Umxholo
- 1. Iqabane lakho alizukugqibezela
- 2. Musa ukulindela lukhulu kwiqabane lakho
- 3. Awuyi kuhlala ufumana uthando
- 4. Intsapho yeqabane lakho sisitshixo
- 5. Gcina ingxelo yemali yeqabane lakho
- 6. Impixano ayinakuphepheka
Uyathandana kwaye uyabandakanyeka kodwa ungaqiniseka njani ukuba ubulungele ubomi bomtshato? Uninzi lwezibini aziqinisekanga kwaphela xa kufikwa ekugqibeleni zihlala phantsi. Abaqinisekanga ngento abanokuyilindela kunye nento ekufuneka bajonge kuyo, kwaye xa izinto ziba nzima, bahlala bephosa itawuli.
NgokukaKristen Bell noDax Shepard; isibini esidumileyo "It" esithandwa ngumntu wonke, isitshixo sokugcina ixesha elide kwaye lisempilweni, iqhina elonwabileyo lunyango lwesibini ngaphambi komtshato. Unyango lunokunceda ekuhambeni kwexesha kwaye luncede ukugcina umtshato wakho xa kuvela iingxaki. Nangona kunjalo, kukho iingcebiso ezisisiseko ekufuneka uyazi ngaphambi kokuya kunyango lwezibini kunye nokuhlala phantsi.
1. Iqabane lakho alizukugqibezela
Njengoko uJerry Maguire wayekhe wangumgca odumileyo malunga nokugqibezelana kweqabane kunokuvakala kuthandana kodwa ayiyonyani. Awunakulindela ukuba iqabane lakho ligqibe ubomi bakho. Kubudlelwane, kubalulekile kuwe ukuba ugxile kuwe kodwa ungazicingeli. Gxila kuwe ngendlela engalihoyi iqabane lakho okanye elonakalise ubudlelwane.
Endaweni yoko, ziqwalasele ngokwakho ngendlela apho uzikhathalele ngokwaneleyo ukuze ube nakho ukuvelisa elona cala lakho libalaseleyo.
Abantu abatshatileyo abonwabileyo kufuneka babe nokulingana phakathi kokwahlukana nokuba kunye.
2. Musa ukulindela lukhulu kwiqabane lakho
Lo ngumgaqo ophambili womtshato kunye nolunye uhlobo lobuhlobo, kokukhona ulindele, kokukhona intliziyo kunye nengqumbo zilandela. Kuhlala kucetyiswa ukuba izinto ozilindeleyo akufuneki zifike esibhakabhakeni kwaye kufuneka uzigcine.
Ngokuqinisekileyo ufuna okuninzi kwiqabane lakho njengomzali olungileyo, umyeni othembekileyo, umthandi onomdla, iqabane kwaye ke imicimbi ivela ngenxa yoluhlu lwezinto ezilindelekileyo.
Xa izinto ozilindeleyo zingaphakamanga kakhulu, kuba lula ukuthandana. Inzondo iyancipha kwaye nobabini niya kuba sisibini esonwabileyo. Ke qiniseka ukuba uyazikhumbula izinto ozilindeleyo ozisa kulwalamano lwakho.
3. Awuyi kuhlala ufumana uthando
Unokuba kunye neqabane eligqibeleleyo emhlabeni, banokwenza yonke into ngokuchanekileyo, kodwa kusekho iintsuku apho uya kuziva ngathi awuhambelani nabo. Uya kuziva ngathi awuthandani.
Ngamaxesha anje, kubalulekile ukuba uhlale uzinza ngamaxabiso akho.
La maxesha aya kuchonga ukuba ninjani njengesibini; endaweni yokulandela iimvakalelo ocinga ukuba ubufanele ukuba unazo, hlala phantsi uphumle.
Ayisiyonto yakuzixhalabisa ngayo.
4. Intsapho yeqabane lakho sisitshixo
Gcina umkhondo wokuba iqabane lakho lihlala njani nosapho lwalo. Ngaba bayavana? Ngaba zazisondele okanye zazikude? Ngaba bekukho ukungqubana phakathi komnye nomnye?
Olu lwazi lubaluleke kakhulu njengoko uninzi lwezi zinto zosapho luthanda ukuphinda ziphinde zivele emtshatweni wakho.
Xa abantu abatshatileyo bekwazi ukuthetha namaqabane abo ngaphandle kokugweba benza inqanaba elomeleleyo lokuthembana kunye nokuhloniphana.
5. Gcina ingxelo yemali yeqabane lakho
Kubalulekile ukuba bobabini abatshatileyo bachaze imeko yabo yezemali kunye kwaye emva koko bathathe isigqibo ngeyona ndlela yokulawula.
Izibini ezininzi zihlala zineakhawunti enye ngokudibeneyo kunye neeakhawunti zazo zebhanki ezahlukeneyo.
Qiniseka ukuba wenza nantoni na ekusebenzela, xoxa ngemeko yezemali ukunqanda ukuziva unganqabisekanga okanye ulawulwa.
Lo mmandla kubudlelwane unokuzala ukungathembani kunye nemiba; sesinye sezizathu zokuba uninzi lwabantu lukhethe ukuqhawula umtshato.
6. Impixano ayinakuphepheka
Xa kwisigaba sasemva komtshato kubudlelwane kunzima ukuba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wokuba ikamva linempikiswano nokungavisisani.
Kodwa le yinyani, njengoko ixesha lihamba ungaqala ukuqaphela izinto ezicaphukisayo malunga neqabane lakho, imikhwa yabo emibi kwaye inokuba yinto ekujoliswe kuyo kwimilo phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Oku kuqhelekile ngokupheleleyo; xa kuvela amaxesha anje zama ukusombulula umba endaweni yokukhumbula malunga nexesha elidlulileyo.
Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu ekufuneka uyazi ngaphambi kokuzinza kukuba ukubanethemba kubaluleke kakhulu. Ukuba awunalo ithemba, ulwalamano lwakho luya kuchaphazeleka. Kubalulekile ukuba uzive wonwabile kwaye ukhipha amandla kwaye oku kuya kuthi kuncede ekwandiseni uthando kunye nothando phakathi kwakho ngamaqabane akho.
Jonga phambili kwikamva ngamathemba amnandi kunye nokuthembana. Oku kuyakunceda ekwandiseni iqhina onalo kwaye komeleze umtshato wakho. Musa ukuzithelekisa nabanye kwaye ugcine ubudlelwane bakho busempilweni.