Umxholo
- Luyintoni ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo?
- Kutheni kubalulekile ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni?
- Ungalwakha njani ulwalamano olusenyongweni kubudlelwane bakho
- 1. Thembela kwiqabane lakho ngaphandle kokugoduka
- 2. Yazi ukuba kutheni ulapha, kulo mhlaba, kunye nalo mntu uthile
- 3. Cinga ngendlela eyakhayo
- 4. Yiba kulo mzuzu
- Njengoko u-Oprah esitsho, yiba ngowakho ozithandayo
Ubudlelwane obukhulu yi-alchemy yezinto ezininzi, phakathi kwazo ikhemesti elungileyo yesini, unxibelelwano olugqwesileyo phakathi kwaba bantu babini babandakanyekayo, ukusebenzisana, kunye nokuziva usondelelana ngokweemvakalelo.
Eyokuqala ihlala ilula ukuyigcina, ngakumbi kwiminyaka yokuqala yobudlelwane xa isondo lisandul 'ukutsha, kuyonwabisa kwaye isibini esonwabileyo sifunda ukuba umzimba womnye nomnye usebenza kwaye uphendula njani. Okwesibini, unxibelelwano, kunokuba nzima ukulomeleza ngamanye amaxesha emtshatweni, ngakumbi xa ujongene nobunzima, kodwa izibini ezisebenza ngokudibanisa iindlela zonxibelelwano ezifanelekileyo zifumanisa ukuba oku kunegalelo kulonwabo lwabo. Ukusebenzisana njengabantu ababini, nokuba kukhulisa abantwana okanye kujongwana nemithetho, yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokugcina umtshato wakho wonwabile. Kodwa into yesine-ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo-oko kuthetha ntoni kanye? Zininzi iincwadi ezipapashiweyo malunga nokuba neentlobano zesini ezilungileyo, indlela yokuphucula izakhono zakho zonxibelelwano kunye nokusebenza njengeqela, kodwa ngaba ukhona umntu owake wabhala i-Emotional Intimacy Book?
Luyintoni ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo?
Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kuyimveliso yobuchule beemvakalelo. Esi sisakhono sokuchonga kunye nokunxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho kunye neqabane lakho kwaye wamkele ekuchongeni nasekumameleni kwiqabane lakho xa livakalisa imeko yalo yeemvakalelo kunye nawe.
Kutheni kubalulekile ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni?
Ngaphandle konxibelelwano olunzulu lweemvakalelo, esi sibini asigqibelelanga kwaye ngekhe sihlale kunye ixesha elide. Ukwabelana ngesondo ngokulungileyo kungabamba ubudlelwane kunye ixesha elide. Kufuneka kubekho isiseko sokutshintshiselana ngokweemvakalelo ukuze isibini sikhule kunye, sazane ngokupheleleyo, kwaye sivumelene omnye nomnye isithuba sokubonisa ukuba sesichengeni ngaphandle koloyiko lokugxekwa okanye ukuhlazeka. Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kuvumela isibini ukuba sibe yinyani ye-100% omnye komnye, kwaye siziva sithandwa kwaye sikhuselekile.
Ungalwakha njani ulwalamano olusenyongweni kubudlelwane bakho
Abasetyhini babonwa njengabesini "esinemvakalelo" ngakumbi kwaye abangcono ekuboniseni iimvakalelo. Ngabanakekeli, bamamela ngomonde xa umntwana efumana usuku olubi okanye uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo. Basebenza ukukhupha iimvakalelo kumaqabane abo ukuba ayingomntu uveza iimvakalelo ngokwendalo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba isibini sisebenze kwinqanaba elisempilweni, ayinakuba kuphela libhinqa elisebenza ngokubonakalayo lisondelelene ngokweemvakalelo. Xa oku kunjalo, umphumo wokugqibela uya kuba yinzondo kunye nomsindo, uluvo lokuba kuphela liqabane elinye elenza konke ukuphakamisa okunzima ukwandisa uxhulumaniso lweemvakalelo kwesi sibini. Kubalulekile ukuba omabini amaqabane atyalwe ekwabelaneni ngokwasemphefumlweni kunye nokumamela ngenyameko xa omnye evakalisa iimvakalelo zabo.
Ukuba umntu ebenokubhala iNcwadi yokuSondelelana ngokweemvakalelo, inokubandakanya oku kulandelayo:
1. Thembela kwiqabane lakho ngaphandle kokugoduka
Ayithandeki into yokuba olona lwalamano lubalulekileyo- umtshato wakho- kufuneka wakhelwe kwisiseko sokuthembana okupheleleyo. Ngaphandle kokuthembana okunzulu, awunakuba nakho ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuba ufihla izinto kwiqabane lakho, njengezinto ezithandanayo (kwi-Intanethi okanye kubomi bokwenyani), akunakwenzeka ukuba ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kuthathe ingcambu kwaye kukhule. Isakhono sokuthemba iqabane lakho ngokupheleleyo, kwaye naye akuthembele, kuyafuneka ukondla ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kwaye ukuvumele ukuba kukhule phakathi kwakho.
2. Yazi ukuba kutheni ulapha, kulo mhlaba, kunye nalo mntu uthile
Ngamnye wenu unomdla kunye neenkolelo malunga nento ezisa intsingiselo ebomini bakho. Njengoko wabelana ngezi zinto, wakhe ubudlelwane kunye neqabane lakho. Xa nobabini nithatha ingubo yothando lwenu, ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kuyanda. Udityaniswe nomsebenzi wakho oqhelekileyo wokufikelela ngaphandle kwaye nibe negalelo kwinto enkulu kunawe.
Chonga into oyithandayo. Inokuba yinto efana nokusindisa iplanethi. Thatha isigqibo somsebenzi onokuwenza kunye ukwenza igalelo ekufezekiseni loo njongo. Imizekelo inokuba yeyokuzithandela kunye kwiziko lokurisayikilisha okanye ukuya kwisikolo sakho esikufutshane kunye ukuya kwenza umasifundisane nabafundi ngeendlela abanokunceda ngazo ukusindisa iplanethi.
Xa ukuthanda kwakho kubhangqiwe nomntu onomdla ngaye, inqanaba lokuzinikela kwakho kubudlelwane bakho liyanzulu, kwaye inqanaba lokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane bakho liya kwanda.
3. Cinga ngendlela eyakhayo
Yiyeke imfuneko yokuba ilunge, isidingo sokuxelela iqabane lakho ukuba lenzeni, isidingo sokubonisa iimpazamo kunye nokusilela kwakhe, kunye nesidingo sokugcina amanqaku. Ukususa olu thintelo lusondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo kuya kukhokelela kwiimvakalelo ezakhayo, ezixhasayo, kunye nobubele ukunika iqabane lakho.
Iqabane lakho, ewe, liya kwenza izinto ezikucaphukisayo. Ziqhelise ukuxolela, kwaye ubonakalise ukuba impendulo yakho inokuba yintoni kwindlela aziphethe ngayo. Ngaba ukuyikhomba kuyamenzakalisa? Ngaba ikhona indlela yokuba usombulule ukukhathazeka ngaphandle kokumsola, ngokusebenzisa, umzekelo, umyalezo othi "Ndi"? Ngaba unokucinga ngokuvumela ukucaphuka kuqhubeke ngaphandle kokuthetha ngako?
4. Yiba kulo mzuzu
Enye yeendlela ezilula zokwandisa ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo neqabane lakho kukuqaqambisa ingqalelo yakho kuye xa ethetha nawe. Beka phantsi ifowuni yakho, yeka ukuchwetheza kwikhompyuter. Ukuba umile esinkini uhlamba izitya, yima, ujike umzimba wakho uye kuye, umjonge emehlweni ngelixa umamele. Uya kumangaliswa yindlela esondela ngayo le nto incinci.
Njengoko u-Oprah esitsho, yiba ngowakho ozithandayo
Ziqhelanise nenqanaba eliphezulu lokuzinakekela ngokubhekisele kwimpilo yakho yeemvakalelo. Ukuba unengxaki yokubonisa iimvakalelo zakho ngendlela elungileyo okanye awuqinisekanga ngeendlela ezifanelekileyo zokwenza oku, tyala imali kwiiseshoni ezimbalwa kunye nomcebisi oyingcali onokukunika izimvo ezithile. Ukuhambisa amandla akho ukuba ube ngowona mntu ubalaseleyo kwaye uya kuba nakho nangakumbi amandla okwandisa ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane bakho.