Umxholo
- Zenzeka njani kwasekuqaleni
- Kutheni bahlala
- Iimpawu zokuphathwa gadalala ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasengqondweni
Ngamanye amaxesha, ufuna nje iimpawu ezicacileyo zokuba ulixhoba lokuxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni nangokweemvakalelo. Ngoba? Kuba kuninzi lwabo banobudlelwane obuxhaphazayo ngokweemvakalelo, kunzima kakhulu ukufumanisa ukuba ukunye. Kanjani? Njengoko eli nqaku liza kubonisa, zininzi izinto ezinegalelo kwimpilo yolwalamano lokuhlukumeza. Kwaye bonke badla ngokwenza kube nzima ukubona ubudlelwane ngokucacileyo ukuba buyintoni.
Zenzeka njani kwasekuqaleni
Akukho mgaqo ngokubanzi, ewe. Kodwa, kwiimeko ezininzi, kukho izikhombisi ezithile ngokubhekisele kwinto ephezulu yobudlelwane obuhlukumezekileyo obunokwenzeka. Kwaye ubukhulu becala, ezi zinto, ngelishwa, ziye zadlula ngaphambi kokuba siqwalasele ubudlelwane bezothando. Yiyo loo nto kunzima ukubona.
Kuninzi lwabantu abaxhatshaziweyo, kuyinyani ukuba bathanda ukuwa kolunye ulwalamano baye kolunye. Ukusuka ngaphandle, kuhlala kubonakala ngathi babengaboni kwaphela kulwalamano olunobubele nolulungileyo. Kwaye ukuba bayazibandakanya nomntu omnye onjalo, ubudlelwane buhlala buphela ngokukhawuleza. Unokubava besithi: “Kwakungalunganga”.
Kwaye kwakungekho. Kuba sonke ngaphezulu okanye ngaphantsi (ngaphandle kokuba sijongana ngqo nengxaki kwaye siyilungisa ngoncedo lobuchule) sinomdla wokuphinda sihlaziye ubudlelwane esasibona xa sasingabantwana. Ngokukodwa, sihlala siphindaphinda izinto ezenzeka emtshatweni wabazali bethu. Inokuthi icace gca okanye icace gca, kodwa ngaphezulu kokungafaniyo kukungabonakalisi ubudlelwane babazali kwimicimbi yethu yothando.
Kwaye ukuba ubabonile abazali bakho besiya ngapha nangapha ekuphatheni gadalala ngokweemvakalelo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane amaqabane anokukunceda uphinde ukhumbule olu hlobo lokunxibelelana. Andazi ngokwenene, kuba sonke siyavuma ukuba ukuxhatshazwa akulunganga. Kodwa, kwinqanaba elithile, uya kuthi ubone ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha gwenxa njengesiqhelo. Oku kwenzelwa bobabini, umxhaphazi kunye nexhoba.
Kutheni bahlala
Ibali lihlala likhula kunokuba lixelwe kwangaphambili. Abo bangabaxhatshazi kunye nabaphethwe gadalala babonakala bebonana ngokuchanekileyo. Phakathi kwabo bonke abantu ababangqongileyo, babonakala betsala ngomtsalane omnye komnye. Bayichithe ngoko nangoko, kwaye ilizwe libonakala ngathi linciphile ukuya kubo bobabini.
Impatho-gadalala iqala phantse kwangoko. Emva kweentsuku nje ezimbalwa okanye iiveki (kodwa rhoqo nje ngomhla wokuqala), ulindelo olufihliweyo luqala ukubumba unxibelelwano. Bobabini baqala ukudlala indima yabo. Umxhaphazi uya kuqala ukulawula, ekuqaleni ngolondolozo oluthile, kodwa kwakamsinya oku kuyakhula kube kukuxhatshazwa okupheleleyo ngokweemvakalelo.
Kwaye abo baphethwe gadalala nabo baya kusebenzisana. Uya kuqala ngokuzithoba, yonke imihla ngakumbi nangakumbi. Abangaphandle bazakuzibuza ukuba kutheni bekunyamezele ukuxhatshazwa. Ixhoba liya kubuza: “Luphi uxhatshazo?” Kwaye le yindlela yokunyaniseka. Kungenxa yokuba, njengoko sibonisile ngaphambili, kuwo omabini amaqabane, le yindlela eqhelekileyo yokunxibelelana phakathi kwamaqabane amabini athandanayo.
Into enomdla kukuba bobabini ngebabekulo naliphi na icala. Ngumba nje wokuba ngowuphi umzali abazichonge kunye naye, kunye nokuziphatha kwabo abathathe njengabo. Kodwa ubudlelwane bokuhlukumeza buhlala buqinile, nangona buqhaqhazela ngokupheleleyo xa ubonwa ngaphandle. Kungenxa yokuba bobabini basebenza ngemvumelwano egqibeleleyo nentsebenziswano. Zilungelelaniswe ngokupheleleyo kwimicimbi yazo engafanelekanga.
Iimpawu zokuphathwa gadalala ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasengqondweni
Ke, ukuba ukrokrela ukuba ukubo buhlobo obuhlukumezayo (kwaye ukuphathwa gadalala ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo kunzima kakhulu ukukuqonda ngaphakathi kwayo), kuya kufuneka uzame ukufumana umkhondo. Musa ukoyika okanye ube neentloni ngokungakuqapheli ngaphambili, kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Into entle kukuba, uza kuyibona ngoku, kwaye ungenza utshintsho olululo.
Umqondiso wokuqala kunye nokugqwesa yindlela iqabane lakho elisebenzisa ngayo uthando kunye nothando. Ngokukodwa, abahlukumezi bahlala bephosa ithambo ngamanye amaxesha. Baya kuqinisekisa ukuba kukho amaxesha anamandla othando kunye nothando. Baza kuxolisa, bakwenze ube phezulu kwihlabathi. Kwaye ukuba abangaxolisi, ngokuqinisekileyo baya kulivusa ithemba lakho lokuba kuya kuba njalo ukusuka kwinqanaba ukuya phambili. Ayizukuyenza.
Impatho gadalala izakubuya. Nantsi imiqondiso. Uhlala ubekwa phantsi. Uhlaziswa kwaye ugxekwa ngokugqithisileyo ngalo lonke ixesha. Iqabane linomona ngokungekho ngqiqweni, kodwa ngokuzimisela lifuna ukunxibelelana nabantu besini esahlukileyo.Ulungiselelwe ukuba wenze le nto bafuna ukuba uyenze. Uqinisekile ukuba lonke ityala lakho. Uzahlulwa ngokuthe ngcembe kubahlobo nakusapho. Kwaye okokugqibela, unoluvo lokuba ukuzithemba kwakho kuya kuhlala kuncipha ukusukela kanye kumhla odibana neqabane lakho.