Umxholo
- Baza kusabela njani abantwana ekwahlukaneni?
- Baza kuziva njani abantwana?
- Ungamnceda njani umntwana wakho ngeli xesha linzima?
- Nika isiqinisekiso
- Nyaniseka kubo
- Musa ukubenza bakhethe amacala
- Baqinisekise ukuba ababekeki tyala
Ukwahlukana kunokuba lixesha elinomdla kakhulu kubazali. Kungokwemvelo ukuziva ukhathazekile kwaye ulilolo. Okwangoku, kukho izigqibo kunye nezicwangciso zokwenza kwaye uqhubeke nokuba ngumzali ngaphandle kwazo zonke izidubedube ebomini bakho.
Eyona nto ixhalabisayo kwizibini ezizahlulayo yindlela ukwahlukana okunokubachaphazela ngayo abantwana kwaye baya kumelana njani notshintsho olusondeleyo kubomi bemihla ngemihla. Nokuba ukwahlukana okucwangciswe kakuhle kunye noxolo kunokuhlakulela iimvakalelo zokungaqiniseki kunye noxinzelelo ebantwaneni. Abantwana babona kwaye beziva izinto ngokwahlukileyo kubantu abadala. Banokukufumanisa kunzima ukujongana nokwahlukana kuba baziva ngathi ubomi babo bujikela ezantsi. Banokuziva:
- Umsindo
- Ixhala
- Usizi
- Ukudideka kwaye ulilolo
Abantwana bakho banokuzama ukuzifihla iimvakalelo zabo ukukhusela wena. Musa ukukujongela phantsi ukujamelana nomntwana wakho ngelo xesha. Inkxaso yakho epheleleyo kunye nokuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo kothando zizinto eziya kubanceda bamelane nezi ntsuku zokuqala zokwahlukana.
Ukwahlula xa unabantwana kunokuba nzima kakhulu. Ngaba kufuneka uthathe izigqibo ezininzi ezinje ngokuba uza kubaxelela njani abantwana bakho? Uzothini kubo? Uza kubaxelela nini? Ukwahlukana lixesha elinzima njengoko wena ngokwakho uziva ungaqinisekanga kwaye usengozini. Ngexesha elinjalo ufuna ukuxelela abantwana bakho ukuba ubomi babo buza kutshintsha ngendlela engazukubabangela uxinzelelo kunye neentlungu ezincinci.
Baza kusabela njani abantwana ekwahlukaneni?
Ukwahlula kunokuba luxinzelelo kubantwana kwaye bahlangabezana njani nako kuxhomekeke kwiimeko ezininzi:
- Indlela abazali abahlangabezana ngayo nokwahlukana kunye nolunye ubudlelwane obuqhubekayo. Ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo kunye nohlengahlengiso kulula kubantwana ukuba abazali banomdla kwiimfuno zabantwana babo.
- Iimeko ezikhokelela ekwahlukaneni. Ngaba yayinoxolo kwaye izolile okanye ngaba abantwana bangqina kuyo nayiphi na idrama okanye umlo?
- Inqanaba lokukhula kunye nobudala babantwana
- Ubume kunye nohlobo lwabantwana- ngaba zihamba lula okanye zihlala zithatha yonke into ngokungathí sina
Baza kuziva njani abantwana?
Ukwahlukana lixesha elibuhlungu kusapho lonke. Abantwana bakho basenokuziva bebekek 'ityala. Banokoyika ukushiywa kwaye bazive bengakhuselekanga. Banokuba behamba ngeemvakalelo ezininzi kwaye beziva belusizi, benomsindo, bonzakele, bothukile, boyike, bedidekile, okanye bexhalabile. Banokuba lusizi ngenxa yokuphulukana nosapho njengeyunithi. Banokuqalisa nokucinga ngokubuya kwabazali babo. Banokudibana notshintsho kwindlela yokuziphatha enjengokulinganisa, ukutsiba iiklasi okanye ukungafuni ukuya esikolweni, ukumanzisa ukhuko, ukuba yinyama okanye ukunamathela.
Ungamnceda njani umntwana wakho ngeli xesha linzima?
Nangona abazali ngokwabo bahlala bedidekile kwaye bekhathazekile ngeli xesha, kubalulekile ukuba bazame ukuqonda imeko yabantwana babo kwaye baqwalasele iimvakalelo zabo. Abantwana kufuneka bajongane nohlengahlengiso oluninzi kunye notshintsho xa abazali bahlukana: utshintsho kuqeqesho, indlela yokuphila yosapho kunye nemithetho. Kuya kufuneka bajongane nolunye utshintsho olufana nesikolo esitsha, isikolo esitsha, kunye neqabane elitsha kubomi bukanina okanye bukatata. Kananjalo kuya kufuneka banciphise ubunewunewu njengoko kuya kubakho umvuzo omncinci.
Njengabazali, luxanduva lwakho ukufikelela kule meko ngamehlo abo kwaye nibathuthuzele kwaye nibakhokele kweli xesha linzima. Izinto ekufuneka uzigcine engqondweni xa uxelela abantwana bakho ukuba uyahlula:
Nika isiqinisekiso
Umntwana wakho akaze aluthandabuze uthando lwakho ngaye. Kuya kufuneka azi ukuba bobabini abazali basamthanda. Awungekhe ulithande iqabane lakho, kodwa abantwana bayabathanda bobabini abazali kwaye banokukufumanisa kunzima ukuqonda ukuba kutheni nisahlukana. Baza kufuna ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo ukuba bobabini abazali basabathanda.
Nyaniseka kubo
Zama ukunyaniseka kangangoko unakho ngaphandle kokungena kwiinkcukacha ezingeyomfuneko. Bacacisele ngendlela elula kodwa ungalibeki iqabane lakho ityala. Baxelele ukuba bazokubona nini kwaye nini omnye umzali kwaye ngubani oza kuhamba.
Musa ukubenza bakhethe amacala
Nciphisa iingqondo zabo ngokubaxelela ukuba akufuneki bathathe icala. Ukugxeka omnye umzali phambi kwabantwana kuhlala kubenzakalisa abantwana. Abantwana babathanda bobabini abazali ke kuthintele ukuthetha izinto ezimbi malunga neqabane lakho phambi kwabo.
Baqinisekise ukuba ababekeki tyala
Baqinisekise ukuba ukwahlukana kwakho sisigqibo esenziwe macala, esabantu abadala kwaye asiyompazamo yabantwana. Zama kwakhona ukwenza utshintsho oluncinci ebomini babo kuba ukuqhelana kuya kubazisela intuthuzelo.
Njengabazali, abantwana bakwaxinekile lutshintsho kubomi babo kunye nokwahlukana kwabazali babo, kodwa ngenkathalo, ixesha kunye nenkxaso uninzi lwabantwana luziqhelanisa nolu tshintsho.