Umxholo
- Umzabalazo wokwamkela inyani
- Ndiyathemba amaxesha amnandi
- Umtshato wakho ombi awulunganga kuwe
- Awuphambananga xa ucinga ngokuhamba
- Kwenzeka kubafana, nabo
- Ukwenza amalungiselelo
- Impilo yakho ixhomekeke kuyo
- Ukuhlala akuthethi ukuba usempilweni
- Ukuya phambili
Uthando ngumthombo wazo zonke izinto ezilungileyo nezimbi. Isenokuba sisizathu sokuba wenze umntu abe yinxalenye yobomi bakho ngokusisigxina, kwaye isenokuba sisizathu sokuba ungakwazi ukumyeka loo mntu. Xa ubudlelwane buba yityhefu, uthando lunokubangela ukubandezeleka kwakho.
Kufana nokukhotyokiswa yinto ethile. Ngendlela embi ngayo kuwe, wawusele uxhomekeke kuyo ukuba ukuyeka ukuhamba akuyona inketho elula. Umtshato ombi unokwenza umonakalo omkhulu kuwe njengoko iziyobisi zokwenziwa zisenza kwabo baxhaphazayo. Kwaye kufana nokuvuselelwa, kungathatha iminyaka ngaphambi kokuba uyilahle kwinkqubo yakho.
Umzabalazo wokwamkela inyani
Wonke umntu okhe wanobudlelwane bexesha elide, ngakumbi abo batshatileyo, uyawazi lo mlo: ngaba uhlala kubudlelwane obubi, okanye ngaba uzipha ithuba phaya?
Umbuzo kulindeleke ukuba ubelula ukuwuphendula kuba abantu bayahamba ukusuka ebantwini ngalo lonke ixesha. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba nobabini nityale iminyaka kubudlelwane, kuyakubakho ukubuyela umva nangaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo ngokupheleleyo.
Ndiyathemba amaxesha amnandi
Ukuthatha ukuba ufuna ukuhamba, ngekhe kube lula. Ngalo lonke ixesha ucinga ukuba ulungile, ukhumbula kwaye unethemba lokuba amaxesha amnandi aya kubuya. Kunzima ngakumbi xa unosapho kuba ufuna bakhule ngenkxaso abayifunayo, ekunokuba nzima ukuyifeza xa bobabini abazali beqhawule umtshato.
Kukho izinto ezifanelekileyo ngakumbi. Iziphumo zemali azizukuba lula, kwaye kuya kuthatha ixesha ngaphambi kokuba uhlengahlengise imeko yakho entsha.
Zonke ezi zinto zibangela uloyiko emntwini olubenza boyike izinto ezizayo emva komtshato. Nokuba umtshato awusasebenzi, kulula kakhulu ukubambelela entweni kunokuthatha ithuba lakho ngaphandle kwento.
Umtshato wakho ombi awulunganga kuwe
Kunzima ukubona ukuba umtshato wakho, okanye iqabane lakho, akulunganga kuwe ngaphakathi. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, usabona eyona nguqulelo ilungileyo yomntu otshatileyo. Kodwa kukho iimpawu ezixeliweyo xa umtshato wakho ulungile kuwe.
Xa uzifumanisa uxoka ngobudlelwane bakho, loo nto sele inqaku elinye eliphambili. Xa usenza ezinye izinto njengokucinga kuphela ngolonwabo lwabo, sombulula zonke iingxaki okanye uzive ungonwabanga ngalo lonke ixesha, oko kuthetha ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngobudlelwane. Okungakumbi, xa omnye umntu elawula kakhulu, ingcebiso usika amaqhina ebantwini, ikwenza uzive ungazithandi okanye uyithathe kancinci xa bekucaphukisile, ayisiyonto ilungileyo.
Awuphambananga xa ucinga ngokuhamba
Xa ucinga ngomtshato njengotyalo-mali, into oyinike iminyaka yobomi bakho, abanye abantu banokucinga ukuba uphambene ukuba ucinge ngokushiya. Kodwa yahlukile xa uyazi ngaphakathi, ukwazi ukuba ukubuya kuya kukurhuqela ezantsi kwaye kukwenze ujonge.
Ngaphezu koko, kukho izinto ezenzeka ngaphakathi ezingqina ukuba awuphumanga engqondweni ukuba ushiye. Xa usenziwa ubuqhetseba, uziva ukuba nokuba ucinga ngokuqhawula umtshato uza kukubeka ityala, okanye ukuziphindezela kunokwenzeka, ungcono ngalo naliphi na ixesha losuku.
Kwenzeka kubafana, nabo
Onke amadoda ayivile iteration of "Hlala kude ne-crazies" ebomini babo. Ngamanye amaxesha, lihambile ixesha kwaye batshata omnye. Libali elifanayo lokuphatha, ukuziphindezela, kunye nosizi olwenzeka kubafazi kumtshato ombi, kodwa uninzi lucinga ukuba amadoda ayanyamezela. Baye bahlupheka nabo, njengabafazi.
Kukho amatyala aqheleke ngakumbi emadodeni kwimitshato emibi. Baqala ukucinga ukuba bayaphambana ukunqanda ukubeka ityala kwelinye iqela, elingumthombo wokungazinzi kulwalamano. Abanye abantu banamaqabane ahlala ebatyhola ngezinto abangazenzanga, iya kukuchitha amandla akho, uhlala uzama ukubabonisa ukuba baphosakele xa ungakhange wenze nto.
Kodwa inye into abafana abaninzi abangayivumiyo kukuba baphuma baziva bengaphezulu xa behlala kubudlelwane obungasebenziyo. Izenzo zabo zisenokungabi yingozi njengamaqabane abo, kodwa ngokuhlala kwaye bathande uvakalelo lokuba iqabane lakho alihambanga kakuhle kubudlelwane ngelixa uphakamisa elakho, ayilunganga. Njengokuba ucinga ukuba ukhona ukuhlangula umtshato, ukhona kuphela ngenxa yokuba ubonakalisa ubulungisa bakho. Akunjalo kuphela ukuba awukwazi ukujongana neziphene zakho, igunya lokuziphatha ohlala kulo lingakhokelela kuphela kwizinto ezimbi.
Ukwenza amalungiselelo
Njengomntu otshatileyo, akuyi kuba lula ukushiya. Yiyo loo nto ukwenza amalungiselelo kububulumko, ukuze ube nayo yonke into oyifunayo, uxelele abantu ekufuneka ubuxelele, kwaye uzilungiselele ngengqondo okuzayo.
Yazisa abantu obathandayo- Okwangoku, kuya kufuneka wazise abantu malunga nezinto ogqithileyo kuzo. Ukuva iingcinga zabo kunye nenkxaso yabo kunokukwenza uziphathe kakuhle. Kungcono kakhulu ukuba awunyanzelekanga ukuba uye kumava wedwa. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ubukho bosapho kunye nabahlobo yeyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka ubenayo ngeli xesha lokuzama.
Yenza umnatha wokhuseleko-Kwinxalenye enkulu, uya kufunda ukuzimela. Cinga ixesha elide kwaye kunzima malunga nento ekufuneka unayo xa nobabini nigqibe kwelokuba nizahlule. Qiniseka ukuba uyazi ukuba uza kuhlala phi, kufuneka uze nantoni, njalo njalo. Xa ekugqibeleni wenza izityhilelo zakho, awudingi ukuhlala endaweni enye neqabane lakho.
Funa uncedo lobuchwephesha-Nokuba uthatha isigqibo sokushiya ngenxa yokuba ubudlelwane bunetyhefu, oko akuthethi ukuba awunazo iimpazamo. Mhlawumbi uneempazamo ezadlala indima ekonakaleni kobudlelwane, ke musa ukuya kwinqanaba lakho elilandelayo ucinga ukuba uphumile ungenzanga nto. Unomsebenzi ekufuneka wenzile, nawo.
Impilo yakho ixhomekeke kuyo
Umtshato unokuba yeyona nto yanelisayo owakhe wayenza, kodwa xa ithe yaphambuka, inokubonakalisa. Amaxesha amaninzi, ikrazula imbono yomntu wothando nobudlelwane, kodwa isifundo esapapashwa kwi-American Psychologist sathi kukho ubungqina obubambekayo bokuba ubudlelwane obubi bunokuzenza mandundu izifo ezinjengesifo sentliziyo. Abantu abakwimitshato emibi bakhulisa imikhwa eyonakalisayo njengokutshaya, ukusela okanye ukutyeba, ekunokuthi konke kube kubi xa kudityaniswe nemeko yentliziyo esele ikhona.
Ukuhlala akuthethi ukuba usempilweni
Kukho izizathu ezivakalayo zokuhlala kumtshato ombi. Abantwana, kwelinye, banokuba nefuthe elinamandla kubomi babazali. Babodwa abanokuqinisekisa umzali ukuba anyamezele ubudlelwane obonakalisayo ngokungapheliyo, kodwa abazali basemngciphekweni kule meko.
Nokuba isempilweni kangakanani na, umtshato ongalunganga unokukutyhala ukuba wenze izinto eziza konakalisa unxibelelwano lwakho neqabane lakho. Ukuhlala kungangunobangela wokungathembeki, ukungaziphathi kakuhle, indlela enogonyamelo, ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, kunye nezinye izinto ezininzi ezonakalisayo. Awuzitshabalalisi nje kuphela, uya kuchaphazela nosapho lwakho.
Ukuya phambili
Nje ukuba konke kuthethwe kwaye kwenziwe, into enye eya kunyanga izinto lixesha. Kubalulekile ukuba ubuye kwakhona kuba ngenxa yokonakalisa njengobudlelwane obubi, usizi kunye nokutyholwa okuzayo emva kwayo kukwayimiqobo ephambili. Ukucetyiswa kuya kunceda, kodwa qiniseka ukuthatha ixesha ngokwakho. Yenza inkqubo yokwahlukana, ufumane umbono wezinto, kwaye wazi ukuba yeyiphi indima oyidlalileyo kuxhwilo.
Unyamezele ixesha elide kunokuba kufanelekile, kwaye uza kudlula ngaphezulu ngaphambi kokuba ufike kwindawo apho useluxolweni kunye nento eyenzekileyo. Abantu abadlule kwinto enye bathi kufana nokothuka kweshell. Yiyo loo nto ixesha lotshintsho lubalulekile, ukuze uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde uphinde kwakhona xa uzama ukugcina inqanawa eyayizika. Kuthatha okuninzi ngakumbi kuwe kunokuba ucinga.
Luhlobo lokuphambana ukwahlukana linyathelo lokuqala, kodwa njengakuqala konke okutsha, kufanele ukuba kuvela ndaweni ithile. Yindlela enzima ukusuka apha, kodwa ngaphandle kwempahla, iya kuba mbalwa kakhulu njengokubaleka isinki ngakumbi njengokukhwela ileli.
UAndrea Hunt
Eli nqaku libhalwe nguAndrea. Ungumbhali osisiporho kwi-Oceanalaw.com.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ungaphuma Njani Emtshatweni Ongalunganga