Umxholo
Cinga ngesibini osithandayo. Uyazi, abantu ababini onokuthi ubabhekise njenge "it" ebomini bakho.
Isenokuba ngabazali bakho, wena kunye neqabane lakho, okanye isibini esintsomi esivela kwimovie oyithandayo. Yintoni ebenza babalasele? Ngaba yi-banter yabo? Unxibelelwano lwabo? Uthando lwabo omnye komnye?
Ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukuphawula ukuba yintoni kanye kanye eyenza ukuba ezi zibini zibe "zizo" ezingqondweni zethu, kodwa siyazi ukuba kukho into ekhethekileyo ngazo.
Into ekhethekileyo inokwenzeka ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Ukubeka ngokulula, ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo yindlela abantu abasondeleleneyo abasondelelene ngayo kwiimvakalelo zabo. Xa ubabukele bencokola kubonakala kunzima. Xa ubabukele benxibelelana, kufana nokuba akukho mntu ubajongileyo. Zifana neemagnethi ezitsaliwe, kwaye amandla azisondeleyo kukudibana kwazo ngokweemvakalelo.
Kukhulu ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo, kokukhona ubudlelwane kunye nomtshato ziya kuzaliseka. Ngale nto ithethwayo, unokuba nengxaki yokuchaza iimpawu zesibini esithandanayo ngokweemvakalelo. Uyazi ukuba yile nto uyifunayo, kodwa awuqinisekanga ukuba uyenza njani ebomini bakho nakubudlelwane.
Intsalela yeli nqaku iza kunikezelwa ekuchongeni le mizekelo iyimizekelo yezibini ezisondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo. Siza kungena ngokujongeka njengokujonga kwaye emva koko uzenzele njani.
1. Ukungafihli
Izibini ezisondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo zivulekile kwaye zisengozini komnye nomnye. Akukho zithintelo banyanzela amaqabane abo ukuba aphumelele; banikela ngentliziyo nomphefumlo wabo omnye komnye ngaphandle kokuthandabuza. Oku kungathatha ixesha ukumisela, kuba phantse wonke umntu ungena kubudlelwane noonogada ngenxa yamava adlulileyo. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, nangona kunjalo, loo mlindi uyehla kwaye umntu onobudlelwane obusondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo uvumela iqabane lakhe ukuba libe nakho ukufikelela kubo bonke.
Ukwenza imeko yokuba sesichengeni kwaye ivuleke kubudlelwane bakho, kuya kufuneka ukhokele ngomzekelo. Ukuze iqabane lakho likwazi ukuvula iintliziyo zalo kuwe, kufuneka unikezele ngesiqwenga esikhulu sakho. Iya kubabonisa ukuba uzimisele ukuzibeka phaya, nokuba oko kuthetha ukwenzakala. Awuyi kuva kunxibelelwano olunzulu olunokwenzeka ngaphandle kokubeka esichengeni intliziyo yakho kunye nomphefumlo. Ngokugcina unonophelo lwakho, unokuzikhusela, kodwa awuzange uvumele iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho kwilizwe lakho. Isibini esisondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo sibeka olo khuseleko phantsi kwaye sivumele amaqabane abo ukuba ababone kweyona fomu yabo iluhlaza.
2. Ukunyaniseka nemfesane
Ukuvuleleka kunokuza kuphela ngokunyaniseka kubudlelwane. Isibini esithi "it" obenombono waso ekuqaleni kweli nqaku sikufundile oko ethubeni. Xa bethetha bodwa, benza njalo ngeentliziyo ezinovelwano, kodwa ngolwimi olunyanisekileyo. Kukho iinyaniso ezinobungqingili ezifuna ukuthethwa, kodwa zinokuthiwa ngohlobo lokuba zingamtyumzi omnye umntu. Ekuphela kwendlela yokusondela, kunye nokukhuthaza ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo, kukunyaniseka omnye komnye.
Ukwenza incoko ethembekileyo kunye nemfesane kunye neqabane lakho, kuya kufuneka ukhokele ngaphambili. Ukuba uziva ngathi wena neqabane lakho nibe nigcinene izinto omnye komnye-nokuba kukugcina omnye okwethutyana kwiintlungu-baxelele ukuba uqaphele. Babonise imfesane yakho ngelixa uthembekile ekuqwalaseleni. Ukungena egumbini ngoxinzelelo kunye nobushushu ngekhe kuvumele ukunyaniseka kuphumelele. Vela kwindawo enovelwano nemfesane kwaye uya kuzifumanisa usondela kwincoko nganye.
3. Ukubamba ngokwasemzimbeni
Nangona isiqwenga somtshato sinobuhlobo bobuhlobo obusondeleyo, kubalulekile ukuqaqambisa ubungakanani bochukumiso kuhanjiso lweemvakalelo. Ukuchukumisa okulula kunokuthetha yonke into kwaye kunxibelelane ngemvakalelo eninzi. Ukuba ungumfazi, unako zive amagama athi "Ndiyakuthanda" xa umyeni wakho edlala ngeenwele zakho. Ukuba uyindoda, unako zive la magama afanayo xa umfazi wakho ethatha ixesha lokukunika irabha yomvuzo oyifumene kakuhle. Unxibelelwano ayisiyonto edlula nje kwimilebe yakho; izibini ezisondeleleneyo zisebenzisa imizimba yazo ukwazisa amaqabane abo ukuba baziva njani ngabo.
Ukuzisa ulwalamano olusondeleyo ngakumbi kulwalamano lwakho, qalisa ukuba nenjongo ngakumbi malunga nendlela oyisebenzisa ngayo kubudlelwane bakho. Ungacingi ukuba ukubamba kwakho ngokwasemzimbeni kuya kuhlala kwigumbi lokulala. Banikane ngakumbi, babambane 'ngezandla, okanye ulikruqule iqabane lakho ukuba ithuba livela. Zininzi iimvakalelo ezinokupakishwa kunxibelelwano olunentsingiselo. Sukuvumela elo thuba lokusondela liye kutshabalalisa.
4. Ukuxolela
Izibini ezenza ezinde kwaye zithande ezona zinzulu ngabo banokuxolela, kwaye benze njalo ngokwenyani. Ukutshata nomntu kukuzinikela ubomi bakho bonke kwaye abantu bazakwenza iimpazamo. Njengabantu, asifezekanga. Kuza nje nommandla. Ukuze isibini sigcine ubudlelwane baso ngokweemvakalelo, apho kufuneka uxolelwe ngokudlala. Ukuba abaze baxolelane, oko kungadala umgama nengqumbo phakathi kwabo.
Njengoninzi lwezi mpawu kunye nemizekelo yokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo, ukuxolelwa kufuneka kumodareyithwe ngaphambi kokuba iqabane lakho lingene ebhodini. Baxolele ngento obukade uyibambele ingqumbo. Vumela ingqumbo ivele emagxeni akho kwaye uzivulele iqabane lakho njengokuba ungazange ngaphambili. Babonise ukuba baxolelwe, kwaye ngokuziva ukuba ubunzima bususwe emagxeni abo, baya kuba nakho ukuxolela.
Thatha le mizekelo xa usiya kwindlela ende yomtshato. Sonke sinqwenela ukuba "sisibini" esikubonileyo kumabonwakude okanye esinamava kusapho lwethu kunye nabahlobo. Ukuze ube nolwalamano olunamaphupha, kuya kufuneka ulwele ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Ukusondela kwakho kwiqabane lakho, kokukhona uya kuziva uthando kwaye kuya kuhlala ixesha elide.
Nantsi ke "kuyo" izibini zehlabathi, zisibonisa indlela yokuba ngabantu abangcono kunye namaqabane angcono.