Umxholo
- 1. Ukuqonda imida yakho
- 2. Ukungazibopheleli omnye komnye
- 3. Ukukhula kohlukana
- 4. Ukuvavanya ukuthembakala
Ukuqonda ixesha lokwahlukana emtshatweni akusosigqibo esilula. Ukuba ujongene nesigqibo sokwahlukana kwaye imeko yakho ayiqhutywa yimeko enobungozi okanye yokuhlukumeza, ungakhwela kakhulu kwisigqibo sakho.
Wazi njani ukuba ukwahlukana yinto elungileyo ekufuneka yenziwe? Ungathini ukuba isigqibo sokwahlukana emtshatweni sisigqibo esingxamile - ukuba ukuba sithathiwe kunokutshabalalisa amandla akho eminyaka emininzi yolonwabo kunye neqabane lakho langoku?
Wazi njani xa uza kwahlukana emtshatweni? Umbuzo obalulekileyo ukubuza. Ukukunceda kwisigqibo sakho, sidwelise iingongoma ezimbalwa ekufuneka uziqwalasele ukuze uthathe isigqibo sokuba lixesha lokunamathela okanye lokujija.
1. Ukuqonda imida yakho
Sonke sinemida; ziyimfuneko ebomini ukuze sikwazi ukuseka imeko yokhuseleko kwihlabathi kwaye sikwazi ukufunda indlela yokunxibelelana nabanye. Eminye imida iya kubonakala kuthi, kodwa eminye imida ihlala ilahlekile kuthi kuba bahlala kulwazi lwethu lokungazi kwaye bafumaneka kuphela kwiipateni nakwizigqibo zethu.
Kungenxa yokuba sinemida ayithethi ukuba zihlala zihleli zinengqondo kwaye zilungile. Senza imida ngokungazi, ngokusekwe kumava ethu ebomini, nanjengomntwana. Eminye imida ayisoloko ikukhonza kakuhle. Kwaye emtshatweni, kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba kutheni iqabane lakho lityhalelene nemida yakho, kwaye yintoni ebangela loo mda ukuze wazi ukuba liqabane lakho ekufuneka litshintshile, okanye nguwe.
Ukuba umda wakho wawakhelwe kulwazi olunobulungisa kunye nomda ofanelekileyo (umzekelo womda osengqiqweni kulindeleke ukuba kuthethwe ngawo ngentlonelo nangobubele) kwaye iqabane lakho liyaqhubeka nokuwunyanzela loo mda, unokufumana isigqibo sokuba wohlukane nini emtshatweni. Kodwa ukuba unomda ongenangqondo (umzekelo, iqabane lakho alinakho ukujonga omnye umntu wesini esahlukileyo umzuzwana omnye okanye kwaphela), kwaye uzifumanisa uwuthandabuza umtshato wakho ngenxa yoku, ke oku kufanelekile ukuba ukuthathele ingqalelo.
Phambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokwahlukana emtshatweni, thatha ixesha lokuvavanya ukuba imida yakho iyavakala na, kwaye ukuba ayifanelekanga, lixesha lokuba uxoxe ngale micimbi kunye neqabane lakho kwaye nifune uncedo lokusombulula izizathu ezibangele ezo meko.
Ukuba uyayiqonda indawo olele kuyo kwaye ungachitha ixesha uvavanya indlela oyenze ngayo le mida uya kuqala ukufumana ingcaciso malunga nokukuqhubela emtshatweni ongonwabanga kunye nemibono yokwahlukana. Oku kuyakukunceda ufikelele kwindawo apho uya kuqinisekiswa ukuba iinkqubo zakho zokwenza izigqibo zilungelelaniswe kwaye zihambelana neenjongo zakho ebomini. Kwaye kwezinye iimeko, oku kunokuba kuzo zonke iimfuno zomtshato wakho.
2. Ukungazibopheleli omnye komnye
Ukuba elinye iqabane alinakuzibona lizinikela kumaqabane akhoyo ngoku ubomi babo bonke nokuba imicimbi ethile yomtshato isonjululwe, kwaye azikho ezinye izinto ezichaphazela le ndlela uziva ngayo, ke ukwazi ukuba ukwahlukana nini emtshatweni kuya kuba lula. Ngaphandle kokuzibophelela kumacala omabini, kungenzeka ukuba umtshato wakho uhlale ematyeni lonke ixesha lakho kunye. Iyavakala ke into yokuba sikhulule omnye nomnye.
3. Ukukhula kohlukana
Umgama phakathi kwamaqabane yingxaki eqhelekileyo ethi inkoliso yemitshato ibe namaxesha ngamaxesha. Uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo banokuzibuyisa kunye emva kwexesha lomgama omnye komnye; kodwa kwezinye iimeko, ukuba awuphethwe umgama, unokukhokelela kwiingxaki ezinzulu zomtshato ezinokukhokelela kumbuzo ongenakuphepheka malunga nokuba lixesha lokwahlukana emtshatweni.
Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo, okanye ukungabikho kweenjongo ezabelwana ngazo, okanye ukungabikho kokuzibophezela komnye nomnye ziimpawu oye wahlukana. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu bahlala kunye nangona bekubudlelwane obungalunganga. Kodwa kwezinye iimeko, kukho iinjongo ezingalunganga, iziphazamiso, unxibelelwano olubi kunye nokungaqondani okubangela ukuba isibini sihlukane. Zonke ezi meko zifuna nje ukuvavanya, ukuphinda uvavanye, kwaye uxolelanise ukuze nibe, njengesibini, nizikhuphe kububi bobomi kwaye nilungelelanise uthando lwenu, ukuzibophelela kunye nenjongo yenu ekwabelwana ngayo yokugcina umtshato wenu.
Konke okufuneka ukwenze ukuba wohlukane nini emtshatweni kule meko kukwazi ukuba uhleli kweliphi icala locingo. Ngaba uyahlukana phakathi kwemicimbi enzulu okanye kukuzakhela iingxaki ezincinci? Ukuze usebenze ngokusebenza kwakhe, omabini amaqabane kuya kufuneka athembeke. Nyaniseka kwisiqu sakho malunga nokuba kutheni utshatile, kutheni ufuna ukuhlala utshatile, kwaye kutheni ungafuna ukwahlukana. Kwaye unyanisekile malunga nokuba usalithanda na iqabane lakho nokuba usazinikele na kulo. Beka bucala uloyiko, okanye ingqumbo kwaye ujonge umtshato wakho ngokwale ndlela yokunyaniseka.
4. Ukuvavanya ukuthembakala
Indlela yokugqibela yokwazi ukuba uza kwahlukana nini emtshatweni, ukuba uzigqithile zonke ezi zinto zitshekishwe ngasentla, kwaye awufumani meko ikuhlukumezayo zibuze oku. Ngaba unokumthemba umntu otshate naye?
Ngaba ungamthemba umlingane wakho ukuba aqhubeke nokukuthanda kwaye azibophelele kuwe? Ukunyaniseka kuvavanyo lwabo lomtshato, nakunxibelelwano lwabo nawe ukuze nibe nakho ukubuya kunye? Ngaba ungamthemba umntu otshate naye ukuba asebenze nani ukuze nincedeke nina nobabini?
Okokugqibela kususwe
Ukuba kukho into emtshatweni wakho efuna ukuyitshintsha ukuze igcinwe, kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba ungamthemba umntu otshate naye ukuba uzimisele ngokupheleleyo ekusebenzisaneni nawe ukuzisa utshintsho kwaye ungabuyeli kwiipateni ezindala. Ukuba awunakuthembela kwiqabane lakho okanye ngokwakho ukuba ungabuyeli kwimikhwa yakudala, kufanelekile ukuba uthathele ingqalelo ukuba ingaba le yinto onokuhlala nayo ngonaphakade, okanye ukuba yinto yokulalanisa kakhulu. Kwaye ukuba kuninzi kokulalanisa, kwaye ukuthembana akunakusetyenziswa, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuya kwesahlulelo setyala ukubona ukuba nihlala njani nobabini kude.