Umxholo
- Kutheni ukuthandana nomntu wasemzini kunokuba yinto encinci
- 1. Abathethi ulwimi olufanayo
- 2. Ukungakwazi ukubonana rhoqo
- 3. Ukunxibelelana nosapho lwakhe
- 1. Nxibelelana naye nanini na kunokwenzeka
- 2. Fundani ulwimi lomnye
- 3. Hloniphanani iinkcubeko
- 4. Thetha ngezicwangciso zakho
- 5. Yiba nomonde
- 6. Mbonise uthando lwakho ngalo lonke ithuba olifumana
Ubudlelwane obude obude buya buxhaphaka ngakumbi kwezi ntsuku. Ukuthandana nomntu ovela kwelinye ilizwe kunokukubonisela iingxaki ezimbalwa kodwa kuhlala kukho indlela yokulungisa izinto ukuba ucinga ulifanele ixesha lakho.
Intombazana yasemzini inokubonakala ingaqhelekanga kwaye ingaqhelekanga kwilizwe lakho kodwa kufuneka ugcine engqondweni ukuba kuya kubakho izithintelo ezimbalwa phakathi kwakho nobabini ezinokuthi zithintele ubudlelwane benu.
Ukuba awunamava kule ndawo yokuthandana, unokufuna uncedo oluthile ukuze uqhubeke nale meko. Nazi ezinye zeengcebiso ezilungileyo zokukunceda wenze umgama kunye nokulinda okude.
Kutheni ukuthandana nomntu wasemzini kunokuba yinto encinci
Ngelixa ukudibana nomntu ovela kwelinye ilizwe kunokuba mnandi kwaye kunomdla, zininzi izinto ezinokungahambi kakuhle. Kumanqanaba okuqala obudlelwane, izinto zinomdla kwaye zizele zizinto ezintsha onokuzihlola, kodwa uninzi lwezibini, iinyanga ezimbalwa zinokuthatha uxinzelelo kubudlelwane.
Nazi ezinye zeengxaki eziqhelekileyo oza kudibana nazo xa uthandana nentombazana yasemzini.
1. Abathethi ulwimi olufanayo
Owona mcimbi mkhulu kubo bonke ngumqobo wolwimi. Ngelixa nobabini ninokuthetha isiNgesi, kufuneka nikhumbule ukuba kuya kuba nzima kakhulu kuni nobabini ukuzithetha ngendlela eniza kwenza ngayo ngolwimi lwenu. Ewe, ukugqabhuka kwakhe kunokuba yinto entle kwaye kuyathandeka, kodwa usenokungakwazi ukuthetha ngemicimbi engxamisekileyo ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Nokuba zilunge kangakanani izakhono zakho zesiNgesi, ulwimi ngalunye kwihlabathi liphela lineentetho ezahlukeneyo kunye namabinzana angenakuguqulelwa ngokulula kwaye anokukhokelela kunxibelelwano olungelulo.
Ukongeza, ngelixa yonke into ingaqala ibonakale ilula ngokwaneleyo, unokufumana iingxaki xa izinto ziqala ukuba nzulu. Esi sisihloko esoloko sibalulekile kuwo onke amabhinqa kwaye kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba ikwalinyathelo elinokuthi libeke uxinzelelo olukhulu kwizibini ezininzi ezivela kumazwe ahlukeneyo.
2. Ukungakwazi ukubonana rhoqo
Umzabalazo omkhulu wokuthandana nentombazana yasemzini ayikwazi ukumbona ngokwaneleyo.
Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho unqwenela ukuba nomntu wokulala ecaleni kwakho okanye uchithe ixesha naye.
Ukubonana kuya kuhlala kwenzeka ngeholide kwaye uya kuhlala ujikelezwe lusapho macala kwaye inokuba yingxaki njengoko nina nobabini niza kufuna ixesha lenu nedwa.
Nokuba ngabafundi beekholeji okanye nibaqeshwe nobabini, uya kubona ukuba ukwenza ixesha lokuhamba ukuze ubonane kuya kuba nzima, kungekuphela nje ixesha elilumkileyo kodwa kunye nobulumko bohlahlo-lwabiwo mali. Umzekelo, ukuba uhlala e-US kunye nobomi bakho obubalulekileyo eYurophu, amatikiti ayabiza kwaye iinqwelomoya zihlala ixesha elide, kwaye kuyakuthatha iinyanga ezimbalwa zokucwangcisa ukuze uchithe iiveki ezimbalwa kunye.
3. Ukunxibelelana nosapho lwakhe
Ngelixa uninzi lwabantu abancinci kwihlabathi liphela bethetha isiNgesi kule mihla, into efanayo ayisebenzi kwizizukulwana ezindala. Enye yezinto zokuqala ubudlelwane bam benkcubeko endiyifundisileyo kukuba ngelixa ukunxibelelana nentombazana yakho kuya kuba yingxaki, abazali bakhe abanakukwazi ukuthetha nawe kuba ngekhe uthethe naluphi na ulwimi oluqhelekileyo.
Unokukwazi ukuliqonda kakuhle ibhinqa lakho, kodwa ukudibana nabazali balo kuya kuba libali elahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo.
Ukungakwazi ukuthetha nabo ngokufanelekileyo kuya kuba yingxaki ukuba omnye wakho obalulekileyo akazami ukukuguqulela yonke into xa undwendwele. Nabaphi na abazali bentombazana ngokuqinisekileyo baya kufuna ukwazi ukuba ungubani, uvelaphi kwaye kutheni uthandana nentombi yabo; oko kuza nje ukuthandana umfazi.
Uya kuba nexesha elinomdla lokuthetha nabo ngawe ukuba awuthethi ulwimi olunye.
Ukwenza ukuba isebenze nokuba kunzima
Nokuba nihlala kude kude omnye komnye, ekupheleni kosuku oku kuya kufana nje nolunye ubudlelwane njengoko kufuna inqanaba elifanayo lokuzinikela kunye nonxibelelwano. Xa uthandana nomntu, kuhlala kukho izinto ezimbalwa onokuzenza ukuze wenze ubudlelwane bakho busebenze lula.
1. Nxibelelana naye nanini na kunokwenzeka
Enye yezona zinto zibaluleke kakhulu ekwenzeni ubudlelwane bomgama omde kukwenza ixesha lokuba kunye. Ukuthumela imiyalezo ngefowuni kuya kuba yeyona ndlela yakho yokunxibelelana emini kwaye kuba awuzokwazi ukudibana rhoqo, kuyakudlala indima ebalulekileyo kubudlelwane bakho njengoko oku kuya kukunceda ukuba nazane bhetele.
Kuyo yonke imini, licebo elilungileyo ukuthumela omnye komnye iziqwengana zobomi bakho bemihla ngemihla.
Iividiyo kunye nemifanekiso zinokunika intombi yakho umbono olungileyo wobomi bakho bemihla ngemihla kwaye iya kuziva ngathi ibandakanyiwe kuyo yonke into oyenzayo.
Ukumenza azive ebalulekile kuya kumenza onwabe.
Ngaphezulu kwalonto, kuya kufuneka uyenze intombazana yakho ukuba izive ikhethekileyo ngokulungiselela imihla yesiqhelo ye-Skype apho ninokuthetha khona, nibe nesidlo sangokuhlwa kunye kwaye nisazana ngcono. Oku kubalulekile ukuba unqwenela ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho buhlale kwaye umzamo owenzayo xa uhlala kude omnye nomnye, kuya kubakho ukonwaba ngakumbi kwaye nonwabe xa nikunye.
2. Fundani ulwimi lomnye
Eyona ndlela yokususa umqobo wolwimi phakathi kwenu nobabini neentsapho kukufundana ulwimi. IsiNgesi mhlawumbi siyakuhlala silolona lwimi uza kulusebenzisa kakhulu kubudlelwane kodwa ukufunda iilwimi zomnye kuya kukunceda ubonise ukuba uzimisele ngokuba kunye. Ngoku oku kunokuba nzima ukukulungiselela kwaye kuyakudinga imali kunye nexesha kwicala lakho kodwa lixabiso elincinci ekufuneka ulilihlawule.
Oku akuyi kumonwabisa nje kuphela, kodwa intombazana yakho iya kwazi ukuba uzimisele ngokuba kunye naye kwaye nosapho lwakhe luya kuvuya ngokukwazi ukuthetha nawe ngakumbi. Ngelixa oku kungathatha ixesha enkosini, akufuneki ube neentloni zokuziqhelanisa nanini na xa undwendwela. Mcele ukuba akufundise amagama asisiseko kwaye akuncede uqhubeke nokuziqhelanisa kwaye nawe ungenza okufanayo kuye.
3. Hloniphanani iinkcubeko
Enye yezinto eziza kunceda ubudlelwane benu bokugqibela yindlela enihloniphana ngayo kunye neenkcubeko kunye namasiko enu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuthandana kunokuba mnandi kwaye ngokuba nomntu wasemzini uya kuba nakho ukufunda okuninzi malunga nelizwe labo kunye namasiko kwaye iya kuba yinto entsha kwaye emnandi.
Kuya kufuneka ugcine engqondweni nangona, ngakumbi ukuba uzimisele ngokuba nale ntombazana, ukuba awusayi kuphinda ube lundwendwe kwilizwe lakhe.
Xa ulapho umtyelele, kuya kufuneka ulumke malunga nendlela owenza ngayo phakathi kosapho kunye nabantu abathandayo.
Ngelixa into elula njengokugcina izandla inokwamkeleka emva apho uvela khona, inokuba yinto ehlaselayo apho ahlala khona. Usenokungavumi ukuzama isidlo sendawo esibalulekileyo kwisithethe sosapho.
Abantu abavela kwiinkcubeko ezahlukeneyo banokuba namasiko awahlukeneyo anokuba ntsha kwaye ungonwabi kuwe ke kuya kufuneka uzilungiselele xa unokuzifumana ukwimeko entsha njengoko kusazakufuneka uhloniphe.
4. Thetha ngezicwangciso zakho
Emva kokuba kunye okwethutyana, uya kufuna ukuqala ukuthetha ngendlela ozibona ngayo nina nobabini inkqubela phambili kwixa elizayo njengesibini. Ukwenza izicwangciso akufuneki kubandakanya umtshato kunye nokuhamba kunye; ukuba benithandana ixesha nje, ungaqala ngokuceba uhambo oluya phesheya okanye ngokundwendwela iintsapho zomnye nomnye.
Xa udlula kwizinto ezisisiseko kwaye ubona ukuba usebenza kunye njengeqela, ungaqala ukuthetha ngobomi bakho bekamva kunye.
Ngelixa kungaze kube lula ukuphumeza onke amaphupha angena kubudlelwane obukude, kuya kufuneka ube unento onomdla kuyo. Intombazana yakho ingakumbi iya kukuvuyela ngokwenene ukwazi ukuba ixesha lenu nilichitha kunye.
Nokuba umgama unzima kuni nobabini, ukuba neenjongo ezifanayo kunye nezicwangciso zexesha elizayo kuyakuninceda ukuba niqhubeke kwaye kuya kunikhumbuza ngesizathu sokuba nobabini nikunye xa amaxesha esiba nzima. Khawukhumbule nje ukuba ungangxami kuyo kwaye uthathe yonke into inyathelo elinye ngexesha.
5. Yiba nomonde
Ukuthandana nomntu ovela kwelinye ilizwe kuya kufuna umonde omkhulu ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi. Ngaphandle kokulinda ithutyana de ubabone kwakhona, kuyakufuneka ube nomonde kwindlela abalungisa ngayo umahluko phakathi kwezithethe zakho, iinkcubeko zakho, iilwimi zakho kunye neentsapho zakho.
Ngelixa usapho lwakho lunokuxhasa ngokupheleleyo ubudlelwane bakho, usapho lwakhe lunokukrokrela kwaye lungamkeli kwasekuqaleni.
Inye kuphela into onokuyenza apha kukunika wonke umntu ixesha lokuziqhelanisa nemeko entsha kwaye uqonde izizathu zakho kunye nokubaluleka kobudlelwane bakho.
Ixesha elingaphezulu, wonke umntu uya kwamkela ukuba nobabini nibakunye kwaye niyakwazi ukuqonda ngcono ukungafani kwenu kunye nezinto enifana ngazo. Umonde sisitshixo sokwenza olo lwalamano lusebenze kwaye kuya kufuneka ubenalo oluninzi ukuba uzimisele ngokuba nalo mfazi.
Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba, xa kuthelekiswa neminyaka engama-50 eyadlulayo, bali-17% abantu abatshatileyo abanjalo Iintlanga. Ukuhamba kuye kwafikeleleka ngakumbi kuye wonke umntu, kwaye ukudibana nabantu abavela kuzo zonke iintlobo zemvelaphi kunika olu lwalamano ithuba lokuphumelela. Umonde uya kukunceda uhambe kwimizabalazo kwaye wazi ukuba umhla uya kuza xa uya kuba nentombazana yakho ecaleni kwakho.
6. Mbonise uthando lwakho ngalo lonke ithuba olifumana
Abantu abaninzi banokukuxelela ukuba ubudlelwane bemigama emide abanalo ulwalamano oluqhelekileyo kwaye awusoze uphinde ube nexesha elikhethekileyo kunye nomntu omthandayo. Kwinyani, ezi ntlobo zobudlelwane zinokuba mnandi ngakumbi kwaye uya kuba nakho ukufumana amaxesha okukhumbula ngokwenyani kunye.
Into ekufuneka igcinwe engqondweni kukuba obu budlelwane budinga umzamo ukuze usebenze. Kuya kufuneka usoloko ubonakalisa intombazana yakho uthando lwakho ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kwaye into emnandi malunga nomgama kukuba kuya kufuneka ufunde indlela yokuphucula.
Umzekelo, ukuba uyayazi idilesi yakhe, unoku-odola izipho ezincinci kuye nanini na isikhumbuzo sakho sivela. Uphendlo olulula lukaGoogle ngezimvo zesipho unokuba ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni.
Unokude uthethe namanye amalungu osapho asondeleyo kuye kwaye umcwangcisele isimangalo esincinci ngokumtyelela kwangoko kunoko wayecinga ukuba ubukucebile.
Ukubonisa ukuba umkhathalele kuya kudibanisa nina kunye nokunisondeza.
Eyona nto iya kubagcina nobabini nihlangene kuwo onke amaxesha xa ninqwenela nje ukuba ningahlangana okwethutyana.
Ukwenza ulwalamano lwakho lufanele umzamo
Ngelixa olu hlobo lobudlelwane lunokuba lufuna ngakumbi kunolwalamano oluqhelekileyo, akufuneki uvumele nantoni na ime phakathi kwakho nomfazi omthandayo. Iimvakalelo zomnye nomnye kufuneka ibe kuphela kwento ekukhokelayo kwaye akufuneki uvumele nabani na ukuba akwenze ucinge ngenye indlela.
Ukwenza ukuba isebenze kuya kufuna umgudu kuwo omabini amacala kodwa ekupheleni kosuku, kuya kuba ngumvuzo omkhulu kwaye kuzolise ukwazi ukuba ngaphandle kobunzima, ubwenzile ukuba busebenze. Khumbula nje ukwamkela iiyantlukwano zakho kwaye ubeke umzamo owoneleyo ekwenzeni ukuba iintsapho zakho zamkele ukhetho lwakho kwaye yonke into izakulunga.