka akulungele ukujongana nayo.
  • Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho alikhululekanga ngokuthetha ngento ngexesha, musa ukubacaphukisa. Ukuvavanywa akuyi kukufumanela naziphi na iziphumo ezilungileyo.
  • Iqabane lakho liya kugcina ukuthula cwaka njengesiqhelo. Ngapha koko, amaxhala akho kunye nenqanaba lokudideka liya kuthi ngokungathandabuzekiyo liwele umda.
  • Endaweni yokuba unike iqabane lakho ikhefu elifunekayo. Nobabini kufuneka nizame ukuphola ngexesha lekhefu kwaye niqhubeke nengxoxo xa nobabini nikwimeko yokwamkela.
  • Ukujongana nokuchithwa kwamatye kubudlelwane, ungazama ukufuna ubuchwephesha.
  • Olunye ukhetho olulungileyo kukuthatha ikhosi yomtshato ekwi-intanethi ukusuka kwinduduzo yekhaya lakho ukulungisa eminye imiba kubudlelwane bakho ukuze wonwabe kwaye usempilweni umtshato.

Okukwintsusa

Ukuqonda ukuba yintoni into enamatye ngamatye lelinye lawona manyathelo abalulekileyo ekujonganeni nayo. I-Stonewalling yenye yeendlela eziphambili zokuziphatha ezikhokelela kumtshato osileleyo. Abantu abaninzi bawabetha ngamatye amaqabane abo ngaphandle kokuqonda indlela abaziphatha ngayo kwabo babathandayo. Kananjalo abanakho ukubona kwangaphambili ukuba oku kunokuluchaphazela njani ulwalamano lwabo kwixesha elide. Ngelixa ukwenza ulungelelwaniso kubudlelwane okanye emtshatweni kungenakuphepheka, kubalulekile ukuba uchonge indlela yokuziphatha echaphazela impilo yomlingane ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwengqondo kwaye uzisombulule ukuze zibe nolwalamano olusempilweni nolonwabisayo.