Umxholo
- Ukuqonda ubunyani bomtshato
- 1. Khathalelana
- 2. Musa ukuvavanya izinto ngalo lonke ixesha
- 3. Uthando lwenza ukuba i-monotony ibonakale ilungile
- 4. Umtshato ungakwenza uzive ngathi ungumntu ombi
- 5. Sukuyeka ukusebenza kulwalamano lwakho
Abantu banezimvo ezahlukeneyo malunga unyaka wokuqala womtshato - bambalwa abayibona ngathi inzima kwaye iyakhohlisa ngelixa abanye bambalwa becinga ngenye indlela.
Usenokucinga 'Ukuba ukunye neqabane lakho ngaphezulu kweminyaka elishumi kwaye ukuba niyamkelana ngako konke ukungafezeki, ngokuqinisekileyo ninethuba lokufunda izinto ezintsha ngothando.' Kunene?
Kulungile! Oku akulunganga kwaphela. Kukho izinto akukho mntu ukuxelela ngomtshato. Unyaka wokuqala emtshatweni uza kukufundisa yonke into obudinga ukuyazi.
Ngoku, umntu unokuphikisa kwinto yokuba kwinkulungwane yama-21, inani labantu abadala abahlalisanayo neqabane elingatshatanga liyanda. Kwi-2018, phantse i-15% yabantu abadala abawela kwiqela lobudala be-25-34 bahlala kunye neqabane elingatshatanga.
Bayayiqonda imeko yokuhlala kunye. Ke, umtshato wabo unje ngokufumana iqhekeza lekhekhe, akunjalo? Uphazamile kwakhona kuba umntu uyehluleka ukuqonda lonto ukuhlala kunye nomtshato Zimbini ngokupheleleyo iikhonsepthi ezahlukeneyo.
Ukuqonda ubunyani bomtshato
Umtshato yi intle into, kanjalo. Kwaye, unyaka wokuqala womtshato umnandi. Kodwa, kuhlala kukho elinye icala lengqekembe.
Kukho izinto ezibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzazi ngaphambi komtshato. Ngaphandle kwento yokuba nobabini nihlalisene ixesha elininzi, mzuzu usithi 'ndiyayenza', izinto ziyatshintsha ngokupheleleyo.
Kwakhona, funda- Umtshato vs. Ukuhlala kunye
Kanye unyaka wokuqala womtshato lixesha ufunda ukuba ngumfazi okanye umyeni, wenze uhambo ukusuka 'Mna' ukuya ku 'We' ngempumelelo. Kodwa, ngoko nangoko, unguye hit ngoludwe ye amaxhala noxanduva mzuzu unyathela kolu hambo lutsha.
Izinto ezinje ngemali edibeneyo, ukusebenza malunga nemisebenzi emibini, ukunyuka kwexabiso lobomi, uxanduva ekwabelwana ngalo kunye nokuzibandakanya kweentsapho ezimbini, ukubolekisana ngamatyala emboleko, ukukhathalela imisebenzi yasekhaya, ukuziqhelanisa nemikhwa emibi ... uluhlu luyaqhubeka.
Kwakhona, funda- Lawula unxunguphalo kunyaka wokuqala womtshato
Ngokwe-Therapist yobudlelwane, u-Aimee Hartstein, uLCSW, "Umtshato wahlukile kunokuba sisibini nje." Wongeza athi, “yahluke nje ngokuhlalisana. Nangona zikhangeleka ngathi ziyinto enye, ngokuhlala kunye, kuhlala kulula ngokulula. Ngomtshato, utyikitye isivumelwano esibophelelayo. Umanyano olusisigxina, kwaye izibonda zivakala nje ngaphezulu. Konke ukulwa okanye ukuphoxeka emtshatweni kunokuziva kubalulekile kwaye kulayishwe umthwalo kuba yiyo le nto. ”
Kodwa, sukuyivumela imingeni ye unyaka wokuqala womtshato uyoyisa, kwaye akukho sizathu sokuncama. Khumbula!
Umtshato luhambo, hayi indawo ekuyiwa kuyo.
Ke, nazi iindlela ezimbalwa okanye iingcebiso zokoyisa imiqobo, nilwe nemiceli mngeni kunyaka wokuqala womtshato, kwaye nisebenzisane ekwakheni ubudlelwane obunempilo. Kwaye yile nto uyithandayo funda ngothando emva komtshato emva kweminyaka elishumi yokuhlala kunye neqabane lakho.
1. Khathalelana
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba umntu owabelana naye kwigumbi lokuhlambela ngamanye amaxesha uyakucaphukisa, kodwa ukuba wena kholwa lonto uthando lwakho kufuneka lulondolozwe, uxhathise umnqweno wokuqala ukuphikisana.
Ukuze ukhule ubudlelwane bakho, niya kuba nobabini kufuneka wenze imvakalelo ehlala ikhona umntu othile yiyo i ujonge umqolo wakho akunandaba nokuba unyanisile okanye awuchanekanga.
Oku akuthethi ukuba awufanelanga phawula ngezinto Iyakukhathaza, kodwa zama ukubaxelela ngaphandle kokugweba kwaye kuphela xa uwedwa. Umntu osisilumko uye wathi -
Umonde yinto elungileyo
Kwaye, umonde yinto oyifunayo ukuze ulugqibe ngempumelelo olu hambo, lubizwa ngokuba ngumtshato.
2. Musa ukuvavanya izinto ngalo lonke ixesha
Yeka ukugweba nokuvavanya izinto.
Umzekelo -
Kukho amaxesha apho uziva ungalufumani uncedo olwaneleyo kwiqabane lakho. Okanye, kukho amaxesha apho uziva ukuba wenza uninzi lwemisebenzi kwaye uxhalabise ngakumbi ngabantwana.
Endaweni yokwenza uvavanyo rhoqo xa uziva usoyika, qwalasela inyani yokuba yakho Iqabane linecala lalo ebalini kwaye uzibeke ezihlangwini zabo.
Uthando emva komtshato konke malunga nokuqondana.
Musa ukulinganisa eyakho imizamo kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo kwaye ungazibeki kwindawo yexhoba kubomi bosapho. Ukuba nobabini niyonwabile, abantwana benu basempilweni ngokulinganayo kwaye bonwabile, ke nina nobabini niphumelele.
3. Uthando lwenza ukuba i-monotony ibonakale ilungile
Ngexesha lonyaka wokuqala womtshato, bobabini amaqabane anexesha elaneleyo namandla - bayakonwabela ukuhamba, ukuphuma, ukuxhoma nabanye abantu, njl.
Xa benabantwana, i uxanduva luyakhula kwaye ubomi abufani. Awunyanzelekanga ukuba uzive ulusizi ngenxa yokuba ungenamandla kwaye kuba nobabini niqala ukulala nge-9 PM. Ngamanye amaxesha thanda uziva kubantwana bakho kunye neqabane lakho yenza ukuba i-monotony ibonakale ilungile.
Ewe awunyanzelekanga ukuba unamathele kwinkqubo efanayo kwaye unokuhlala uyicoca ishedyuli yakho.
4. Umtshato ungakwenza uzive ngathi ungumntu ombi
Xa abantu betshata, bahlala beyibona yonke Izinto ezilungileyo omnye komnye. Nangona kunjalo, umtshato uya kukunika ithuba Fumanisa Kaninzi malunga nobuthathaka babanye nothando luyakunceda woyise ezi ngxaki.
Ngamanye amaxesha iqabane lakho liya kukunyanzela jongana neziphene zakho kwaye le yinto enokukwenza uzive ngathi ungumntu ombi. Khumbula ukuba umntu, ovumayo iziphene zakhe aze athathe isigqibo sokusebenza kuzo, uya kuba ngumntu ongcono ngokuhamba kwexesha.
5. Sukuyeka ukusebenza kulwalamano lwakho
Nje ukuba ubonane kwindima yomzali uya kuphinda ufumane loo mvakalelo kwasekuqaleni kobudlelwane.
Kwelinye icala, abantwana banokufuna kakhulu kwaye baya ukucoca amandla amaninzi ukuba ngaphambili utyale ubudlelwane bakho. Nokuba kunzima kangakanani na, kuya kufuneka usoloko ufumana ixesha lokusebenza kubudlelwane bakho.
Yiyo kuphela indlela yokugcina uthando emva komtshato kunye neengcebiso ziya kwenza unyaka wakho wokuqala womtshato ube lula kwaye ube lula.