Umxholo
Ke ngoku umtshato ngowezitabane .... sazabalaza, salwa, ekugqibeleni siphumelele! Kwaye ngoku ukuba iNkundla ePhakamileyo yawubhalisa ngokusemthethweni umtshato wamafanasini phantse kunyaka ophelileyo namhlanje, ivula ibhetshi entsha yemibuzo kubantu be-LGBT kwilizwe liphela.
Uthetha ukuthini umtshato?
Ndiqinisekile ukuba ndiyafuna nokutshata? Ngaba ukutshata kuthetha ukuba ndihamba nje kwisithethe se-heteronormative? Ukwahlukana kwimitshato yabantu besini esinye kunokwahluka njani kumtshato ochanekileyo?
Ngobomi bam bonke, bendingacingi ukuba umtshato yeyona nto inokukhetha kum njengendoda enobungqingili, kwaye ngandlela thile, ndaye ndafumanisa ukuba isiqabu. Khange ndibenalo uxinzelelo malunga nokufumana iqabane elifanelekileyo lomtshato, ukucwangcisa umtshato, ukubhala izifungo ezigqibeleleyo, okanye ukuzisa amalungu osapho ahlukeneyo kunye kwiimeko ezinzima.
Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, bekungafuneki ukuba ndizive kakubi ngam ukuba anditshatanga kwaphela. Ndinikwe ipasile yasimahla ukunqanda izinto ezininzi ezinokubangela uxinzelelo kuba andibonwa ndilingana emehlweni karhulumente.
Ngoku yonke loo nto itshintshile.
Ngoku ndisebenza nomfana omangalisayo kwaye sitshata eMaui kulo-Okthobha. Ngoku umtshato uphezu kwetafile, kunyanzelekile izigidi zabantu, kubandakanya nam, ukuba zivavanye ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukutshata njengomntu we-LGBT, kunye nendlela yokuhamba kulo mda mtsha.
Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba nditshate ngaphandle kweemvakalelo zam zokuqala kuba ndandifuna ukuqonda ngeli thuba lokuba ndibonwe njengolinganayo emehlweni omthetho, kwaye ndivakalise ukuzibophelela kwam kubudlelwane obunothando neqabane lam, ngelixa ndisabelana ngovuyo nabahlobo bam kunye nosapho. Ndifuna nokusebenzisa amanye amalungelo okutshata ukuba ndiyafuna, anje ngekhefu okanye amalungelo okundwendwela esibhedlele.
Enye yeenkxalabo ze-LGBT abantu abanazo xa betshata kukuziva benoxinzelelo lokuhambelana nezithethe ze-heteronormative ezazihamba kunye neziko lomtshato
Kubalulekile njengendoda etshatileyo ukutshata ukuze uhlale uzikhangela ukuze uqiniseke ukuba umtshato wakho ozayo uziva ungoyena mntu unguye. Kungenxa yokuba yayisisithethe sokuthumela iimemo zamaphepha, oko akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka. Umlingane wam kwaye sithumela izimemo ze-imeyile kwaye saya "kwidijithali", kuba baninzi kuthi. Sigqibe kwelokuba sicwangcise isidlo sangokuhlwa esithandekayo elunxwemeni emva komnyhadala omncinci wolwandle, kungabikho mdaniso kunye no-DJ emva, njengoko sobabini sidlamkile. Ukugcina umtshato wakho unyanisekile njengoko unako. Ukuba awuthandi ukunxiba iringi kumnwe wakho wasekhohlo, musa ukuyinxiba! Njengabantu abathandana nesini esinye, sihlala sikubhiyozela ukungafani kwethu kunye nokuqala kwethu emhlabeni. Ukufumana indlela yokugcina oku kuphila ngomtshato wakho nangomtshato kubaluleke kakhulu.
Omnye umba abajamelana nawo abantu abatshatileyo kukutshata
Kwimitshato yemveli engokwesini esahlukileyo, ihlala iyintsapho yomtshakazi ehlawulayo kwaye icwangcise umtshato. Kumtshato wamafanasini, banokubakho abatshakazi ababini, okanye bangabikho kwaphela. Kubaluleke ngakumbi ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho kangangoko kunokwenzeka kuyo yonke inkqubo. Ukubuza imibuzo malunga nokuba zeziphi ezona zinto zilunge ngakumbi kuni nobabini, kwaye ngubani oza kuthatha eyiphi imisebenzi, enokunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo. Umlingane wam wenza ngaphezulu kokucwangcisa malunga nesidlo sakusihlwa, kwaye ndithatha izinto ezifana nokwenza iwebhusayithi yethu yomtshato. Umntu ngamnye makenze isigqibo ngeyona nto ayenzayo, kwaye abe nencoko malunga nokucwangciswa.
Olunye usukelo olukhulu langaphambi komtshato kufuneka ibe kukuncokola neqabane lakho malunga nayo nayiphi na imiba enokubakho enicinga ukuba inokuthi ifike kumgca womtshato wakho
Njengabantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye, sihlala siphathwa njengangaphantsi kunakwithuba elithile ebomini bethu. . Kuyinyani oku ukuya emtshatweni, kwaye unxibelelwano olomeleleyo luya kuba yinto ephambili ekuchazeni ukuba injani. Ithetha ntoni into yokuba ngamnye wenu enze ukuzibophelela emtshatweni? Ngaba ukuzibophelela kuthetha ukuba nemvakalelo kuwe, ngaba ikwabandakanya ukuba neqabane elinye ngokwasemzimbeni, okanye uwubona njani umtshato? Ekugqibeleni, wonke umtshato unokwahluka, kwaye kuthetha ntoni ukutshata kunokwahluka. Kubalulekile ukuba ezi ncoko zihambe phambili.
Okokugqibela kodwa kungaphelelanga apho, ukuya emtshatweni njengomntu we-LGBT, kuya kuba kubalulekile ukuba usebenze ngalo naliphi na ihlazo langaphakathi eliza malunga nokutshata.
Ixesha elide, abantu abathandana nesini esinye babephathwa njengangaphantsi kunoko sihlala sinika imvakalelo yokuba asonelanga. Musa ukuzithengisa ngokufutshane xa kuziwa kumtshato wakho. Ukuba kukho into oziva ngamandla ngayo, qiniseka ukuba iviwe nguwe kunye nabantu obathandayo. Usuku lwakho lomtshato kufuneka lube lukhethekileyo. Ukuba uqaphela ukuba uneemvakalelo zokuzibamba, zama ukuqaphela oko kwaye wazi ngako. Ukubona i-Therapist kunokuba luncedo olukhulu.