Umxholo
- Kukuthini ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo
- Kutheni imicimbi yeemvakalelo kunzima ukuyiphelisa
- Iba njani imicimbi yeemvakalelo
- Iimpawu ezikwazisa ukuba izinto zihambe kakhulu
- Ukuqhagamshelana rhoqo
- Ngumntu wokuqala owabelana naye ngezinto
- Uhlala ucinga ngazo
- Ukwabelana okungafanelekanga
- Uqala ukufihla
- Ngaba umcimbi weemvakalelo unokukhokelela ekukopeni
- Ukuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo
- Okokuqala, nyaniseka
- Emva koko, buza into oyifumanayo kwimicimbi yeemvakalelo
- Okokugqibela, vavanya
- Iindlela ezili-15 zokuphelisa ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo.
- 1. Qaphela umcimbi
- 2. Sukubuyela umva
- 3. Ukuqhawula umcimbi
- 4. Nyaniseka
- 5. Lindela okubi kakhulu
- 6. Zinqumle
- 7. Yeka ukulandela
- 8. Yiqonde intlungu yeqabane lakho
- 9. Bandakanya umcebisi
- 10. Ukuzikhathalela
- 11. Bonisa ukubandakanyeka kulwalamano
- 12. Yenza imizamo engakumbi kwiqabane lakho
- 13. Yithemba inkqubo
- 14. Chonga iindawo zokuphucula umgangatho
- 15. Gcina kude kwizinto ezibangela
- Yise kude
Ngaba uzifumana usondelene nomnye umntu ongelilo iqabane lakho? Ubudlelwane ngaphandle komtshato wakho abubandakanyi ukusondelelana ngokwesondo kodwa ukusondelelana ngokunzulu ngokweemvakalelo?
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uthandana nomntu ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo akubangeli uxinzelelo kuphela kodwa kukwakhokelela ekubeni ube netyala kakhulu kuba sele uzibophelele. Kodwa ngaba ngokwenene luhlobo lokungathembeki?
Makhe sijonge izizathu zokwenza imicimbi yeemvakalelo kwaye sithethe ngendlela yokuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo.
Kukuthini ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo
Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo bubuhlobo obongezelelekileyo bokutshata obuye bavela baba yinto engaphezulu. Ngelixa ubudlelwane bezesondo bungeyonxalenye yokuthandana ngokweemvakalelo, kukho ukusondelelana, iqhina, ukuziva ubonwa kwaye uqondwa ngokwesiko eligcinelwe izibini ezitshatileyo.
Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo kukunika omnye umntu iimvakalelo ekufuneka zigcinelwe iqabane lakho. Usenokuzibuza ukuba ungayimisa njani into oyenzayo ngokweemvakalelo.
Kutheni imicimbi yeemvakalelo kunzima ukuyiphelisa
Imicimbi yeemvakalelo kunzima ukuyiphelisa kuba inokwenza uzive uxabisekile, ngakumbi ukuba awuyiva loo nto emtshatweni wakho. Kodwa unqwenela ukuphelisa ukuthandana, kwaye siya kukubonisa ukuba kwenzeka njani.
Ngapha koko, imicimbi yeemvakalelo kunokuba nzima ukuyiphelisa xa kuthelekiswa nemicimbi yesondo.
Ukuthandana ngokulula ngesondo kunokuba lula ukunqunyulwa ngokucocekileyo. Ukuba ulwalamano olongezelelekileyo lomtshato lusekwe kuphela kwisini, iqhina alikho njengemvakalelo.
Kodwa kwimeko yovakalelo, uhlakulele iimvakalelo ezinzulu, ezibalulekileyo, kwaye wonwabele ubudlelwane obusenyongweni kunye nomntu onothando naye. Oku kunokuba nzima ukukuyeka, ngakumbi ukuba awukufumani oku kusondela kwiqabane lakho. Kungenxa yoko le nto kunzima ukuphelisa ukuthandana.
UShirley Glass uxelwe kwi Asingabo “Abahlobo Nje” I-44% yamadoda kunye ne-57% yabafazi ibonakalisile ukuba kwimicimbi yabo, babenolwalamano oluluqilima ngokweemvakalelo nomnye umntu ngaphandle kwezokwabelana ngesondo.
Iba njani imicimbi yeemvakalelo
Ngokwesiqhelo umba weemvakalelo uqala msulwa. Kuqhelekile kuthi sonke, nkqu nezona zibini zisondeleyo, ukuba nabahlobo ngaphandle komtshato. Ngapha koko, isempilweni. Ukwenza iqabane lakho libe lelakho kunye nomhlobo kuphela kunokubeka uxinzelelo olukhulu kolo lwalamano.
Ke, yintoni ebangela ukuba izinto ziphele?
Ke, ukuba nabahlobo bangaphandle, abantu onwabele ukwenza nabo izinto mhlawumbi elingazonwabisiyo iqabane lakho, ihlala iyinto elungileyo.
Logama nje imida ikho.
Kodwa uza kuthini ukuba ngaphandle, ubuhlobo obunobuzaza buqala ukuthatha indima enzulu ebomini bakho? Ungathini xa ufumanisa ukuba ujonge phambili ekuchitheni ixesha, nokuba kukwinyani okanye kwi-Intanethi, nalo mntu? Le yindlela ephuhla ngayo imicimbi yeemvakalelo.
Ujikela kulo mntu ngakumbi nangakumbi ngohlobo lothando nenkxaso ekufanele ukuba uyifumana kwiqabane lakho. Uqala ukwabelana ngezinto ezisondeleyo ezihlala zigcinelwe isibini sakho. Unika amandla komnye umntu ongelilo iqabane lakho, eligxibha "amandla akho omtshato".
Oku kuhlutha iqabane lakho kwinto ekufanele ukuba bayayifumana kuwe.
Ngexesha elithile, uyaqonda ukuba amandla owanika imicimbi yakho yeemvakalelo ayingozi kwiqabane lakho. Uyazibuza ukuba ungawuphelisa njani umcimbi weemvakalelo.
Jonga le vidiyo ukuze uqonde amanqanaba okukhohlisa ngokweemvakalelo:
Iimpawu ezikwazisa ukuba izinto zihambe kakhulu
Akululanga ukubona imiqondiso yokuba umcimbi weemvakalelo ugqithise kakhulu.
Kuqala, awungekhe ufune ukuyamkela indawo ahlala kuyo lo mcimbi weemvakalelo ebomini bakho. Uzixelela ukuba okoko nje izinto zingakhange ziye kummandla wesini, konke kulungile. Akufani nokungathembeki.
Ubudlelwane beplato buvumelekile ngaphandle komtshato, akunjalo? Awulele nomnye umntu, ke akukho monakalo wenzekileyo, akunjalo?
Ezi zizinto ozixelela zona kuba uyazi emphefumlweni wakho ukuba nokuba awukhohlisanga iqabane lakho ngokwasemzimbeni, le meko yeemvakalelo ayilunganga kwiqabane lakho. Uyazi ezantsi ukuba kufuneka uqonde ukuba ungawuphelisa njani umcimbi weemvakalelo.
Into eyenzakalisayo ngobuhlobo obusondeleyo beemvakalelo nomntu ongelilo iqabane lakho kukuba iyakunqanda kwiqabane lakho. Kwaye oku kuthetha ukuba lixesha lokuphelisa imeko yovakalelo.
Nazi ezinye zeempawu zokuba imeko yovakalelo ihambe kakhulu:
Uhlala unxibelelana nomhlobo wakho weemvakalelo ngalo lonke ixesha, mhlawumbi nangaphezulu kweqabane lakho. Iimemes ezihlekisayo ezithunyelwe ngeWhatsApp, iSMS ebuza ukuba batya ntoni ngexesha lesidlo sasemini, bathande izithuba zabo kuFacebook naku-Instagram nje ukuba baye kuphila.
Nobabini ninxibelelana rhoqo imini yonke nasebusuku.
Ngaba uneendaba ezimnandi? Ubhalela umntu onomdla ngokweemvakalelo phambi kwakhe nabani na. Usuku olubi? Ukhupha kubo hayi kwiqabane lakho. Unxibelelwano lwakho neqabane lakho luba kwindawo yesibini.
Ungazinika isizathu sokuba iqabane lakho lingafumaneki kwincoko okanye umntu obandakanyeka naye kwezolwalamano uhlala uhlala ukhona, kodwa ezi inokuba sesinye sezibonakaliso zokuthandana ngokweemvakalelo.
Ukucinga ngabo kukwenza uzive wonwabile. Ikugcina uqhubeka, kwaye uziva ngathi akukho nto iphosakeleyo kuba awukabandakanyeki ekuhleni.
Unxiba kusasa nabo ucinga. Unokuba neengcamango zesondo malunga nabo. Ukuba bayajola nabanye abantu, uziva unomona.
Ukwabelana ngeemfihlo nabahlobo bakho yinto eyenziwa ngumntu wonke.
Nangona kunjalo, iimfihlo zobudlelwane ayisiyonto eyenye into ngaphandle kwakho kunye neqabane lakho ekufuneka uyazi. Nangona kunjalo, uxoxa ngezifundo ezithandanayo nomntu onomdla ngokweemvakalelo, ezinje ngemicimbi onokuba nayo neqabane lakho.
Ngenxa yokuba unoluvo lokuba ukusondela kwakho nalo mntu akulunganga, ufihla izinto kwiqabane lakho.
Unokucima imiyalezo okanye ii-imeyile. Oku kuyimfihlo iflegi ebomvu kuba uyazi ukuba iqabane lakho ngekhe lilunge ngenqanaba lotshintshiselwano onalo nalo mntu.
Ngaba umcimbi weemvakalelo unokukhokelela ekukopeni
Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ingaba imeko yovakalelo inokukhokelela ekukrexeni, impendulo ngu-ewe.
Obu yingozi yokwenyani yokuthandana nomntu kwaye kutheni kufuneka uyazi indlela yokuwuphelisa umcimbi wothando.
Imicimbi yeemvakalelo inokwenzeka ukuba yenzeke kuba awudibani kakuhle neqabane lakho. Kukho umgca omncinci phakathi kokwabelana ngokusondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo nomnye umntu ongelilo iqabane lakho kunye nokuwela kubudlelwane bezesondo, ngakumbi ukuba awuziva waneliseka ngokwesondo kunye neqabane lakho.
Imicimbi yeemvakalelo inokukhokelela ekukrexeni kuba kukuhenda ukuwela imida xa uvula imvakalelo kwaye ukhulisa iimvakalelo ngalo mntu. Yongeza umtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nentabatheko kumxube, kwaye ukutyibilika ebhedini akukude emva.
Ukuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo
Ukuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo kunokuba nzima kuba unokuziva ungazibandakanyi kuwo. Nangona kunjalo, ukwamkelwa sisitshixo sokuqala kwaye xa usenzile, uyakufumana indlela yokuphelisa ubudlelwane obunemvakalelo. Zijonge:
Yeyakho inyani yokuba unento yokwenza neemvakalelo ezichaphazela umtshato wakho. Yamkela ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ungawuphelisa njani umcimbi weemvakalelo.
Ngaba yinto nje yokuba umntu omtsha ukuhoye? Ngaba ikhona into engekhoyo kubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho? Ngaba uziva ukuba lo mntu ukuqonda ngokwenene uyiqonda ngaphezu iqabane lakho?
Ngaba ufuna ukuba kunye neqabane elithandanayo ngokweemvakalelo, okanye ngaba ufuna ukuphinda uzinikele emtshatweni wakho? Zibuze ukuba kutheni olu lwalamano luthetha lukhulu kuwe, kwaye yintoni enokuba ilahlekile ebomini bakho xa kufuneka uyiyeke? Ngaba ungayifumana loo nto ilahlekileyo emtshatweni wakho?
Ukuba ufuna ukuphinda uzibonakalise emtshatweni wakho, ukuphelisa ukuthandana nomntu oneemvakalelo kubalulekile. Ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba buhlungu emtshatweni njengokwenyama.
Iindlela ezili-15 zokuphelisa ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo.
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokuphelisa ukuthandana
1. Qaphela umcimbi
Yazi ukuba ububandakanyekile kwaye kuya kuba nzima ukuphelisa ukuthandana, nangona kufanelekile emtshatweni wakho. Uya kuthi ndlelantle kumntu onobuhlobo obunzulu kunye naye.
2. Sukubuyela umva
Uya kuba sezingqondweni ezimbini malunga nokuthandana. Ngenxa yokuncamathisela, unokuzama ukusebenzisa yonke ingcinga ukuze ungaqali inkqubo yokwahlukana. Yeka ukuzama ukuziqinisekisa ukuba obu buhlobo ngaphandle komtshato abunabungozi.
3. Ukuqhawula umcimbi
Yazi ukuba akunakulindeleka, kwaye inyani ayicetyiswa, ukuba uya kuba nakho ukuqhubeka unxibelelana nalo mntu. Ukuyeka lonke unxibelelwano yinxalenye yendlela yokuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo. Oku kufanele kube sesinye sezibonakaliso ezicacileyo kuwe nakumntu obandakanyekayo ekufuneka eyekile.
4. Nyaniseka
Thembeka kulomntu uthandana naye ngokweemvakalelo.
Baxelele ukuba uyazixabisa kakhulu ukuba bangobani kunye nobuhlobo bakho nabo, kodwa uyaqonda ukuba ixesha olichithe nabo liyingozi emtshatweni wakho. Baxelele ukuba inqanaba lonxibelelwano lwakho luziva lungalunganga. Oku kubalulekile kwindlela yokuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo.
5. Lindela okubi kakhulu
Zilungiselele ukubuyela umva komnye umntu. Basenokungonwabi ngesigqibo sakho ongasithandi. Basenokunyanzelisa ukuba akukho nto ingafanelekanga yenzekileyo. Baxelele inokuba iyinyani yabo, kodwa ayiyiyo eyakho.
6. Zinqumle
Vimba omnye umntu ekubeni akwazi ukubona kubomi bakho obuku-intanethi. Musa ukuba ngumhlobo wabo ku-Facebook, musa ukulandela i-Instagram feed, vimba inombolo yefowuni kunye nedilesi ye-imeyile. Yazisa iqabane lakho ukuba wenze ezi zenzo. Le yindlela yokuwuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo.
7. Yeka ukulandela
Sukujonga kwi-intanethi ujonge iimpawu zento ayenzayo ngoku loo mntu. Hlala ugxile ekulungiseni umonakalo owenziwe ngokweqabane lakho nangomtshato.
Sukuzifuna kwi-intanethi xa uqala ukuziphosa. Ziphazamise ngenye into. Nyathela kude kwi-intanethi, funda incwadi, uthethe neqabane lakho, uhambe nabo. Ukujonga iindaba malunga nomntu onomdla ngokweemvakalelo kunokukubeka emngciphekweni wokubuyela kobo buhlobo.
8. Yiqonde intlungu yeqabane lakho
Ukuphelisa umcimbi weemvakalelo kufuna ukuthembeka kunye nembeko komnye umntu, kwiqabane lakho, nakuwe ngokwakho. Iphela njani imicimbi yeemvakalelo? Xa uvuka kwaye ungumnikazi wentlungu oku kubangela iqabane lakho kunye nomtshato wakho.
9. Bandakanya umcebisi
Yiza nomcebisi. Unokuba unqwenela ukufumana izibini zokucebisana njengenxalenye yokuphelisa ukuthandana ngokweemvakalelo.
Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, umcimbi weemvakalelo awuzange wenzeke kwisithuba. Kukho into engalinganiyo emtshatweni wakho. Njengokuba uphelisa umba weemvakalelo, kuya kuba luncedo kuni nobabini neqabane lakho ukuba nichithe ixesha elithile nomcebisi ukuze nithethe malunga nokuba kwenzeke njani kwaye nisuka phi apha.
10. Ukuzikhathalela
Oku kuthetha ukusebenza kuwe. Zama unyango ngokwakho kwaye wenze utshintsho kwindlela ophila ngayo.
Unokutyhila ezinye zezizathu ezinzulu zokuba kutheni usengozini yokuba nomntu othandana naye. Ukusebenza oku ngonyango kunokunceda ukukuphilisa kwaye kuthintele oku ekuphindeni kwenzeke kwakhona.
Ukufunda okunxulumene noko: Iintsika ezi-5 zokuZinakekela
11. Bonisa ukubandakanyeka kulwalamano
Bonisa iqabane lakho ukuba uzimisele kwaye utyale imali ukutshintsha. Uphelise umcimbi weemvakalelo kuba ufuna ngokwenene ukutshintsha kwaye wenze umtshato ube ngowonelisayo.
12. Yenza imizamo engakumbi kwiqabane lakho
Yenza ixesha elilodwa kunye neqabane lakho. Njengoko uphulukana nokuphela komtshato ngokweemvakalelo, kuya kufuneka uphinde ubandakanyeke ekwenzeni ixesha lakho kunye neqabane lakho libe kwindawo ephambili.
Yamkela ukuba ukulungisa ubudlelwane kuya kuthatha iinzame kunye nokungena rhoqo kunye neqabane lakho, kunye nokuphucula unxibelelwano kunye nokondla. Iqabane lakho lifanele lazi ukuba uphumile kulwalamano lwakho ngokweemvakalelo.
Yala loo matheko ebhloko yangoku, kwaye uchithe ixesha elithile uthandana neqabane lakho kwakhona.
13. Yithemba inkqubo
Landela ukuphela komtshato ngokweemvakalelo ngobuhlobo obutsha kunye nobunzulu kunye neqabane lakho.
Qiniseka ukuba umtshato wakho uya kuphila kwimeko yovakalelo. Ukunyaniseka okugqibeleleyo, ukuzibophelela okwenyani kutyalo-mali emtshatweni, kunye nokuvuselela uxhulumano lweemvakalelo kunye nolwasemzimbeni neqabane lakho kuya kuba yinxalenye yokusinda kumcimbi weemvakalelo kunye.
Iqabane lakho lifuna ukubona imiqondiso yokuba umcimbi uyaphela okanye uphelile.
14. Chonga iindawo zokuphucula umgangatho
Sebenza ekuphumezeni iimfuno zeemvakalelo obuzifuna nomntu onomdla ngokweemvakalelo.
Chonga iinkalo emtshatweni wakho onqwenela ukuzibona ziphuculwa. Buza iqabane lakho ukuba bangathanda ukubona ntoni emtshatweni kwaye uqalise ukusebenza kubo. Oku kuyakugcina iqabane lakho lonwabe ,, kwaye uphazamisekile.
15. Gcina kude kwizinto ezibangela
Qiniseka ukuba indawo okuyo ayinasilingo. Kuphephe ukuxhoma kunye nabantu abahlobo kunye nomntu wakho wangaphambili onemvakalelo. Hlala kude naziphi na izihlandlo ezinokukwenza ubuyele umva.
Chaza into ekufuneka uyenzile xa isilingo sokuqala omnye umcimbi weemvakalelo uvela. Ukuba oku kukutsala rhoqo kuwe, kuya kufuneka ubonakalise ngokunzulu malunga nokuba uyafuna ukuhlala ungatshatanga.
Yise kude
Yintoni elandelayo? Ukuphela kokuthandana ngokweemvakalelo
Ukuphuma kwintsebenzo yeemvakalelo akukho lula, kwaye oko kuthetha ukuphela kwenkqubo yenkxaso obuyonwabele. Kodwa ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obunemvakalelo kuya kufuneka ukuba unqwenela ukuba umtshato wakho uphile.
Khulisa ukuhlonelwa kunye nobuhlobo neqabane lakho. Ngaba ulibele ukuba ubuqale ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho njengabahlobo? Sukuyityeshela loo nxalenye uyiyo ngoku.
Ngokulandela la manyathelo akhankanyiweyo, uya kuba nakho ukuwugqiba ugqibe umcimbi weemvakalelo kwaye ubuyele emtshatweni wakho. Kodwa ngoku, owona msebenzi uyaqala: ukuhlalutya izizathu zomcimbi kunye nokusebenzisa umsebenzi ofunekayo ukuze umtshato wakho wonwabe kwaye waneliseke.