Umxholo
Kwincwadi yam yamva, Umtshato nobudlelwane Junkie, ndijongana nemicimbi yokwenyani ngothando lweziyobisi. Le ncwadi ibhalwe ngokwembono yomntu ngamnye ejonge ngasemva ebomini bam, nangokwindlela enokusetyenziswa ngabo basokoliswa luthando.
Ngelixa ndisebenza nabaxhasi abanothando lweziyobisi, ndikwaqeqesha abantu abaninzi abanemicimbi yokuxhomekeka. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu basebenzisa la magama mabini ngokungafaniyo, kodwa kukho umahluko.
Ukwazi umahluko kunokukunceda ufumane umqeqeshi onamava onokuqonda noqeqesho oluyimfuneko ukuze akwazi ukukuxhasa kuhambo lwakho lokoyisa nayiphi na le micimbi.
Uthando lweziyobisi
Cinga ngalo naluphi na uhlobo lomlutha njengokujolisa ngokukodwa.
Utywala kukujolisa ekusebenziseni utywala obunobungozi, iziyobisi kukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, kunye nothando lweziyobisi yimfuneko yokuba sithandweni. Kukulutha kwiimvakalelo zokuba usemathandweni, olo luthando lunamandla kunye nemvakalelo yokuzibophelela yokutya ubunye eyenzeka ekuqaleni kobudlelwane.
Umlutha wothando uzama ukuba neemvakalelo eziphakamileyo, bafuna ukuziva bethandwa, kwaye bahlala bephendula kumaqabane angalunganga okanye ahluphekileyo njengendlela yokufumana imvakalelo.
Uthando lweziyobisi aluchaphazeli isifo esithile sengqondo ngeli xesha.
Nangona kunjalo, kuphando lwakutsha nje olwenziwe nguBrian D. Earp nabanye kwaye lwapapashwa kwiFilosofi, iPsychiatry kunye nePsychology ngo-2017, ikhonkco phakathi kotshintsho kwiikhemikhali zobuchopho kunye nokuziphatha okulandelayo kwabo bathandanayo kufunyanwa kufana noko kubonwa kwezinye Iindidi zeziyobisi ezaziwayo.
Umlutha wothando uhlala ucinga kakhulu kubudlelwane kunomnye umntu. Kukwanokwenzeka ukuba babambelele kulwalamano, njengoko uloyiko lokuba wedwa okanye ukungathandwa luyinyani kwaye lubuhlungu.
Iimpawu zothando lweziyobisi
- Ukuhlala nomntu ukuphepha ukuba yedwa
- Ukuhlala sohlukana kwaye ubuyela kwakulo mntu mnye
- Isidingo sokuziva sinovakalelo olunzulu kunye neqabane
- Uvakalelo olugqithisileyo lokonwaba kunye nolwaneliseko ekunxibelelaneni kwakhona emva kokwahlukana okukhawuleza kuphele
- Ukuzimisela ukuhlala neqabane ukunqanda ukuba wedwa
- Iingcinga eziqhubekayo malunga nolwalamano olugqibeleleyo okanye iqabane elifanelekileyo
Ukuxhomekeka
Ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kukoyika ukuba wedwa, kodwa kukho umahluko.
Ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi ngumntu ongaziboniyo ngaphandle kobudlelwane nomnye umntu, enika konke kwiqabane.
IiCodependents zihlala zakha ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissists, abakulungeleyo ukuthatha yonke into enikwa ngomnye umntu.
Ukuxhomekeka kweCodod kubandakanya ukungabikho kwemida kwaye akukho kubanakho ukuzifumana uxabisekile ngaphandle kokulungisa okanye ukukholisa abanye abantu, nokuba abaziwa okanye baphathwe kakubi.
Umntu oxhomekekileyo uya kuhlala kubudlelwane obonzakalisa ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye angahlala kubudlelwane obuyingozi nobomzimba.
Iimpawu zokuxhomekeka kwekhowudi
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kugqugqisile
- Isidingo sokuhlala usenza izinto ukukholisa iqabane, nokuba ayisiyiyo le nto ufuna ukuyenza
- Uloyiko lokuba wedwa kunye nokungakwazi ukufumana elinye iqabane
- Ukuhlala kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo kunokuba ube wedwa
- Ukujolisa kwiimpazamo kunye neempazamo kunye nokubeka imigangatho yokufezekisa ngokwakho
- Ukuphika iimfuno zakho njengenxalenye yendlela yokuziphatha
- Ungaze uzive ngathi wenza okwaneleyo kwiqabane
- Ukufumana isidingo sokulungisa okanye ukulawula abantu
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba nabani na unokujongana nemicimbi yothando lweziyobisi okanye ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi, kodwa kunzima kakhulu ukwenza oku ngokwakho. Kwindlela yam yokuqeqesha, ndisebenza kunye nabaxhasi, ndibanceda ukuba benze indlela elungileyo yokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo kunye nokufumana ubudlelwane obunempilo ebomini babo.