Umxholo
- Yintoni ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo?
- Ukuxhatshazwa ngamazwi nangokweemvakalelo
- Umngcipheko wokuphathwa gadalala ngokwasengqondweni
- Ungakuxelela njani ukuba uyahlukunyezwa ngokwasengqondweni?
- Ungenza ntoni xa uxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni?
Igama "ukuphathwa gadalala" yenye into esiyivayo namhlanje, ke kubalulekile ukuba siqonde ukuba sithetha ukuthini xa sithetha ngokuxhatshazwa, ngakumbi ukuphathwa gadalala kwengqondo emtshatweni okanye kubudlelwane.
Masiqale sichaze yintoni ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo kubudlelwane:
- Ukuba uxelela umntu, awuyithandi into ayenzayo, ayikokuphathwa gadalala kwengqondo kunye neemvakalelo. Nokuba uphakamisa ilizwi lakho xa ulithetha, njengaxa uxelela umntwana ukuba angachukumisi isitovu esishushu, oko akuhambelani nolu didi lwempatho gadalala.
- Xa uxabana neqabane lakho, kwaye nobabini ninyusa amazwi ngenxa yomsindo, ayikokuhlukumeza oko ngokwasengqondweni. Yindalo leyo (nangona ingathandeki) yinxalenye yengxoxo, ngakumbi xa iimvakalelo zakho zingagcinwanga.
- Ukuba umntu uthetha into ekukhathazayo, akakuhlukumezi ngengqondo. Basenokungacingeli okanye babe krwada, kodwa oko akubandakanywanga kolu luhlu.
Imeko ezichazwe ngaphambili ayizizo iimpawu zokuba ubudlelane obuhlukumezayo ngokwengqondo.
Yintoni ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo?
Ukuphathwa gadalala kwengqondo kubudlelwane xa umntu ezilawula, ingqondo kunye neemvakalelo zakho, ngendlela eyityhefu.
Ayibandakanyi ubundlobongela ngokwasemzimbeni (obuya kuba kukuphathwa gadalala ngokomzimba) kodwa endaweni yobuqili, ekungafumaneki lula ngayo ngabangaphandle indlela yokuphatha gadalala.
Kungangathi kube yinto ecekeceke kangangokuba ukhe uzibuze ukuba uphilile-ingaba wayenza nyani ngabom, okanye ndiyayicinga?
"Ukukhanyisa igesi" yindlela yokuxhatshazwa kwengqondo kubudlelwane; xa umntu omnye esenza izinto ngobuqhetseba nangokuthula, engabonakali kumangqina, ukwenzakalisa iintlungu kunye nokwenzakalisa omnye umntu ngokweemvakalelo.
Kodwa ngendlela apho (umxhaphazi) angalikhomba kwixhoba athi “Nantso ke, uphinda-phinda” xa ixhoba libatyhola ngokubathobela ngabom.
Jonga kwakhona:
Ukuxhatshazwa ngamazwi nangokweemvakalelo
Umzekelo wokuphathwa gadalala lelinye iqabane lisebenzisa ukugxeka iqabane, kwaye xa iqabane lichasa, umxhaphazi uthi, "Owu, uhlala usenza izinto ngendlela engeyiyo!"
Ubeka ityala kwixhoba ukuze kubonakale ngathi "uluncedo" nje, kwaye ixhoba litolikwa ngendlela engeyiyo. Oku kungalishiya ixhoba lizibuza ukuba lilungile na: “Ngaba ndi-ethe-ethe?”
Iqabane elixhaphazayo liya kuthetha izinto ezithile kwixhoba lakhe, okanye likhuphe izoyikiso kuye ukuze ligcine ulawulo apha. Angamthuka okanye ambeke phantsi, lonke elixesha esithi ebeqhula. ”
Umzekelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasemphefumlweni kubudlelwane kungangumlingani ozama ukwahlula ixhoba kubahlobo nakwintsapho yakhe ukuze alilawule ngokupheleleyo.
Uya kumxelela ukuba usapho lwakhe lunetyhefu, ukuba kufuneka azikhwebule kubo ukuze akhule. Uya kugxeka abahlobo bakhe, ebabiza bengakhuli, abangenangqondo, okanye iimpembelelo ezimbi kuye okanye kubudlelwane babo.
Uya kulenza ixhoba lakhe likholelwe ekubeni lilo lodwa eliyaziyo into elungileyo kuye.
Ukuphathwa gadalala kwengqondo yenye indlela yokuxhatshazwa kwengqondo kubudlelwane.
Ngokuxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni, injongo yomxhaphazi; kukutshintsha imeko yexhoba ukuze ixhomekeke kumxhaphazi ukuba "abagcine bekhuselekile."
Amahlelo ahlala esenza olu hlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokuxelela abalandeli behlelo ukuba mabaphule onke amaqhina nosapho kunye nabahlobo abangenawo amahlelo.
Baqinisekisa abalandeli bezenkolo ukuba kufuneka bathobele inkokheli yehlelo kwaye benze oko afuna bakwenze ukuze bahlale bekhuselekile kwihlabathi "elibi" langaphandle.
Amadoda ahlasela abafazi bawo ngokwasemzimbeni abaphatha gadalala ngokwasengqondweni (ukongeza ekuphatheni gadalala ngokwasemzimbeni) xa exelela abafazi babo ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo ibangele ukuba umyeni abethe, kuba “bekufanelekile.”
Umngcipheko wokuphathwa gadalala ngokwasengqondweni
Abantu abasemngciphekweni wokuba ngamaxhoba olu didi lokuxhatshazwa kwengqondo kubudlelwane abantu abavela kwimvelaphi apho imeko yabo yokuzixabisa yayithotyiwe.
Ukukhula kwikhaya apho abazali babedla ngokugxeka, bathethane, okanye bahlazisane, kwaye abantwana banokumisela umntwana ukuba afune olu hlobo lokuziphatha njengomntu omkhulu, njengoko belinganisa le ndlela yokuziphatha nothando.
Abantu abangacingi ukuba bafanelwe luthando olulungileyo, olusempilweni basemngciphekweni wokuzibandakanya nomfazi ophethe gadalala ngokwasengqondweni okanye umyeni oxhaphaza ingqondo.
Uluvo lwabo lokuba luyintoni uthando aluchazwanga kakuhle, kwaye bayazamkela isimilo esihlukumezayo kuba bakholelwa ukuba abakufanelanga okungcono.
Ungakuxelela njani ukuba uyahlukunyezwa ngokwasengqondweni?
Nguwuphi umahluko phakathi kokuba neqabane elingakhathaliyo nokuba neqabane elihlukumeza ingqondo?
Ukuba eyakho Unyango lweqabane lakho kukushiya uzisola ngawe, ukucaphukisa ukuya kuthi ga kwiinyembezi, uneentloni zokuba ungubani, okanye uneentloni zokuba abanye babone indlela akuphatha ngayo, ke ezi ziyimpawu ezicacileyo zobudlelwane obuhlukumeza ngengqondo.
Ukuba iqabane lakho likuxelela-kuya kufuneka uyeke lonke unxibelelwano nosapho kunye nabahlobo bakho, kuba "abakuthandi ngokwenene," uyahlukunyezwa ngokwasengqondweni.
Ukuba iqabane lakho lisoloko likuxelela-usisidenge, umbi, utyebile, okanye naziphi na ezinye izithuko, uyakukhathaza ngengqondo.
Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha iqabane lakho lithi into oyenzileyo ibubudenge, okanye akayithandi loo lokhwe uyinxibileyo, okanye ukuba abazali bakho bayamhlanyisa, kukungakhathali oko.
Ungenza ntoni xa uxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni?
Zininzi izibonelelo ezikhoyo apho zokukunceda ukuba uthathe inyathelo elisempilweni.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bufanele ukusindiswa kwaye ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho lingangumntu ongakuhlukumeziyo ngengqondo, funa umcebisi onamava emtshatweni kunye nosapho ukuze babonisane.
Kubalulekile: kuba lo ngumba wabantu ababini, Kufuneka nityalomali nobabini kwezi seshoni zonyango.
Musa ukuhamba wedwa; ayisiyongxaki le yokuba usebenze wedwa. Kwaye ukuba iqabane lakho likuxelela lonto, lisithi “andinangxaki. Ngokucacileyo, wenza oko ukuze uye kunyango wedwa, ”lo ngumqondiso wokuba ubudlelwane bakho abufanele ukulungiswa.
Ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokulishiya iqabane lakho okanye umyeni (iqabane) lakho elikhathaza ngengqondo, funa uncedo kwikhaya labasetyhini elinokuthi likukhokele kwindlela yokuzikhupha kobu budlelwane ngokukhuselekileyo ngendlela eqinisekisa impilo yakho kunye nokukhuseleka kwakho.