Umxholo
- Buza ugqirha malunga nendlela yabo yokucebisa izibini
- Qiniseka ukuba uhleli kakuhle ngendlela
- Iinjongo ezintlanu zokucebisa izibini
- 1. Guqula izimvo zakho kubudlelwane bakho
- 2. Sebenza ukulungisa ukungasebenzi kakuhle
- 3. Sebenzela ukukhulisa ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo
- 4. Gxila kunxibelelwano oluphuculweyo
- 5. Vavanya amandla afihliweyo osele unawo neqabane lakho
Ukuba umtshato wakho uhamba kwimeko enzima, unokucinga ngokucebisa izibini. Ngumbono olungileyo: uphando lubonisa ukuba iingcebiso ngezibini zinokuba sisixhobo esiluncedo ekuncedeni izibini zichonge iipateni ezingalunganga emtshatweni wazo kwaye, okubaluleke ngakumbi, zilungise ezi patheni ngaphambi kokuba umtshato ungaphaya kokulungiswa. Nokuba isibini sigqibe kwelokuba sahlukane, ukuchitha ixesha kwiiseshoni zokucebisa izibini kuluncedo. Inika aba bantu babini indawo ekhuselekileyo yokukhupha imiba yabo ngomntu wesithathu ongathathi hlangothi okhokela incoko kwisisombululo esivelisayo.
Ukhetha njani ugqirha olungileyo? Izakhono zokucebisa izibini ezitshatileyo zahlukile kwezo zomcebisi ojolise kunyango lomntu ngamnye. Nalu uluhlu lweempawu oza kuzijonga wakuba uthathe isigqibo sokutyala imali kwiingcebiso zezibini.
Buza ugqirha malunga nendlela yabo yokucebisa izibini
Ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuba usebenzisa iindlela ezibonakalisiweyo kwicandelo labo, ngophando kunye neziphumo ezisemthethweni. Ukwafuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba ugqirha wakho unolwazi ngonyango olutsha olukhoyo kwizibini ezitshatileyo. Ngamanye amagama, khangela umntu okhutheleyo ebaleni, oya kwinkomfa kunye nokwabelana ngeziphumo kunye nabanye abacebisi ngezibini ukuze izakhono zabo zihlale zangoku kwaye zintsha. Into yokugqibela oyifunayo kukuzifumana ukwiingcebiso ngezibini kunye nonyango olusebenzisa izinto eziphelelwe lixesha kwaye mhlawumbi nezingasebenziyo.
Qiniseka ukuba uhleli kakuhle ngendlela
Akukho ndlela “ilungileyo” yokucebisa izibini, kodwa kufuneka uzive ukhululekile ngeendlela ezisetyenzisiweyo kunyango. Ngexesha leseshoni yokuqala kunye nonyango lwakho, unokufuna ukubuza le mibuzo ilandelayo:
1. Ungayichaza imvelaphi yakho kunye noqeqesho kwiingcebiso ngezibini?
Ukuba ugqirha akanalo uqeqesho olusemthethweni kolu khetho, cinga ngokuya kwenye indawo.
2. Yeyiphi ipesenti yokwenza kwakho egxile ekucebiseni kwababini?
Ufuna ukusebenza nomntu ongasebenziyo nabantu nje, kuba ezi zakhono azifani nale nto uyifunayo kumcebisi wabatshati.
3. Yiyiphi indlela ocinga ngayo xa elinye iqabane linomdla wokuphelisa umtshato kwaye elinye livakalelwa ngamandla ukuba lifuna ukusebenzela ukugcina umtshato?
Qiniseka ukuba i-Therapist isebenza nani nobabini nokuba yeyiphi na into eniyifunayo kwaye ayibonakali ngathi ithanda icala elinye okanye elinye.
4. Uthini umbono wakho ngomtshato?
Ingcali elungileyo yomtshato kufuneka ikholelwe ngokuqinileyo ukuba akukho buhlobo bungaphaya kokulungiswa kwaye ukuba isibini sibeka ixesha kunye nomzamo, uxolelwaniso olunokwenzeka lunokwenzeka. Esi sisitshixo ukuba ufuna iingcebiso kwizibini ukuze ubuyisele ubudlelwane bakho kwinto eyayiyiyo ngaphambili. Umcebisi olungileyo ngomtshato ngumntu onethemba lokuba zingenziwa iinguqu kwaye ungafunda ukuvuselela uthando kunye nokusondela obukade unako ngaphambi kokuba izinto zibe mbi.
5. Yintoni esinokuyilindela kwiiseshoni zethu kunye nawe?
Lo mbuzo uza kukunika umbono wohlobo lweenjongo oza kusebenza kuzo kunyango. Unokufuna ukuchaza zombini iinjongo zexesha elifutshane kunye nexesha elide.
6. Singalindela nini ukubona ezinye iziphumo kwiiseshoni zethu kunye nawe?
Uya kufuna ukuba nembono yexesha lotyalomali olujongileyo kunye nokuseka amanqaku emilinganiselo yeziphumo.
Iinjongo ezintlanu zokucebisa izibini
Njengoko ucinga kwaye uphonononge oochwephesha abahlukeneyo, gcina ezi njongo engqondweni.
1. Guqula izimvo zakho kubudlelwane bakho
Uya kufunda ukubona ubudlelwane bakho ngokusebenzisa iilensi ezinenjongo, endaweni yelensi ezaliswe yimpikiswano oyisebenzisayo ngoku. Uya kufunda izakhono zokuyeka ukusola iqabane lakho kwaye uqale ukuqonda ukuba ukwicandelo elinye, iqela elifuna ukubuyela kulwalamano olunothando nolonwabisayo. Ingcali yakho iya kusebenza nawe ukuze utshintshe indlela ojonga ngayo ubudlelwane bakho kwaye ulungelelanise unxibelelwano lwakho ukuze luphucule indlela enisebenza ngayo kunye.
2. Sebenza ukulungisa ukungasebenzi kakuhle
Ingcali elungileyo iya kuzama ukukunceda ufumane izakhono eziyimfuneko ukulungisa iintlobo zokuziphatha eziyingozi emtshatweni wakho. Oku kuziphatha kunokuba ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwasengqondweni, kwezezimali, okanye kubuntu. Unyango lwakho luza kuqala ngovavanyo oluthembekileyo kubuntu bakho kunye nokuziphatha kwakho ekhaya nangaphandle kwayo.
3. Sebenzela ukukhulisa ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo
Ukuba ukwinqanaba lomtshato wakho ukuba ufuna iingcebiso ngezibini, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhule ngokweemvakalelo kude komnye nomnye. Ingcali yakho iya kusebenza ukukunceda uveze iimvakalelo zakho kunye neengcinga zakho. Kananjalo baya kukunceda ukhulule naluphi na uloyiko onokuba nalo malunga nokwabelana ngezi mvakalelo zisenyongweni kunye neqabane lakho.
4. Gxila kunxibelelwano oluphuculweyo
Bonke abacebisi abatshatileyo abasebenza ngokugxile ekuncedeni amaqabane ukuba anxibelelane ngemveliso ngakumbi. Uyakusebenzela ukunxibelelana ngembeko, ngenkxaso nangothando neqabane lakho. Uya kufunda ubuchule bokumamela ngokukuko.
5. Vavanya amandla afihliweyo osele unawo neqabane lakho
Ingcali yezonyango elungileyo iya kukukroba amandla kulwalamano lwakho kwaye ikufundise indlela yokwakha ukomelela ngokusekwe kula mandla. Inqaku lokutyhila amandla akho kukukunceda ukhumbule okuhle kunye nokuqinisekileyo kubudlelwane bakho, ngaphandle kwayo yonke imbambano ekhokelele ekufuneni unyango. Wena neqabane lakho niya kucelwa ukuba nichaze ukuba yintoni amandla ohlukileyo kulwalamano lwenu. Unokumangaliswa kukuva oko kuthethwa liqabane lakho!
Kwababini abafuna uncedo ekwakheni umtshato wabo kwakhona, unyango lwezibini lunokubaluleka kule nkqubo. Qiniseka ukuba uyalwenza uphando lwakho kwaye ukhethe ugqirha oziva ukuba ukulungele, ukuqonda, kwaye utyale imali ekuncedeni ubuyisele ubudlelwane bakho emgceni.