![Iingcali zityhila: Indlela yokujongana nokungahambelani ngokwesondo - I-Psychology Iingcali zityhila: Indlela yokujongana nokungahambelani ngokwesondo - I-Psychology](https://a.vvvvvv.kiev.ua/psychology/22-Experts-Reveal-How-to-Deal-with-Sexual-Incompatibility.webp)
Umxholo
- IGLORIA BRAME, PHD, ACS
- IMISISHA YOKULWA
- ICARLI BLAU, i-LMSW
- AMAZWE OXOLO, LMFT
- I-AVI KLEIN, iLCSW
- UJAN WEINER, PH.D.
- UIAN KERNER, PHD, LMFT
- UJANET ZINN, uLCSW
- ICONSTANTINE KIPNIS
- ZOE O. ENTIN, LCSW
- UADAM J. BIEC, LMHC
- I-ANTONIETA CONTRERAS, i-LCSW
- LAUREN EAVARONE
- URAKEL HERCMAN, LCSW
- UCARRIE WHITTAKER, LMHC, LPC, PhD (abd)
- SOPHIE KAY, MA, uMhleli.M.
- UDOUGLAS C. IINCWADI, MS, LCSW-Rfe
- J. RYAN UMFUMISI, PH.D.
- JOR-EL CARABALLO, LMHC
- UDULCINEA PITAGORA, MA, LMSW, MED, CST
- JACQUELINE DONELLI, LMHC
Ukwaneliseka ngokwesondo kuwo omabini amaqabane kubaluleke kakhulu ukuze wonwabe ebomini. Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa amaqabane engakhange afanise i-libidos? okanye xa enesondo esiphakamileyo kunawe? Ngaba abantu abanedrive ephezulu yokulalanisa kwiimfuno zabo zesondo okanye kufuneka bafune ukwaneliseka ngokwesondo ngaphandle komtshato wabo? Ngaba amaqabane ngesondo elisezantsi lokuqhuba anikezela kwizicelo zesondo lelinye iqabane ngokungathandi? kwaye zeziphi izisombululo ezinokubakho ngokungafaniyo ze-libido?
Nokuba yeyiphi na imeko, kuya kubakho inzondo kunye nengxabano kubudlelwane, enokuthi ikhokelele esiphelweni sobudlelwane. Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba ubudlelwane buyaphela xa ukungahambelani kwabo ngokwesondo phakathi kokuqhutywa ngokwesini kwabo bobabini abalingani?
Ukungangqinelani ngokwesondo yingxaki enkulu, kodwa kukho ezinye izisombululo ezifanelekileyo zoko. Iingcali ziveza indlela yokujongana nokungahambelani kwe-libidos okanye ukungangqinelani ngokwesondo kwaye ube nomtshato owonwabileyo kunye nozolisayo-
1) Thatha indlela yeqela ukuphucula ulonwabo ngokwesondo Tweet oku
IGLORIA BRAME, PHD, ACS
Isazi sezesondo esiqinisekisiweyo
Ukungahambelani ngokwesondo kuqhelekile kwizibini ezitshatileyo. Ayifanelanga ukuba ibe sisaphuli-mthetho NGAPHANDLE kokuba ukungangqinelani kubangela iintlungu kubudlelwane. Xa ndisebenza nesibini esizimisele ukugcina okanye ukuphucula umtshato waso, ndikuphatha ukungangqinelani njengomsebenzi wokwahluka kwendalo okunokulinganiswa ukwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo. Ukwahlula kuphela kuxa ukungahambelani ngesondo okungahambelaniyo kubangela ukungqubana okungathethekiyo kangangokuba elinye okanye omabini amaqabane akakwazi okanye awuzukuwenza umsebenzi.
Ke wenza ntoni ukuba awonelisekanga ngokwesondo? kwaye sisiphi isisombululo esifanelekileyo sokuqhuba ngesondo?
Ukuba ihlelwe kukuma kweMexico, uqhawulo-mtshato kufuneka lube phezu kwetafile. Kodwa, kuxhomekeke ekuzinikeleni kwakho emtshatweni (kunye nokuthatha intlalontle yabo nabaphi na abantwana onayo), unokuhlala uninzi lokwahluka ngokwesondo ngokwakha izakhono ezitsha kunye nokwenza imithetho emitsha kunye nemida ekugcina wanelisekile nobabini. Oku kunokubandakanya ukuxoxa ixesha elininzi lokulandela inkanuko yesini ngeendlela ezikhuselekileyo, ezamkelekileyo, ezinje ngokubukela iphonografi okanye ukuphulula amalungu esini ukuba utshatile. Okanye, ukuba uthembele kwi-adventure, oko kunokuthetha ukuxoxa ngamalungiselelo e-poly okanye indawo yokuphuma ye-kink / fetish fantasies, ngaloo ndlela kuphuculwe isini emtshatweni.
2) Ukuthatha uxinzelelo kwiqabane lakho ngesondo elisezantsi Tweet oku
IMISISHA YOKULWA
Isini esiqinisekisiweyo kunye noMqeqeshi wokuDibana
Ukungahambelani ngokwesondo, okanye ukuqhuba ngesondo okungahambelaniyo, okanye umnqweno ongahambelaniyo, ngumba oqhelekileyo ndiwubona emsebenzini wam nezibini. Ayothusi le nto kuba kunqabile ukuba abantu ababini bafune isondo kunye nokuhamba rhoqo ngamaxesha afanayo ngalo lonke ixesha lobudlelwane babo. Rhoqo kuvela ipatheni yeqabane elinye licela isini kwaye emva koko liziva linqatshiwe elinokubangela ukwahlukana ngakumbi. Ingcebiso yam ngomtshato ongahambelaniyo ngokwesondo, yeyokuba iqabane elinesondo eliphakamileyo lihlakulele ukuziqhelanisa nokuziphulula amalungu esini ukuze uthathe uxinzelelo kwiqabane elisezantsi. Ndingummeli omkhulu wokucwangcisa isondo kwangaphambili. Oku kususa uqikelelo kuthi "sizolala nini?" kwaye yakha ulindelo, oluhle kakhulu.
3) Ukufumana umhlaba ophakathi Tweet oku
ICARLI BLAU, i-LMSW
Isini kunye noLwalamano lweTherapist
Ukwabelana ngesondo ayisiyokwabelana ngesondo lobufazi bodwa, inokuthi ibandakanye izinto ezininzi ezahlukeneyo zesondo ezinjengokuphulula amalungu esini wedwa, ukuncamisana, ukudlala umdlalo wokuqala kunye okanye ukuphulula amalungu esini. Ukuba amaqabane aneesondo ezahlukeneyo zokuqhuba, okanye ukuba elinye iqabane linqwenela ukwabelana ngesondo rhoqo, kukangaphi na ukuba neentlobano zesini, ngokuchaseneyo, nezinye izinto zesondo? Imalunga nokufumana umhlaba ophakathi ukuze omabini amaqabane azive eviwa kwaye ahlonitshwe ngenxa yeminqweno yabo. Ukuba amaqabane angaxoxa ngezidingo zawo ngokungafihlisiyo nangokunyaniseka, kwaye bazibophelela ekufumaneni isivumelwano, banokugxila kancinci ekungahambelaneni kwabo ngokwesini, kwaye ngakumbi ekufumaneni imisebenzi yesondo eyanelisa bobabini. ”
4) Ukuguquguquka, intlonipho kunye nokwamkelwa Tweet oku
AMAZWE OXOLO, LMFT
Ingcali yezesondo eqinisekisiweyo
Izibini zihlala zijamelana nengxaki yokuba zenze ntoni xa zingahambelani ngesondo? Abanye abantu abatshatileyo badibanisa uluhlu (olubizwa ngokuba ziimenyu zesondo) zezinto abanokuthanda ukuzenza kwaye kangaphi, emva koko bathelekise amanqaku kunye. Umntu ngamnye unokulinganisela izinto ezikuluhlu lwabo obomvu, omthubi, oluhlaza ngokomnqweno wabo kunye nokuzimisela ukuzenza. Banokulinganisa amaxesha kunye nexesha losuku ngendlela efanayo, emva koko benze uluhlu lwezinto umntu ngamnye azinike ukukhanya okuluhlaza.
5) Omabini amaqabane kufuneka akulungele ukwenza iinzame Tweet oku
I-AVI KLEIN, iLCSW
Umsebenzi weNtlalontle
Isibini kufuneka sicinge ngumahluko phakathi kokuvulwa sele sikulungele ukuvulwa. Umtshato owahlukileyo we-libidos, okanye iqabane elisezantsi le-libido elingekakulungeli ukusondelelana kodwa elizimisele ukufika kuloo ndawo lenza ubhetyebhetye kubudlelwane. Kwangokunjalo, ndikhuthaza amaqabane aphezulu e-libido ukuba andise izimvo zabo malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini "ukusondelelana" - kufuneka kube sisenzo sesondo? Uthini ngokuwola, ukubambana ngezandla ebhedini nokuthetha, ukuba sesichengeni ngokwasemoyeni. Ukufumana iindlela zokuziva unxibelelana ezingekho nje malunga nesondo kunciphisa uxinzelelo oluvela kwizibini ezitshatileyo apho oku kuye kwabangela ukukhathazeka.
6) Indlela ye-3 yenyathelo lokudibanisa ukungahambelani ngokwesondo Tweet oku
UJAN WEINER, PH.D.
Ugqirha wezengqondo onelayisensi
Ukugcina into eyabelana ngesondo kubudlelwane bakho isempilweni kwaye uthintele ukwakheka kweemvakalelo ezingalunganga, (okt ukukhathazeka, ingqumbo, ityala, indelelo) xa unomahluko kwisini, nazi ezinye izinto onokuzenza malunga nendlela yokujongana nesondo udano:
- Ukudibana neqabane lakho malunga nokwabelana ngesondo rhoqo. Xa abantu abatshatileyo bejongana nokuqhuba ngesondo okwahlukileyo emtshatweni, umzekelo, ukuba elinye iqabane lithanda ukulala kanye ngenyanga, kwaye elinye lifuna ukwabelana ngesondo amaxesha ambalwa ngeveki, thethana ngesiqhelo (okt i-1x / iveki okanye amaxesha ama-4 ngenyanga).
- Ishedyuli ngesondo. Nangona ukucwangcisa ngesondo kunokubonakala kungangqinelani; ishedyuli yesini iqinisekisa iqabane eliphezulu lokuqhuba ukuba isondo liya kwenzeka. Ikwabonelela ngesiqinisekiso esisezantsi seqabane lokuqhuba ukuba isondo liya kwenzeka kuphela ngamaxesha abekiweyo. Oku kuhlala kunciphisa uxinzelelo / uxinzelelo lwamaqabane omabini.
- Yenza ixesha lokuhlangana okungathandani- ukukrwitshana, ukuncamisana, ukubambana ngezandla kuya kulwandisa ulwalamano phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo. Amaqabane ahlala onwabile ngakumbi xa esenza ixesha lokuchitha kunye kunye nokwenza ezi zinto zomzimba.
7) Vala umsantsa phakathi kwe-libidos ngokuzimisela Tweet oku
UIAN KERNER, PHD, LMFT
Umtshato kunye neNyanga yoSapho
Ayisiyongxaki yokuqhuba, kodwa kukuzimisela. Zimbini iintlobo zomnqweno: ezizenzekelayo neziphendulayo. Umnqweno wokuzenzekelayo luhlobo esivakalelwa ngalo xa sithandana kwaye sithabatheka ngomnye umntu; umnqweno wokuzenzekelayo yile nto siyibonayo kwimuvi: abantu ababini batshintshiselana ngokujonga ukufudumala kwigumbi kwaye emva koko bayawela ezingalweni zomnye nomnye, abakwazi nokwenza kwigumbi lokulala. Kodwa kubudlelwane bexesha elide, umnqweno wokuzenzekelayo uhlala utshintsha uye kumnqweno wokuphendula omnye okanye omabini amaqabane. Umnqweno wokuphendula uthetha kanye loo nto: umnqweno uphendula kwinto ezayo ngaphambi kwawo. Lo ngumbono oqinisekileyo, kuba uninzi lwethu ukuba asiziva sinomnqweno emva koko asizukulala ngesondo. Kodwa ukuba umnqweno awuzukuza kuqala kwimodeli yomnqweno ophendulayo, ngekhe ulalane. Usenokugqibela ngokuba luhlobo lomntu othi, “Ndifuna ukwabelana ngesondo, kodwa andifuni.” Kungenxa yoko le nto ingengomba wokuqhuba, kodwa wokuzimisela. Ukuba abantu ababini kubudlelwane bane-libidos engafaniyo, ayisiyiyo into yokubonakalisa umnqweno, kodwa endaweni yokwamkela loo mnqweno ayenzeki kodwa iyaphendula. Kwimodeli yeminqweno ephendulayo, into eza ngaphambi komnqweno kukuvuka (ngohlobo lokuchukumisa ngokwasemzimbeni, ukukhuthaza ngokwasemphefumlweni, kunye nokunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo) kwaye zeziphi ezona zibini zidingeka kakhulu kukulungela ukubonisa kunye nokuvelisa ukuvusa kunye, ngethemba kunye nokuqonda ukuba kuya kukhokelela ekuveleni komnqweno. Sifundisiwe ukuba siqale sizive sinqwenela kwaye emva koko sizivuse, kodwa eneneni, kufuneka sikuguqule oku kwaye siqale ngokuvelisa ukuvusa okuya kukhokelela kumnqweno. Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nihlangabezana nesithuba se-libido, ke yivaleni loo msantsa ngokuzimisela kwenu ”
8) Hlanganisa kwaye utshatise iminqweno yakho ukuze wonwabe ngobomi besiniTweet oku
UJANET ZINN, uLCSW
Ingcali yengqondo
Xa izibini zijongana nokungalingani ngokwesondo, ke bobabini abantu kufuneka babhale imenyu yesondo. Olu luluhlu lwawo onke amava ezesondo abangathanda ukwabelana ngawo neqabane labo okanye abanokonwabela bodwa. Umzekelo, kwiqabane elinye inokuba:
- Jonga indawo ezintsha ebhedini ngesondo
- Ukubukela imovie yokufundisa ngesondo kunye
- Ukuthenga evenkileni yokudlala ngesondo kunye
- Ukudlala indima
- Elinye iqabane linokuba:
- Ukuhamba ngesandla nangesandla xa siphuma
- Ukukhawulelana
- Ukucheba kunye ebhedini
Iminqweno ijongeka yahluke kakhulu, kodwa esi sibini sinokubona ukuba siyakwazi ukudibana embindini nabanye. Umzekelo, qala ngokuskipa ebhedini kwaye uhambe kancinci uye kwenye indawo. Jonga ukuba uziva njani. Okanye xa bephuma banokuhamba bebambene ngezandla, ingekuko ukulungiselela nantoni na eyenye, kodwa ngamava ayo. Mhlawumbi banokuya kwi-intanethi kunye ukuya kuthenga into yokudlala ngesondo enokuziva idlala. Abantu abatshatileyo bahlala becinga ukuba isini sisebenza kuphela endaweni yokuthandana. Ukwazi ukufumana iindlela zokubhenela kwiqabane ngalinye, esi sibini sakha ulwalamano lwaso ngokuhlonipha iyantlukwano, ngelixa lixabisa amaxesha enabelana ngawo ngokwesondo. Mhlawumbi oku kuya kwahluka kunokuba ubukulindele, kodwa kuya kuba nexabiso, nangona kunjalo.
9) Ukuzibophelela ngokupheleleyo ukubanika konke onokukunika Tweet oku
ICONSTANTINE KIPNIS
Ingcali yengqondo
Ukungahambelani kunjalo kungangqinelani. Kunzima ukukholelwa ukuba abantu ababini abafumanana benyanye ngokwasemzimbeni banokuyityeshela yonke imiqondiso abayithunyelwe ziipheromones zabo kwaye bahlale kunye ixesha elide ngokwaneleyo ukuba bazibuze ukuba bagcina njani ubudlelwane babo busempilweni.
Ubundlobongela kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kuhlala kudityaniswa kunye emva koko siye kwi-litany yesiqhelo, "Ndifuna ukulala ngesondo yonke imihla kwaye uyayifuna kube kanye ngeveki"
Siyijonga njani impumelelo? Ii-Orgasms ngexesha ngalinye? Ipesenti yexesha elichithwe kwi-postcoital bliss? Ipesenti yexesha elichithwe kuhlobo oluthile lokunxibelelana ngokwesondo?
Kungenzeka ukuba endaweni yokulinganisa impumelelo, silinganise ukukhathazeka. Njengokungena, ndiyamfikelela kwaye uyabuya umva. Ndimjongile akafiki apha.
Mhlawumbi ingxaki ikukuba kukho umlinganiso oqhubekayo. Ukuba umnika ingqwalaselo yakhe kwaye uyamphulula kwaye, ngaphandle kwempembelelo kuye, yena ngokwakhe ulandela nje indlela ayiphindaphinda ngayo, emva koko unokuziva ethe chu ukuthandana.
Umbuzo osisiseko awukho malunga nokuqhuba ngesondo okuhambelanayo kodwa malunga neendawo ezifanelekileyo: kutheni ukuzibophelela emntwini ukuba awuzinikelanga ngokupheleleyo ekubanikeni konke onakho ukubanika, ungayeki de umamkeli lowo abonakalise ukuba uphilile kwaye wanelisekile?
10) Unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo Tweet oku
ZOE O. ENTIN, LCSW
Ingcali yengqondo
Unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo nolunyanisekileyo ngundoqo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda iimfuno zomnye nomnye kunye nokusikelwa umda ukuze uthethathethwano ngentlonipho malunga nobomi besondo obusebenzela amaqabane omabini. Ukwenza imenyu yokwabelana ngesondo kunokunceda ekuvuleni amathuba amatsha. Ukongeza, ukubona ugqirha wezesondo oqinisekisiweyo kunokuba luncedo.
11) Ukuqhuba ngesondo kunokutshintshwa Tweet oku
UADAM J. BIEC, LMHC
Umcebisi kunye nengcali yengqondo
Oku kuxhomekeke kwisibini kwaye kunzima ukunika isisombululo "ubungakanani obulodwa bonke". Ibangela njani ingxaki kwesi sibini? Ingxaki kabani le? Ngaba ngabafazi abaxhatshazwayo ngokwesini kubudlelwane? Mingaphi amaqabane? Ngaba sithetha ngemeko ecekethekileyo apho elinye iqabane likhathazeka ngokwesondo? Ngaba iqabane elisezantsi lokuqhuba ngesondo likulungele ukuzibandakanya kwezinye izinto zesondo? Ngaba iqabane eliphezulu lokuqhuba ngesondo livulekile kwezi ndlela zimbi? Ngaba isini simele ntoni kumaqabane omabini? Ngaba zikhona iindlela ezizezinye ezinokuthi zaneliswe zizinto ezenzelwe isini kubo? Okokugqibela, ukuqhuba ngesondo kwinqanaba elithile kuyatshintsha. Inye into ebonakalayo kukufuna iindlela zokuzisa i-libido ephantsi. Nangona kunjalo, sinokufumana iindlela zokuzisa i-libido ephezulu. Umzekelo, kwezinye iimeko, umntu ophakamileyo we-libido ubonakalisa into kwiqabane lakhe ngesondo. Ukuba sinokufumanisa ukuba yintoni leyo, kwaye sifumane ezinye iindlela zokuyichaza, sinokuhlisa ukungxamiseka / uxinzelelo emva kwesondo. Ukuqhuba ngesondo nako kunokuba yinto "yokuyisebenzisa okanye yokuphulukana nayo". Isini esiphakamileyo siqhuba iminqweno yomntu inokuthi yehle kancinci emva kokwenza injongo yabo yokunciphisa imisebenzi yabo yezesondo ngokubanzi (kodwa iya kuhlala ithambekele ekubuyiseleni umva). Oku akukho lula ukuyenza kuba isenzo sesondo sihlala silukiwe kwimikhwa yabantu abaqhuba ngesondo. Inokuba luncedo, nangona kunjalo.
12) Ubudlelwane obusempilweni ngokwesondo bufuna umdla, ukuzimisela, kunye nokunxibelelana Tweet oku
I-ANTONIETA CONTRERAS, i-LCSW
Umsebenzi weNtlalontle
Ngaba ikhona into enje ngokuba "ayihambelani" ngesondo? Isibini sinokungafani kwinqanaba labo le-libido, ulindelo, kunye nokukhetha, kodwa ngokoluvo lwam, oko akuthethi ukuba abanakho ukungahambelani ngokwesondo. Njengomphathiswa wezesondo, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba xa kukho umdla, ukuzimisela, kunye nokunxibelelana phakathi kwabantu ababini, ubudlelwane bezesondo obuphilileyo phakathi kwabo ngumcimbi wokufunda malunga nokunye, ukunxibelelana ngeemfuno, ukusebenza kunye ekufumaneni okungahambiyo, kuyilo ukuyila “ukuhambelana” kwazo Ukusebenza kunye ekuphuhliseni iimenyu ezingamanyala (ezivulekileyo njengokuguquguqukayo njengoko kufuneka zibenjalo) phantse rhoqo zitshise inkanuko yesini kunye nokuphucula ubomi babo ngokwesondo.
13) Yiba nolindelo lokwenyani kwaye uhlale uvulekile ukuzama izinto ezintsha Tweet oku
LAUREN EAVARONE
Isibini ngonyango
Inyathelo lokuqala kukugcina engqondweni ukuba akukho qabane liphosakeleyo malunga nendlela abaqhele ngayo okanye ngokufuthi ukuba banqwenela isondo. Ukubeka ulindelo kubudlelwane ukuba ngenxa yokuba abantu ababini bevuselelana ngokwengqondo nangokweemvakalelo ukuba nabo 'kufanelekile' ukuba bafune izinto ezifanayo ngokwesondo kunokuba nefuthe elibi kwintlalo. Funa umcebisi wesibini ojolise kwezesondo ukunceda ekuchongeni nasekuhlaziyeni ubugqwetha bokuqonda kubandakanya- Ingcali sisixhobo esikhulu sokunceda izibini ukuba ziye kwisivumelwano kwinto yokuba ubomi besondo obonwabileyo nobusempilweni bujongeka njani kubudlelwane babo obungafaniyo. Musa ukoyika ukuphonononga isini sakho kunye ukuze wenze olwakho uthando ulwimi. Isalathiso esincinci sihamba umgama omde, ke gcinani engqondweni izibonelelo zokuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo xa iqabane lakho likukholisa ngendlela ofuna ukuyikhuthaza kwikamva. Ubomi obonelisayo besini buqala kakhulu kwaye buphela ngokulalanisa. Oku kunokubandakanya iqabane elinye elabelana ngesondo nokuba alikho kwiimvakalelo okanye elinye lisebenzisa ukuphulula amalungu esini njengendlela yokwandisa indlala yabo yesondo. Ukuzibandakanya kwisenzo esitsha sesondo kunye kunokubangela ukuba kudlule amava ngaphambili, okanye umgama olula unokwenza iqhinga.
14) Fumana uncedo Tweet oku
URAKEL HERCMAN, LCSW
Umsebenzi weKlinikhi
'Uthando luyoyisa zonke' izandi ezimnandi nezilula, kodwa inyani kukuba nezibini ezithandanayo kakhulu zinokulwa nokuba nobomi obuphilileyo besini. Ekuqaleni, intsha kunye nenoveli, kodwa isondo kubudlelwane bexesha elide yibhola ekhatywayo eyahlukileyo. Ukuqhuba ngesondo kuchatshazelwa zizinto zonyango, ezengqondo, ezemvakalelo, kunye nabantu, ke kuyanceda ukufumana uvavanyo olubanzi lokulawula izizathu ezinokubakho kunye nokuphononongwa kwonyango.
15) Vuleleka malunga nokungaqiniseki kwaye nakhane Tweet oku
UCARRIE WHITTAKER, LMHC, LPC, PhD (abd)
UMcebisi
Unxibelelwano luyinto yonke. Ukwabelana ngesondo yinto enzima kwizibini ezininzi ukuthetha ngazo. Ukuziva ungonelisekanga ngokwesini kunokudala imeko yokungazithembi kunye neentloni, bobabini buqu nakulwalamano. Abantu abatshatileyo kufuneka banxibelelane ngokuphandle malunga nokuba isini sithetha ntoni kwiqabane ngalinye kwaye basombulule uloyiko lwabo malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphandle kokuvumelanisa. Qaphela ukuba ulwalamano ngalunye luneemfuno ezahlukileyo zokusondelelana kwaye akukho "siqhelo." Vulelani ukungazithembi kwaye nakhane endaweni yokugxila kwinto engasebenziyo.
16) Iindlela ezi-3 zokuhamba ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zesini zokuhamba ngokuhamba ngokutyibilikayo Tweet oku
SOPHIE KAY, MA, uMhleli.M.
Ugqirha
Masijongane nayo. Wena neqabane lakho aninakuhlala nilingana kwisebe lezesondo, nangona kunjalo, kukho iindlela zokulungisa ukungalingani ngaphandle kokucinga ngokushiya inqanawa. Nantsi indlela:
- Thetha ngayo. Ukucela iimfuno zesondo kunye neminqweno yokudibana kuyasebenza ngakumbi kunokukhalaza malunga nesondo kubudlelwane bakho.
- Chitha ixesha kuyo. Yenza ixesha ngeveki ukwenza umzamo odibeneyo wokuchitha ixesha elifanelekileyo kunye neqabane lakho.
- Ukuba wena kunye ne-libidos yeqabane lakho awusoloko uvumelanisa, emva koko ungajongana njani ne-libidos ezahlukeneyo? Sebenza, sebenza, sebenza kuyo. Ulungelelwaniso luyimfuneko ukuze kugcinwe ubudlelwane obunempilo. Kukho umthambo osondeleyo onokuwenza ongakhokeleliyo ekulalaneni kodwa ungonelisa ukungahambelani ngesondo ngokungafanelekanga.
17) Amaqabane kufuneka athembeke malunga nento ayifunayo Tweet oku
UDOUGLAS C. IINCWADI, MS, LCSW-Rfe
Ugqirha
Unxibelelwano ngundoqo. Abantu abatshatileyo kufuneka bazive bekhululekile ukuthetha malunga nokuqhuba kwabo ngokwesondo, izinto abazithandayo, abangazithandiyo kunye nendlela abafuna ukukhula ngayo ubudlelwane babo. Ngokumalunga nokuqhuba kwabo ngesondo, izibini kufuneka zithembeke kwinto nganye eziyifunayo (kwaye kaninzi kangakanani) kwaye zilindele ntoni komnye nomnye. Ukuba omnye une-drive enye engenakho okanye engafuniyo ukuhlangabezana nayo, ukuphulula amalungu esini sisisombululo esilungileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ndihlala ndityhala abathengi bam ukuba bangaze balibale malunga nokusondelelana. Kwaye ngumbuzo wonyango. Ukuba nesondo kakhulu okanye okuncinci kakhulu kuhlala kukhokelela ekuziphatheni okungalunganga. Abantu kufuneka bazive bexabisekile kwaye bekhululekile kunye neqabane labo.
18) Zama ukufikelela kwingcambu yengxaki Tweet oku
J. RYAN UMFUMISI, PH.D.
Ingcali yeengqondo
Ke, ungajongana njani neendlela ezahlukeneyo zesini kubudlelwane?
Xa izibini zijongana nokungalingani ngokwesondo emtshatweni, ndiyagxininisa ukunika iqabane ngalinye izakhono zekhonkrithi zokujongana nomcimbi, kubandakanya indlela: yokulawula iimvakalelo zabo, ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo, kunye nokusombulula ingxaki ngokusebenzisana. Kumava am, ukuthintela umba kukhokelela kuphela kwisimo esisesona silungileyo, kunye nobundlongondlongo obuqhelekileyo, ubutshaba obuvulekileyo, okanye umgama. Kodwa uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo abayazi indlela yokuhambisa izinto phambili, ngakumbi xa kufikwa kumba onje.
Ndineqabane ngalinye elichaza indlela abavakalelwa ngayo malunga nobomi babo ngokwesondo, intsingiselo eyenzekayo, kwaye umntu ngamnye uya kufuna ntoni onokuphucula indlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngokusondeleyo nangokwabelana ngesondo, ngothando nangokomzwelo.
Ngelixa sisebenza kule micimbi, kunokwenzeka ukuba siqale ukuqonda ukuba yeyiphi eminye imiba ebalulekileyo yobudlelwane babo kunye nobomi babo bobuqu amandla, kwaye banokwakhelwa phezu kwayo, kwaye apho ubuthathaka kunye nokusilela khona. Emva koko sinokusebenza ngokugqibeleleyo kubudlelwane, siphucule ngokugqibeleleyo ubudlelwane.
19) Ukulinga kunye neendawo ezintsha zokudlala kunokunceda ukuvala umsantsa Tweet oku
JOR-EL CARABALLO, LMHC
UMcebisi
Xa amaqabane engahambelani ngesondo, kunokuba nzima ukugcina ubudlelwane bezesondo obuphilileyo buphila. Ukuthetha ngokungafihlisiyo omnye komnye, nokuba uzimele okanye ugqirha onelayisensi, kunokuba luncedo ekuchongeni izisombululo ezinokubakho zokungahambelani ngokwesondo. Ngamanye amaxesha ulingo kunye neendawo ezintsha zokudlala zinokunceda ukuvala umsantsa, ngakumbi xa udityaniswe nemfesane kunye nokumamela ngokukuko.
20) Ii-3 Cs: Unxibelelwano, ubuGcisa, kunye neMvume Tweet oku
UDULCINEA PITAGORA, MA, LMSW, MED, CST
Ingcali yengqondo kunye noNyango lwezoSondo
I-IQ yelizwe lethu yezesondo iphantsi nge-avareji kuba sifundisiwe ukunqanda ukuthetha ngesondo, kwaye ukungangqinelani ngokwesini kuhlala kungabikho kolwazi kunye nemvume ecacileyo. Unyango: iingxoxo ezicacileyo, eziqhubekayo kwimeko yokungathathi hlangothi malunga neengcinga, ukhetho, kunye negalelo kunye nokunciphisa ukuvusa inkanuko.
21) Ukulalanisa yimpendulo Tweet oku
JACQUELINE DONELLI, LMHC
Ingcali yengqondo
Ndihlala ndifumana izibini ezonwabileyo ngokwesondo kubudlelwane okanye zijongane nokungahambelani ngokwesondo. Uziva ngathi uyibhere ehlafuna kuwe. Uzenza ngathi ulele, uqaqanjelwa yintloko, "awuziva mnandi,". Ndiyayifumana. Nguye soze wanelisekile ngokwaneleyo. Wena nje uyenzile ngeCawe kwaye kungoLwesibini.
Ngu njalo udiniwe, akandichukumisi, undenza ndilinde iintsuku ngaphambi kokuba alale nam. Ndicinga ukuba akasandithandi.
Ndiyivile yonke. Kwaye niyalungisa nobabini. Kwaye lo ngumba. Ngoba?
Kubonakala ngathi ukulalanisa yeyona mpendulo ilungileyo, kwaye nangaphezulu, lunxibelelwano. Nangona ugoba ngencwadi emnandi yesandi, kufuneka unike i-darn. Ayisiyiyo yonke imihla, ngaphezulu nje kube kanye ngenyanga. Ngokufanayo, i-hornier yezi zimbini kufuneka mamela kwiimfuno zelinye iqabane, ngokwesondo. Fumanisa ukuba yintoni ehambisa i-injini yakhe (uyayithanda iithoyi, uyathetha, uhlikihla ukukhanya, iphonografi ...). Kwaye kancinci kancinci sebenzela ukukholisa loo mntu kuqala. Kungenxa yokuba baziva oko baziva kwaye becenga akuyiyo impendulo.
22) Fumana ezinye iindlela zenyama zokunxibelelana neqabane lakho Tweet oku
ZELIK MINTZ, LCSW, LP
Ingcali yengqondo
Ukungahambelani ngokwesondo kuhlala kubangela ukuba kuqhawuke ulwalamano kubudlelwane. Ukuphuhlisa kunye nokuvula into ethathwa njengokulalana phakathi kwabantu ababini kunokuzisa ukubonwa komzimba kwaye kuchaze kwakhona okungokwasemzimbeni, okwenyama kunye nokwabelana ngesondo. Indawo yokuqala kukuzama ngeendlela ezingezizo ezokwenyama zokunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni ngaphandle koxinzelelo lwesondo okanye i-orgasm.