Umxholo
- Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuba abantu bahlukane
- Iziphumo zokwahlukana
- Iziphumo zomzimba
- Iziphumo zengqondo
- Iziphumo ngokweemvakalelo
- Iingcebiso ezingama-20 zendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni
- 1. Yiya phambili
- "Bendicinga ukuba ndinayo yonke," utshilo uJudy Desky. UJudy, 28, yingcali kwezentengiso kunye nenkampani eyaziwayo yesiriyeli.
- 2. Ziqwalasele kwakhona izinto ezibalulekileyo
- 3. Cinga ngaphaya kwakho
- Misa lonke unxibelelwano
- 5. Nxibelelana kwakhona nabahlobo
- 6. Kuphephe ukwenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo
- 7. Lala kakuhle
- 8. Kuphephe ukugcina ubuhlobo kunye nabo
- Thatha izinto kancinci
- 10. Musa ukukuphepha ukuba sentlungwini
- 11. Zigcine uxakekile yonke imihla
- 12. Khetha i-detox yedijithali
- 13. Yiba phakathi kwabantu
- 14. Mamela ngaphakathi kuwe
- 15. Fikelela kwinkxaso
- Musa ukubalandela
- 17. Cinga ngokwakho
- 18. Qalisa ukubhala ingxelo
- Hlala unethemba
- 20. Fumana uncedo
- Yise kude
Uninzi lwethu belulapho: emva kwento ebikhe yanobudlelwane obuzukileyo, wena okanye enye into ebalulekileyo oyibize ngokuba iyekile.
Xa uqala umlo wakho ngokusinda ekwahlukaneni, ekuqaleni, kukho umothuko, emva koko iimvakalelo zokudakumba, mhlawumbi umsindo, kwaye ke ubunyani bayo buhleli.
Uphinde watshata. Usenokungazi ukuba wenzeni, uyephi, ukuba kufuneka uqhubeke njani nenqanaba lakho elitsha.
Ukujonga ngokubanzi inkqubo, jonga apha kwaye wazi ukuba yintoni ebaluleke kakhulu ngeli xesha kukuba ubuyele "esiqhelweni" kwaye ukwenze oko ngokungabi nazintlungu kangangoko.
Izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokuba abantu bahlukane
Ukusinda kwintliziyo eyaphukileyo kunzima.
Ke, kutheni ukwahlukana kusenzeka?
Ewe, zinokubakho izizathu ezininzi zokuba kwenzeka ukwahlukana. Makhe sijonge izizathu eziqhelekileyo zokwahlukana:
- Iqabane elinetyhefu
- Ukungathembeki
- Ukuziphatha kakubi
- Iqabane elingasekeliyo
- Ukuxoka
- Ukuxhatshazwa engqondweni / emzimbeni
- Andiliboni elizayo
- Ukuphulukana nokuzithemba
- Amaqabane angabonakaliyo
- Unxibelelwano olungelulo
- Ukucinga kakhulu
- Ukuphulukana nomdla
- Ayenzi mida
- Imiba yezemali
- Umahluko ngokwenkolo / ngokwasekhaya
- Ukungabonakalisi mbulelo
Iziphumo zokwahlukana
Ukwahlukana kunempembelelo enkulu kubomi bomntu. Inokuba nefuthe lomzimba kunye nelemvakalelo. Akunakubakho nantoni na eneswekile yokuba kunokuba nzima ukuqonda indlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni okanye ukuba wenze ntoni emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde iziphumo zoqhawulo-mtshato ngaphambi kokwazi ukuba ungasinda njani ekwahlukaneni ukuze ubeke imizamo kwicala elifanelekileyo:
Ezinye zeempembelelo zomzimba zokwahlukana zezi:
Ezinye zeziphumo zengqondo zokwahlukana zezi:
Ezinye zeempembelelo zeemvakalelo zokwahlukana zezi:
- Isizungu emva kokwahlukana
- Ukubuza ukuzixabisa
- Iimpawu zokurhoxa
- Ubumdaka
Ukufunda okuhambelana:Ufumana njani ukudakumba koqhawulo-mtshato: Iimpawu kunye nonyango
Iingcebiso ezingama-20 zendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni
Akukho ndlela "elungileyo" yendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni.
Ke, kufuneka wenze ntoni emva koqhawulo-mtshato?
Ukoyisa intlungu yokuqhekeka, siqokelele iingcebiso zokwahlukana zokujongana nokwahlukana kwabantu abangazange bafunde kuphela indlela yokuphila emva koqhawulo-mtshato, bakhulile kwaye bachuma emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Jonga ezi zinto ukuba uzenze emva kokwahlukana.
1. Yiya phambili
"Bendicinga ukuba ndinayo yonke," utshilo uJudy Desky. UJudy, 28, yingcali kwezentengiso kunye nenkampani eyaziwayo yesiriyeli.
“Mna noSimon besithandana okokoko sasisandula ukufika eCU. Yinto phantse elishumi. Ndifudukele ePhoenix emva kokuthweswa isidanga kuba kulapho umsebenzi wakhe wawukhona. Ndandifuna ukuhlala eColorado; kulapho iingcambu zam zikhona. ”
UJudy uqhubeke, encwina, “Andifuni kungena kwiinkcukacha ezimnandi, kodwa kwanele ukuba sithi asisekho kunye.
Emva kokwahlukana, ndazibuza ukuba yintoni ebalulekileyo kum, kwaye impendulo yeza kum ngokukhawuleza-usapho lwam.
Akusayi kuphinda kwahlulwe iiholide minyaka le, kwaye akusekho kubuya kude. Ndaya eDenver kungaphelanga nenyanga yokwahlukana. Kwaye itsheri ngentla? Umsebenzi wam omtsha ubhetele kakhulu kunalowo ndiwushiye ngasemva. ”
Eyona ndlela yokubamba ukwahlukana kukwamkela ukwahlukana, jonga iindlela ezintsha ebomini apho unokuchuma kwaye wonwabe.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Indlela Yokumelana Nokwahlukana
2. Ziqwalasele kwakhona izinto ezibalulekileyo
Njengoko uJudy wafumanisayo, ukwahlukana kwakhe kwamenza wacinga ngezinto eziza kuqala kuye. Oku kunokuba yinto elungileyo yokuhamba kuye wonke umntu amaxesha ngamaxesha, nokuba baphelile ubudlelwane.
Ukusinda ekwahlukaneni kakubi kunokukunceda ujolise kwiindawo zobomi bakho Isenokuba ayibonwanga okanye ayikhange inikwe ingqwalaselo ebinokuthi ifanele.
Injalo into eyenzekileyo xa uCory Althorp, oneminyaka engama-34, wayedlula ekwahlukaneni kwakhe.
“Ndiyazi ukuba obu buhlobo buza kuza ixesha elide, kodwa xa besenzile, buye bothuka ngendlela engaqhelekanga. Ekuqaleni, ndandizigalela emsebenzini wam. Ndiligqwetha, kwaye nkwenkwe, ngaba iiyure zam ezihlawulwayo zanyuka!
Ngenye ingokuhlwa xa ndandibuya emsebenzini, ndabona bonke abantu behamba ngeebhayisikile. Ingcinga yafika engqondweni yam yokuba ndandikuthanda kakhulu ukuhamba ngebhayisikile, kodwa ndandingazange ndikhwele ibhayisekile ukusukela ngeentsuku zam zesikolo – kwaye ndithetha ngesikolo samabanga aphantsi!
Ngosuku olulandelayo ndaphuma ndathenga ibhayisekile, kwaye kwimpelaveki elandelayo, ndayikhupha – okokuqala ndandikwibhayisekile kwiminyaka. Ndingene kuyo ndaza ndajoyina iklabhu yebhayisikile yasekuhlaleni. Yabona, lo mfazi ndithandana naye ngoku ndadibana naye eklabhini. ”
Enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokujongana nokwahlukana kukufunda ukomelela ngexesha lokwahlukana. Nokuba uphando lubonisa ukuba ukuzilolonga kunokwenza abantu bonwabe.
Ke qala ngokuzakha ngokwasemzimbeni njengesisombululo sendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni. Oku kuya kukunceda uzive ungcono ngokweemvakalelo.
Jonga kwakhona:
3. Cinga ngaphaya kwakho
U-Hilda wafumanisa ukuba le ndoda wayecinga ukuba iqabane lakhe limphoxe iminyaka emibini.
“Ndim lo,” waqala watsho umhlalutyi wezezimali, “bendicinga ukuba mna noGilberto sizokuchitha bonke ubomi bethu sobabini kunye kwaye sithathe umhlala-phantsi kwilali encinci yase-Italiya kwaye silungise indlu ebomileyo, sitye ipasta kwaye sigcine igadi yethu yemifuno.
Ewe, wayesalusa igadi yomnye umntu! Ndichithe iveki ndizisonge esofeni yam ndilila ndiphila ngoBen noJerry. ”
Uqhubeke wathi, “Emva kwale veki, ndibuyele emsebenzini ndahamba ndaya emotweni yam emva kosuku lokuqala ndibuyile, ndondlula ikhitshi lesuphu. Andazi ukuba kutheni, kodwa ndangena ndabuza ukuba ngaba bafuna naluphi na uncedo.
Ndichithe iiyure ezintathu ngobo busuku ndiphaka isidlo sangokuhlwa kwaye ndincedisa ekucoceni emva koko. Kwakundivuyisa ukugxila kwenye into ngaphandle kwam.
Khange ndiphinde ndizisizele kuba abantu endibancedayo bebeneengxaki ezinkulu kunezam. ”
Amavolontiya, njengoko u-Hilda efumanise, yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokunceda ekuqhawuleni ukwahlukana.
Amathala eencwadi aneenkqubo zokufunda nokubhala zabantu abadala ezihlala zikhangela amavolontiya ukunceda ekufundiseni abantu abadala ukufunda. Izikolo zihlala zihlala zisebenzisa amavolontiya.
Sebenzisa le ngcebiso ngendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni kunye nokunxibelelana nabanye.
Misa lonke unxibelelwano
"Wowu, ndifunde isifundo emva kokuba ndohlukene," watsho uRussell, 30, umphathi werestyu.
“Bendizithuthumbisa ngokujonga kumaphepha ka-Instagram wam, u-Facebook no-Twitter. Bendisazi ukuba ayiyiyo eyona nto ibalulekileyo kwimpilo yam yengqondo, kodwa bendingafuni ukumyeka — nangokwamanani. ”
URussell uqhubeke wathi, “Ndazi ngokwasengqondweni ukuba bubudenge obu kwaye akuncedisi kwinkqubo yokuphilisa endandisazi ukuba kufuneka ndingene kuyo. Ndafunga ukuba ndiza kuyeka ukujonga nantoni na ex-andinokwazi nokutsho igama lakhe – ndinento yokwenza.
Kwaye uyazi ntoni? Ndonwabe nyhani. Andikaphumi nomnye umntu okwangoku, kodwa ubuncinci ndiyaqala ukucinga ngayo. Ukungamlandeli kumajelo onxibelelwano kundenze ndonwaba kakhulu. ”
Njengoko uRussel wafumanisayo, ukuphuma kwisihlwele yinto esempilweni emva kokwahlukana, kwaye uphando luyayixhasa loo nto. Cima izikhumbuzo zobudlelwane, kwaye uya konwaba.
Ukufunda okuDibeneyo: Indlela yokufumana umntu omthandayo
5. Nxibelelana kwakhona nabahlobo
Uhlalutyo lophando olukhoyo lubonakalisile ukuba ukwahlulwa okanye ukungabikho koluntu kunokuba nemiphumela emibi kwezonyango, awayejamelene nayo uBetsy.
UBetsy, 27, wahlukana no-Allan, 32, ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo.
“Ndiyazi nje ukuba lixesha. UAllan wayenendlela yokundihlukanisa nabahlobo bam kunye nexesha lam elidlulileyo. Emva kokuba sahlukene, ndafikelela kubahlobo bam bakudala ndaphinda ndadibanisa.
Kwakumnandi ukubamba kwaye unabantu abandaziyo, bandimamele kwaye bethomalalisa intlungu yam. Bandenza ndaziva ndiphilile kwakhona.
Kwaye ndiyifundile loo nto ubuhlobo yinto enamandla, Kwaye ukubeka abahlobo bakudala kwisitya esingasemva xa usebudlelwaneni akuyi kuphinda kwenzeke nam.
Njengoko le ngoma indala yeScout Scout isithi, 'Zenzele abahlobo abatsha kodwa gcina endala, ezinye ziyisilivere enye igolide.' Kwakunjalo kwimeko yam. Musa ukoyika ukufikelela ngaphandle. Abahlobo bakudala baxabiseke kakhulu. ”
6. Kuphephe ukwenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo
Ubomi emva kokophula utshintsho kakhulu. Eli lixesha apho kuya kufuneka uphephe ukwenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ingqondo yakho isacinga indlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni, umsindo emva kokuqhekeka ngokudibanisa iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo.
Ke, phefumla ithutyana kwaye ubeke kude zonke izigqibo ezibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzenzile okwangoku.
7. Lala kakuhle
Ngokwesiqhelo, emva kokwahlukana, umntu uphulukana nomkhondo wexesha, ukutya, ukulala, kunye nemisebenzi yesiqhelo yemihla ngemihla. Ukungabikho kokulala kunokubangela imiba yokucinga kunye nezinye iingxaki zomzimba. Kubalulekile ukuba nenani elimnandi lokulala ukugcina ingqondo kunye nokusebenza komzimba.
8. Kuphephe ukugcina ubuhlobo kunye nabo
Ukuqhubekeka nokwahlukana kuthatha ixesha. Ke, qiniseka ukuba ugcina umgama ukusuka kwi ex yakho kangangexesha elithile. Ukunxibelelana nabo akuyi kukuvumela ukuba uqhubeke kwaye, endaweni yoko, kukunike ithuba lokulilela oko sele kulahlekile.
Thatha izinto kancinci
Awudingi ukungxama kwinkqubo yokulila njengesisombululo sendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni. Ukuphilisa kuthatha ixesha laso elimnandi. Ke, zinike ixesha lokuchacha kwiintlungu endaweni yokuzinyanzela ukuba womelele xa ingqondo nomzimba wakho zifuna ixesha.
10. Musa ukukuphepha ukuba sentlungwini
Ukuba buhlungu yinxalenye yenkqubo yokuphilisa. Ke, ungazami ukucinezela ezo mvakalelo ngeenzame zokuziva unamandla. Vumela konke kuphume kunokuba uhlale ebhotileni.
11. Zigcine uxakekile yonke imihla
Esinye sezona zisombululo zibalaseleyo zendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni kukuhlala ubandakanyekile njengoko kufanelekile- Ingqondo engasebenziyo yindawo yokusebenzela kaSathana.
Nguwe kuphela onokuzinceda ufumane inkuthazo emva kokuqhekeka.
Ke, sukuhlala ngabom ungenzi nto njengoko izakukunika isizathu sokuhlala uxinezelekile kwaye uyicingisise imeko.
12. Khetha i-detox yedijithali
Imithombo yeendaba kwezentlalo inokukhokelela ekuthelekiseni ubomi bakho nobo babahlobo bakho. Kwakhona, awungekhe uphephe izithuba kunye nemifanekiso enokukunyanzela ukuba unxibelelane nobomi bakho bangaphambili bothando.
13. Yiba phakathi kwabantu
Le meko inokuba nomnqweno wokuhlala wedwa ixesha elide. Uya kufuna ukunqunyulwa kuwo wonke umntu. Nangona kunjalo, elinye lawona macwecwe alungileyo ngendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni kukuba phakathi kweentsapho nabahlobo.
14. Mamela ngaphakathi kuwe
Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, ilizwi lakho elingaphakathi liya kuhlala likhokela kwindlela elungileyo. Sukuba nemvakalelo kwaye wenze iimpazamo kwakhona. Yithemba imvakalelo yakho yangaphakathi, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo iya kukukhokelela kwizinto ezingcono ebomini.
15. Fikelela kwinkxaso
Xa uziva ulilolo okanye uxinezelekile, fikelela kubahlobo bakho kunye nosapho ukuba ufuna ukuba kunye nabo. Ungathandabuzi ekufuneni inkxaso yabo ukuba isidingo seyure kuwe yinkampani yabathandekayo bakho.
Musa ukubalandela
Ukuba ufuna iimpendulo zendlela yokusinda ekwahlukaneni, ukubalandela ukuze ufumanise ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni ebomini babo umbono olubi kakhulu. Iya kukunceda into xa ungabakhathaleli kwimithombo yeendaba okanye ubuze abahlobo bakho malunga nento eqhubekayo kubomi be ex yakho.
17. Cinga ngokwakho
Ukuzifumana emva kokwahlukana linyathelo elinye elibalulekileyo.
Thatha ixesha lokuqonda ukuba kutheni ubudlelwane busilele. Chitha ixesha lakho kunye nawe ukuhlalutya ngokwakha okungahambanga kakuhle kwaye ukuba unoxanduva nangayiphi na indlela. Zama ukwamkela iimpazamo zakho, ukuba bezikhona, ufumanise ukuba ungaziphindi njani kwixa elizayo.
18. Qalisa ukubhala ingxelo
Bhala phantsi iimvakalelo zakho kwijenali. Ukupapasha iindaba kuthathwa njengenye yezona ndlela zisebenzayo zokuphila ngokwahlukana njengoko kunceda ukuba ukhuphe iimvakalelo zakho zokwenyani ngaphandle komgwebo. Qala ukubhala idayari okanye ugcine incwadi yakho yombulelo ukuze uhlale unethemba.
Hlala unethemba
Ungalahli ithemba ngekamva kuba ulwalamano lwakho aluhambanga kakuhle. Ubomi buphambi kobudlelwane. Fumana injongo yakho kwaye ukholelwe ukuba uyakuphela nomntu oya kukuqonda ukubaluleka kwakho.
20. Fumana uncedo
Ukuba unengxaki yokuphuma kwixesha elidlulileyo, enye yeendlela ezicetyiswayo zokuba ungasinda njani ekwahlukaneni kukufikelela kumcebisi okanye kunyangi, kwaye baya kukunceda ukuba ubuye kwimeko ekulingayo.
Yise kude
Nokuba ukweliphi inqanaba lobomi okulo, ukujongana nokwahlukana kuthatha ixesha lalo elimnandi. Awunakho ukukhawulezisa inkqubo kwaye ngekhe uyicothise.
Ukwahlukana kunokuba ngamava okuphazamisa nabani na. Kodwa ngentloko nentliziyo kwindawo kunye neengcebiso ezilungileyo zokwahlukana kunye neengcebiso zokwahlukana, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuba nakho ukubona ukukhanya kwemini.