Umxholo
- Ingxaki yokwenyani ye-narcissist-ubuntu
- Uyintoni umzali we-narcissist?
- Ngaba ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana kunye ne-narcissist kunokwenzeka?
- Iindlela zokujongana nomzali osebenza narcissist
Ukuba nosapho olupheleleyo yinto ekwakukudala siphupha ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, zinokubakho iimeko ezininzi ezinokukhokelela kusapho kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo kwaye eyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yokukhulisa abantwana bakho kukusebenzisana ngokubambisana.
Le yindlela elungileyo yokuba bobabini abazali baqhubeke nokuhlala kubomi babantwana babo besabelana ngoxanduva lokukhulisa umntwana.
Sonke siyaliqonda ixabiso lokuba nabazali bobabini bakhulise umntwana kodwa kuya kuthini ukuba umzali wakho ongumlingani ungumntu we-narcissist?
Ngaba zikho iindlela eziqinisekisiweyo zokujongana nomzali ongumlingani we-narcissist?
Ingxaki yokwenyani ye-narcissist-ubuntu
Silivile igama elithi narcissist amaxesha amaninzi kwaye amaxesha amaninzi, lisetyenziselwa abantu abalambathayo okanye abazixakekise kakhulu. Isenokwenzeka ukuba yathandwa zezinye zeempawu ezincinci zembali kodwa ayisiyiyo eyona ntsingiselo yekota.
I-narcissist yokwenyani ikude nje ekubeni lilize okanye ukuzixakekisa, kunokuba ibe ngumntu onesifo sobuntu kwaye kufuneka aphathwe ngoluhlobo. Abantu abafunyaniswe ukuba baneNarcissistic Personality Disorder okanye i-NPD ngabo bantu basebenza ubomi babo bemihla ngemihla besebenzisa iindlela zobuqhetseba, ubuxoki nenkohliso.
Abakwazi ukugcina ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nabantu abatshatileyo kunye nabantwana babo ngenxa yenkohliso, ubuxoki, ukungabi naluvelwano, kunye notyekelo lwabo lokuhlukumeza abanye.
Ngelishwa, ayingabo bonke abantu abanokuchongwa ukuba banesi sifo kuba banokuzifihla iimpawu zabo kwihlabathi langaphandle. Okulusizi kukuba, ngabahlobo babo abasondeleyo kunye nosapho abayaziyo le nto kwaye baya kuva ngendlela ezonakalisa ngayo ii-narcissists.
Uyintoni umzali we-narcissist?
Ngaba ngokwenene ngumceli mngeni ukujongana neqabane le-narcissist kodwa yintoni onokuyenza ukuba sele unabo abantwana? Ngaba zikhona iindlela zokujongana nomzali ongumlingani we-narcissist? Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba bahlale kubudlelwane nabantwana babo ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kubuntu babo?
Umzali odlamkileyo ngumntu ojonga abantwana bakhe njengoonopopi okanye njengokhuphiswano.
Abayi kubavumela ukuba badlule kwinqanaba labo lokuzimela kwaye baya kubatyhafisa ngokukhula kwabo. Eyona nto iphambili kubo kukuba bakhulu kangakanani kwaye banokulufumana njani lonke uhoyo nokuba kungasokolisa kusapho.
Enye yezona meko zoyikisayo onokuthi ungene kuzo kukuqonda ukuba iqabane lakho li-narcissist.
Ungabavumela njani abantwana bakho ukuba bakhuliswe ngumntu oneengxaki zobuntu? Izigqibo ziya kuba nzima kakhulu kule meko. Rhoqo kunokuba kunjalo, umzali usenokukhetha ukuvumela ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana ngethemba lokuba kukho ithuba lokuba iqabane labo elingumlingani lingatshintsha.
Ngaba ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana kunye ne-narcissist kunokwenzeka?
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba kulo naluphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane esinalo, kufuneka sifunde ukufumanisa iiflegi ezibomvu ngakumbi xa isisu sakho sikuxelela ukuba kukho into engaqhelekanga.
Kwahlukile xa sizama ukwenza ubudlelwane bethu nabalingane bethu kodwa ukujongana nabo njengabazali abangabazali lilonke inqanaba elitsha. Akukho mzali ufuna ukuba abantwana bakhe bakhule benendawo ekuhlukumezayo kuyo, kungasathethwa ke ngokuya kufikelela kwingqondo efanayo nomzali wabo ongakhathaliyo.
Ukuba umzali osebenza naye uthatha isigqibo sokuhlala, kusekho izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe kuba umthwalo wokwenza umsebenzi wokuba ngumzali uya kuba luxanduva olukhulu.
- Ngaba ukhe wacinga ngeendlela onokubanceda ngazo abantwana bakho bazive bethandwa kwaye bexatyisiwe nangona umzali wakho angasebenzisani?
- Leliphi ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuchaza ingxaki yomzali wabo narcissistic?
- Zeziphi iindlela onokuzisebenzisa zokukunceda ukuba ujongane nomzali ongumlingane?
- Ngaba zikho iindlela zokuzikhusela wena nabantwana bakho ngohlaselo lomzali wakho?
- Ungabamba ixesha elingakanani kolu seto?
- Ngaba wenza into elungileyo ngokuvumela umntu othanda ukuba yinxalenye yobomi bomntwana wakho?
Iindlela zokujongana nomzali osebenza narcissist
Siza kuludinga lonke uncedo esinokulufumana xa sithatha isigqibo sokuhlala kolu hlobo lobudlelwane.
Kuya kufuneka uziqeqeshe ukuze ube nakho ukujongana nomzali wakho.
- Yomelela ufumane lonke uncedo olufunayo. Funa iingcebiso ngokwakho ukuze ufumane inkxaso kumntu onamava wokujongana nezi ntlobo zokuphazamiseka kubuntu. Ungazami ukufumana umzali wakho ukuba ahambe nawe-ayizukusebenza.
- Ungaze ubavumele ukuba baphembelele abanye abantu ukuba bakwenze uzive unetyala okanye ubabonise ukuba nguwe onengxaki.
- Misela umzekelo kwaye ufundise abantwana bakho malunga nokuzikhathalela kungekuphela ngokwasemzimbeni kodwa nasengqondweni nangokweemvakalelo. Nokuba ungabaxelela ntoni na umzali wabo ongakhathaliyo, ulapho ukuze uphucule konke.
- Sukubonisa ukuba sesichengeni kwakho ngomzali wakho. Bajonge kakhulu, ukuba banokufumana nabuphi na ubuthathaka kuwe-baya kuyisebenzisa. Yiba uyadika kwaye ube kude.
- Musa ukuzonwabisa kwakhona kwakhona. Phendula kuphela imibuzo malunga nomntwana wakho kwaye ungavumeli amaqhinga akhohlisayo afike kuwe.
- Ukuba u-co-parent-narcissistic co-parent usebenzisa umntwana wakho ukwenza uzive unetyala malunga nosapho lwakho- ungavumeli ukuba ifike kuwe.
- Bonisa ukuba uyakwazi ukulawula imeko. Namathela kwiishedyuli zokundwendwela, sukuvumela umzali wakho ukuba akuxelele okanye akuthethe ukuba unikezele kwiimfuno zakhe.
- Kwasebuncinaneni, zama indlela eyahlukileyo kwindlela onokuthi ubachazele ngayo abantwana bakho imeko kunye nendlela abanokuthi bawaphathe ngayo amava abo kunye nomzali wabo ongakhathaliyo.
Ukukhulisa umntwana akukaze kube lula, yintoni enye onokuyenza xa ungumzali kunye nomntu ophethwe yi-NPD?
Akuzange kube lula ukujongana nomzali ongumlingani we-narcissist, makungabikho nto ebavumela ukuba baqhubeke nokuba yinxalenye yobomi babantwana bakho.
Kuthatha inqanaba elipheleleyo lokuzithemba, umonde, kunye nokuqonda ukuze ukwazi ukuziqhelanisa nokuba ngumzali ngokufanayo nomntu onesifo esibuhlungu. Nokuba yeyiphi na imeko, okoko nje ubona ukuba umntwana wakho uqhuba kakuhle wenza umsebenzi omkhulu!