Umxholo
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ngumhlobo ne-ex yakho ngaphandle kokuchaphazela ubudlelwane obutsha?
Ngokunyaniseka, awukwazi, kwaye ukucinga ngayo, akukho sidingo sokunxibelelana ne-ex yakho. Isizathu kukuba nantoni na onayo nalo mntu iya kuhambelana nolwalamano lwakho lwangoku. Iinkumbulo owabelana ngazo naloo mntu ziya kuhlala zikungqongile.
Iinkumbulo ezityhafileyo zobudlelwane bakho bangaphambili ziya kuyiphosa isithunzi kule yakho yangoku ekufuneka ujonge kuyo. Iqabane lakho elitsha kufuneka lizive likhethekile ngokungathi kuphela komntu omthandayo.
Kodwa bangazifumana njani ezo mvakalelo xa bekhunjuzwa ukuba sowufumene olo thando nomnye umntu?
Ukuba ukulungele ngokwenene ukuzibophelela kubudlelwane obutsha, kuya kufuneka ulibale ngezothando zakudala. Kuhle ukuba unokuba kwimeko yobuhlobo kunye ne-ex yakho, kodwa yile nto kanye; i-ex ayiyonto ngaphandle 'kweMbali'.
Ngaba abantu bathini, ngaba yinyani leyo?
Abantu bayathanda ukucinga ukuba akukho luthando lushiyekileyo kubudlelwane obudala, ukuba ngokwenene bangabahlobo nje. Kodwa ngaxa lithile, akunakukunceda kodwa ucinge ukuba ubusondele kulo mntu, ubathandile; Kwakukho ixesha apho wawucinga ukuba uya kuhlala ngonaphakade.
Amava owafumanayo nalo mntu aya kuhlala nawe ngonaphakade. Ke, ukuthetha nomntu wakudala xa uthandana kuya kwenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi kuwe.
Kwaye ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuthetha ne-ex yakho ngelixa uhlala nomnye umntu, kuya kwenzeka ntoni xa ngequbuliso ubanjwa kwimeko yokuzincama? Ngubani oya kumbeka phambili xa umntu wakho wakudala efuna wena ngequbuliso? Iimvakalelo zikabani ozincamayo?
Uhlobo lwayo lokuba ubekhona kuloo mntu kwaye ungabambeli ingqumbo kodwa bububele obukhohlakeleyo obenzayo.
Kwangelo xesha, awunabulungisa kwiqabane lakho elitsha ngokubakhumbuza ukuba ababalulekanga. Ikwatsho ukuba ukunyaniseka kwakho kwahlulwe. Sele ulufumene uthando ocinga ukuba alunakuphela, kwaye nothando oludlulileyo lusekhona ebomini bakho.
Ukuba ukulungele ngokwenyani ukutyala imali ngokwakho kulwalamano lwakho olutsha, ukuba ubathanda ngokunyanisekileyo, ubatyala ityala elicocekileyo- ubudlelwane apho uthando lwakho lukhethekile kwaye lungenakubekwa endaweni kwaye hayi uthando oluza emva kwalolo wawunalo ngaphambili.
Nciphisa uqhakamshelwano ne ex yakho
Kuya kufuneka uyeke ngokupheleleyo ixesha lakho elidlulileyo ukusukela ukuba uthethe nomntu owayekade ukulo xa ungathandani ayingombono mhle kangako. Akufanele zityatyekwe kuyo yonke ifowuni yakho. Kulungile ukuba nabo kwimidiya yakho yoluntu, kodwa musa ukusebenzisana nabo. Musa ukuthumela imiyalezo omnye komnye okanye ukuthanda iifoto zomnye nomnye. Cima inombolo yabo ngaphambi kokuba iqabane lakho langoku livakalelwe kukuba lifanele likucele.
Akukho sidingo sokuxhoma kubudlelwane obudala, ngakumbi ukuba buhlungu kwiqabane lakho elitsha.
Ukuba ujongene nobunzima ekuyekeni, kuya kufuneka ubuye umva kwaye ufumanise ukuba uziva njani. Mhlawumbi kukho ishishini elingagqitywanga, kwaye ukuba kunjalo, ungakhokeleli komnye umntu. Awunakuba nentliziyo nengqondo ezixineneyo kwiindawo ezimbini ngexesha elinye kuba ke ngekhe ube nakho ukutyala imali ngokupheleleyo.
Ukuba uphazamisekile, ngekhe ukwazi ukwakha iinkumbulo ezintsha kunye neqabane lakho, kwaye oko kunokubangela iingxaki ezinkulu kubudlelwane bakho obutsha. Ukuba unqwenela ukuqala ulwalamano olonwabileyo kunye neqabane lakho langoku, kuya kufuneka ke wazi izinto ezibalulekileyo zokonwaba kubudlelwane.
Akunempilo ukuhlala kwixesha elidlulileyo.
Umntu wakho wangaphambili lixesha lakho elidlulileyo, kwaye kulapho bahlala khona. Kuthekani ukuba umntu wakho wangaphambili useneemvakalelo ngawe? Kwaye ukuba bayakwenza oko, baya kuhlala becebisa ngokubuyela kunye okanye bakhankanye indlela abakhumbula ngayo ukuba kunye nawe. Oku kunokuphambukisa ingqalelo yakho, kwaye uya kulahla ukugxila kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku.
Lilonke, ukuhlala unxibelelana ne-ex yakho ayisiyonto ilungileyo kuwe, kwaye kufuneka uzame kangangoko ukuba uqhubeke.