Umxholo
- 1. Nxibelelana ngokuphandle kwaye ucwangcise kwangaphambili
- 2. Beka phambili izicwangciso / izithethe zakho
- 3. Kulungile ukuthi hayi
- 4. Gcinanani
- 5. Bonisanani
- 6. Hlala kufutshane
- 7. Musa ukuvumela iqabane lakho ukuba lingaphandle
- 8. Sukutshintsha isicwangciso
- 9. Cwangcisa ixesha "lethu"
Njenge-PACT (Indlela ye-Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) Inqanaba II izibini ezitshatileyo, ndiyakholelwa ngamandla kumandla obudlelwane obukhuselekileyo.
Owona mgaqo ubalulekileyo we-PACT ufuna ukuba amaqabane abeke ubudlelwane bawo phambili kwaye enze isifungo sokukhuselana ngasese nasesidlangalaleni, ukufezekisa ubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo, obudibeneyo kunye nobusempilweni.
Isivumelwano ekuthethwa ngaso sisithembiso phakathi kwamaqabane ukuba nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, baya kuhlala bekwiqela elinye.
Oku kuzinikela kwimpilo-ntle yomnye nomnye kuphucula kakhulu ukhuseleko kunye nobudlelwane.
Ngeeholide ezizayo, uninzi lwabantu kubandakanya izibini zinamava enkwantya kunye nokukhathazeka, endaweni yolonwabo. Bayoyika ukuchitha ixesha elide kunye namalungu osapho anokuba ngumceli mngeni wokunxibelelana kwaye bazive bexinekile ngocwangciso lokutya kunye nokuthenga izipho.
Nazi ezinye izicwangciso ezikhuselekileyo ezisebenzisayo izibini eziqeshayo ukufikelela kwiiholide
1. Nxibelelana ngokuphandle kwaye ucwangcise kwangaphambili
Qalisa iincoko malunga neziganeko zosapho ezizayo kunye neqabane lakho kwangethuba ukuze nobabini nibe nokudibanisa iintloko kwaye nize necebo. Iingxoxo ezinjalo zikwimeko ekhuselekileyo yokuba elinye iqabane lihlanganyele uloyiko lwalo, inkxalabo, kunye noxinzelelo ukuba elinye iqabane lihlala livulekile, lamkelekile kwaye linovelwano.
Icandelo lokucwangcisa kufuneka libe neenkcukacha ezinje ngokuba ufuna ukuhlala ixesha elingakanani kwindibano yosapho lwakho kunye nokuba zeziphi izinto eniza kuzisebenzisa ukubonisa omnye komnye ukuba uziva ungonwabanga.
Ukuba ubamba umsitho, unokuba neengxoxo malunga nolwakhiwo kunye nexesha lokuhlangana.
2. Beka phambili izicwangciso / izithethe zakho
Yazi malunga nento wena neqabane lakho eningathanda ukuyenza ngeeholide kunye nezithethe enifuna ukuqala nobabini okanye ukuzihlakulela.
Isithethe sakho seeholide kufuneka sithabathe indawo ephambili kunesiko losapho olongezelelekileyo.
Ukuba ubamba isidlo sangokuhlwa okanye indibano, yazisa iindwendwe zakho ukuba ulindele ukuba zihloniphe izithethe kunye nemikhuba onqwenela ukuba nayo neqabane lakho ngexesha lesidlo.
3. Kulungile ukuthi hayi
Ukuba wena neqabane lakho ninqwenela ukuchitha ixesha leholide nihamba okanye nihlala ekhaya endaweni yokuzihlawula nosapho olwandisiweyo, khululeka ngokuthi hayi kwizimemo.
Ukuba unyanisekile ebantwini malunga nokuba kutheni ungakwazi ukuya kumnyhadala weholide, kunqabile ukuba bawuthathe buhlungu okanye bazive bekhubekile.
Dlulisa ngokucacileyo nangokufutshane ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho ningathanda ukuchitha iholide ekhaya okanye mhlawumbi nindizela eCaribbean.
4. Gcinanani
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuchitha iholide nosapho olongezelelekileyo, nikela ingqalelo kulwakhiwo lomzimba lweqabane lakho, imbonakalo yobuso, kunye nemiyalezo yomlomo ngayo nayiphi na imiqondiso ebonisa ukuba baziva bengonwabanga.
Ukuba ubona iqabane lakho lisongelwe lilungu losapho elinzima, ngenelela ngendlela enobuchule ukuze unike intuthuzelo nenkxaso kwiqabane lakho ngaphandle kokukhohlakala kwabanye.
Yiba ngumlingani weqabane lakho xa ubona iqabane lakho lisokola okanye liziva likhululekile.
5. Bonisanani
Kwindibano yosapho okanye umsitho, jonga kwiqabane lakho rhoqo ukuze uqiniseke ukuba balungile.
Unokuvumelana ngezinto ezithile kwangaphambili eninokuzisebenzisa ukunxibelelana ngaphandle kokwazisa abanye. Ukujongwa rhoqo kwamehlo kunye nokutshekishwa okungacacanga komlomo njengokukhawuleza "yonke into ilungile?" kunokuba luncedo.
6. Hlala kufutshane
Sebenzisa onke amathuba owafumanayo okusondela emzimbeni kwiqabane lakho. Hlalani ecaleni komnye nomnye kwitafile yesidlo sangokuhlwa okanye esofeni, nibambane izandla, nigonane okanye nihlikihle umqolo weqabane lakho.
Ukuthinta ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nokusondela kubonisa ukhuseleko kunye nokuqinisekisa.
7. Musa ukuvumela iqabane lakho ukuba lingaphandle
Kwiimeko apho iqabane lakho lingazi abantu abaninzi okanye mhlawumbi lisiya kwindibano yosapho lwakho okokuqala, sukuvumela iqabane lakho ukuba lodwa.
Ukuba kuyabonakala kuwe ukuba iqabane lakho libonakala lishiyiwe okanye lahlukile, libandakanye kwiincoko zakho kwaye ungashiyi icala labo.
8. Sukutshintsha isicwangciso
Le ngcebiso ibaluleke kakhulu.
Sukuphambuka kwisicwangciso nobabini nivumelene ngokulandela kwangaphambili. Ukuba nobabini nigqibe kwelokuba nihambe emva kwexesha elithile, qinisekani ukuba niyahamba. Sukuyityeshela imikhwa yeqabane lakho yokuba bayaxakaniseka kwaye mhlawumbi bangathanda ukushiya kwangoko.
9. Cwangcisa ixesha "lethu"
Yiba nento emnandi oyicwangcisileyo wena neqabane lakho, emva komsitho wosapho.
Mhlawumbi kungokuhlwa okuzolileyo kunye, ukubaleka kwezothando okanye ukubhiyozela nina nobabini! Unento entle onokujonga phambili kuyo, emva kokufezekisa uxanduva lwakho lweholide.