Umxholo
- Iinkonzo kunye neengxaki zeentaka zokuqhawula izicwangciso zokuqhawula umtshato
- Ukulawula indlwane yeentaka: Indlela entsha yokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana
Eli linqaku lesibini kuthotho lwam lokuGcinwa koLondolozo.
"Ukugcina iintaka" yindlela yenguqu yokugcina umntwana ebangela umdla omkhulu kubazali abasandula ukwahlukana.
Eli lungiselelo libandakanya abazali abahlala kwikhaya losapho kodwa bahlala ubomi obahlukileyo ngamaxesha athile oxanduva lwabantwana basebenzisa indawo yokuhlala yekhaya njengeyona ndawo iphambili yokugcina abantwana.
Kumalungiselelo amaninzi "okutya iintaka" abazali bayaqhubeka nokuhlala kunye nosaphome kodwa nilale kumagumbi ahlukeneyo okulala.
Enye eyahlukileyo kule ndlela kukuba abazali bayatshintsha bahlala ekhaya nabantwana ixesha elichaziweyo veki nganye.
Ulungiselelo lwe- "Birdnesting" luye lwaduma ngakumbi emva koqoqosho lwe-2008.
Ukhetho olunomtsalane lwezezimali, kunye nesibonelelo esongeziweyo esinokubakho sokunciphisa ifuthe leemvakalelo zokwahlukana ebantwaneni.
Ukuba uyazibuza malunga nokukhetha ukuqhawula umtshato kwintaka okanye ukugcinwa kwendlwana yentaka kwesona sisombululo sisiso kusapho lwakho ke masikhe sikhanyise ngakumbi ngesi sihloko.
Iinkonzo kunye neengxaki zeentaka zokuqhawula izicwangciso zokuqhawula umtshato
"Ukuthetha ngeentaka" kuhleli ngaphandle kwemiceli mngeni. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba abazali baceba ukusebenzisa le ndlela ixesha elide. Yi kuqhelekile kuxinzelelo lweemvakalelo phakathi kwabazali ukuba kuvele emva kokwahlukana.
Olu xinzelelo luhlala ludamba ngokuhamba kwexesha njengoko abazali beqhubeka nobomi babo obutsha. Kwimeko ye- "Birdnesting", nangona kunjalo, le ngxwabangxwaba ingaqhubeka nokudilika okanye nokwakha njengoko besabelana kwikhaya elinye, nangeentsuku ezahlukeneyo.
Esinye isizathu sokuxhasa olu hlobo lwamalungiselelo olondolozo kukuba kumzali omnye okanye bobabini kunokubakho ukungaboni ngasonye malunga nokwahlukana. Oku kunokuba ngenxa yexhala labo malunga nefuthe loqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni okanye iimvakalelo zabo zelahleko okanye ityala malunga nokwahlukana.
Ngokuhamba kwexesha, nangona kunjalo, "ukuloba iintaka" kunokwenza imiqobo kubazali ukuba baqhubeke kwaye baphile ubomi babo ngokupheleleyo.
Isizathu esibalulekileyo sokuba abazali batsaleleke kumbono "wokulalisa iintaka" kukuba bakholelwa ukuba kuluncedo kubantwana babo ukuba bahlale bethe ngxi kwifashoni ethile kunokuba bahlukane ngokupheleleyo.
Nangona izibonelelo ze Utshintsho oluthe chu nge- "Birdnesting" lunokunika intuthuzelo kubantwana kwisigaba sokuqala sokwahlukana. Njengesisombululo sexesha elide la malungiselelo kunokuba nzima ngakumbi kwaye adideke abantwana kunokuba isisombululo samakhaya amabini sinokuba njalo.
Iyaqondakala into yokuba abazali bafuna njalo ukunciphisa umonakalo weemvakalelo ofunyanwa ngabantwana ngenxa yokwahlukana ngokwasemzimbeni komnye umzali. Kule meko "ukuloba iintaka" kunokubonakala ngathi kukuvumelana okuhle.
Ngelishwa, akunakwenzeka ukuba ube "uhlobo" lokuqhawula umtshato. Inyani yile yokuba kufuneka uhambe ngendlela yakho, ushiye ubomi bakho obuqhelekileyo kokungaziwayo, kunzima.
Ekuhambeni kwexesha, nangona kunjalo, olo hambo lukhuselekileyo lukhuselekile kuwe nakubantwana bakho. Ukuphila ubomi obahlukileyo phakathi kwabanye abazali kwikhaya elinye ngokubanzi ayisosisombululo sexesha elide.
Owona mgibe ubalulekileyo kolu hlobo lwamalungiselelo kukuba abazali abade kufuneka balwe omnye nomnye kwiindawo ezikufutshane bakuba begqibe kwelokuba bahlukane, banomsindo ngakumbi kwaye banokuba nomsindo ngakumbi.
Abaqeqeshi bezomthetho nabezonyango bajongana nemicimbi enxulumene nokwabelana kwabazali okanye ukuhlala kunye kwindawo yokuhlala eqhelekileyo.
Ungenelelo lwabo luyafuneka ngenxa yokwanda kwempixano yabazali ethi ibangelwe lolu hlobo lwamalungiselelo. Oku ungquzulwano lunokukhokelela kwizityholo zobundlobongela basekhaya kunye nemiyalelo yokuthintela elandelayo.
Kwincwadi yam yam yokugqibela ethi "Guqula Ingqondo yakho" ndibonisa ukubakho kwengxabano eyonyukayo kunye nokuba nokwenzeka kobundlobongela basekhaya obubangelwe sisiphumo sempixano evela phakathi kwabazali emva kokwahlukana.
Ukuba ukufunyanwa kobundlobongela basekhaya kusekwe kumzali, kudala izithintelo ezinkulu kulowo mzali ekwabelaneni ngokuGcinwa kweNdalo ngokuDibeneyo kunye noMthetho oDibeneyo wokuGcina abantwana babo.
"Ukuloba iintaka" kunokuba neziphumo ebezingalindelekanga ebantwaneni. Ukuhlala kwikhaya langaphambili losapho, indawo yeenkumbulo ezininzi ezilungileyo nezibuhlungu zinokuba luxinzelelo kumzali.
Abantwana bayayiqonda indlela abavakalelwa ngayo ngabazali babo. Umzali okhathazekileyo ngokweemvakalelo, nokuba angazifihla kangakanani, unokubaphazamisa abantwana ekugxileni esikolweni, kubahlobo nakwizinto zangaphandle.
Ukongeza, ukuhlala kunye kwabazali ixesha elide kunokubangela ukudideka kubantwana abajonga abazali baqhubeka nokuhlala njengophawu lokuba baya kudibana kwakhona.
Ukulawula indlwane yeentaka: Indlela entsha yokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana
Ukuba ngenene awukwazi ukushiya indawo yokuhlala yosapho, kukho iindlela zokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokuzikhusela kwizityholo ezinokuphazamisa amalungelo akho okugcina.
Nazi ezinye zeengcebiso:
– Funa ingcebiso kwezomthetho malunga nemeko yakho kunye nezinto onokukhetha kuzo.
– Musa ukuzivumela ucatshukiswe ngomnye umzali. Ukuba uyacaphuka kwaye amapolisa abizwa ukuba amandla akho okwabelana ngokugcina ngokudibeneyo aya kuba sengozini.
– Funa inkxaso yeklinikhi ukukunceda uqhubekeke neemvakalelo zakho ngeli xesha linzima ukuze ukwazi ukugcina ubukho beemvakalelo zabantwana bakho.
– Sukubandakanyeka ngokuthe ngqo ebantwaneni kuxinzelelo lokwahlukana kwakho, umsindo okanye usizi nangona kuwe ezi mvakalelo ziqhelekile, ziyaqondakala kwaye zichanekile. Umzekelo weemvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha owusetayo uya kudlala indima enkulu kwindlela abalungisa ngayo ukwahlukana kwabazali babo.
– Qinisekisa ukuba abantwana bafumana eyakho ingqalelo eyahlukileyo ngaphandle kwemeko yoxinzelelo ozifumana ukuyo.
– Ukuxhasa abantwana bakho kugxile kwimisebenzi efanelekileyo yophuhliso ezinje ngesikolo, izihlobo kunye nemisebenzi yangaphandle.
Nangona inokusebenzela abanye abazali, ngokubanzi, "ukubamba iintaka" njengesisombululo sexesha elide kwaye kunokubangela ukungakwazi ukushiya indlwane.
Ulungelelwaniso olucetywe kakuhle olwenzayo ukuba nihlalisane, ngaphaya komhla wokuphelelwa kobudlelwane benu njengesibini, lunokuza ngexabiso lelona lixabisekileyo, inkululeko yenu.