Umxholo
- 1. Soloko ugxeka
- 2. Ukungasebenzisani
- 3. Akanambulelo
- 4. Akazithembanga
- 5. Kukudimaza ukuzimela kwakho
- 6. Usoloko uhlekisa
- 7. Ukuziveza njengexhoba
- 8. Kukusa kwiihambo zokuziva unetyala
- 9. Ukulawula into engaqhelekanga
Bathi ukubona kuyakholwa. Akukho mntu usiqondayo isiqalekiso sobudlelwane obunetyhefu de babekho kwezi zihlangu.
Abantu bahlala bethetha ngendlela amaxabiso oqhawulo-mtshato anyuka ngayo ngokuhamba kwexesha, indlela abafazi abaye bancipha ngayo kwaye banganyamezeli.
Kulula ukutsho kunokuba ukwenzile. Ngaba sizamile ukufikelela kwingcambu yengxaki? Kutheni abantu abaninzi bengonwabanga nje emtshatweni wabo? Yintoni ebanyanzela ukuba bathathe amanyathelo aqatha ngolu hlobo?
Umonakalo obangelwa kukuphathwa gadalala awukho ngaphantsi kokuxhatshazwa emzimbeni. Okona kubi kukuba, abantu bacinga ukuba ukuba ayibonakali, ayikho.
Ukujongwa ngakumbi kwezininzi Ulwalamano olungaphumeleliyo lunokusinika ukuqonda kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha okungafunekiyo.
Ukuba umyeni wakho ungenzi nto emtshatweni wakho, unokujika ubudlelwane bakho bube krakra. Kukho konke ukunyaniseka, ukutshata namadoda angenangqondo kufana nokuhlala phakathi komtyholi kunye nolwandle olunzulu.
Unokuba usokola ukuthula okanye ulungele ukugwetywa ngenkohlakalo luluntu lwethu olungenabuntu. Ukuba ubona umfazi otyumkileyo, unelungelo lokwahlukana nomyeni wakhe.
Kodwa kuthekani ngomfazi onomphefumlo ombi? Umfazi onesidima nokuzithemba kwakhe kuye kwachithwa kwachithwa kwaziingceba ezizigidi?
Ukusinda kwi-micro-aggression akulula. Ubundlongondlongo obuncinci buyabhatala impilo yakho yasemzimbeni nasengqondweni. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ulixhoba lohlaselo oluncinci, lixesha lokuba uqale ulawule ikamva lakho.
Ukunyanga ingxaki okanye ukufunda ukuhlala nomyeni ongakhathaliyo, kuqala kufuneka uqaphele ukuba utshatile nomntu onobutshaba kwaye uphume kwimeko yokwala.
Nazi iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zomyeni onobukrakra:
1. Soloko ugxeka
Enye yezona zinto zixhaphakileyo endodeni-enobundlongondlongo kukuba uhlala egxeka izenzo zakho kwaye abonise iimpawu zokuthandabuza.
Akaluxabisanga uluvo lwakho kwaye endaweni yoko uyathandabuza ukwenza kwakho izigqibo ngalo lonke ixesha.
Ukwenza oku rhoqo ukuze ekugqibeleni angene ekukholelweni ukuba awunakho ukwenza naziphi na izigqibo ezichanekileyo ngokwakho, ukushiya uzive ungenaluncedo ngaphandle kwakhe.
Oku kumnika imvakalelo yokuba ubalulekile.
2. Ukungasebenzisani
Umyeni o-ndlongondlongo uhlala ethanda ukuba nembono yokufaneleka.
Uhlala ejonga umzabalazo wakho kwaye abonise ukungakhathali kuwe.
Iqabane elinobundlobongela alikwazi ukubona okanye ukuxabisa zonke iinzame ozibeka kulwalamano lwakho kwaye uziva kungekho sidingo sokusebenzisana nawe kuyo nayiphi na imicimbi, ukusuka kwimisebenzi yasekhaya ukuya ekunyamekeleni abantwana.
Uya kumfumana madolw 'anzima ukunceda.
3. Akanambulelo
Umtshato uthatha nzima kwaye usebenza nzima. Ngamanye amaxesha iba yidrab kwaye iyadika.
Nangona kunjalo, ukubonisa ubushushu obuncinci kunye noxabiso kuhlala kwenza umohluko.
Kumntu onetyhefu nongakhuselekanga, ezo zenzo zingathetha ukubanjwa angalindelanga. Angayithatha njengaphantsi kwakhe ukuze akuxabise ngemizamo yakho.
4. Akazithembanga
Ngokwesiqhelo, ubundlongondlongo obukhulu ngunobangela wokungazithembi kunye nokuzithemba.
Abantu abangazithembanga bahlala bezikhusela kwaye bengakhathali malunga nomfanekiso wabo.
Umntu onengqondo enjalo uhlala ehlaselwa ngumbono wokuphulukana neqabane lakhe. Umyeni ongazithembanga unengxaki yokuxabisa ubudlelwane bakhe ngayo nayiphi na into ayifunayo.
Bukela kwakhona: Iimpawu zonxibelelwano olungenamdla.
5. Kukudimaza ukuzimela kwakho
Esinye sezizathu eziphambili zokuba athande ukukuphatha kakubi kukuzithemba kwakhe.
Amadoda aphethwe kukungazithembi kunye nokuziva ungaxabisekanga anokungazithembi ngaphakathi malunga nolwalamano lwabo namaqabane abo.
Oku kubenza bakholelwe ukuba abaxatyiswanga kuba bangoobani kodwa baxabisa oko banokubonelela ngako. Baye, ke ngoko, banokwenza ukuba amaqabane abo azive exhomekeke kakhulu kubo, ebanceda ukuba baphakamise ukuzithemba kwabo.
6. Usoloko uhlekisa
Ngubani ongakuthandiyo ukuhlekisa, nditsho noChandler wasebenzisa ukukrexeza njengendlela yokuhlekisa, kwaye siyamthanda ngenxa yoko.
Nangona ukukrexeza luhlobo oluhlekisayo, kufuneka lusetyenziswe ngononophelo.
Amaqabane ahlala ezibandakanya kwii-jibes ezinobuhlobo ngalo lonke ixesha. Kodwa ukuba oku kuba yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye nako ukuba ngumntu omnye ahlala ekufumaneni isiphelo, ngokuqinisekileyo yingxaki.
7. Ukuziveza njengexhoba
Omnye umqondiso wendoda engenaburhalarhume kukuba ngaphandle kwako konke ukungcungcutheka kwengqondo kunye nokuphathwa gadalala, umyeni ongakhathaliyo uyakuthanda ukudlala ixhoba.
Ukuba utshatile nendoda enobundlobongela, hiya kuhlala ikwenza uzive umbi ngezenzo zakho kwaye ndikweyisele ukuba uvume kwaye uxolise ngezinto ongenakuze uzenze kwasekuqaleni.
8. Kukusa kwiihambo zokuziva unetyala
Ukuziva unetyala xa ukhubekisa iqabane lakho yinto eyenziwa zizibini ezininzi ukufumana oko zikufunayo okanye ukunqanda ukujongana nazo.
Nangona kunjalo, njengokuhlekisa, kufuneka kusetyenziswe ngononophelo xa usebenzisa le ndlela ngokungakhathali ngaphandle kokujonga iimvakalelo zeqabane lakho kungekudala ungazifumana sele ungonwabanga.
Ulibale ukuqhuba okude; olu hlobo lwendoda lukuthatha kuhambo lokuziva unetyala! Kwaye nayo yasimahla! Akasoze aliphose ithuba lokwenza uzisole kwaye uzicaphukele.
9. Ukulawula into engaqhelekanga
Okokugqibela kodwa kungaphelelanga apho, umyeni ongenaburhalarhume ufana nepoltergeist.
Uya kuba nengqondo nomphefumlo wakho kwaye athathe ulawulo kuyo yonke into oyenzayo. Uya kukuphula amathambo kude kungabikho nto iseleyo kuwe, uze ube ndindisholo.
Iqabane elimphethe gadalala lisoloko lisisiphumo samava angathandekiyo ebuntwaneni. Imbali ayiyeki ukuziphindaphinda, kwaye ukubandezeleka buthule kuya kukhokelela kwesinye isizukulwana sabantu esingonwabanga emtshatweni wabo.
Ukuqhubana nendoda enengcwangu okanye uqhawula umtshato nendoda enoburharha kuya kufuna ukuba uphinde ubuyise ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nokuzithemba kwakho ukuba ukubiwe.
Yiba ligorha lakho. Ke ukuba uzibhaqa uvaleleke kwimeko enjalo, endaweni yokulinda umntu oza kukuhlangula, kuya kufuneka ube ligorha lakho.
Kuya kufuneka ugqobhoze la makhamandela angabonakaliyo kwaye uyeke ubundlongondlongo bungonakalisi ubudlelwane bakho.
Unokuthathela ingqalelo ukufuna uncedo lweengcali wena kunye neqabane lakho ukuze nisuse esi sifo ngelixesha lisekhona. Alikafiki ixesha.