Umxholo
- Unqamko alutshabalali ngomlingo
- Ukubuza umtshato
- 1. Ngaba uloyiko lundithintela ekubeni ndithathe isigqibo?
- 2. Zithini iindleko zokuhlala uzolile
- 3. leliphi inyathelo elinye endinokulithatha ukuzisa ukucaca ngakumbi?
Sasineminyaka esibhozo sitshatile xa iingxaki zomtshato wethu zazisiya zibonakala. Ndifuna ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, obunothando ngakumbi, kunye nothando ngakumbi; umyeni wam ebecinga sihambe kakuhle. Ndaziqinisekisa ukuba umyeni wam-owayeyindoda elungileyo-wayenazo ezinye iimpawu ezintle ekufuneka ndifunde ukuphila ngaphandle konxibelelwano nothando emtshatweni wam.
Unqamko alutshabalali ngomlingo
Unxibelelwano phakathi kwethu aluzange lubengcono ngomlingo ngelixa lishiywe lingakhathalelwanga ngokuhamba kwexesha; njengokuba kunjalo, kwaba kubi ngakumbi njengoko ingqumbo yam ikhula. Kwaye ngelo xesha, ndaqala ukubuza umtshato wam. Ngaba ndingawenza lo msebenzi ngonaphakade? Ngaba iya kuze yahluke? Ngaba kwanele?
Ukubuza umtshato
Kwaye xa ndandibuza umtshato wam, ndaqala ukuxhalaba, Kuthekani ukuba ndithatha isigqibo esingalunganga?
Umbuzo omnye, Kuthekani ukuba ndithatha isigqibo esingalunganga? Ngaba yeyona nto indigcinileyo ndinamathele kukungazithembi iminyaka, ndibhidekile malunga nokuba ndihlale okanye ndihambe. Uloyiko lokuzisola lwandigcina ndingazithembanga eminye iminyaka emithathu. Mhlawumbi oku kuvakala kuqhelekile kwaye ukwindawo yokubuza umtshato wakho, usoyika ukuthatha isigqibo esingalunganga kwaye uzisole kamva.
Nantsi imibuzo emi-3 ekufuneka uzibuze yona
1. Ngaba uloyiko lundithintela ekubeni ndithathe isigqibo?
Masinyaniseke. Kuvakala kulula ukuhlala ubambelele kwisigqibo ngaphandle kokwenza isigqibo. Kungenxa yokuba ukungazithembi akufuneki nto kuthi. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba sithathe manyathelo amatsha awoyikisayo- njengokuzama ukudibanisa neqabane elikude okanye ukuthatha amanyathelo okukhulula umtshato. Igcina imeko ekhoyo phakathi kwenu njengesibini kwaye nangona ingaziva mnandi, le yintlungu oyaziyo ukuba ungayinyamezela njani kuba uyenza yonke imihla.
Ndithetha nabantu imini yonke ndisokola kwimitshato yabo kwaye igama elinye ndibava belithetha rhoqo kunalo naliphi na elinye igama elinamathelayo. Kwaye into egcina uninzi lwabantu lubambelele kuhlobo oluthile loloyiko: uloyiko lokuzisola, ukoyika ukonzakalisa amaqabane ethu okanye thina, ukoyika ukungabinamali, ukoyika ukuba wedwa, ukoyika ukuphazamisa ubomi babantwana bethu, ukoyika ukugwetywa; Ungayibiza ngamagama amaninzi, kodwa embindini wayo lolunye uhlobo lokoyika olugcina abantu befe umzimba. Asinakukutshintsha oko singafuni ukukubona, ke ukuze sidlule kuloyiko, kufuneka sikulungele ukukubona kwaye sikubize ngegama. Ngubani igama loloyiko olukugcina uzive ubambekile ngoku?
2. Zithini iindleko zokuhlala uzolile
Sihlala singazithembanga ngenxa yomngcipheko obonakalayo, kodwa ngokwenza njalo, siwuhoya umngcipheko kunye nexabiso lokwenyani lokuhlala ungathandabuzi. Mhlawumbi uyivile intetho, akukho sigqibo sisigqibo. Kungenxa yokuba sisigqibo esingazi nto sokuhlala ubambekile. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba asisenzanga eso sigqibo ngokuzazi, imibuzo iyaqhubeka nokujikeleza ezingqondweni zethu mihla le iinyanga okanye iminyaka, njengamava am. Oku kongeza ngokucacileyo kumanqanaba oxinzelelo lwethu, kusenza singagxili kakhulu, singabi nesineke, sichaphazele impilo yethu kunye nokulala kwethu, kodwa ikwathintela amandla ethu okwenza isigqibo esisiso.
Kubekho uphando oluncinci kwinto ekubhekiswa kuyo njengokudinwa kwesigqibo esingqina ukuba izigqibo ekufuneka uzenzile ixesha elininzi, kokukhona usiva utyhafile ngokwasengqondweni, ukhawuleza uzincame kwaye ke, kuncinci uxhobile ukuba uthathe isigqibo esiza kuchaphazela bonke ubomi bakho. Kwaye ngokungazi ungathathi sigqibo kwaye uhlale ubambekile "mhlawumbi," ingqondo yakho izama ukwenza eso sigqibo ngalo lonke ixesha yonke imibuzo iqala ukujikeleza. Ukuhlala unamathele kwisigqibo esichaphazela njani ubomi bakho?
3. leliphi inyathelo elinye endinokulithatha ukuzisa ukucaca ngakumbi?
Xa singenakwenza sigqibo, ukoyisa uloyiko lwethu, sinokufuna nje ukuqokelela ulwazi ngakumbi. Kuya kufuneka ukuba sibone ukuba ikhona na indlela yokunxibelelana namaqabane ethu ngendlela esingazange sibe nayo ngaphambili (okanye ixesha elide kakhulu). Kuya kufuneka sizame ukunxibelelana kwaye siphikisane ngendlela apho abantu baziva beviwe kwaye baqinisekiswa. Kusenokufuneka sichithe ixesha elithile ngokwahlukeneyo ukuze sikwazi ukubona ukuba sikhumbula omnye nomnye okanye siziva sikhululekile.
Xa singenakho ukucaca, sifuna ulwazi oluthe kratya. Kodwa ukuba awuzami kwanto, awufundi nto. Ukuba uqhubeka iipateni ezifanayo, uya kuqhubeka ukuvelisa iziphumo ezifanayo. Kwaye kukho umjikelo ongapheliyo wokubambeka kwisigqibo. Xa sikulungele ukuthatha nokuba inye entsha, isenzo esincinci sizinika ithuba lokusondela kwingcaciso kwaye ekugqibeleni size kwisigqibo esinokuthemba ukuba silungile kuthi. Leliphi inyathelo onokuthi ulithathe kule veki ukukunceda ufumane ulwazi oluthe kratya malunga nokuba umtshato ungaziva mnandi kwakhona?
Umnxeba wokugqibela
Ekugqibeleni ndenze isigqibo sokushiya umtshato wam wokuqala, kodwa kwandithatha iminyaka ukwenza eso sigqibo. Abanye babathengi bam, sele kudlule amashumi eminyaka kwisigqibo. Ngexesha elithile, iintlungu zokuhlala ungazithembi - ungaze uqhubele phambili kwaye ungaze uphinde uzibophelele kulwalamano-iba buhlungu kakhulu kwaye ekugqibeleni bakulungele ukucacelwa okwenyani. Mhlawumbi ukuthatha ixesha lokuphendula ngokwenyani le mibuzo mithathu kuya kukunceda ungabi saziva ubambekile kukungazithembi kwaye usondele kufutshane nempendulo yakho, kumtshato wakho nakubomi bakho.