Umxholo
- Ukunyanga iimpawu akwanelanga
- Chonga kwaye ulungise imiba yokulahla ngaphambi kokungena kubudlelwane obunzulu
- Nyaniseka
- Ukuphilisa kunye nokuphelisa iimpawu
- Ulonwabo lukhetho
- Ungamnceda njani umntu onemicimbi yokulahla
Ukushiya kushiya amanxeba. Ezi zikrakra azinakubonwa ngeliso lenyama, ke, kwiimeko ezininzi, zinokungabonakali. Amanxeba emvakalelo anokuhlala ebomini kwaye adlale kwiindawo ezininzi zobomi bethu. Umntu olwa nemicimbi yokulahla unokufumana iimpembelelo zobudlelwane bothando ikakhulu njengoko zisondele kwaye zifuna ukuba sesichengeni.
Kubudlelwane bothando, oku kunokubonisa njengokuba uswele, kukhohliswa inkohliso, okanye uqhathwa. Inokukwazisa njengomntu ovumela abanye ukuba bakuhlukumeze okanye bakuphathe gadalala. Amaxesha amaninzi umntu ohlangabezana nale micimbi akabadibanisi nokushiya.
Kuyafana nokuba uninzi lwezifo ziqala njani ngeempawu ezinje ngomkhuhlane kodwa zinokuhambelana nalo naliphi na inani lezifo; Imiba yokulahla ifana neempawu zomkhuhlane, zinokunxulumana nezinye izizathu ezininzi kwaye ke ngoko zinxulunyaniswe nesizathu esiyinyani nesichanekileyo – Ukulahlwa.
Kweli nqaku, siza kuthetha ngendlela yokoyisa imiba yokulahla kunye nendlela onokumnceda ngayo umntu onemicimbi enjalo ukuze abenobudlelwane obusempilweni.
Ukunyanga iimpawu akwanelanga
Ngaphambi kokuba ufike kumbuzo wokuba ungayisingatha njani imiba yokulahla, kuya kufuneka uyazi ukunyanga iimpawu zodwa ayisosisombululo sexesha elide. Ude ufike kwisiseko saso nasiphi na isifo ayinakuze inyangeke kwaye uchitha iminyaka unyanga iimpawu eziphindayo. Ukuba ukushiya ubudlelwane yingcambu, kuya kufuneka siyivume kwaye sisebenzise isicombululo sokuphelisa iimpawu eziqhubekayo.
Ukuba ulahliwe ngumzali njengomntwana ungabona lusizi, uloyiko, isizungu, ukwaliwa, uziva ungafaneleki, kwaye mhlawumbi unyamezele uhlobo oluthile lokuxhatshazwa ezandleni zabanye.
Iziphumo zala mava zinokudlulisela kubomi bakho abadala kwaye zibonise kubudlelwane kwaye ekugqibeleni umtshato wakho.
Chonga kwaye ulungise imiba yokulahla ngaphambi kokungena kubudlelwane obunzulu
Kuya kufuneka uphendule umbuzo, 'ingaba ndinemicimbi yokulahla?' ngaphambi kokuba uqhubeke. Ukuba awuyivumi kwaye uyayivuma imvakalelo yakho enzulu, ungaphinda umjikelo wokukhetha amaqabane angalunganga ekugqibeleni akhokelele ekuzinziseni umtshato ongonwabanga.
Ukoyisa imiba yokulahlwa kubalulekile ukunqanda iimvakalelo zokulahla ezinokuhlala kunye nefuthe emtshatweni. Ingqondo eguqulweyo inokubangela ukutshintsha kwendlela yokuziphatha enika isiphumo sokukhetha ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nomtshato.
Nyaniseka
Masijongane nezi mpawu zinje ngomkhuhlane (iimpendulo zethu kunye noloyiko) xa sidibana okanye sithandana nomntu. Zibuze-
- Zithini iingcinga zakho ezifihlakeleyo?
- Ngaba ezona ngcinga zininzi, ngaba ndilungile ngokwaneleyo okanye baya kundithanda ngenxa yam?
- Ngaba uthatha inxaxheba ekukhetheni uhlobo lweqabane olifunayo okanye uyasamkela isimemo sokuthandana nabo ngenxa yokuba besivezile?
- Ngaba uyathobela okanye uyalawula kwimpazamo esoyika ukuphulukana nazo?
- Okokugqibela, ngaba unendawo yokugcina iintlungu kunye nokungonwabi oyigubungela ngoncumo ngelixa uhlala kubudlelwane obungenampilo kuba ungafuni ukuba wedwa?
Ukuba uphendule ngo-ewe le mibuzo, usenokuba nemicimbi yokulahla kubudlelwane kwaye okanye ungaphathwa gadalala, kwaye eli lixesha lakho lenyaniso. Kwaye kufuneka ufunde ukuba ungajongana njani neemvakalelo zokulahlwa.
Ukuphilisa kunye nokuphelisa iimpawu
Uhlangabezana njani nemiba yokulahla kubudlelwane? Uqala njani ukuphilisa?
Ukuphilisa kuqala ngokuvuma. Ukuba uzimisele ukuba nobudlelwane obusempilweni, umtshato kunye nempilo yeemvakalelo zakho, kuqala ngendlela ozijonga ngayo, kunye nendlela olujonga ngayo uthando kunye nomtshato.
Ngaba uyazi ukuba zibangelwe yintoni?
Uninzi lwabantu oluye lwalahlwa kunye nokuxhatshazwa luye lwabhengeza iziphumo. Ezi zinto zinokubangela ukuba ungazi nto ekuqaleni, nangona kunjalo xa uqala uhambo lokuphilisa, uyabazi.
Isitshixo yinto eyenzekileyo okanye igama elithethwayo elibonisa imvakalelo evela kwixesha lakho elidlulileyo ongenakubonakala ulilandelela ngokuthe ngqo kodwa ikwenza ukuba ucinge iingcinga ezithile kwaye uzive iimvakalelo ezithile.
Ezi ngcinga kunye neemvakalelo zenza uthotho lwezenzo ezinokuba yindlela yokuzikhusela okanye ukuzenzakalisa. Nje ukuba uvume ezi zinto zibangela ukuba ume kwaye uvavanye iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho ngendlela ecacileyo.
Oku kukuvumela ukuba uphendule ngokucoca ngengqondo endaweni yolwazi. Kuyinyani ukuba siziva kunjalo iimvakalelo azisoloko ziyinyani.
Okukhona uyisebenzisa le nkqubo ekuphiliseni kwakho kuya kuqala ukuphelisa iimpawu ezithi zikugulise (ukhetho olungenampilo kumaqabane nakwimitshato eyonakalisayo.
Ulonwabo lukhetho
Nje ukuba wamkele kwaye ube novakalelo kwizinto zakho ezibangelwe kukushiywa kunye nokuxhatshazwa, ngoku ungakhetha ulonwabo. Ukuba awutshatanga, ngoku unamandla okwenza ukhetho olusempilweni kwiqabane kuba isigqibo asisayi kuba yimfuno.
Endaweni yoko, iya kuba kukunqwenela ukuthanda nokuthandwa. Xa ukhetha kumnqweno wokuthandwa ngokwenyani, ulawula into ovumayo ukuyamkela kwaye uqinisekile ngento ekufuneka uyala.
Ukuba usebudlelwaneni okanye utshatile, ngoku unokuzuza ekuchongeni izinto ezibangela uhlengahlengiso kwaye uphendule indlela ophendula ngayo kuba ngoku uza kucoca ubulumko, hayi iimvakalelo ezingahleliwe. Ndichithe iminyaka eliqela kubudlelwane obungenampilo bokuthandana kunye nomtshato ongenampilo.
Kwincwadi ethi, "Ukoyisa Isandla Ubuthetha Ngento," ndinika iinkcukacha ngeemvakalelo zam, iingcinga zam uyabona, imizabalazo engacacanga kunye necacileyo, yokhetho endilwenzileyo ngenxa yokulahla kunye nemicimbi yokuxhatshazwa.
Ke ukuba utshatile okanye utshatile kwaye ufuna umtshato, yiba nomonde kwaye uthathe eli xesha ukwazi ukuba ufuna ntoni kubudlelwane, kwaye wazi ukuba kukho ulonwabo kwelinye icala lokuphilisa ukuba ukhetha ukuba njalo.
Ungamnceda njani umntu onemicimbi yokulahla
Ngoku uyazi ukuba kuthatha ntoni ukuphilisa imiba yokulahlwa. Kodwa uza kuthini ukuba uthandana nomntu onemicimbi yokulahla? Imiba yokulahla emadodeni ixhaphakile.
Isizathu sokuba, amadoda anokuba nzima ukuba nezwi; xa benyamezele ukubuyela umva okanye isiqendu esibuhlungu esikhokelela kuphuhliso lwemicimbi yokulahlwa, banokuyigcina ngaphakathi kubo bangathethi.
Ngenxa yokubekwa amabala kuluvo lokuba amadoda anemvakalelo, ukuziva ulahliwe kubudlelwane kunokuba yinto eqhelekileyo emadodeni. Amadoda anemicimbi yokulahla akubonakali ngathi anokuzityand 'igila kuye nabani na, emva koko imicimbi iqhubeka nokukhula.
Ukuba uthandana nendoda enemicimbi yokulahla kufuneka uyihambise ukuba ithethe nawe. Mkhuthaze ukuba athethe ngesiqendu esamenza waba nolo loyiko.
Menze aqonde indlela imiba yokulahla ebuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane kunye neziphumo ezinokuba nazo kwikamva lakho kunye. Ngokutsho kwakho, musa ukumenza azive ukuba xa engathethi, uza kumshiya naye.
Oku kuya kuqinisa uloyiko ngakumbi. Ukuthanda umntu ngemicimbi yokulahla kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka ubaqinisekise rhoqo ukuba uza kuba nabo.Xa uphumelela ngokuthe ngcembe ukuzithemba kweqabane lakho, iimpawu zokulahlwa ziya kuncipha.
Kwinkqubo yokunceda iqabane lakho, ungabona i-Therapist ngeengcebiso zendlela oqhubeka ngayo. Ukuba uziva umadolw 'anzima ukwenza loo nto unokufunda ezinye zeencwadi malunga nemicimbi yokuyeka. Kukho ulwazi oluninzi phaya olunokukunceda ngokwenene ukuziguqula ngokwakho, iqabane lakho, kunye nolwalamano lwakho.