Umxholo
- Uhlobo "lwabahlobo abangalunganga" ingxaki
- Ingxaki yokholo olungqubanayo
- Ukufumana abahlobo abatsha
- Alikaze lihambe ixesha
Kukhuselekile ukuba umtshato yeyona nto ibalulekileyo kulwalamano lwethu uninzi lwethu ebomini bethu. Lelinye lawona mava makhulu kodwa kube ngumceli mngeni esijongene nawo ebomini, kokubini phakathi kwabatshatileyo naphakathi kwakho nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho. Kodwa ukuba ufumanisa ukuba umtshato wakho uchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho ngendlela engafanelekanga, musa ukunxibelelana ngoko nangoko namagqwetha oqhawulo mtshato! Endaweni yoko, kuya kufuneka ufumane indlela yokujongana nayo njengayo nayiphi na ingxaki.
Makhe sihambe ngezinye zeengxaki eziqhelekileyo kunye neengxabano ezinokuthi zenzeke xa sibopha iqhina. Sukuba nexhala, ayizukuba sisloglo esidandathekisayo! Ngethemba, uya kuphuma uxhobile kungekuphela ngolwazi oluthe kratya, kodwa ngokuzithemba kubudlelwane bakho kunye nozinzo.
Uhlobo "lwabahlobo abangalunganga" ingxaki
Emva komtshato, usenokuba uqaphele ukuba awuhlali nabahlobo bakho abangatshatanga njengakuqala. Kulungile kwaye kuyaqondakala ngokupheleleyo! Ayizukuchaneka ngokuchanekileyo ukuba banomona, kodwa into owawufana nayo-ukungatshati- akusekho. Oku kunokwenza ukuba kube nzima ukunxibelelana; Ngelixa amabali abo emihla yokutya okungalunganga eneentlobo ezininzi, amabali akho anokubandakanya umntu otshate naye.
Kananjalo kunokuba nzima ukuba abahlobo bakho abangatshatanga baxhonywe kunye nawe kunye nesiqingatha sakho, uziva ngathi livili lesithathu okanye ngaphezulu, uziva ngathi uphumelele kwinto ekusafuneka bayenze- ukufumana uthando. Iqabane lakho linokuba nomcimbi kunye nawe xa ujinga nabahlobo bakho abangatshatanga okanye amantombazana ngaphandle kwabo kuba kubo kunokuba ngathi uzama ukubaleka kubomi bakho obutsha.
Ke ujongana njani noku? Ngaba uyabavumela obo buhlobo buphele? Nangona oko kwenzeka ngokwenene, akudingeki ukuba kwenzeke. Ukuthintela ukukhutshwa kwevili lesithathu okanye ingxaki yeqabane elingakhuselekanga, kuya kufuneka ufumane indlela yokuqhubeka nokunxibelelana nabo ngaphandle komtshato wakho ulithambo lengxabano.
Kumtshato wam, ndenza iinzame zokonwabisa abahlobo ngakumbi. Kule minyaka, bendisindleka amaqela esidlo, ubusuku bemidlalo yebhodi, ukuphuma kweqela ukuya kwimiboniso bhanyabhanya. Njengentsapho yokholo, mna nomyeni wam sonyuse ukuzibandakanya kwethu necawa yethu yasekhaya-into esasiyichasa xa sisebancinci kodwa sayifumana ngokumangalisayo iluncedo ekwakheni uthungelwano lwabahlobo kunye nokusigcina sibandakanyeka kuluntu lwethu ngeendlela ezimnandi nezingalindelekanga.
Ingxaki yokholo olungqubanayo
Kutshanje, umhlobo wam utshatile. Wakhula engumKatolika kwaye umyeni wakhe wayekhule engumProtestanti. Kudala ke ukuba ungquzulwano lukhona, lusenokuphakamisa ukubakho kwengxabano phakathi kwezi ntsapho zimbini. Baza kuyibhiyozela njani iKrisimesi? Okanye i-Ista? Okanye naziphi na iinkonzo zolo daba? Kwakungekho krakra, kodwa umhlobo wam kunye nomyeni wakhe babenengxaki.
Kwakungenxa yokulalanisa kunye nonxibelelwano apho oku kungazange kube yingxaki. Bahlala phantsi neentsapho zabo baxoxa ngento ekufuneka bayenzile. Kwafumaniseka ukuba abazali bomhlobo wam bonwabele iinkonzo zabo zeKrisimesi ngaphezulu kweenkonzo zabo zePasika ngelixa okwahlukileyo kuyinyani nakubazali bomyeni wakhe. Ekugqibeleni bavumile ukuba bazokuya ecaweni yomhlobo wam ngeKrisimesi nakumyeni wakhe ngePasika.
Ngapha koko, njengoko ixesha liqhubeka kwakulo nyaka wokuqala, umhlobo wam kunye nomyeni wakhe babekwazi ukweyisela abazali babo ukuba baye nakwezinye iinkonzo kwicawa zabanye. Oku kubonisa ukuba unxibelelwano yeyona nto ibalulekileyo ekubambeni xa ujonga indlela umtshato omtsha ubuchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane obukhoyo kunye neentsapho zakho.
Ukufumana abahlobo abatsha
Njengokuba nabani na kubudlelwane bexesha elide ezakunixelela, kuya kusiba nzima kuni nobabini ukwenza abahlobo. Ngelixa ngokuqinisekileyo unokugcina ubuhlobo bakho bangaphambili (njengoko kuchaziwe apha ngasentla), ngamanye amaxesha oko akunakwenzeka. Ukanti sonke siyabudinga ubomi boluntu; abantu zizidalwa zentlalo. Umbuzo ngowokuba uyakwazi njani ukufumana abahlobo abatsha xa kunzima ukwenza loo nto njengoko uneminyaka yobudala?
Uyakhumbula ukuba kutheni kwakulula ukwenza abahlobo xa wawusekholejini okanye kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo? Kwakungekho nje ngenxa yokuba kwenzeka ukuba udibane nabantu obunamaqashiso ofanayo nabo. Kwakungenxa yokuba wawunyanzelwa kunye, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba nifunda kunye. Kungenxa yoko le nto wena kunye neqabane lakho kufuneka nicinge ngokuthatha iklasi, ngakumbi enokuthi ininike nobabini ubuchule obutsha.
Omnye umhlobo wam utshatile kutsha nje kwaye yena nenkosikazi yakhe babalekela kule ngxaki inye. Ngexesha, abahlobo babo abangatshatanga, ngelixa bebaxhasa ngokwaneleyo, bebesenokunxibelelana okuncinci kakhulu nabo. Baye bakwazi ukuchitha ixesha nezinye izibini, kodwa ezo zibini zazineeshedyuli zazo kunye noxanduva lokuzinyamekela. Ekugqibeleni, umhlobo wam kunye nenkosikazi yakhe baqala ukuziva beziva bodwa kodwa bengayazi indlela yokwenza abahlobo.
Ukuqaphela oku, ndacebisa ukuba bathathe iklasi kunye. Kwakungenamsebenzi ukuba loluphi uhlobo lweklasi, kodwa ukuba yayiyinto abanokuyifunda kunye nelinye iqela labantu kwinqanaba elifanayo lesakhono, inokuvelisa imbonakalo yobudlelwane obenza ubuhlobo kube lula ukwenza. Bakhaba bejikeleza umbono wokuphucula, ukudanisa ibhola, kunye nokupeyinta, kodwa ekugqibeleni bagqiba kwelokubumba. Akukho namnye kubo owayenezakhono zobumbi kwaye baqonda ukuba kuya kuba mnandi.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, emva kokuphela kwekhosi yeeveki ezintandathu, babenabahlobo nabanye babo bafunda nabo. Ngoku bazibandakanya ngokwabo kunye nabahlobo abatsha apho bonke banesidlo sangokuhlwa, emva koko basele iwayini, kunye nodongwe lobumba iiyure ezimbalwa.
Alikaze lihambe ixesha
Le yeminye yemicimbi eqhelekileyo abajamelana nayo abantu abasandul 'ukutshata. Kodwa yonke le yimicimbi enokulungiswa, njengoko uninzi lwezinye ezinokujongana nosapho olutsha. Umtshato uyabuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakho nabahlobo kunye nosapho, kodwa ayisoloko iyinto elahlekileyo, ngakumbi ukuba uyazi ukuba ujongana njani notshintsho.
Ihlobo leLeticia
I-Leticia Summers ngumbhali ozimeleyo obesebhloga malunga nosapho kunye nemicimbi yobudlelwane phantse iminyaka eli-10. Usebenze njengomcebisi wobudlelwane kumashishini amancinci, kubandakanya namaqela omthetho wosapho.