Umxholo
Uqhawulo-mtshato yinkqubo enzima ukuyinyamezela. Nokuba sisigqibo esenziwe macala omabini okanye omnye awunikhethwanga, kubuhlungu, akukonwabisi kwaye yinto embi ukuba ube nayo. Kukho ubomi, nangona kunjalo, emva komtshato. Njengalo naluphi na utshintsho olukhulu kubomi bomntu, uqhawulo-mtshato luyakwazi ukutshintsha indlela ojonga ngayo ebomini kunye nokuzimisela kwakho ukuba nesibindi kwaye ufumane iindawo ezinzulu zento oyiyo. Oku kunokuza ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Unokukhetha ukuya kwiindawo ongazange waya kuzo, zama izinto ongazange uzenze, okanye uphonononge amaqela amatsha abantu onokunxibelelana nabo ngokunzulu. Ukuba ukhethe ukuqala uhambo lokufumana uthando kunye nobudlelwane kwakhona, thatha le mibuzo ilandelayo.
Ngaba ndiphilile ngokwasemphefumlweni?
Nokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lwakho lubangelwe kukungathembeki, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukhe weva iintlungu ngokwasemphefumlweni kunye nokwenzakala kubudlelwane ngexesha lokwahlukana. Thatha ixesha lokusebenza ngokwakho kwaye uphonononge iindawo apho zivela khona ezi ntlungu. Uninzi lwabantu lukhetha ukuzibandakanya kwiingcebiso zomtshato okanye amaqela enkxaso; Nokuba yeyiphi okanye zombini ezi zinokunceda umntu ekufumaneni ubunzulu bentlungu kunye nokwenzakala okukhoyo kwaye zinokubonelela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokujonga. Nangona ekuqaleni kungaziva ukuba iintlungu azizukuhamba, ngenkuthazo elungileyo kunye nokufuna ukuxolelwa kunye nokuphiliswa, ungothuka yindlela ekulula ngayo ukuba ukwazi ukuthatha ubomi bakho uye phambili.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ungazilungiselela Njani kuQhawulo-mtshato ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uziSindise kwiNtlungu yentliziyo
Ngaba ndikhe ndazinika ixesha?
Ngaphambi kokungena kummandla wokufuna uthando lomnye umntu, kuthathele ingqalelo oku. Ngaba unike ixesha elaneleyo lokuba uphilise kwaye uphonononge into oyifunayo kuhambo lwakho? Ngaba uthathe ixesha lokuzikhathaza ngokuzonakalisa, ixesha lokuhlaziya kunye nokuphumla? Cinga ngeemfuno zakho- ngelixa oku kunokuvakala ngathi kukuzingca, kufuna abantu ababini ukuba benze ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli nobonwabisayo. Ukuba umntu omnye akathembelanga komnye ukuzalisa loo nto, naluphi na ulwalamano luya kuba nzima kwaye luzele ubunzima. Thatha ixesha lokuzihlanganisa kwakhona ngaphambi kokulandela uthando kunye nothando. Uyakufumanisa kulula kakhulu ukubandakanya abantu abacinga-nye ukuba ingqondo nentliziyo yakho zisempilweni.
Ngaba ndikulungele ngokwenene?
Ngaba ukuthandana nomntu ngoku yinto oyifunayo ngokwenene? Ngaba ujonge into yexesha elide okanye ulungise nje ngokukhawuleza ukuba uzive wanelisekile okwethutyana? Ngelixa oku kunokubonakala ngathi yimibuzo yobudenge kodwa kubalulekile ukuba uzibuze yona. Ukuthandana kuthetha ukuvulela omnye umntu intliziyo yakho nengqondo yakho, mhlawumbi nokuba baninzi! Ukulungela ukuphinda wenze amadinga kwakhona akuzi nesitampu okanye itywina lokuvunywa. Sisigqibo ekufuneka usenzile. Nguwe kuphela owaziyo ukuba uya kuba ukulungele nini na ukwamkela omnye umntu ebomini bakho kwezothando. Ukuba elo xesha ngoku, yiya ngalo! Musa ukoyika ukuthatha umngcipheko okanye ukuzonwabisa. Nokuba ulungile ngoku okanye hayi, qiniseka ukuba unoluhlu lweempawu engqondweni. Musa ukuchitha ixesha kwabo bangayifikeleliyo iminqweno yakho enzulu kwenye ebalulekileyo. Sukuhlala "okuhle" xa unqwenela "uhlobo". Zazi wena kunye neemfuno zakho ngaphambi kokulandela omnye umntu.
Ngaphezulu kwako konke, yazi oyena mntu. Alikho ixesha eligqibeleleyo lokuqalisa ukuthandana kwakhona. Kwaye ngaphandle kwento onokuyixelelwa, ayikhawulezi kakhulu okanye ihambe kakhulu. Ixesha lelakho lokukhetha. Ngaba intliziyo yakho nengqondo yakho zikwindawo elungileyo, kwaye ngekhe uhambe gwenxa! Kunokubakho amaqhuma alindelweyo apha endleleni, kodwa ukuba uhlala unyanisekile kuwe, akukho bump inkulu kakhulu ukuba woyise. Ukuthandana ngobomi akuyi kugqibelela, kodwa funa inkuthazo yabo bakwazi ngcono. Buza ubulumko babo (hayi izimvo zabo!), Kwaye ufunde ukumamela iimvakalelo zakho kwakhona. Umtshato ophelileyo awunyanzelekanga ukuba uqhubekeke nobomi obuqhubela phambili- lixesha lokonwaba kwaye wonwabe luthando olutsha kuwe kunye nokuxabiseka kwakho!
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Isinyathelo esisi-5 sokuCeba ukuHamba emva koQhawulo-mtshato