Umxholo
- Zithini iimpawu zabazali abathandanayo?
- 1. Ukuzingca:
- 2. Umona nobutyebi
- 3. Ukungabikho kovelwano
- 4. Ukuxhomekeka kunye nokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi
- 5. Ulawulo
- 6. Scapegoating kunye nokukhetha
- 7. Ukungakhathali
- Bachaphazeleka njani abantwana xa umzali ongakhathaliyo ebakhulisa?
- Abathandwa ngohlobo abalulo
- Abantakwenu babambene ngokuchasene
- Iimfuno zomntwana azikhathalelwa, ziyacinezelwa, okanye kugculelwa
- Umntwana unokuziva njengeqabane kunokuba abe ngumntwana
- Umntwana uzabalaza ekuchongeni iimfuno zakhe, iimfuno kunye neenjongo
- Ungayohlula njani iziphumo zokuba ngumzali narcissistic?
- Ulwazi nokuqonda kuzisa impiliso
- Inkqubo yokulila iyimfuneko
- Imida kufuneka isekwe
- Intsingiselo yothando lokwenene kufuneka ifundwe
Wakhe weva malunga nokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic? Ngaba unokucinga ngomzali oneengxaki zobuntu?
Igama elithi 'narcissism' liba ligama lasekhaya kwezi ntsuku, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha linokusetyenziswa njengenkcazo yayo nantoni na ukusuka ekuzingceni ukuya ekuphupheni komsindo. Ewe kunjalo, kukho uluhlu olubanzi lweendlela i-narcissism inokubonakalisa ngokuqhubeka ukusuka kwimpilo ukuya kububi.
I-narcissism esempilweni kuthetha ukuba nokuzithemba okwenyani, ngelixa i-narcissism enobungozi ibhekisa kukuzingca okugqithisileyo kunye nobuthathaka, ukungazithembi kunye nokungakwazi ukwenza ubudlelwane obunempilo. Olu hlobo lwe-narcissism enobungozi lunefuthe elibi kakhulu xa likhona kwimeko yokuba ngumzali.
Eli nqaku liza kuphonononga ezinye zeempawu zomzali ongathandani, ukuba iimpawu zomntu othanda ukubachaphazela zingabachaphazela njani abantwana babo, kunye nendlela yokujongana nabazali abathandanayo, kuba ukujongana nabazali abathandanayo ayikokudlala komntwana!
Zithini iimpawu zabazali abathandanayo?
1. Ukuzingca:
Xa umzali eyinkunkuma, yonke into ihlala ihleli ngabo, kwaye basebenzise abantwana babo ukufezekisa amaphupha neminqweno yabo.
Umzekelo woku iya kuba ngutata othanda ukunyanzelisa onyanzelisa ukuba unyana wakhe abe ngugqirha, nokuba umdla kunye nobuchule bonyana wakhe buhambelana nolu khetho lomsebenzi.
Ezi mpawu zikatata wokuziphatha kakubi zixhaphakile, kodwa sihlala sizijongela phantsi, sicinga ukuba ezi mpawu zixhaphake kakhulu!
2. Umona nobutyebi
Umzali olilisayo unethemba lokugcina inzala yakhe iphantsi kobhontsi wabo ngonaphakade.
Ngokukhawuleza nje ukuba umntwana aqale ukubonisa ukukhula okanye ukuzikhethela, esenza ukhetho kunye nezinto abazithandayo zaziwe, umzali unokuba nomsindo kwaye acaphuke, ayithathe njengobundlongondlongo kunye nesoyikiso.
3. Ukungabikho kovelwano
AbakwaNarcissist abanako ukungazithathile ingqalelo iingcinga neemvakalelo zabanye, kubandakanya nabantwana babo. Kubo, eyona nto ibalulekileyo ziimbono zabo kunye nembono yabo. Le yeempawu eziqhelekileyo zokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic.
Abantwana abahlala nabazali abathandanayo abanamava kolu hlobo lokungasebenzi ngokuhamba kwexesha bahlala bekhulisa imaski engeyiyo ukulungiselela umzali, okanye bazikhwebule kumzali wabo, ngelixa abanye besenokuzama ukulwa.
4. Ukuxhomekeka kunye nokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi
Ukuba ngumzali weNarcissistic kuhlala kubandakanya ukukhuthaza ubudlelwane bokuxhomekeka kubantwana ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokuba abazali balindele ukuba umntwana abanakekele ubomi babo bonke.
Oku kunokujongwa njengeempawu zobunina, kwaye abantwana banokumakisha oomama babo ngokuthi 'ngabakhuseli ngokugqithisileyo' okanye 'abanayo.'
Oku kuhlala kubandakanya inkcitho eninzi kunye nokuzincama komntwana, apho umlingisi wezinto ezibonakalayo enokubonakala ngathi akanakuqonda kwaphela.
5. Ulawulo
Unokuzibuza ukuba kutheni umzali ongakhathaliyo emala umntwana wakhe?
Kodwa, umzali oxhaphazayo uyinkosi ekusebenziseni isohlwayo, izoyikiso, kunye nokubamba uthando ukuze anyanzelise ukuthotyelwa. Bahlala bebeka ityala lobuxoki emntwaneni, kunye nokugxeka, ukuhlazisa, kunye nokwenza uxinzelelo olungenangqondo lokwenza.
Ukuthelekiswa okungathandekiyo (“kutheni ungenakulunga njengomntakwenu?”) Kunye nokunyanzelwa ngokweemvakalelo (“ukuba uyindodana elungileyo okanye uyintombazana uya kundenzela le okanye leya”) nazo ziindlela eziqhelekileyo zokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic.
6. Scapegoating kunye nokukhetha
Xa kukho ngaphezulu komntwana omnye kusapho, umzali otyhafisayo uya kuhlala ejolise komnye wabo "njengomntwana wegolide" olungiselelwe ukuba ahambelane neemfuno kunye nokuzingca komntu othanda into engekhoyo.
Ekukhuliseni abantwana ngokungakhathali, omnye wabantwana uye abe 'nguAzazele' obekek 'ityala ngayo yonke into. Ngale ndlela, abantakwenu babambene omnye nomnye, babangela ukuphazamiseka ngakumbi kunye nesiphithiphithi kweli khaya sele liphazamisekile.
7. Ukungakhathali
Umzali ongu-narcissist unokukhetha ukulandela iimfuno zakhe kunokujongana neemfuno zemihla ngemihla zokuba ngumzali. Banokuba ngamakhoboka omsebenzi. Esi simo sengqondo sokungakhathali sishiya umntwana ikakhulu nomnye umzali okanye eyedwa kwaye ezimela kakhulu.
Bachaphazeleka njani abantwana xa umzali ongakhathaliyo ebakhulisa?
Ukuzingca ngokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic akubavumeli abazali ukuba babone umntwana njengothandekayo, oxabisekileyo, kwaye uxabisekile ngokwabo.
Endaweni yoko, bayaxatyiswa kuphela ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokuhlangabezana kunye nokuhambisa iimfuno zomzali.
Umlinganiso othile wobutshaba bomntakwenu unengqiqo kulo naluphi na usapho, kodwa apho kukho ukuba ngumzali obandakanyekayo, olu sukuzwano lufikelela kumanqanaba anobungozi. Oku kuhlala kungumbono woonxantathu ngabom wokuzenzela iimfuno zabo zokuzingca.
Xa umntwana wabazali abangamanyala ezama ukuveza ezabo iimfuno kunye neminqweno, enokwahluka kweyomzali, bahlala behliswa kwaye baphoxeka, besenziwa ukuba bazive ukuba iingcinga, iimvakalelo, kunye nezimvo zabo azinantsingiselo kwaye azinaxabiso.
Kwezinye iimeko, ukuba ngumzali ongakhathaliyo kubandakanya ukuveza nokuzithemba emntwaneni, kwaye umntwana kulindeleke ukuba athuthuzele kwaye ahlangabezane neemfuno zomzali ngokweemvakalelo.
Oku kuguqulwa kwendima kubeka umntwana kwindawo engathandekiyo yokuziva ngathi liqabane okanye umntu anokuzithemba kunaye umntwana.
Xa umntwana esiqhela ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zomzali ongathandekiyo, ebhengeza kuzo zonke izigqibo zabo, kwaye ehlala evumelana nezicwangciso kunye nezimvo zakhe, banokufikelela kwinqanaba lokungazazi iingcinga neemvakalelo zabo.
Xa beceliwe ukuba banike uluvo okanye bavakalise umnqweno, banokuba madolw 'anzima, boyike, kwaye bangathathi sigqibo, bathelekise ukuba yeyiphi impendulo' elungileyo 'elindelweyo kubo.
Bukela le ntetho ye-ted ukuze ufumane ulwazi ngakumbi kubuzali bobuchwephesha:
Ungayohlula njani iziphumo zokuba ngumzali narcissistic?
Fumanisa kangangoko unakho malunga ne-narcissism, kwaye uqalise ukuqonda ukuba kwenzeke ntoni kuwe ukuba umzali okrexezayo wakukhulisa. Inyaniso mayizike kwaye ithuthuzele ngokwazi ukuba abanye abaninzi baziva iintlungu ezifanayo. Awukho wedwa.
Ukuba omnye okanye bobabini abazali bakho bebethandana, kuyakufuneka ube lusizi ngokuswelekelwa ngumzali ongazange waba naye. Kangangexesha elithile, kubalulekile ukuba buhlungu ngento yokuba khange ufumane uthando olukhulisayo olufunekayo njengomntwana.
Xa unokwamkela ilahleko yakho kwaye uyeke naziphi na iingcinga ezinokuthi umnyangi angakuthanda ngenye imini, ungakulungela ukuqhubeka nobomi bakho.
Ekuvuseleleni kwakho kwiziphumo zobuzali obukhuthazayo, kufuneka uphuhlise imida yakho, eya kwahlula kubazali bakho.
Abayi kuyithatha kakuhle le nto, kodwa ukuba ufuna ukukhululeka, kuyakufuneka unyamezele ngomsindo kunye nokuphathwa kude ube ukhululekile ukuba ube yile nto ubufanelwe ukuba yiyo.
Misela umda kwixesha olichitha nabantu abanetyhefu kwaye uzingqonge nabahlobo abasempilweni abaya kukuthanda kwaye bakwamkele njengoko unjalo.
Njengoko usiya kude nempembelelo engeyiyo yokuba ngumzali we-narcissistic, uya kuba nakho ukuphilisa okwenzeka ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Emva koko uya kuba nakho ukuxabisa kwaye ufunde ukuba uyathandeka ngenene- ukuba awunyanzelekanga ukuba uqhubeke usenza okanye ufezekisa into ukuze ungqine ukubaluleka kwakho. Uyathandeka ngenxa yokuba ungumphefumlo womntu oxabisekileyo noxabisekileyo.