Umxholo
- Yintoni umona?
- Uvela phi umona?
- Ngaba umona usempilweni kubudlelwane?
- Ukhangeleka njani umona ophilileyo?
- Uyiphatha njani ikhwele elingafanelekanga?
- Ngaphezulu kokulawula iqabane lakho
- Urhano olungekho semthethweni
- Yeka ukwenza iimeko
- Nxibelelana
- Qonda ukuba umona uvelaphi
- Isiphelo
Umona kubudlelwane awukhe uve. Ngapha koko, yimvakalelo eqhelekileyo. Inokubangela ukuba izibini zisondele okanye zibenze bahlukane. Asiyonto yokugxeka okanye ukohlwaya. Umona nobudlelwane buyahambelana.
Ngaba ikhwele lisempilweni kubudlelwane, okanye umona umbi?
Ikhwele elisempilweni kulwalamano lwenzeka xa iqabane liyiphatha ngokuqola kwaye linxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ukungabinaso isibambo esifanelekileyo kule mvakalelo kunokukhokelela kumona, kwaye kube nzima xa kungatshabalali, ubudlelwane.
UAbraham Buunk, uNjingalwazi owaziwayo kwi-Evolutionary Social Psychology kwiYunivesithi yaseGroningen, wathi umona yimvakalelo eyonakalisayo. Ke ngoko, ukuqonda ukuba yintoni ebangela umona, yintoni umona ophuma kuyo kuya kukunceda uthintele le mvakalelo ekuonakaliseni ubudlelwane bakho.
Yintoni umona?
Nangona umona kubudlelwane ungakhokelela kumona kunye ne-plethora yeemvakalelo ezingalunganga, kwahlukile kumona. Ngomona uziva ungakhathali ngokwenzekileyo okanye okwenzekayo, kodwa ngomona ulwa nezinto ezingaziwayo kwaye uvumela ukucinga kwakho konakalise ubudlelwane bakho.
Ke, yintoni umona?
Ngokuka-rendogog.com, isichazi-magama sezengqondo;
“Umona yimvakalelo entsonkothileyo ephawulwe kukungazithembi kunye nokoyika ukulahleka kwento ebalulekileyo. Kuboniswa kukuziva ulahliwe kunye nomsindo. Umona wahlukile kumona (nangona ezi zinto zimbini zisetyenziswa ngokutshintshisanayo) kuba umona kukufuna into yomnye umntu. ”
Njengoko kuchaziwe apha ngasentla, umona uhlala ubangelwa xa sele uza kuphulukana nento okanye umntu obalulekileyo.
Ke sukuzibetha xa uhlala ubuza umbuzo, "kutheni ndinomona ngokulula?" Woyika ukuphulukana nomntu omthandayo.
Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba ungavumeli uloyiko luthathe iingcinga zakho kwaye lutshabalalise ubudlelwane bakho. Ngaba umona usempilweni kubudlelwane unokuphendulwa kuphela zizibini ezitshatileyo. Kuphela zizibini ezinamandla okumisela indlela yokuphatha iimvakalelo zabo zomona.
Sukuba nexhala okanye ukhathazeke ukuba uziva ukuba ubuntu bakho bujika ngendlela engeyiyo ngenxa yomona. Ngoncedo olufanelekileyo, ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho, kunye nokuqonda isizathu salo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ujike izinto.
Uvela phi umona?
Ke, kutheni ndinomona ngokulula?
Okokuqala, kufuneka uyazi ukuba yintoni ebangela umona. Ngaba uyasokola ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho? Ngaba sisiphumo sokungaphumeleli kubudlelwane obudlulileyo? Okanye kumtshato ohlulekileyo womzali wakho okhokelele ekusweleni kwakho ukholo kuthando, ubudlelwane kunye nosapho?
Ukuba ufuna ukufumana into isebenza kwakhona, kufuneka uqale ufumanise ukuba yintoni kanye ephosakeleyo.
Umona ukhona kubo bonke ubudlelwane, nokuba bubudlelwane obusenyongweni okanye ubudlelwane phakathi komntwana nomzali okanye umzali wakhe okanye abantakwabo. Umntwana omncinci kangangeenyanga ezintandathu unokubonisa iimpawu zekhwele xa umzali eqala ukuhoya omnye umntwana.
Ngaba uhlala ubuza umbuzo, ingaba umona uqhelekile, okanye umona uphilile kubudlelwane? Ewe yiyo.
Yintoni eyenza ukuba uthathe olo tshintsho entanyeni ukuze ungene kwifowuni yakho ebalulekileyo? Kutheni uxhalaba ngakumbi kunesiqhelo xa kuhlwile, kwaye iqabane lakho alikabikho ekhaya? Okanye uyazibuza ukuba kutheni unomona ngokulula?
Ukufumanisa ukuba umona uvela phi kunokukunceda ulawule.
Kukho iindawo ezimbini eziqhelekileyo apho umona unokuvela khona:
- Ukungazithembi
- Xa iqabane lakho liyimfihlo, linomthunzi, kwaye likude.
Izizathu ezininzi zinokubangela umona njengaye
- Iqabane likude,
- Ukutyeba kwakho
- Ukungabinamsebenzi
- Ummelwane onomtsalane ngakumbi, okanye umhlobo kwindawo yokusebenza yeqabane.
Ngamanye amaxesha umona kubudlelwane awunakuvela kwinto eyenziwe liqabane lakho kodwa kukungazithembi. Ukungazithembi kulutshaba kwinkqubela phambili; izala uthelekiso olunokuchitha ubudlelwane.
- Ukuzingca ngomnye umsunguli womona. Iqabane lakho livumelekile ukubonisa uthando kubahlobo abasenyongweni okanye nakwabanye abantu ongabaziyo.
Kukho amaxesha apho ufuna nje zonke kuwe kodwa ukhumbule ukuba umntu ngamnye kubudlelwane kubalulekile.
Kuya kufuneka uthembe kwaye uhloniphe iqabane lakho ngokwaneleyo ukuze wazi ukuba imisebenzi okanye umdla awuyonxalenye yayo ayithethi ukuba kukho into embi eqhubekayo.
Ngaba umona usempilweni kubudlelwane?
Ukuphendula umbuzo, ingaba umona usempilweni kubudlelwane? Ewe, umona omncinci kubudlelwane usempilweni. Ke ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ubuza umbuzo, ngaba umona uyinto eqhelekileyo?
Khumbula ukuba umona awuqhelekanga kwaye ulindelwe kubudlelwane bonke, kodwa kukho umona osempilweni.
Qaphela ukuba umona kubudlelwane ungabinampilo. Ukuba umona ukwazisa ngesoyikiso, kukhuselekile ukuba ungazichaza gwenxa ezinye iimeko. Ukwazi ukuphatha umona ngokufanelekileyo, kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba ngumona osempilweni okanye likhwele elingafanelekanga.
Ke ikhwele livela phi, ngaba umona yimvakalelo?
Umona yimvakalelo edalwe luthando, ukungazithembi, ukungathembi, okanye ukuzithemba. Ubudlelwane obuphilileyo obuzaliswe yintlonipho kunye nokuthembana kuya kubangela umona osempilweni. Kukho unxibelelwano oluhle kakhulu, ukuthembana okuqinileyo, intliziyo emameleyo, kunye neqabane elinobuhlobo kubudlelwane obuphilileyo.
Umona kuphela onokukhula kubudlelwane obunempilo yinto elungileyo.
Nangona kunjalo, umona osekwe kukungazithembi ngumona ongafanelekanga. Isayikholoji yomona kubudlelwane iyavuma ukuba sonke sifuna ukuba liziko lokuqwalaselwa ngamaqabane ethu.
Ke sinokuziva ngathi sishiyiwe, ukuba ingqalelo ijolise komnye umntu, nokuba mfutshane kangakanani. Nangona kunjalo, indlela oyisingatha ngayo imeko enjalo yeyokuba iya kuqhekeka okanye yenze ubudlelwane bakho.
Ukhangeleka njani umona ophilileyo?
Izinto ezibangela umona kukukwazisa ngesoyikiso kubudlelwane bakho. Yintoni ebangela umona kukuziphatha kweqabane lakho okanye umntu.
Ikhwele elifanelekileyo kubudlelwane lithetha ukuba uyalithanda kwaye uyoyika ukuphulukana neqabane lakho. Ukuba uziva unobangela wobukhwele, yazisa iqabane lakho. Ngale ndlela, isenzo esidale imvakalelo enjalo sinokujongana naso.
Iqabane lakho liza kuziva lithandwa, lixatyisiwe kwaye liyazi ukuba ubudlelwane buthetha lukhulu kuwe kolu hlobo lwemeko. Incoko iya kubonisa ukuba ulwalamano ixesha elide. Iya kukwakha ukuthembana kwaye ikuncede wena neqabane lakho nisondelelane.
Xa ungayifumani ingqalelo, uqhelile, umona uyakhaba. Kodwa oku akukwenzi ube ngumntu ombi; Ufuna nje ukuqinisekiswa liqabane lakho. Kulapho amanyathelo onxibelelwano angena khona. Chaza nje iimvakalelo zakho kwiqabane lakho kwaye ubukele ukuba umona osempilweni uyancipha.
Jonga le vidiyo ukukunceda ubone ukuba umona usempilweni kubudlelwane:
Uyiphatha njani ikhwele elingafanelekanga?
Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho busilela ukuthembana, unxibelelwano, okanye iqabane elingamameliyo, kunokuba nzima ukufumana umona wakho, uwenze ungabinampilo.
Ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba umona awulunganga okanye umona usempilweni kubudlelwane?
Umona uba yimpilo xa uphulukana nolawulo lweengcinga zakho, kwaye wenza iingcinga ezizizimo zokuzalwa, imilo enokonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho. Umona uchaphazela lonke ubudlelwane, kodwa kuxhomekeke kwizibini ukuba zichonge ukuba ziya kuchaphazela okuhle okanye okungalunganga
Qinisekisa ukuba awuzenzakalisi yonke into elungileyo eyenziweyo ngokubambelela kwisenzo sabo kwiingcinga ezimbi. Phambi kokuba uphathe umona ongenampilo, kubalulekile ukuba uphendule umbuzo, umona uziva njani? Ezinye zeempawu zibandakanya:
Ukuba iqabane lizama ukulawula yonke imiba yobomi bomnye umlingane ngenxa yokungathembani okanye ukungazithembi, loo nto ngumona ongafanelekanga. Ukulawula ubomi beqabane lakho ngaphezulu kunokukhokelela ekufundeni imiyalezo yabo, i-imeyile, ukubathintela ekutyeleleni iindawo ezithile okanye ukuphuma ngaphandle kwakho.
Esi simo sengqondo sinokukhokelela kubudlelwane obungenampilo kwaye senze izinto zingonwabi kakhulu kwiqabane lakho.
NgokukaGqirha Parmar ovela kwizifo zengqondo zoluntu,
“Ukuziva unelifa malunga neqabane lakho, ungabavumeli bahlangane nabanye abantu okanye abahlobo babo ngokukhululekileyo, babeke iliso kwimisebenzi yabo kwaye bahlala phi, ukutsiba kwizigqibo ezingalunganga ukuba abawuphenduli umyalezo wakho okanye umnxeba zezinye zeempawu ezilumkisayo zomona ongafanelekanga , ”
Kuqhelekile ukuba nomona xa ubona umntu edlala ngothando kunye neqabane lakho. Ukuxoxa ngayo nabo kunokukuvumela ukuba uphathe imeko ngokuchanekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba incoko eqhelekileyo kunye nomhlobo okanye umntu osebenza naye inokubangela umona kuwe, kuya kufuneka uphinde uphonononge iimvakalelo zakho.
Ukuba uchitha usuku lwakho usenza iimeko malunga neqabane lakho lokungathembeki, umona onjalo awulunganga.
Ukuba iqabane lakho alikuniki ngqwalaselo yaneleyo okanye ukrokrela ukuba iqabane lakho liyakukhohlisa, sukuthula. Thetha neqabane lakho malunga neemvakalelo zakho kwaye uthethe phandle.
Musa ukwenza iimeko ezingenakwenzeka engqondweni yakho okanye uhambe ngefowuni yamaqabane akho. Okubi nangakumbi, musa ukubambeka kunye nokubeka iliso kubo. Ukuba uqhubeka nokwenza iimeko ngokusekwe kumyalezo obonileyo othetha into eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo, ubudlelwane bakho bunokuwohloka.
Kufuneka wenze ntoni xa uziva unomona?
NXIBELELANA, NXIBELELANA, KUNYE NXIBELELANE Okunye okuninzi.
Nokuba ungaliva kangaphi ixesha lokufunda oku, ukunxibelelana ngokoyika, ukukhathazeka, imiba yokuthembela, kunye nokungazithembi kuya kukuhlangula ekuphulukaneni nobudlelwane bakho.
Nxibelelana neqabane lakho ukuba ukrokrela into; ukuba akwenzi njalo, ixhala linokukutya litshintshe umona wakho ube mpilweni. Yiba nomonde, uqonde, kwaye wamkele unxibelelwano oluhle. Mamela iinkxalabo neqabane lakho kwaye ubaxelele nezakho.
Xa uqala ukuthelekelela iqabane lakho ukukopela kuwe, beka iziqhoboshi kwingcinga yakho. Buyela umva uyokumisela ukuba yintoni ebangele ezo ngcinga kwaye yintoni ebangele umona. Ngaba yinto eyenziwe liqabane lakho, okanye ngaba awuzithembanga?
Zibuze ukuba umona uvelaphi. Kuphela kuxa ufumana umthombo apho unokujongana nekhwele elingafanelekanga kubudlelwane.
Isiphelo
Impendulo yombuzo ngumona ophilileyo kubudlelwane, okanye ikhwele liqhelekileyo? Ngu “EWE” Musa ukukhathazeka xa uzibona unomona ngezinto ezincinci; yenzeka kuye wonke umntu.
Nangona kunjalo, ungazami ukuyiphatha wedwa, njengoko inokukhokelela kumona ongenampilo. Awunakho ukusombulula iingxaki zakho wedwa, ngakumbi ngakumbi xa kubandakanya ubudlelwane kuba kuthatha abantu ababini ukuze busebenze.
Thetha neqabane lakho malunga noku kwaye ubeke onke amakhadi akho etafileni; ngokwenza oku kuphela ubudlelwane buya phambili.