Umxholo
Sonke siyazi ukuba i-narcissists ayizukuba yeyona ilula kubantu abaza kutshata nayo kwaye ayisiyiyo esona sigqibo silungileyo sokubatshata kodwa ubatshate.
Ewe, ukuba besiyazi ngoko into esiza kuyifumana kwixa elizayo, singakhawuleza siqonde ukuba umtsalane wethu onomtsalane, obukekayo, onomtsalane nonomdla unxibe idyasi yokuzifihla leyo nkqu nabona bantu baqondayo banokungayiqapheli. .
Kungekudala, i-knight yethu kwisikrweqe esikhanyayo okanye inkosazana yethu entle iqala ukubonisa imibala yazo yokwenyani. Nguwe kuphela ongayi kwazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni okanye indlela ebuhlungu ngayo imibala yabo yokwenyani, de ube uphilile kwaye uzivalele ngokwenyani ezingalweni zabo, kwaye babusele bonke ubomi kuwe.
Lowo ngumtshato kwi-narcissist yakho.
Abanye abantu, endaweni yokubuza umbuzo othi 'bahlala njani batshatile?', Bangabuza njani ukuba emhlabeni umntu otshatileyo utshatile kwasekuqaleni?
Ke sizimisele ukuphendula yomibini le mibuzo. Qhubeka ufunda ukuze ufumane indlela.
1. Umtsalane
Umtsalane wokuqala we-narcissist sisizathu sokuba umntu obhinqileyo atshate kwindawo yokuqala, kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba ibe yimpendulo yendlela abahleli ngayo bahlala betshatile.
Kungabonakala kungaqhelekanga ukuba umntu obonisa ezo mpawu mbi unokuba nenqanaba lomtsalane elinokubonakaliswa li-narcissist.
Umtsalane oboniswa ngumnxibelelanisi ekuqaleni kobudlelwane ngokudlula kude kubukrelekrele kuye nawuphi na umntu ophakathi, kwaye yile nto ibamba iintliziyo zomntu abatshatileyo.
Kodwa ingxaki apha kukuba le 'khubalo' ayisiyonyani, i-narcissist iyayazi nje into ekufuneka iyenzile ukugqitha iingcinga zakho zothando kwaye 'ube' ngumntu ogqibeleleyo kuwe.
Le ntelekelelo inokuba sisizathu sokuba abantu abatshatileyo bakwazi ukutshata kunye nenxalenye yempendulo yombuzo othi 'bahlala njani abatshatisi?'.
2. Umjikelo woxhatshazo
Ngamava omtsalane (ekuxoxwe ngawo ngasentla) anokubangela ukuba iqabane lomchasi liqhubeke nokuba nethemba lokuba ngenye imini banokuphinda bavuselele oko babekhe banako. Mhlawumbi ukurhabaxa nokuziphatha gwenxa kweqabane labo narcissist kungenxa yoxinzelelo, okanye mhlawumbi yenye into efanelekileyo.
Eyona nto bangayiqondiyo kukuba le ndlela bazibona ngayo kumaqabane abo ayizukutshintsha yile nto bayiyo.
Amathuba kukuba iqabane le-narcissist alisoze liphinde libone uhlobo olunomtsalane kunye noluthandekayo lweqabane labo kwakhona. Ngaphandle kokuba i-narcissist ikholelwa ukuba isondele ekulahlekelweni liqabane, indlela abaziphatha ngayo ihlala ingaguqukanga.
Ukuba i-narcissist ikholelwa ekubeni inokuphulukana neqabane layo inokuzama ukusebenzisa umtsalane wayo ukubuyisa iintliziyo zamaqabane ayo kwakhona.
Kodwa, isihlandlo sesibini ikhubalo livuliwe ngokuqinisekileyo alizukuqina, okanye lisebenze njengokuba lalinjalo ngaphambili. Nangona kunjalo, iya kwanela, ngenxa yeziphumo zomjikelo woxhatshazo.
Yonke le meko ingumzekelo womjikelo woxhatshazo apho umntu eziva enesidima malunga nomxhaphazi, esenza izizathu zokuziphatha kwabo kwaye engenako ukwahlukana nokuziphatha kwabo okutshabalalisayo.
3. Ukungabi namandla
Kuyo yonke iminyaka yomtshato kwi-narcissist, kuye kwakho ithuba elaneleyo lokuba i-narcissist ichithe ukuzithemba kwamaqabane abo, ibenze bodwa kwaye ibenze bazive bengonelanga ngokungathi abayi kufumana mntu ungcono kunomlingane wabo.
Oku kushenxiswa rhoqo kuya kunciphisa ukuzithemba kwabantu abatshatileyo, ukuqonda nokuzithemba. Inokubangela ukuba bathandabuze amandla abo okwenza izigqibo kwaye bazibuze ngokungafunekiyo ngenxa yokukhanyisa igesi.
Kukungabikho kwamandla kunye nokukhanyisa ngegesi okucacisa ukuba i-narcissist ihlala itshatile njani.
AmaNarcissist alungile ekusebenziseni nasekuxhobiseni amaqabane abo.
4. Ulawulo namandla
Ngoku ukuba iqabane labo lingenamandla, i-narcissist inokuthi ibalawule ngokuthanda kwabo.
Lo ngomnye umzekelo wendlela i-narcissist ehlala itshatile ngayo.
Kuthatha umzamo omkhulu kwiqabane lomlingisi ukuba ahlukane neemvakalelo, iingqondo, kunye namaxesha athile emzimbeni wokutshata narcissist.
Kwezinye iimeko, iinzame zininzi kakhulu kubafazi babuthathaka kwaye ke bahlala betshatile. Kude kube iqabane le-narcissist lifumane amandla okuhamba, i-narcissist ihlala itshatile (ixesha elingakanani, kuxhomekeke kwintando yexhoba lakhe).
Ukutshata ne-narcissist kunokuba nzima kodwa ukuqonda ukuba i-narcissist ihlala itshatile kulula kangakanani.
I-narcissist ayinakuhlala itshatile ngokubonisa uthando, uvelwano, okanye imbeko. Endaweni yoko, iya kuba kukusetyenziswa gwenxa, ulawulo, kunye nokunyanzelwa.
Zonke ezi zinto zingasentla zinokubonakala ngathi ziingcinga ezigwenxa ngokuziphatha gwenxa. Kodwa, kwizifundo, bambalwa kakhulu ama-narcissist akwazileyo ukubonisa uvelwano, kwaye xa enayo, inqabile kakhulu, echaza ukuba kutheni ibali limfiliba.
Akunakulindeleka ukuba i-narcissist itshintshe-nokuba ithembisa kangakanani ukuba iyakwenza njalo.