Umxholo
- Sithetha ntoni ngo "Ukucamngca?"
- 1. Ukucamngca kunokuphucula ukuzithemba kwakho
- 2. Ukucamngca kunokukwenza uzive wonwabile
- 3. Ukucamngca kunokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo
- Ukucamngca kunokunceda
- Ukucamngca kunokwandisa ububele kunye novelwano
- Ukuqala kokucamngca
Xa ubudlelwane bakho nabo basondeleyo kuwe ingeyiyo yonke into ongathanda ukuba babe yiyo, thatha esi njengesimemo sokuma kwaye ujonge kakuhle iingcinga zakho kunye nesimo sakho sengqondo.
Ngaba uhlala uziva uxinezelekile, unexhala, okanye ungonwabanga? Ngaba ulwa neemvakalelo zokuziva ungaxabisekanga? Ngaba uyakhawuleza ukugxeka abanye? Zonke ezi mpendulo ngokuzenzekelayo zinokuba nefuthe elibi kumandla ethu okonwabela ubudlelwane obuqinileyo, nothando.
Ngelixa kunokubonakala ngathi yinto engenamsebenzi, ukuchitha ixesha ucamngca ngomtshato kunokuba sisitshixo esilahlekileyo kubudlelwane obuqinisekileyo kunye nolunye olubalulekileyo.Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukucamngca kunokunika izibonelelo ukusuka ekunciphiseni uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo kukonyuka kokonwaba kunye nobubele-zonke ezo zinokuba luncedo ekutshintsheni ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho.
Sithetha ntoni ngo "Ukucamngca?"
Xa sithetha "ngokucamngca", sithetha ngeendlela ezininzi kunye nezithethe ezikunceda ukuba uqeqeshe ingqondo yakho-hayi ezo zivela eMpuma okanye ezinye iinkolo. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo, ukucamngca kubandakanya ukubeka bucala ixesha elinikezelweyo (oku kunokuba kuncinci njengemizuzu embalwa ngosuku) ukugxila kwiingcinga zakho kunye nokuqwalaselwa kwamagama athile, amabinzana, izimvo, okanye imifanekiso.
Njengoko ukuphazamiseka kungena kwingqondo yakho kwaye ingqondo yakho iqala ukubhadula, ngobunono ubuyise iingcinga zakho kumxholo wokucamngca de kube kugqityiwe iseshoni.
Kungangumsebenzi onzima ekuqaleni, kodwa ukufunda ukulawula kunye nokuqeqesha iingcinga zakho kunezibonelelo ezandisela ngaphaya kwexesha lakho lokucamngca ukuze uchaphazele indlela oziva kwaye uphendule ngayo ngalo lonke usuku. Ukucamngca kwemihla ngemihla kwizibini kunokuba luncedo kakhulu kubudlelwane.
Makhe sijonge kwisibonelelo ngasinye sokulamla esiphambili somtshato kunye neendlela zokucamngca eziphucula ubudlelwane-
1. Ukucamngca kunokuphucula ukuzithemba kwakho
Ukuba nokuzithemba okunempilo kunokuba nefuthe elikhulu kubudlelwane bethu. Abantu abazixabisileyo, abazithandayo, nabazithandayo kunokwenzeka ukuba bakhethe iqabane elifanayo eliqinisekileyo nelinempilo, elinokuphepha imigibe emininzi yokuxhomekeka.
Kubudlelwane obuxhomekeke kwikhowudi, elinye iqabane lifuna ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo kwelinye, elixhomekeke kubo ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo zemihla ngemihla ngenxa yokugula, ukukhubazeka, okanye umlutha. Ngokuzithemba okusempilweni, awudingi kuqinisekiswa rhoqo kwabanye kwaye uyakwazi ukungena kubudlelwane obusempilweni, bokuxhomekeka endaweni yoko.
Ukucamngca kukonyusa njani ukuzithemba? Ukucamngca ngokukhokelwa zizibini ezitshatileyo kuyazinceda zichonge iipateni zokucinga eziyingozi okanye zokuzitshabalalisa, ukucamngca kunokubanceda ukuba bafunde iindlela ezizezinye zokucinga ezizizo, zokulungisa iingxaki, kunye nokuziva bengamalolo.
Umntu oziva ephelele kubo bonke ngabakwa -seleseleers unokuhlala kubudlelwane kuba befuna, hayi kuba beziva kunyanzelekile.
Eso sisiseko esomelele ngakumbi kunxibelelwano oluvulekileyo nolunyanisekileyo!
2. Ukucamngca kunokukwenza uzive wonwabile
Ukuziva udimazekile, ungonwabanga, okanye udandathekile kunokuthatha umthwalo emtshatweni wakho. Nokuba ungquzulwano emtshatweni lubangela uxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo lubangela ungquzulwano, ukuziva uphantsi, ngokubanzi, kunokubangela ukuba ukujonge ukusebenzisana kwakho neqabane lakho ngendlela engeyiyo. Inokubangela ukuba uphendule iqabane lakho ngokungazithembi ngokusekwe kwezi mbono, ukubanegalelo ekuvuseleleni phakathi kwakho nobabini kunye nokunciphisa ukoneliseka emtshatweni.
Ukucamngca kunokukunceda ukuguqula lo mjikelo ngokunyusa imood yakho kunye nokukunceda ukuba ugxile kwizinto ezintle kubudlelwane bakho.
Uphononongo lokucamngca ngengqondo oluqhutywa kwisithuba seeveki ezisi-8 lubonise ukuba abantu abacamngce babenomsebenzi omkhulu wobuchopho bombane kwindawo enxulunyaniswa nomoya oqinisekileyo xa kuthelekiswa nabantu abangacamngciyo. Kwangokunjalo, uphononongo olucwangcisiweyo lwezifundo zonyango lweCognitive-based Cognitive Therapy lubonise "ukunciphisa ngokunciphisa okukhulu kwiimpawu zokudakumba [...] xa kuthelekiswa namaqela olawulo."
Ngokuhlakulela umbono oqinisekileyo ngobomi kunye nolwalamano lwakho, ukucamngca kunokubakho ekuphuculeni ithoni yokunxibelelana nabanye ababalulekileyo. Yenye yeendlela zokucamngca okudala ubudlelwane obungcono.
3. Ukucamngca kunokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo
Uxinzelelo yenye into enokunciphisa umgangatho wobudlelwane. Amaqabane oxinzelelo ahlala ephazamiseka kwaye erhoxa, engathandani kangako, kwaye engabi namonde kangako kumaqabane abo kunye neempazamo zabo. Okumangalisayo kukuba, uxinzelelo lunokuzisa elona limbi kwiqabane lakho, njengoko isixa esikhulu soxinzelelo olubonakalayo lunokubangela ukuba omnye umntu naye arhoxe kubudlelwane.
Isifundo sika-2004 sifumanise ukuba uxinzelelo lwalunefuthe elibi kwindlela abatshatileyo abayijonga ngayo imitshato yabo kunye nefuthe labo ekutolikeni nasekuqhubeni ezo mbono.
Ngokufana namandla abonwa ngokudakumba emtshatweni, uxinzelelo kule meko (kunye namava ahambelana noxinzelelo) kubonwe njengegalelo kukuqonda okungalunganga kwamaqabane kumgangatho wabo womtshato.
Ukucamngca kunokunceda
Ngaba ukucamngca kunokunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo? Izifundo ezininzi zibonisa ukuba inako. Uhlalutyo lweemeta lwamaphepha ophando angama-600 ngokucamngca okungaphaya kokubonisa ukuba izifundo ezinamanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo xa ziqalisa inkqubo yokucamngca zifumene ukuncipha okukhulu koxinzelelo kamva.
Xa kuthelekiswa namaqela olawulo, izifundo ezazinengxaki yoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo zinamava okuphungulwa kwinqanaba labo loxinzelelo emva kweeveki ezimbini kwaye bonwabele iziphumo ezizinzileyo emva kweminyaka emithathu.
Ngokunciphisa amanqanaba oxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, kunokuba lula ukuba unakekele iimfuno zeqabane lakho kunye nezakho, ube nothando ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho, kwaye ubonakalise ukuba nomonde ngakumbi. Zonke ezi ziindlela ezintle zokuphucula ubudlelwane bakho!
Ukucamngca kunokwandisa ububele kunye novelwano
Njengoko iminyaka idlula kwaye iifoto zakho zomtshato ziphela kwimemori emnyama, kulula ukuphulukana nentlantsi owawukhe unayo kwaye ucaphukise iqabane lakho ngenxa yezinto ezincinci ezingazange zikukhathaze ngaphambili.
Njengoko kuvela, ukucamngca kunokukunceda ube liqabane elinobubele kunye novelwano.
Uhlobo lokucamngca olubizwa ngokuba yiMetta (okanye ukucamngca ngobubele bothando) likufundisa ukuba uhlakulele uhlobo kunye nothando lweengcinga kunye neemvakalelo-kuqala kuwe.
Ezi ngcinga zobubele kunye noxolelo ziye zandiselwe abo sibathandayo kwaye ekugqibeleni kubahlobo kunye neentshaba.
Izifundo ezingamashumi amabini anesibini zenziwa ukuvavanya ukusebenza kokucamngca ngobubele obunothando kwimpilo nakwintlalo-ntle yezifundo, ngeziphumo ezinomdla. Ngophononongo olucwangcisiweyo, kwaqwalaselwa ukuba ixesha elininzi elityalomali kulo mkhuba, kokukhona iimvakalelo ezilungileyo ezazifunyanwa ngabathathi-nxaxheba kubo nakwabanye xa kuthelekiswa neqela lolawulo. Ukuziva unovelwano ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho kunokuhamba umgama omde ekuvuseleleni uthando kunye nokusondelelana obukuve ekuqaleni!
Ukuqala kokucamngca
Ngezibonelelo ezininzi ezinokubakho kumtshato wakho ngexabiso eliphantsi kuwe, ukucamngca kufanelekile ukuzama. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ngubani ongathandiyo ukonwaba ngakumbi, ukuba nomonde kunye nothando?
Ngelixa ukucamngca kwengqondo, ukucamngca okungaphaya kokucamngca, kunye nokucamngca ngobubele bothando kuye kwakhankanywa kwizifundo apha, zininzi iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokucamngca ezikhoyo. Ukufumana isenzo esikusebenzelayo ngumbandela wokufumana olungele ubuntu bakho, iinkolelo kunye neenjongo zakho. Unokufunda ngakumbi ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokucamngca ezincwadini nakwi-Intanethi, okanye ucinge ukusebenzisa usetyenziso lokucamngca olulungiselela inkqubo yokucamngca kwiimfuno zakho kunye nomdla wakho.
Unokuzonwabela izibonelelo zokucamngca njengentsapho ngokuhlakulela ukuqonda kwimisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla kunye nokufundisa abantwana bakho ukuba bacamngce. Abantwana, ulutsha kunye nabantu abadala abahlala kulo mzuzu kwaye bayakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo benza ikhaya libe noxolo ngakumbi kwaye libe nemveliso kuye wonke umntu!