Umxholo
- Buyintoni ubudlelwane benzondo yothando?
- Uthando lwentiyo ubudlelwane ngokwenkcazo
- Ngaba ulwalamano lwenzondo lothando?
- Psychology yobudlelwane nothando
- Umcimbi wokwenyani nobudlelwane bothando
Ukuba semathandweni yimvakalelo entle ngolu hlobo, ngamanye amaxesha ide ichaze nokuba ungamthanda kangakanani umntu. Kuxa ukulo mntu apho ungaziva ugqibelele kwaye ungathatha nantoni na okoko unazo kodwa ungathini ukuba ngamanye amaxesha uziva ngathi ufuna ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane kwaye uqhubele phambili ngobomi bakho?
Hayi, ayifani nengxabano yesithandwa sakho; ayinguye nomqondiso wokuba une-bipolar. Kukho ixesha lezi mvakalelo zixubeneyo zothando kunye nentiyo ngakumlingane wakho kwaye oko kubizwa ngokuba luthando ulwalamano lwentiyo.
Buyintoni ubudlelwane benzondo yothando?
Ngaba ikhona into enjengokuthanda nokuzonda umntu ngaxeshanye kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane kunye nabo kwinkqubo? Kuthatha umntu ukuba azive iimvakalelo ezinje ukuba zibe kulwalamano lwenzondo yothando njengoko unokuhamba usuka kolunye uvakalelo olukhulu uye kolunye.
A thanda ubudlelwane benzondo ayinakwenzeka nje kunye nesithandwa kodwa kunye nomhlobo kunye nomntakwenu kodwa namhlanje, sigxile kubudlelwane bezothando.
Kuqhelekile ukuba nemvakalelo yomsindo, ingqumbo, kunye nentiyo encinci xa wena neqabane lakho nixabana kodwa xa isenzeka rhoqo ukuba kufanelekile kwaye endaweni yokwahlukana okulungileyo, uziva usomelela- unganakho ubudlelane bothando.
Obu budlelwane ngokuqinisekileyo bunokuba yi-rollercoaster yeemvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ezinzulu eziviwa sesi sibini. Kokubini kuyakhulula kodwa kuyadinisa, kuyonwabisa kodwa kuyadinisa, kuyathandeka kodwa kuyindlongondlongo kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuya kufuneka uzibuze- ngaba likho ikamva lolu hlobo lobudlelwane?
Uthando lwentiyo ubudlelwane ngokwenkcazo
Masichaze ulwalamano lwentiyo yothando-olu hlobo lobudlelwane luphawulwa ngokutshintsha okugqithileyo kwaye ngesiquphe kweemvakalelo ezingqubanayo zothando nentiyo.
Inokutsala xa nisilwa kwaye nithiyene kodwa zonke ezi zinokutshintsha kwaye ubuyele kubudlelwane bakho bothando kwakhona.
Ngexesha elithile, abanye banokuthi imvakalelo yoxolelwaniso emva komlo kunye nendlela umntu ngamnye azama ngayo konke okusemandleni akhe ukuze azenzele iziphene unokuziva ngathi ulikhoboka leemvakalelo kodwa ixesha elongezelelekileyo, oku kunokubangela iipatheni zokuhlukumeza ezinokukhokelela kwizenzo ezonakalisayo.
Ngaba ulwalamano lwenzondo lothando?
Uluhlulahlula njani ulwalamano lwentiyo kunye nokuxabana kwesiqhelo somthandi? Nazi imiqondiso ekufuneka uyibukele.
- Ngelixa ezinye izibini zineengxabano, wena neqabane lakho niyithatha niye kwelinye inqanaba. Umlo wakho wesiqhelo uya kugqithisa kwaye uya kukhokelela ekwahlukaneni kwaye uphinde ubuye kwakhona emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa. Ngumjikelo wobudlelwano kunye nokucima ubudlelwane kunye neengxoxo ezigabadeleyo.
- Kukho konke ukunyaniseka, ngaba uzibona usaluphala kunye neqabane lakho enabelana ngalo nothando lwenzondo? Ngokuqinisekileyo konke kuyanyamezeleka ngoku kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukuzicingela nalo mntu kunye nepatheni yobudlelwane onayo ngoku unokufuna ukuqala ukulungisa ubudlelwane.
- Ngokuqinisekileyo unokuba nobabini nisondelelene, nithandane, kwaye nive ukuba ninoxinzelelo olukhulu ngokwesondo kodwa ungathini malunga nonxibelelwano olunzulu apho ungathetha khona malunga neenjongo zakho zobomi kunye nekamva lakho?
- Ngaba uziva ngathi unemithwalo yemicimbi engasonjululwanga enokuba negalelo kulwalamano lwakho lwentiyo? Ukuba ezi mvakalelo kunye nemicimbi edlulileyo zenza izinto zibe mandundu?
- Zininzi izinto enizithiyileyo malunga nomnye kodwa ningenzi nto ukulungisa ingxaki kwaye niyisombulule. Uthula nje umsindo kwaye uzonde de uphinde uqhume kwakhona.
- Ngaba uthetha ngasemva kweqabane lakho kubahlobo bakho? Ngaba le yindlela yokukhupha ukukhathazeka kunye neengxaki zakho?
- Ngaba uziva ngathi uyolo lokulwa kwaye ungqina ukuba ngubani ongalunganga emva kolo daba akukuniki ubudlelwane bokwenyani kodwa endaweni yoko kukukhulula ukukhathazeka okwethutyana?
Psychology yobudlelwane nothando
Isayikholoji yobudlelwane nothando inokudideka kakhulu kwaye kufuneka siqonde ukuba kuya kubakho iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo eziza kuchaphazela indlela esiphatha ngayo ubudlelwane bethu. Uthando luza ngeendlela ezininzi kwaye uthando lwesithandana yenye yazo. Xa ufumana iqabane elifanelekileyo, bobabini kufuneka basebenze nzima ukuze babe ngcono kwaye bazalisekise intsingiselo enzulu yobomi.
Ngelixa iimpikiswano nokungavisisani kuyinto eqhelekileyo, ayifanelanga ukuba ibangele iimvakalelo ezixubileyo zentiyo kuphela kodwa ikwayiyo nethuba lokukhula ngokweemvakalelo notshintsho.
Ngale ndlela, omabini amaqabane angafuna ukusebenza kuphuhliso lomntu kunye.
Ukujongana nothando ubudlelwane bobuhlanga kukuba omabini la maqela ahlala kwiimvakalelo ezigabadeleyo kunye nemicimbi kwaye endaweni yokusebenza kwimicimbi, banokuvele babhenele ekuphikisaneni nasekubonakaliseni inqaku labo kuphela ukuba lixolelwe "luthando" lwabo kwaye umjikelo uyaqhubeka.
Umcimbi wokwenyani nobudlelwane bothando
Abanye banokucinga ukuba bayathandana kakhulu kwaye olu thando ulwalamano nentiyo luyimveliso yothando lwabo olugqithisileyo omnye komnye kodwa akunjalo. Ngapha koko, ayisiyondlela esempilweni yokuba nolwalamano. Ubudlelwane bokwenyani buya kusebenza kumcimbi kwaye buya kuqinisekisa ukuba unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo luhlala lukhona. Inyani elusizi apha yeyokuba uthando nentiyo ubudlelwane bunokukunika nje imvakalelo engeyiyo yokufunwa kwaye ukwazi ukuya ngokuchasene nazo zonke iingxaki zothando lwakho kodwa into apha kukuba ekuhambeni kwexesha oku kungakhokelela nasekuxhatshazweni kwaye akukho mntu ufuna oko.
Uthando lokwenene alunakuze uzicingele ngokwakho, awuyamkeli nje kuphela into yokuba ulwalamano lwentiyo luyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ekugqibeleni luya kulunga- kuba aluyi kuba njalo. Obu budlelwane obungenampilo kwaye abuyi kukwenzela nto.
Cinga ngeendlela onokuthi ube ngcono ngazo kungekuphela njengomntu kodwa njengesibini. Akukaze kube lixesha lokuba utshintshe ubengcono kwaye ube nolwalamano olujolise kuthando nentlonipho.